Bluebell
Primula and Drogo Baggins had just welcomed a new edition to their family; Bluebell Baggins. Her older brother, Frodo, couldn't help but feel jealous. He couldn't remember the last time his home in Buckland had been even remotely quiet, or when his parents had paid much attention to him. Bluebell had only been home for a day and a half and Frodo already hated her. "I never thought that I would ever hate someone in all my eight years," he thought to himself that night.
'I wonder what's wrong with him,' Primula had said quietly as Bluebell had started to finally quiet down.
'It's probably jealousy,' Drogo answered. 'The doctor said that it might happen, but that he would grow out of it soon enough. I'll go check on him,' and with that Drogo left his wife and new born child to go and check on Frodo.
Drogo knocked on Frodo's door and opened it quietly. There was Frodo in tears and sitting up straight in his bed. 'Frodo, what ever is the matter?' Drogo sat down on Frodo's bed and pulled the young child into his chest and comforted him. Frodo couldn't keep his tears from falling when only a few moments ago they had been silently dribbling down his face.
He eventually stopped and he looked at his father. 'Do you love me, Da?'
Drogo was taken aback and he had no idea what was running through Frodo's three year old mind. 'Of course I do, Frodo-lad. What's wrong?' Drogo was worried. Never had he seen his son cry like this.
'Does Ma love me?' Frodo had a sincere questioning look on his face. He wasn't being stupid or funny he was genuinely asking if his parents loved him.
'Of course she does, we both do, and little Bluebell as well. Frodo what's wrong?' But Frodo didn't answer. How was he supposed to tell his father that he hated his sister? He simply pretended to have fallen asleep. Drogo gently laid the young lad on his pillow and pulled up the covers. He kissed Frodo's head and then left the room.
Drogo went and sat down again next to his wife. Primula was fast asleep and Bluebell was whimpering quietly. Drogo took the small infant in his arms but he couldn't have made a bigger mistake. Bluebell started to cry and scream uncontrollably and it woke up Primula with a start. She was so tired and stressed about Bluebell. 'Frodo was never this bad. I don't recall the lad ever crying. Bluebell won't stop. Are babies supposed to cry this much?'
Drogo didn't answer. At length he took the small wailing child and told Primula to go to bed. 'I'll send a message to the doctor first thing in the morning,' he said. Primula went to bed and fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.
The next day Drogo woke to Bluebell shivering and coughing uncontrollably. He was startled that he hadn't heard this. He quickly jumped up and took her in his arms and wrapped a few blankets around her. She was shivering violently so Drogo took her over to the fireplace hoping for Primula to awake and help him. Thankfully she did and she saw the state of her child and took Bluebell from Drogo and told him to go and fetch the doctor.
Drogo was out of the door within a few seconds and Frodo emerged from his bedroom sleepily. 'Ma what's happening? I heard some banging,' Frodo said sleepily.
'He has gone to fetch the doctor,' Primula said stressed and rather harshly. Frodo was taken aback by her tone and backed away. Primula had seen her wrong suddenly and motioned for Frodo to go to her.
Frodo moved to his mother a little warily. He soon got his confidence and walked to his mother and grabbed her dress and held it tightly. 'Can I hold her?' He asked with a gleam in his eye.
'Of course you can, Frodo. Just sit down over there and I will put Bluebell in your arms.' Frodo sat down on the chair, making sure that he was comfortable enough to sit in the same position for a while when he was holding Bluebell. Just as Primula was about to hand the young infant to Frodo Drogo and the Doctor burst into the room.
Frodo was still sitting on the chair for the next five minutes waiting for Primula to hand Bluebell to him. Unfortunately, she never did. The three adults went into one of the back bedrooms as they started to discuss Bluebell and her symptoms. Frodo was left alone and helpless. He wondered how in just a day he could go from hating someone to wanting to play with the very same person the next day. Frodo was nervously fingering his buttons on his tunic when Drogo and the Doctor came out again. Drogo said goodbye to the doctor and turned around after the door had closed. He had teary eyes. Frodo was about to ask him what was wrong and if he could hold Bluebell when Drogo walked off again to the back bedroom again. Frodo heard the door close and he sighed.
He was left alone again for another half an hour when after listening to some indistinct mumbling he decided to go and find his parents. He got off of the chair that he was sitting on and slowly walked down to the back bedroom.
The walk seemed to take forever. It was as if Frodo felt he was getting further and further from the bedroom at the end of the hall. It was like it took years to get there but eventually he did. Frodo was dreading it. His heart was thumping loudly in his ears. He opened the door but he wished that he hadn't. He found Primula and Drogo huddled together holding Bluebell and crying. He felt sort of left out. Drogo spotted him and gestured for Frodo to go to them but instead Frodo fled the scene.
He ran and ran and ran. He wasn't sure where he was going or what he was doing all he know was that he had to get out of that place and go somewhere my himself. Unfortunately he could hear Drogo coming up quickly behind him. Soon the older Hobbit scooped Frodo up and tried to get him to stop squirming. Frodo was beating on Drogo's chest hard to get him to stop holding him. Soon Drogo was out of breath and he dropped Frodo as he tripped over a root in the field. Frodo ran but this time he knew where he had to go; to Brandyhall. Merry was there. Frodo needed his cousin and a good campout for a while until he cooled down.
Drogo watched his son run off and disappear. He didn't know how to feel. 'I don't know what's wrong with him,' Drogo thought to himself as he slowly walked back to Primula and Bluebell with tears stinging his eyes and hands in his pockets. How was he going to tell Primula that Frodo had run off? This was unwanted and unneeded stress.
He got back to his home and looked at Primula and burst into tears. Primula did too. She thought she had lost her son. The one person that was generally there for her had been hurt so much to run away. What was she to do? 'Do you know where he went to?' Primula asked Drogo when her sobbing finally started to subside.
'I'm not sure, Prim, I really do not know. He might have gone to Brandy hall, though. He was headed that way at least. Merry's there so he won't be alone. Tell you what, I'll go tomorrow and see if he's there. I don't think right now is the best time to go and persuade him to come home. We need to wait for Frodo to cool down.'
Frodo ran to Brandy hall. Everyone was bewildered and rather confused to see him there, especially Esme. 'Frodo what are y—'but she never finished. Frodo cut her off asking hurriedly and tearfully asking for Merry. Esme was in a fluster. What was Frodo doing here, in tears and with no parents around?
Before Esme had even finished answering Frodo's question, the lad ran off down the hall and out of sight. Frodo ran and looked in every open door there was until he bumped into something. Frodo fell to the floor and looking up with his teary eyes he saw Merry looking at him rather taken aback with his cousin's sudden appearance. 'Frodo what are you doing here?' Merry said when he had come to his senses and had realized what had happened.
Frodo simply got up with tears still streaming down his face and hugged his cousin tightly, nearly winding Merry with the sudden tightness.
The next day Drogo got up early in the morning, before the sun had even risen, to go and check if Frodo had gone to Brandy hall. Drogo kissed Primula and Bluebell, took his warmest cloak and went in search of his son. Drogo's heart would break if Frodo wasn't at Brandyhall.
The walk took forever. Drogo was hoping to get to Brandyhall by about lunchtime but at this rate it didn't seem possible so he quickened his pace. Soon Brandyhall came into sight and Drogo walked faster than ever to the front gates and he knocked on the door.
Saradoc answered the door looking relieved. 'I'm glad you're here, Drogo. What's happened? We found Frodo here in tears. Is everything all right back at home?' Saradoc pulled Drogo inside and closed the door. The two Hobbits walked down a hall where Saradoc opened a dark brown door to find Merry and Frodo sitting on a bed and talking lightly.
Frodo turned around to see who it was that had walked into the room but turned back around when he saw that it was Drogo. Saradoc motioned for Merry to come with him out of the room. Merry followed sadly. He still had no idea what was wrong with Frodo. Saradoc closed the door and Drogo moved closer to Frodo and sat on the bed next to him. Frodo deliberately moved away onto another bed and faced the other way.
'Frodo,' Drogo started. His voice was almost like a frogs croak. Frodo's behavior was terribly sad to Drogo and he didn't even know what it was that was wrong with Frodo.
'Frodo, what's wrong?' Drogo managed to get out.
'You lied to me, Da,' Frodo said coldly without even turning around. Tears were starting to sting his eyes again but he wanted to sound tough so he didn't move.
Drogo was taken back. He didn't remember ever lying to Frodo in his life. What was Frodo talking about? 'Frodo, I'm sorry but you're going to have to tell me how it is that I have lied to you, I don't really remember.'
Frodo got a sudden furious rage surge through him and he whipped around and screeched. 'You told me that you and Ma loved me. But you don't do you? I saw you with Bluebell. I saw you hugging her and leaving me alone to myself. You could have asked me if I wanted to join in. I walked in on you in a "family moment", I guess. Well I'm staying here now, you can go back to your family,' and with that Frodo turned around and hunched over with folded arms. Tears were streaming down his face.
Drogo said nothing more. He got up trying to blink away his tears. He kissed Frodo's brown curls but Frodo just shook him off. Drogo left then and there; back home to Primula and Bluebell. He would come again tomorrow and try again with Frodo. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.
The next day Drogo was very nervous about seeing Frodo after all he had said. Would his child want to come back to live with him? These sorts of questions kept running around and around in Drogo's head. He soon left and the Buckland home was left to Bluebell and Primula once again.
Primula was getting more worried as the days went by. Frodo had run off and by the sounds of things Bluebell's cough was getting worse and worse. Primula was starting to wonder if Bluebell would stop coughing and get better soon. The small infant had only been alive for about two weeks and she had never known comfort. She was thinking about getting Drogo to come back and get the doctor again when Bluebell started to cough and heave madly.
Primula made a dash for the door and started to scream Drogo's name out frantically. Just when she thought that there was no hope of Drogo coming back, Primula saw a small figure coming increasingly closer. It was Drogo. He had heard Primula's call. When he finally reached the door he was heaving.
'What is it, Prim?' He managed to ask in between heaves and gasps for air.
'It's Bluebell. I need you to go and fetch the doctor again. I think there may be something wrong with her. Can you please go and fetch him?'
'Of course I can, Prim. I'll tell him to come here, I still have to go and get poor Frodo. I will be as quick as my legs will carry me,' Drogo kissed his wife and child good bye and hurried off into the distance.
Drogo reached the doctor's fairly quickly and he told the first doctor he saw to go and check on his daughter. He gave the doctor the address to their home of course and then he went straight to Buckland.
What happened when Drogo got to Brandyhall wasn't something he was intending to happen. Frodo came out running to him almost bowling Drogo off his feet. When Drogo came to his senses he realized that Frodo was hugging him tightly with tear stains down his face. 'I'm so sorry, Da. I'm so sorry! Will you ever forgive me?' The child kept wailing.
'Of course I will, Frodo,' Drogo said, slightly startled at Frodo's sudden change of attitude. Drogo got down onto one knee and looked deep into Frodo's big blue, but sad, eyes and said 'Frodo, is there any chance of you coming back home now? We all miss you, especially your mother.'
'Of course I will, Da,' Frodo wiped his eyes and a huge grin appeared on his face. 'I have to go and say goodbye to Merry. I will be back soon,' and with that Frodo bounded back inside Brandyhall nearly knocking over Esme who had come outside to see what Frodo had run off for.
'Oh, hello, Drogo, how are you?' She asked.
'I'm very well now that Frodo is coming home with me this time. Primula has been so worried about him. And by the sounds of things little Bluebell is getting sick. She can't seem to stop coughing,' Drogo said trying to stop the tears that had suddenly come.
Esme took Drogo's hand and squeezed it gently. 'I have just made some cup cakes for the little ones but I'm sure they won't notice if you take them with you. I'm sure Primula will be happy with them and while Frodo was here I did notice that he often had one in his hands,' she laughed but soon stopped. This wasn't really a time for jokes when one's child's health was at stake.
Soon Frodo appeared again with Merry.
'It's wonderful to see you again Mr. Baggins,' Merry said politely with a small bow.
Frodo hugged his cousin good bye. 'I'll see you again soon Merry,' He whispered into Merry's ear. Merry always got emotional when Frodo was going home or he was going back to Buckland.
When Frodo and Drogo finally got back to their Buckland home all was quiet and rather unsettling. For Drogo anyway, knowing how sick Bluebell was getting and how stressed Primula was. Frodo was happy to be home but he soon wondered where his mother was. And he supposed that he should wonder where Bluebell was too. 'Da, where is Ma?' He asked finally.
'I'm not sure, Frodo. Lets go and have a look,' and with that the two Hobbits went in search of the Primula and Bluebell.
Frodo was the one to find them but he didn't call out to say that he had found them. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to. The scene in which he had stepped into had taken him rather by surprise. He had decided to check the guest bedroom. For some reason it had seemed like a good idea at the time. The room was dim and Frodo could see Primula sitting in a chair and bent over a small cot but Frodo couldn't see what was in it.
He walked closer to where Primula was sitting and realized that she was asleep. Frodo wasn't sure if he should wake her so he decided to have a look at what was in the cot. It was Bluebell. Frodo thought that the small infant looked rather peaceful in her small cot, wrapped in blankets. Frodo even noticed that he was smiling with absolute happiness. He was awestruck; something that he had never experienced before.
Suddenly Bluebell started coughing loudly and Primula woke up startled. Without thinking she pushed Frodo away from the child and picked up Bluebell to try and comfort her. Frodo had been knocked to the ground and he had hit his elbow on the small dresser that was next to the bed. He couldn't help but start to cry with the sudden pain that was expelling from his elbow.
Primula realizing what she had done and who it was that she had knocked over gave a startled wail and she wrenched Frodo up into her arms unable to control her tears any longer. Frodo felt as though the life of his body was being squeezed out of him from the force of Primula's hug.
'Don't you ever run away again like that again, Frodo. Do you realize how worried I've been?' Primula kept saying. She was stroking Frodo's curls and then put him down again, returning her attention to Bluebell.
Drogo rushed in hearing the coughing and the thud. Frodo was looking at his mother bemusedly. What was going on?
Drogo came and put his arm on Frodo's shoulder. 'You have to understand, lad, Bluebell's been sick, you see and while you have been gone it's been getting worse and worse and your mother is very worried.'
Frodo suddenly understood everything that had been happening before he had run off. He now understood why he had been often left by himself and why he hadn't been paid much attention. His sister was sick. Frodo now realized that what he had been feeling was jealousy. He was jealous because he didn't always have his parent's attention anymore. He realized now that he loved his sister with all his heart. Frodo didn't do anything except watch his mother try to calm Bluebell down.
'Where have you been?' Primula asked in a hoarse whisper after she had closed Bluebell's door for the child had gone to sleep. Primula was absolutely delighted to have her son back but she was also a little worried as to why he had run off in the first place.
'I—I went to Buckland,' Frodo stammered. He didn't know what his mother might do at this point but he was relieved when Primula smiled and hugged Frodo tightly.
That night, when Frodo had gone to bed and Primula and Drogo were able to have some time alone while Bluebell slept in an uneasy slumber, Primula told Drogo what was to happen with their new born child.
'What did the doctor say?' Drogo asked holding Primula's hands firmly as they sat on the edge of the bed together.
'Drogo the doctor said something dreadful,' Primula started to cry now. 'He said that Bluebell was going to die. That she has Hypothermia and there is nothing they can do to help her. We just have to make her last few days happy,' Primula bowed her head and let her tears flow feely.
'Well that is terribly news,' Drogo said finally after thinking for a moment. 'We need to make sure that Frodo spends some time with her,' He said at length.
'Of course we must. He hasn't seen a whole lot of her,' Primula said with a sniff.
After a while they could hear Bluebell starting to cry and cough again. Primula went to go to her but Drogo stood in her way. 'No I will go and tend to Bluebell; you need rest, my dear and lots of it. You go to bed and I'll be in when I can,' Drogo gave Primula a small kiss on the cheek before heading off to the guest bedroom and tending to Bluebell.
The next day was rather interesting for Frodo. Despite all the noise and the racket that had been going on down the hall, Frodo slept peacefully. He got up early to find Drogo and Primula sitting by the fire talking to each other quietly. In Prim's arms was Bluebell. She was sound asleep.
Frodo sat silently on the small rocking chair by the hearth, watching his parents and sister intently. Primula noticed him and walked slowly to him and bent down to Frodo's eye level. 'Would you like to hold her, Frodo?'
Frodo felt suddenly wary. Primula had done this before and then a whole lot of drama happened and he wasn't able to hold her. Would this time be the same or would Frodo actually get to hold his baby sister?
'Yes, Ma,' Frodo said quietly so as to not wake up Bluebell.
Primula gently put Bluebell into Frodo's arms making sure that he was back far enough in the seat and so that he wouldn't get uncomfortable too quickly.
Frodo was, even though he didn't know the correct weight, rather worried as to how thin and small Bluebell felt in his arms. He looked up at his mother questioningly but Primula didn't ask what was wrong. She was silently crying and Frodo was wondering what was going on.
Drogo pulled Primula into the next room and made sure that they were out of ear shot. 'When did the doctor say that Bluebell was to die?'
'He said sometime today at the latest,' Primula said shakily.
'We must tell Frodo,' Drogo said sternly but ever so sadly.
'Yes we must, I know that, Drogo. It's just I can't seem to bring myself to break his heart after everything that has happened over the last few days. I feel—I fell helpless, Drogo, like I can no longer do anything,' Primula had finally burst. The stress of Frodo and the sadness of Bluebell had finally taken its toll on her and she couldn't cope anymore. She flung herself into Drogo's arms and burst into tears.
'Mama, Mama,' Drogo and Primula heard Frodo calling to them frantically. They both looked at each other and fled the room to where Frodo was seated with Bluebell.
'Did I do something? She isn't moving,' Frodo said, worried and confused.
Bluebell had finally passed away.
Primula was speechless. They hadn't spoken to Frodo yet about the fate of his little sister and there it was. It had been planted right in the middle of Frodo's arms and the poor child had no idea what was going on. Drogo took Bluebell from Frodo's arms and took her into a room up the other end of their hole.
'Mama, what happened?' Frodo asked sadly.
Primula walked slowly to Frodo and sat down and pulled him onto her lap.
'Frodo—Frodo sometimes things happen that we can't change. Sometimes they're good things and other times they're bad things. Bluebell has—has passed away,' Frodo had heard this word before but he didn't quite understand what it meant, though he had a pretty good idea.
'Bluebell is—is dead?' He said the last word very quietly and almost as if something else bad were to happen if he said it too loudly.
'I'm afraid so, Frodo. I'm afraid so. It's just one of those things that happen in life. It's rare but it isn't unheard of. I'm so sorry for you, darling. Your father and I never meant for you to find out like this,' Frodo didn't say anything he just leant against his mother's chest listening to her heart beat and he closed his eyes.