This was no fairytale. Although, it was supposed to be just like he promised, just like I promised with the ring I was wearing now, and realized that I hadn't kept
my word. This is reality. It can be beautiful or it could be a nightmare, depending on your choices...I knew that I had made the wrong one, and there was no turning back.
I never turned my back on anything.
"Just tell me why? Tell me why Haley!"
"Nathan, I…I love you." I say so softly that I feel ashamed of it. The media was everywhere, but that didn't justify anything…Nothing should ever deny my marriage to the man I wholly love.
I never hid behind my beliefs.
"Don't you dare..." I felt the power of his mere whisper. It was cold, and it wasn't like Nathan at all. It was just like high school, during his troubled teen life.
"You used to tell me that marrying me was your life but you know what? You know nothing about marriage or else you'd know something about commitment! And since you don't know anything about commitment! Then you don't know anything about LOVE!"
I broke down into sobs. There was no way I could get angry at her now, much less myself. I watch her eyes dart from my already trembline figure. I hit a nerve, and it hit me too. It was true. And it's over. I realize that it has been for quite a while now. - nathan
"Nathan…." I try to reach out for him, and just by touching his shaking shoulder did I realize how far apart we were…we are. Despite his cruel yet true words, I still heard the love in it, along with the bittersweet mixture of deperation from his tone. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to cheat on him and leave for my selfish reasons. We were suppose to move to Philadelphia where we could raise out two beautiful children, Lucas and Brooke Jr.'s. I was supposed to spend every day with him till we both grew old together, just like I promised.
I was never one to break promises.
"Don't touch me." I flinched from her tender caress, knowing that it could give me comfort...but in the end, I knew I would end up in pain.
I had never seen him so broken so hurt and I felt the hot tears spring from its wake. I tried to hard to suppress it, but he always seemed to crack through my shell, even when he looks so miserable before me.
I was never the vulnerable type.
Despite his sudden outburst, I heard the painful words inspire me with wisdom.
The student has become the teacher. In a way, I'm happy for Nathan. He's changed so much, became a better man. Someday he'll find himself another person to love..who will love him with just as much love as I had…have. And whoever she is, will be so lucky…because I messed up my chance. Back then, I would've thought that this day was just like any other day in a teen's life…of course, it was just the regular teenage angst……I wished it was, but in my dysfunctional life, my dysfunctional marriage did I come to realize that today…I had experienced the pain of loving someone...
I watched his reftreating figure, disappear into the distance...into reality.
I didn't cry because it was over, I cried because it happened. In my life, there's the fine line between love and selfishness. So I made my choice, reliazing my mistake. I never denied my heart...
...Till now...
The End