A/N: *Smacks head against wall* Thank God! I finally finished moving! Seriously! It's such a drag. I've barely had time to watch any anime, but one that I recently finished reading both amused and annoyed me. Ore no Imouto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai. Otherwise known as My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute. At first I enjoyed it, but then things really started spiralling madly out control as the second season came around. I understood it was an incest anime,-hardly any in this one at all-but even so...heh, I guess I just wasn't prepared for Kyousuke breaking up/rejecting all those girls like he did and making them cry. To be frank, it irritated me. Severely.

And of course, my mind spawned something in retaliation...

...Enjoy.

"Ararara...did I come at a bad time?"

~?

Black and Crimson

"Baka!"

Kyousuke Kousaka yelped and ducked as his little sister struck out at him with one of the many utensils lining the table. The knife slammed into the seat he'd been sitting mere moments before; had his hand still been there, it would most certainly have been skewered.

"Calm down, Kirino!"

"I won't!" His little sister exclaimed, trying to stab him again. "Do you have any idea what you just said?! Baka! Ecchi! Die!"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Kyousuke exclaimed. "Argh, why do you always have to take things out of context?!"

"Because you're the one saying them, baka!"

"That's it!" Kirino exclaimed, rising from her chair, "I'm out of here!"

"Mah, mah," Saori tried to calm them, but to no avail. "Lets just wait until he arrives..."

"Fine, but as soon as he gets here, I'm gone."

Rui Gokou, also known as Kuroneko, fellow member of the "Otaku Girls Unite!" anime circle, was rather curious about the new member herself. She knew it was a guy-rather odd when one considered the name of their little circle-but Saori seemed to be willing to make an exception for him so...she would hold her words until she saw him. Until then, she silently resolved to bear with Kyousuke and Kirino's bickering. Honestly they had no idea how they felt about one another. It was all part of her plan of course, but even so it made her wonder...just what did Kyousuke-senpai see in his little sister?

"Could the two of you please keep it down?" she sighed softly. "You're disturbing the other customers."

Kirino glowered, her wrath now fixed upon Ruri.

"...Yeah, well how about this: you're dressed like a goth lolita in a bad doujinshi!"

Kuroneko bristled. They'd had this same arguement once before, but it never ceased to rile her.

"...Oh?... heh heh... It appears that I cannot stop these dark conceptions forming inside of my mind... Ah how pitiful. Even I don't know what may happen to you at this point..."

"Oh, you've done it now...

"What was that?!"

"Ara, sorry for making you wait!" A voice called, interrupting their cold war. "I'm not late am I?"

"Ah," Saori beamed, "That sounds like him."

"Where?" Kuroneko strained to see through the crowded cafe, but to no avail. Kirino and Kyousuke didn't seem to be having much luck, either.

"Eh?" Kirino blinked. "Is that him? Gross."

"Over here!" The voice replied, its own shouldering their way through the crowd towards them.

The first thing Kuroneko noticed about him was the hair. And how could she not? It was such a startling shade of blond-had he dyed it?-that her first thought was to wonder whether he was a delinquent. And those blue eyes, they were so incredibly bright and filled with life. Then there were the whiskers on his face, tripling either cheek. Makeup, she wondered? Whomever he was...he certainly seemed to be a dedicated cosplayer. Now that she had a good look at him, he seemed rather familiar. And that uniform...did he go to her school? She'd never seen him before. And what was up with that crimson cloak and scroll? He really did look like an otaku now that she thought about it. That much was to be expected. But did they really attend the same school? She was certain she'd never seen someone so outlandish before. He made her 'Queen of Nightmare' attire look like mere mortal trappings!

And yet there as just something about him...

"Welcome, Naruto-shi!" Saori waved. "We've been waiting for you, de gozaru!"

"Sorry!" The blond laughed, performing a perfunctory bow. "I had some business to take care of."

In that outfit? everyone else wondered.

"Well in that case, allow me to introduce you to everyone, de gozaru! The gentleman over there is Kyousuke Kousaka-

"Yo." Kyousuke waved.

-his sister, Kiririn-shi

Kirino offered a half-nod.

Saori's gaze settled upon Kuroneko.

"And this is...

"Nice ta meetcha, Gokou-chan." Naruto's visage lit into a foxy grin when he saw her, only to falter moments later. "Oops! My bad." He stuck out his tongue teasingly. "Saori-sensei told me your real name but everyone seems calls you Kuroneko online, so I wasn't sure which one to use...ya know?"

What is this feeling...?

Incredibly, Ruri felt her cheeks begin to burn. What was this? He'd just asked her a simple question and yet, she couldn't bring herself to answer him...nor look him in the eye. Frustrating! Why was she frustrated? She didn't know! She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something about this boy just sent her skin tingling. In the end, she settled for a soft-sounding:

"E-Either is fine...

"Hai hai," He sighed. "I'll just call ya Ruri-chan, then? In that case..." Before she could stop him he took her palm, raised it to his face, and pressed both lips to the back of her hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, face to face, my queen of nightmares." In that instant his entire demeanor seemed to change. A devilish grin tugged at his lips, and his azure eyes seemed to take on an almost crimson glow. Contacts, then? Kuroneko felt her both respect and curiousity climb yet another notch. He knew of Maschera? Interesting. But wait a moment. He'd kissed her hand. Just like...Ruri felt her flush deepen. Almost on instinct, her cosplay personality kicked on in full force.

"I am pleased to see you know of me, mortal." she said imperiously, taking a hand-the very same one he'd kised-and holding it out before her face. "Are you here to become my servant?"

"Absolutely not!" Naruto surprised her with a harsh laugh, tossing back his head with a fierce flourish. He was playing his part well, Kuroneko thought. "For as Saori-sensei has said, my name is Naruto!" Impossibly, his grin grew another inch. "Yes, Uzumaki Naruto! The one who will become Hokage, banish the darkness of war, and bring peace to this wicked world! Hahaha!"

There was a silence, stretching not just across their little circle, but the entire cafe as well.

Uzumaki Naruto?

As in the Uzumaki Naruto from the manga/anime? The one she'd read when she was younger? What kind of joke was this? Ah. Now she understood. He was cosplaying. There was just no way the real thing would show up. That wasn't possible. Not even remotely possible. This was reality after all. No matter. His acting was commendable, even if his personality was a bit...broken. Very well then. Two could play this convulted game of his, and Ruri Gokou would be the one to win it.

Kuroneko glanced at Saori, then pointed to Naruto.

"He isn't serious is he?"

Naruto facepalmed.

"You said they'd take me seriously, sensei!"

"Ahahaha...I can't exactly control them, you know...

"Nonsense!" Naruto stabbed a finger at Ruri. "This one clearly disagrees with my goals!"

"What?" Kuroneko's voice drifed lazily from her lips. She raised her hand haughtily to her lips, elegantly hiding her small mouth behind an equally small hand. "Just what is it that makes you think you have any chance of succeeding in your quest? Do tell me." She waited for his inevitable response; he'd back off of course, and admit he'd gone a bit overboard. His devotion to anime was nowhere near her own of course, any moments now he'd prove her right.

Naruto didn't back down.

"Because I believe in it!" His hands slammed down on the table with such force, the silverware physically jumped a few centimeters into the air. "Mankind has good within them! You cannot let the darkness sweep it all away because of a bad experience; merely on a whim! That would be folly, ya know!"

"Oh?" Ruri was rather starting to like this boy. He had interesting opinions. "You banter rather well for a human. Why don't we take this outside?"

"Fine by me, nightmare queen!"

Kyousuke blanched.

"I...can't tell if they're getting along or not...

"Looks like they've already grown quite close to each other." Saori was smiling.

"Were you even watching the same thing as I was, Saori-san?"

The otaku smiled.

"No matter how you look at it, they've become so full of energy now, aren't they?"

"Hmm...

Kyousuke risked a glance at the pair again; they were arguing emphatically now, but theirs held an air of enjoyment, not unlike the heated discussions Kuroneko had with Kirino. But there was a layer of severity about it, as though Naruto were actually being serious, whereas Kuroneko appeared to be merely jesting with him. Their bickering became less about their respective animes as it dragged on-more and more nonsencial. Even if they weren't aware of it Naruto and Ruri were actually beginning to smile, despite the insults they were flinging at one another.

"Well, its good to see the black one getting along with someone other than us." Kirino murmurred.

"Did you say something?"

"N-Nothing! You're hearing things, baka! Aniki no baka!" Despite her vehement protests Kirino seemed to be secretly enjoying their little arguement, perhaps she was simply relived she wasn't the one arguing with Ruri this time. Kyousuke had to admit, he found himself enjoying it as well. Kuroneko deserved someone who shared her interests, someone just as fixated on anime as she...even if Naruto was a bit of an oddball. Seriously-his outfit put other cosplayers to shame! Where the devil had he gotten such a getup...

Something occurred to him, just then.

"Say, didn't Naruto have an internet handle, too?" he asked Saori.

"He called himself the Crimson Fox online." Saori's glasses seemed to gleam in that instant. "Fitting, isn't it?"

"Heh...

The Crimson Fox and the Black Cat. It did have a nice ring to it, or so he thought. Naruto and Kuroneko were obviously at odds with one another, but in a way that seemed to attract rather than repel. They were just so amicably avid about their arguements, but humans had their limits. Eventually they had to pause to breathe. Eventually, they had to run out of things to bicker about. And once they did, redfaced and gasping for breath everyone thought their cold war was finally over. It was not.

"Wanna go out?" Naruto ventured abruptly.

Kuroneko blinked rapidly, taken aback by the sudden request; there was another silence then, thicker than before. She was the one to shatter it, her face flushing seven shades of scarlet.

"W-W-W-What did you just say?!"

"I thought I was being blunt." Naruto frowned. "I'm asking you: do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Eh?" Kyousuke felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

"Huh?!" Kirino gasped.

"Naruto-shi! So bold!" Saori guffawed.

And with that...

...The Crimson Fox asked out the Black Cat.

A/N: Well, there you go. Just a little something, hope you enjoyed it and such. I've become a bit more reliable where my stories are concerned, and plan on updating Malestrom of the Force next, along side a few of my Bleach and One Piece fics. Also, I'll be putting some of them up for adoption in case anyone is interested! But putting that aside, I sincerely hope you enjoyed this little ficlet, dear reader. On a side note, I seriously suggest you at least watch the anime or read the light novel...else you'll be hopelessly lost. Just in case any of you were wondering, this story is entirely AU, that is to say, takes place in an alternate universe. Kuroneko's convinced Naruto isn't the Naruto. Ah, but he is, abilities and all! Boy is she in for a surprise... Let the hilarity ensue and look forward to the next chapter!

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

R&R! =D