I told you on the day we wed So if the ties that bind ever do come loose Put me in the ground "Here lies the girl whose only crutch
I was gonna love you 'til I's dead
Made you wait 'til our wedding night
That's the first and the last time I'll wear white
Tie 'em in a knot like a hangman's noose
Cause I'll go to heaven or I'll go to hell
Before I'll see you with someone else
Put me six foot down
And let the stone say:
Was loving one man just a little too much"
If you go before I do
I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two
Jason's funeral had only just ended and Sam sighed as she stood graveside, shielding their infant son's face from the wind, the misting rain. The rest of the town could say whatever the hell it was that they wanted to say, but she knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt, down to her bones, with every fiber in her being..
Jason was NOT dead. Jason was alive, he was still out there somewhere. Her mother and her sisters, Jason's family members didn't understand why she kept searching, why she kept insisting he wasn't dead, he couldn't be.
And if it killed her, she was going to find him. Their son needed his father, she needed her rock and her only love, the light in her dark times. So far, since she'd been looking and digging, she'd found nothing. But then again, the divers, they hadn't found a body, and if there wasn't a body, well..
Then there might not be a death.
She sighed as her sister Molly tugged on her hand and said "Come on Sam.. Danny's already sick, you've been sick, you don't really need to stand here in the rain all night."
"I told the gravedigger he should have dug two." she muttered quietly to herself as she turned, followed her mother and her sisters out of the graveyard.
She'd gotten just outside the gate when she turned because she heard a twig break as if someone were walking where she'd just left. When she turned around, she saw nobody, so she put it off to overactive imagination.
"Are you sure you want to go back to the penthouse?" Alexis asked the oldest of her children. Sam nodded and said "I have to, Mom, what if he's.."
"Sam, he's gone, sweetie."
"He's not gone, mother. Give me my keys, I'll drive home myself." Sam said as she stormed away with her keys in hand, fastening her son into the car seat.
Alexis sighed as she watched her oldest child jogging away, wishing there were something she could do to ease the pain.
Little did any of them realize, Sam was right.. Jason was still out there, alive.. And just now, in the graveyard, had Sam turned around just a fraction sooner, she'd have had her thoughts confirmed.
Jason stood in the doorway of the crypt they'd just put his coffin in, sighed to himself as he raked his hand through his hair, reminded himself why all of this was necessary, how much danger Sam and Danny were in if he came back right now, before he'd taken out the man trying to take down Sonny's organization, take down everyone connected to Sonny or Jason.
"Damn it, why does it have to be this way." he wondered aloud, sighing as he turned the collar up on his leather jacket, having second and third thoughts already, about his having agreed to help Anna Devaine catch this person she was after before they hurt a lot of people in Port Charles.
He only knew two things right now, and those were a – he fully intended to draw first blood, because the night he'd been 'shot' as part of his cover, someone had actually tried to kill him and two – he hated seeing Sam cry.. he'd seen her crying just now, it was already killing him.
"This has to happen for her own good. If I stay, she and Danny are a target. The only way to change that, fix it, is to take out this person before they do something, take us all down."
Well, So put me in the ground "Here lies the girl whose only crutch Dig two I took your name when I took those vows If the ties that bind ever do come loose
It won't be whiskey, won't be meth
It'll be your name on my last breath
If divorce or death ever do us part
The coroner will call it a broken heart
Put me six foot down
And let the stone say:
Was loving one man just a little too much"
If you go before I do
I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two
Ooh, ooh
I meant 'em back then and I mean 'em right now,
Oh, right now
If "forever" ever ends for you
If that ring gets a little too tight
You might as well read me my last rites
Back in their apartment, Sam stood in front of their shared closet, holding Danny, one of Jason's large black shirts practically draping her as she let the tears flow, dug around in the closet for the box of memories, the things she regretted in life, things she'd done that she wished she could undo, pictures, letters.. Basically, the box was everything that made her who she was right now, this second. She looked down at the wedding band on her hand, bit her lower lip.
"Jason, I wish you were here right now.. If you're out there, babe, please.. Come back to me." she said as she slipped the wedding band that'd been on his finger until a few days ago, when this nightmare all started for her, down into the box.
She lie on the bed, her son beside her, her nose buried in his t shirt. How long until the cologne faded? How long until she couldn't remember his smirk, his laugh, the way his hand always found the small of her back in a crowded room when he knew she was a little more than nervous.
Danny snored lightly, so she got up, put him softly into the crib a few feet away from her bed, before looking through the box of her life, her memories.
Then she finally tried to get some sleep. And when sleep finally came to her, she dreamt of Jason, of a daughter she never got to hold or touch, talk to.
Had Lila lived, she'd have been 19 today. Would she have been a 'daddy's girl?'
She dreamt of a life where she had both Jason and her daughter back here, with her.
But could that dream be about to become a reality?
A FEW NOTES FROM THE WRITER
Okay, so this song Better Dig Two, by the Band Perry inspired the story.. So I wrote the first chapter around the lyrics to it. If you haven't heard it, go listen now, it's this amazing and haunting, gritty song, if you really try, you can sort of picture Sam's struggle with grief having just lost Jason, as you read the story.
That being said, I have made a lot of changes. The biggest of them is that Lila was Jason's, not Sonny's. Jason and Sam have been together for a lot longer in my fic than they have on the show, I'm saying maybe since high school, before his wreck. All of that will come out in the story, because his wreck then and Lila's supposed death are a big part of the background for this story.. Most of that will be in flashbacks, stuff like that.
Yes, Lila will be an original character and yes, she will be paired.. As of right now, looking into either Johnny or someone else, I'm sort of contemplating maybe bringing back a guy from the past.
Lila is 19, she's been soarsed and yes, I realize she's a good deal younger than Johnny or Spinelli, the others.
COMPLETELY SKIPPING THE TMK LINE & THE DEATHS THAT HAVE OCCURED BECAUSE OF THAT. BEFORE ANYONE ASKS ME OR SOMETHING.
MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE FOLLOWING THE CURRENT PLOT WHILE ALSO HAVING MY OWN TWISTS.
Review if you like it so far, I'll work on uploading the rest as it comes.. This came on while I was watching GH today, on my Itunes, and the yen to write it down struck. I'm posting it, but I'm honestly not sure if you guys will like it or not, or if it's even any good.