Alan walked into Charlie's room, shutting the door behind him. "Charlie, wake up. Jake just-" He cut off, stopping halfway to his brothers bed.

Charlie was asleep, writhing atop his bed; pulling at the sheets and kicking his feet.

Then Alan heard an astonishing noise from his mouth. Charlie started to moan. The kind that Alan had heard countless times coming from his room, but always from a more feminine source.

He hesitated longer, not sure what to do. Alan didn't have long to contemplate the situation before Charlie pulled himself out of it.

Sitting up suddenly, Charlie let out a small cry.

Alan took a step back.

Charlie gasped unevenly, still clutching the sheets with tight fists.

"Um, Charlie?" Alan shrank back when Charlie turned, almost angrily, toward him. "You okay?"

"Does it look like it?" Charlie muttered, looking at his lap. He slowly unclenched his hands. "Did you hear anything? I mean, was I saying anything?"

Moving forward again, Alan grinned slightly. "I heard something alright." He sniggered. "But no words."

Charlie glowered, swinging his legs over the side of his bed. "Why are you even in my room, Alan? Get out. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Oh, oh." Alan crossed his arms, walking toward the other. "And miss out on those wonderfully sexy noises? I think not."

Standing, Charlie turned slowly. "I'm warning you." He lifted a hand, pointing. "If you tell anyone. I will personally see to your execution."

Alan didn't back down. "What, are you embarrassed, Charlie?" He planted himself firmly a few feet in front of his brother. "Scared your masculinity is on the line because you moan like-"

Charlie reached out, grabbing Alan by the front of his shirt. Pulling him close enough that their noses were almost touching, he stared at him hard. "You. Will. Say. Nothing."

Alan squirmed in the grip, grabbing at Charlie's forearms. "O- okay." He laughed nervously. "You act like this is the worst thing I know about you.

Charlie's eyes narrowed further. "You'll say nothing of that either." He hitched the man up higher. "Right, dear brother?"

"Course!" Alan nodded enthusiastically. "Now, now let me go. Jake, yeah, Jake's calling me!"

Regarding the brunet evenly, Charlie slowly released him.

Alan stumbled a bit. Centered once again, he adjusted his shirt, looking indignant. "You- you- you." He snorted, but took a step back to be safe. "You are a horrible little man."

"Get out, Alan." Charlie waved a hand dismissively, heading for his bathroom.

"You know," Alan said quickly, determined to have the last word. "I'm glad Jake scratched your piano. HA."

Charlie stopped cold, straightening. "What?" He twisted around.

"Oh crap." Alan glanced around. The door was closed, the window wasn't open, so all that left was hiding under the bed or screaming like a girl. Why did he even close the door?

They watched each other for a moment, both waiting for the other to move.

Charlie broke the silence, advancing. "I am going to kill you." He said. "Then I am going to torture your son."

Alan faked to the right and while Charlie was going the way, he darted for the bathroom.

This was not a good morning.

- - - -

I was gonna wrote some CharlieAlan slash here. . . But got lazy.

Still.

The point stands.

Charlie moaning, actually moaning, has got to be one of the sexiest noises EVER.

Even if he walking in on Evelyn having sex when he was eight is what brought it on.