Chapter One

What Happens When The Ever After Ain't So Happily?

Sookie knew that Eric would never come out and ask her for it. He was too proud and too damn stubborn. She was afraid to try it, as much as she wanted to. There had been the first and thus far only visit from her true father, Niall. With the joy of meeting him had come admonitions and warnings about her fae ability to wish things into happening and the ensuing fight that had left her broken in many ways.

"My daughter, the more you wish, the more you alter the future in irreparable ways. You may be denying someone their existence by merely wishing for a cheeseburger. I cannot take the ability away from you, it is yours by birthright. But to have used it to increase the amount of fae blood in you? You nor I cannot undo that! Now you have undone everything I did to try and protect you. I wove deep magic around you to prevent anyone from knowing just how much fae blood you really had. So many dangerous creatures are aware of you now. You might as well have painted a bulls-eye on your forehead."

She hadn't taken his condescension very well at all. "Well excuse the hell out of me for not knowing how to handle all the shit that I didn't even know I had! Someone was conveniently absent from my life until now, the one person who COULD have stepped in before it was too late but chose not to!"

It hadn't phased Niall in the slightest, he merely continued with his tirade. "Do you know how close I came to starting an all out war with your lover when I found out that he had turned you? It would have meant tremendous bloodshed and loss of life for his people and mine! It was foolish of you to associate yourself with vampires!"

"All that knowledge and a quarter won't get me a cup of coffee now. I suppose that Eric should have let me die instead of inconveniencing you with my changing? You know what? Fuck you Fairy. Go back to your magical happy la-la-la realm and never darken my doorway again! I HATE YOU! I banish you from my sight!" When she'd turned to face him, he was already gone. Eric had been appalled at the sight of her when he's awoken at nightfall.

"Alskarinna! What has upset you so?"

She'd been unable to answer until much later, when the crying of bloody tears had subsided and Eric had made love to her for hours. Afterwards, he'd been angry and ready for vengeance, she'd almost felt like allowing it although she hadn't a clue how they would find her father to carry out their revenge.

That was something else that bothered her. She was finder it harder to maintain the same level of human compassion as before. She'd gone to see Sam a couple weeks ago just because she missed him and needed a friend and it was still daytime. While there in Merlottes, sitting at the bar chatting away with her former employer, Jane Bodehouse, in all her drunken glory, had fallen into Sookie. The smell of her intoxication and the stench of her less than stellar hygiene were too much and she had shoved the sloppy alcoholic roughly away from her. The action had sent Jane flying into the booth where Catfish and a couple other Parish employees were drinking their lunch. Sookie's fangs had come out and she'd stood there growling while the citizens of Bon Temps ran for the exit.

Sookie had turned to apologize to Sam and he had been staring at her, his expression aghast she'd fled then and hadn't made an effort to contact him since. He'd tried to call me a few times but Sookie refused to answer. Even Eric was beginning to worry about her aggressive mood.

"Lover, what's got you so harassed and upset? You're not yourself these days."

"Please don't even start telling me how fucked up I am, I know all to well already."

"What can I do, lover? How can I please you and make you well again?" She'd only been able to cry in response. He'd held her gently and made no move to have sex with her. Smart vampire, but it didn't help. Her anger got exponentially worse with every passing day.

Maybe it was the fact that not only did she not require rest at all but it was impossible for her to even go into down time mode. She had 24/7 to think about all manner of things and the stress was getting to her. She'd had what she considered an epiphany the day before. What was wrong with her was that in the state she was in, she was not vamp enough and not human enough either. She was suspended in a strange hinterland of being and she couldn't totally claim either side successfully.

The chase, capture, execution and subsequent feeding on of those who had wronged the supernatural community was no longer satisfying her. This may not have been such a problem but she seemed to be having an allergic reaction to the synthetic stuff lately. Anytime she drank it now she vomited it up in torrents, it always seemed that more came up than she had been able to drink in the first place. Eric had informed her that it was not normal for Vampires to vomit at all when she'd tried to eat a burger right after turning. Her body's rejection of the synthetic blood had scared him into calling Dr. Ludwig. Sookie had refused to allow the woman to even come into the room with her.

As she lay here now beside Eric, watching his absolute stillness and envying his requirement to sleep while the sun was up, she had her first thought of suicide.

Don't be fucking insane, Sookie. You don't mean it.

Oh don't I? And isn't talking to yourself and answering yourself a sure sign on insanity?

Shut the hell up and do something to get our mind off of this!

Sookie was still in the habit of creeping out of bed and up the stairs to go topside, even though nothing much short of an explosion would have woken Eric. The sun had risen only three hours ago. This type of day would have been ideal for her when she was still human. She most certainly would have been in her bikini already and soaking up the rays, maybe doing some yard work. It wasn't that she couldn't go out in the sun, but what was the point? She'd never have the healthy glow of of a tan again. While her skin didn't have the same pallor you usually found on the undead, she was paler than normal for sure. It might take you a second longer to realize what she was but it wasn't too hard to figure out.

But do I even know what I really am?

On top of all the self loathing, she had put those she held dearest into danger just by continuing to exist. The Fellowship of the Sun had her in their sights. Eric was still trying to figure out who had leaked the information. Sookie had scanned the minds of every supe they knew and had come up empty. She could no longer read human minds but she'd never believed that it had been a mortal in the first place.

So as she sat in the front yard of the home she shared with her amazing Eric, she came full circle to the original thought that had started this whole round of rumination.

Eric wants me to wish for him to be human again for just one day.

There's no doubt that she could do it, but what part of the present or the future would she be harming or destroying by making that wish?