It was one of those boring days at Smash Mansion. The sky was black as night- despite it being morning- only being lit up when streaks of lightning flashed across the clouds. Rain was pouring down relentlessly, creating huge puddles in the grass and causing some weak parts of the roof to leak. By far, this was the worst storm in the past months and there were some promising signs of a power outage. Because of this, Master Hand decided to cancel all matches for the day and frankly, no one had any objections. The last time they tried holding a brawl tournament during a really bad thunderstorm, the power went out during a match between Fox and Kirby on Spear Pillar. Had Pikachu not delivered electricity to the fuse box, the portal would not have opened up again and it would be nearly impossible to bring them back. So now here they were, doing various things. Link, Zelda, Pit, and Samus were sharing lighthearted conversation about recent events, like Pit's new game coming out and the progress of Skyward Sword. Fox and Falco were lounging about, listening to Captain Falcon's uninteresting story about the time he got a speeding ticket. Various other smashers were either huddled around the television, chilling out in the arcade, or raiding the kitchen for extra snacks (Yoshi and Kirby). The younger smashers were in the living room with the others, playing a game of Chinese checkers and were obviously very bored.
"This rain is never going to end." Ness muttered.
"Tell me about it." Popo chimed in. "Nana and I were supposed to have it all out against Red and now this happens." He tossed his head back and uttered a displeasured sigh.
"This is so boring!" Nana groaned. "I'd rather take my chances with the storm."
"Well at least things can't get any…" Lucas started until Toon Link (Toons) clasped his hand over the blonde's mouth.
"Shh!" He whispered. "If you finish the sentence then things will obviously go wrong."
"Toons, you watch too many movies." Lucas crossed his arms. "That superstition is so overrated. As I was going to say, it's not like things can get any…OW!"
Lucas was tackled and squashed by Popo and Ness, and held firmly to the ground like a criminal trying to evade capture.
"Stop! Just stop!" Popo scolded.
"Don't tell me you guys believe in that too." Lucas whined. "Get off!"
Ness and Popo obliged and pulled Lucas off from the ground. The blonde started smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt before taking his seat next to Nana.
"So, who's turn is it?" He asked.
"Who knows?" Nana mumbled. "Can we play a different game? This is getting old."
"Arcade anyone?" Ness offered. "I have some money from the last coin match."
Everyone nodded at the suggestion. Right as they were getting up, the entire room was illuminated in a silver, bright flash. A loud crack of thunder followed thereafter, rattling the walls and posts that held up the mansion. Everyone, including the usually composed smashers like Snake and Samus, flinched at the sudden noise. After a few seconds, the noise subsided and calmness once again filled the air.
"It was just thunder." Ness yawned, feeling the initial shock start to wear off.
"At least we didn't lose power." Lucas responded.
Unfortunately, that was when the lights starting flickering on and off until everything just went dark. The calmness was then replaced by frightened chattering amongst the smashers.
"Lucas!" Toons, Popo, and Ness shouted.
"What?" Lucas sounded angry, but he was more terrified at the sudden power outage. He never really had a thing for the dark.
"You had to say it!"
"Say what? I didn't say anything!"
"Will you all shut up?" Nana shouted, getting the boys' attention. "Ness, Lucas, you two have PSI powers. Can't you light this place up a bit?"
Ness squirmed uneasily. "Remember what happened last time when we used our PSI indoors? We had to stay at that hotel for an entire three months."
"Master Hand was NOT happy." Lucas added, wincing at the memory of the infuriated, disembodied hand.
"Where's Roy when you need him?" Popo asked rhetorically.
"Hey guys, you're still in here right?" Came a voice. It sounded like Link's.
"Link?" Ness said. "Yeah, I think we're all here."
"Okay, good. Master Hand wants everyone in one room when the power goes out like this. I have some candles here."
As soon as everyone had their candle, the entire room was dimly lit up, revealing all the faces of the smashers. Soon, Master Hand popped out of thin air with his trademark laugh. It wasn't the sudden appearance that sent a shiver down everyone's spines, but the sinister laugh that accompanied the hand seemed to unnerve them.
"I swear-a, do you have-a to do that-a every time you come?" Mario murmured.
"Don't blame me." Master Hand responded. "It lets you all know that I'm appearing. Or would you rather be knocked off the seat of your pants when I just come up out of nowhere?"
"YES!" the smashers all shouted at once, catching Master Hand off guard.
"Well, um, okay then." He (it?) stuttered. "Moving on, for those who haven't noticed, the power's out."
"Thank-a you, Captain Obvious." Wario grumbled, earning an electrical zap to his body. "AYE YA YA YAA!"
"Anyways," Master Hand continued. "I sent Crazy to go check out the fuse box…"
"You did WHAT?" all the smashers shouted again.
"Why would you send him?" demanded Ike. "He only knows how to destroy stuff and cause chaos throughout the universe!"
"One of these days, he will be the one solely responsible for starting World War III." Samus shook her head. Snake closed his eyes and shuddered at the thought of fighting a deranged, all-powerful hand.
"And I don't doubt that." Master Hand agreed. "Look, we're going to try to get the electricity working as soon as possible. Pikachu, can I get you to come with me?"
"Pi pika!" Pikachu squealed in fear, sending a bolt of lightning towards Master Hand.
"Ow! What the-" Master Hand started, but then noticed the little Pokémon scampering away.
"After the little rat!" Bowser called out. Most of the smashers drew out their swords, guns, bats, etc. and prepared to pursue Pikachu until Master Hand shouted, "HALT!"
With a loud snap of his fingers, the smashers were immediately frozen in place (not literally, but they couldn't move). "Kill your engines! I don't want you to create more havoc than need be. Must I remind you that the damage you do outside of the stimulation rooms is real and will take the roof off this place? Look, I'll go find Pikachu and I'll have him regenerate the fuse box when he calms down. Red, you're coming with me. And for the rest of you, just stay here and don't wander off."
"Wait!" Ness spoke out through clenched teeth when he noticed Master Hand about to leave. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Hm? Oh yes, right." Master Hand snapped his fingers again, unfreezing all of the smashers. With another maniacal laugh, he, along with Red, slowly vanished without a trace, leaving the smashers shaking in their boots. Everyone sighed and sat in the couches, murmuring quietly amongst themselves.
"So what are we going to do for the next God-knows-how-many hours?" Ike muttered.
"Beats me." Samus replied. "Might as well get to know each other more, considering we're going to be here a while."
"This sucks!" Popo exclaimed in distress. "There's nothing to do and I can't see a freakin' thing!"
"I got an idea!" Lucas said. "How about a game of truth or dare?"
"Truth or dare?" Toons and Nana asked in unison.
"How do you play?" Zelda asked.
"It's simple." Lucas responded. "We go around the room and ask each person 'truth' or 'dare'. If the person picks 'truth', then we ask them a question and they have to answer honestly. If they choose 'dare', then we make them do what we tell them to do."
"Sounds like fun." Link said. "I'm game."
"Count me in." Zelda followed.
"Me too." Ike responded.
"Me three!" Toons, Popo, and Nana spoke at the same time.
"Jigglypuff!" (It's obvious who said that.)
"I'll play." Samus joined in.
"I'll play if Samus is playing." Captain Falcon said, a little mischievously.
"I'm in." Fox answered.
"Count-a me in." Mario replied.
"Ooh! I want to do it too!" Peach sang.
"I'll give it a try." Pit nodded.
"I…guess I'll play." Marth whispered, feeling a little unsure.
"Cool!" Lucas was surprised at how many people wanted to play. "Ness, you want in?"
"Sure!" Ness answered, rubbing his hands together. "I already have a few dares in mind. Hehehe…"
"Anyone else?" Lucas offered up.
"I'm fine with just watching." Snake said, reclining in his chair. "This should be good."
"Nah, I've played it once." Sonic mumbled, recalling a horrified memory. "I had to make out with one of my fans. And I couldn't run for the rest of the day!"
"Well doesn't your life just suck?" Bowser said sarcastically.
"All right. Let's start." Ness began. "Zelda, truth or dare?"
"Truth please." Zelda said.
"I'd ask if you were dating Link, but that's too cliché. So, I'll ask this. If you had to kill someone- other than Ganondorf- in this room, who would it be?"
Zelda yelped a little and looked down at her hands. What did she just get herself into? All the smashers turned their heads, awaiting her answer while Ness sat back with an evil grin on his face.
"Um, I, um…" Zelda stammered. "Can I have another question?"
"Nope, gotta answer this one."
Link shot a glare at Ness, angry at the fact that the boy put his princess in an uncomfortable position.
"If I had to kill someone…" Zelda started. Everyone leaned in their heads expectantly. "It would be…Ness."
Ness fell out of his chair. "Me?"
"Yes! You made me answer this question!"
"You're the one who wanted to play!"
"Guys, chill it's just a game!" Lucas tried to intervene. "Okay, we'll just go to someone else. Zelda, pick someone other than Ness."
"Okay." Zelda thought for a moment. "Mario, truth or dare?"
"After seeing what-a Ness pulled-a on you, I will-a go with dare."
"Okay, um…" Zelda sighed and felt heat rising to her cheeks. She was not cut out for this game and frankly, she was beginning to dislike it. "Um, I dare you to say something about yourself that no one would probably know about."
"Nice, Zel!" Popo high fived the Hylian princess, whom whispered an apology to the plumber.
Mario shook his head, scratched his chin, and hummed. "Here's one-a. My very first-a name was…"
"Jumpan." Ness interrupted. "I think we all know that."
Mario smirked. "Nope, that was-a my second. My first-a name was-a Mr. Video."
"Mr. Video?" Samus raised an eyebrow.
"Yep-a! But that-a name would-a be easily forgettable. So Miyamoto then changed-a it to Jumpman, then-a later to 'Mario.'"
Everyone let out a stunned hum.
"Well I definitely didn't know that." Captain Falcon said.
"I have to brush up on my Nintendo more." Ness mumbled.
"So-a I guess it is-a my turn, no?" Mario scanned the players. "Fox, truth-a or dare?"
"Truth please." Fox responded.
"Since-a you are from-a the dog family, wouldn't that-a make your momma a bitch?" Mario smirked.
Fox scowled as laughs, the loudest one from Wolf, went around the room. "Vixen! She's a vixen!" He menacingly growled. "Ike, truth of dare?"
"Dare!" Ike clapped his hands together. "I'm feeling risky today."
"Switch clothes with Peach."
Peach and Ike blinked. "What?"
"You heard me, switch clothes with Peach. Right here, right now."
"Does it have to be here?" Peach asked, biting her fingernail.
"Yep."
"Why do you hate me?" she started crying.
"Don't blame me. Blame your boyfriend. He called my mom a bitch." Mario shot a death glare at Fox, whom only returned the gesture.
"Ugh, I hate you, Fox." Ike groaned. "Well, let's just get this over with."
Ike reluctantly started to remove his T-shirt, but stopped when he caught a glance of Peach running for the door. Mario followed her into the room and later came back out with a lump on his forehead.
"I have-a no idea what she's-a doing behind there." Mario said, rubbing his bruise.
"If she bails, then I'm not doing this dare." Ike declared.
Suddenly, the door opened slightly and a pink dress was tossed out.
"I'm waiting for Ike's clothes." Peach said, hiding behind the door.
Ike went over to pick the dress up and held it up to his neck. "Are you kidding? This isn't even going to fit!"
"That's what she sai…" Popo started, but Nana clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Just try to pull it as far as it can go." Link said.
With a groan, Ike stripped off his shirt, managed to pull the dress over himself, and took off his pants. He never before felt so humiliated in his entire life. The dress only came down to barely passed his hips, not to mention the threads were threatening to give in at any minute. With another groan, Ike slightly opened the door and tossed in his clothes for Peach to change into. Peach slowly trudged out of the room with Ike's clothes sagging over her entire body. She had to pause multiple times to tighten the belt that kept the pants from falling down. Everyone just watched, clearly entertained and somewhat horrified at the scene.
"How long do we have to do this?" Peach asked.
"Till the end of the game." Ness chuckled.
"Ike, if you stretch out the fabric then you owe me another dress."
Ike snapped around to face her. "Me? This wasn't even my idea!" He turned around to Fox. "If I have to buy her another dress, then I'm doing a coin match with you. That way I can enjoy beating the living crap out of you and getting money doing it!"
Fox was bemused at the threat. "Challenge accepted."
"Okay, Ike, your turn." Lucas said.
Ike thought for a moment and turned his attention to Pit. "Pit, truth or dare?"
"I'm not taking any chances." He muttered. "Truth."
"This will be fun. Have you ever had any…nocturnal emissions?"
"What?"
Snake looked up from the newspaper he was reading under the candlelight. "He's talking about wet dreams, kid."
Pit flushed. "N-no…?"
R.O.B suddenly beeped. "My lie detectors are going off. Pit was not telling the truth."
"Oh ho hoh!" Nearly every guy shouted, embarrassing Pit even more.
"How, I mean, you're an angel?" Lucas was confused.
"Yeah, but he got changed into a mortal to be here." Marth explained.
"Before we get off the subject," Captain Falcon had a smirk on his face. "Who's the lady you were dreaming about?"
Pit was sure he was as red as a tomato right now. "Um, I-I didn't…recognize the…f-face."
R.O.B beeped again. "That was another lie."
Lucario closed his eyes and attempted to search for Pit's dream. "Samus."
More laughter spread throughout the room; Samus pretended to not have heard, but Pit was sure he was going to die (now that he's mortal).
"Hey, screw off!" Popo shouted. "It's natural and I'm pretty sure it's happened to most of you!"
"Whatever." Ness laid back in his chair. "Pit, since you didn't tell the truth, you must have a dare. Here, drink this."
Ness held out a blue Monster© energy drink. "Chug this."
With a trembling hand, Pit received the can and drained it in about forty-five seconds, belching slightly when he finished.
"Good. Now, you have to hold in your urine until we tell you, you can go. But you have to tell everyone when you have to go first!"
Pit sighed. "Why not just make me take my clothes off and spray whipped cream on my tits? I'm already mortified enough. Ah! No never mind! My turn, um, Lucas, truth or…"
"Hang on! I have a dare." Ganondorf said.
"You're not even playing." Link retorted.
"Do I look like I care? Toons, go fall out that window."
Toons shrugged. "Okay."
With a swift movement, Toons brandished his claw, grabbed Link by the shoulder, and threw him out the window, shattering the glass. At first, all that could be heard was Link's screaming, followed by a horrifying thud sound, then silence. Everyone just looked at Toons.
"What?" Toons asked, unfazed. "He dared me to fall. Link IS me. Besides, this makes me equal with him, since he ate my piece of pie this morning."
"Meh, that satisfies me." Ganondorf shrugged and continued amusing himself with his dark magic.
"Will he be okay?" Zelda asked, worry creeping onto her face.
"I think he'll be fine." Ness responded in a calm voice. "It was only about, what, a four-story fall?"
"Four-a stories is a pretty long-a way down." Mario said.
"Well, let's just keep playing. Pit, you were going to ask Lucas?"
Pit was staring into space, his mind still recovering from the humility. "Huh? Oh, I forgot."
"I'll go next then." Popo volunteered. "Jigglypuff, truth or dare?"
"Jigglypuff!" the Pokémon answered.
"Yeah, I didn't understand that. Nana, truth or dare?"
"Dare please."
Popo grinned. "Kiss me."
Nana returned the grin. "With pleasure."
The entire room erupted when the Ice Climbers locked lips with each other. There were groans of "ew", "get a room you two", and "there are children present!" When they were done, the two looked at their "audience."
"Hey, what's so wrong?" Popo asked.
"'What's so wrong?'" Ness reiterated. "Dude, how can you make out with your own sister?"
At this, Popo and Nana burst out into laughter.
"Wow!" Nana said. "You honestly thought we were siblings?"
"…You're not?"
"Hell no!" Popo laughed. "But it was freakin' hilarious to see your reactions though."
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they heard this.
"I'll go next." Lucas said. "Marth, truth or dare?"
"Truth. And no, I am not a girl, I do not cross-dress, and I'm not gay, bi, in denial, pans, or all of the above."
"Okay, but I, uh, wasn't going to ask that." Lucas said. R.O.B's lie detector didn't go off so that eased Lucas's suspicions. "Well, if you had a million dollars would you…"
"No, Lucas!" Ness interjected. "That's a boring question."
Lucas rolled his eyes. "I was just trying to ease everyone's feelings up after those embarrassing events."
"I don't think I'll be getting my dignity back anytime soon." Pit mumbled, drawing his sword.
"No, Pit, don't do it!" Ike yelled as he stood up, accidentally tearing Peach's dress a little. "You still have much to live for!"
"Geez, I was just making sure I still had it with me."
"…oh…"
Ike chuckled nervously as he noticed that there was a blood vessel forming above Peach's brow.
"Continuing on…" Lucas said. "Fine, I'll get a better question if it pleases the critics. What do you hate most about the character sitting to your right?"
Marth turned and flinched when he caught sight of Pit, blankly staring at him with a look that dared the prince to say what was on his mind.
"Um, I-I don't hate anything about him." Marth stammered.
R.O.B's lie detector went off. "Actually, there are multiple qualities that you despise in him. You hate sitting next to him during meals because his feathers always get in your food. You can't stand the fact that he reminds you of Roy, who kept annoying you during the Melee days. You never really got over the time when he unknowingly flirted with your girlfriend when she was visiting. You think his flying is a cheap way to save himself from falling off the barrier. And that leads to the last thing: you do not like his wings. You think they're too big and distracting whenever you have a team battle."
Pit immediately stood up. "What about my wings, tiara boy?"
"It's not a tiara, for the last motherf-" the kids were required to cover their ears at this. "-king time!" Marth shouted. "Dammit, R.O.B! Pit, look…"
"Bite me, princess!"
"Okay, I'm not being reasonable anymore. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"
Marth drew Falchion and Pit held his blades, ready to attack. While they began their brawl, Ike attempted to intervene which only tore open the dress's rip right open. That was the last straw for Peach. She jumped on his shoulders and held him in a chokehold. Fox took out his blaster and Mario readied a fireball; this could only end well. Link limped through the doorway covered in bleeding cuts and swollen bruises, but his eyes burned with rage when he saw his doppelganger.
"YOU!" Link shouted as he tackled Toons.
"Popo, before this gets out of hand, truth or dare?" Samus quickly asked.
"DARE!" Popo yelped as he barely dodged a laser, courtesy of Fox.
Samus grinned and held up a spoon and container of cinnamon. "Cinnamon Challenge."
"Here, Pikachu." Master Hand cooed in the darkness. "Pikachu, where are you? No, really, where is that little rat?"
"He's a mouse Pokémon, thank you very much." Red muttered.
Master Hand shook his thumb, his own way of shaking his head. Suddenly, he heard tiny scampering of feet across the wooden surface. He was sure that there was a yellow flash accompanying the sound.
"There he is!" Master Hand bellowed. "Catch him, Red!"
"Ivysaur, I choose you!" Red tossed his pokeball, releasing Ivysaur.
Just as the two Pokémon were about to duel it out, a loud crash came from upstairs.
"What the-?" Master Hand released a distressed sigh. "Ugh, I leave them alone for ten minutes and they're already destroying the place. Red, I'll leave the Pokémon battle to you."
Master Hand grumbled to himself as he floated up the stairs to the den. "I swear, when I get my fingers on those smashers, I'll…Good God above."
Master Hand just froze when he came across the unfolding scene. It was total chaos. The Mario Bros. and the Starfox team were shooting fireballs and lasers at each other, while Bowser and Wolf just watched with entertainment. Link and Toons were wrestling each other, grabbing at hair, and tearing their clothes. Peach was clawing the living daylights out of Ike, whom was trying, but failing to pull the enraged princess off his shoulders. Marth and Pit had cast aside their weapons for some good, old-fashioned fist fighting; Marth was getting paler from blood loss and Pit was crossing his legs tightly, like he had to use the restroom or something. Popo was lying in a fetal position, grasping his stomach and coughing up clouds of brown dust. Not too far away from him was Kirby, who was nonchalantly pouring the spice down his throat as if it wasn't a big deal. Nana and King Dedede were fencing with their hammers; Samus was watching Snake and Captain Falcon beating each other up over who was stronger; Zelda, now Sheik, was in hand-to-hand combat with Ness, arguing with him about…truth? Master Hand scoffed. He had seen enough of this. He snapped his fingers and the entire room fell silent.
"HEY!" He shouted. "I leave you unattended to go fix a simple problem and you all go haywire? UNACCEPTABLE!"
The entire room rumbled with the high volume of his voice.
"Unbelievable, unbelievable." Master Hand was clenched into a fist. "What do y'all have to say for yourselves?"
At that moment, there was a click and the sound of energy radiated through the entire mansion. Soon, all of the lights, electronics, and air conditioning was back on.
"Hey, the power's back." Popo observed, earning a "you don't say" look from the other smashers.
Master Hand sighed. "Good job, Red. I'll fix this later, just try not to cause anymore trouble."
With his maniacal laugh, he disappeared to another part of the mansion.
"So I guess we're just going to do our usual thing?" Fox asked. Everyone nodded in agreement until Ness spoke up.
"Wait, one more round. Captain Falcon, truth or dare?"
"…dare."
"Those smashers are crazy." Master Hand was talking to himself as he shuffled up some of his paperwork. "Honestly, why does it all come down to fighting? Maybe it'd be best if they didn't interact with each other. One person says something and soon the entire crowd is in a riot. I just don't understand it. Ah, well at least things are a little calmer now."
"I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR! ROAARRR!" Captain Falcon's voice rang out from outside, snapping Master Hand from his thoughts. "OH, OH NO. THIS ISN'T GOOD! SHI- WAAAHHHH!"
A part of the roof began to crumble and Master Hand looked out the window to see Captain Falcon in a tattered dress that looked like Peach's, plummeting to the ground. Master Hand growled in annoyance. Nintendo was NOT going to be happy that this year's budget will be going towards reparations for the mansion. Only the smashers could figure out some way to make heavy damages that not even Master Hand's powers could fix.
The-End
A/N Okay, admit it. This isn't what you were expecting. Trolololol, jk. Sorry for any OOCness, character bashing, or just anything stupid. I wrote the last part late at night and in fifteen minutes. On a sidenote, I am strongly headed towards writing a sequel for this, and though I am considering OCs, it will most likely not happen. I am kind of tired of seeing all the Mary Sues on here. But if I do decide to go along with the OC idea, I will only choose one. Yes, that's right, just ONE. But he/she/it will only get in if I like them. If I don't like any of the entries, then I'll forget about the idea and just keep the canon characters (Hint: I'm looking for an OC that does not give off the Mary Sue vibe. Oh, and there's no limit on how many OC entries a user can submit). Hope you enjoyed. Smash Bros belongs to Nintendo by the way. Flamers can just keep having a different opinion for all I care :P
