Chapter 1 (history) (1):
Monday Mornings
(Eric Cartmans perspective)
Hello Guys, this is going to be an Kyman (KylexCartman) Story, this is my first fanfiction, I hope you will enjoy it. Hint: The first three chapters are the history of the story.
The first thing I realize, as I open my eyes, is the sunlight, which shines brightly trough my window. I slowly turn my body to the left, where a small brown bedside table is placed, on which is nothing except a red alarm clock. When I look at it, I notice, that it´s already 7:30 a.m. Shit, Why did´nt it rang? This fucking thing works never, for what do I have an alarm clock, when it doesn´t work? What if I had overslept? Anyhow, I am in a hurry now. So I force me to get up of my bed, put on my blue carpet slippers and go to the bathroom. As I stand in front of the washbasin, washing my face with cold wather, the mirror makes me realize, that I look fucking good today! "Mirrow Mirrow on the wall, who is the most beautiful person throughout South Park?" With my wooden comb, I brush my good looking hair, which ensures, that I look even better, as anyway.
I walk up back to my room, to undress my body and put on a white shirt and a blue jeans. A pleasing aroma, that smells like fried bacon makes me descending the stairs. While I go down the stairs, I can see My mum, who is already sitting on the dining table. "Good Morning honey!" she says, in a cute voice. "Morning Mum!" I say, and I swear she could here the tiered tone of my voice. I sit myself down and begin eating, savoring the taste with every bite. My mum cooks like a god, really. But she can not only cook perfectly, she´s also the best mum in the world! She gives me warmth, insight and all the love she has. Because my mum is a skank, she doese not earn much money, so we have to economize. That sucks! Especially, when I hear Stan or Kyle say "What? You have no Smart Phone? Every one has one! " Or " What? You have really no Wii U?"
It pisses me fucking off! The only one, who also has no Smart Phone, or Wii U or this or that, is Kenny. Kenny is my best friend, somehow he is significant for me, also when I don´t show it so much. Sometimes I talk with him about my problems, but not always, some things I couldn´t even tell him. Stan and Kyle are my friends too, ok not really, but, I often waste my time with them. Why? Actually I don´t know, I mine they are fucking pricks, particulary Kyle, because he´s a fucking jew, but someway I hang out with them , since I am five. They have always something to complain, especially Kyle, because I love it, to tease him. The reson, why I tease him so often is, that he, when I make him mad, looks funny and cute at the same time. His face is always very flushed and he goes really crazy. I always laugh my ass off, by reason of him. Besides it´s just his fault, that I treat him bad, cause first he´s a jew and second he gets always mad. If he wouldn´t get mad, it would not even make half as much fun. "sweetheart, you have to get ready for school!" I hear my mum telling me, riping me out of my imagination. "Ok", I say in a hushed voice, stand up and go to the sink, to clean off my plate and cup. Wait a moment why do I clean off? Normally my mum should do that! Fuck it all, now I have already started.
After doing this, I put on my shoes and get off the house. Fortunately, the bus stop, is not far away from my home. After one minute, I can just about see my friends, standing by the stop. There appearance is, like ever, Kenny with his dirty orange Jacket and his hood, Stan and Kyle with their stupid hats. Honestly, why are they always wearing hats? It is not even winter! As I stand next to them I say "Hey dudes" Kenny and Stan are standing there with a bored mood, Kyle looks, totally motivated. "If I were you Kyle, I would sometimes clean my vagina, cause the sand in it doesn´t go away by itself" I say with a big grin on my face. Kyle looks at me damn angry, his face flushed "Shut your fucking mouth Cartman!" he yells, but his shout only makes my grin wider. After some seconds Kenny turns his face to Stan "Stan please give me your smartphone, I have to look for some bristols pictures in the internet!" Kenny asks polited, his hands outstretched, Stan falters and I think, he doese`nt know, what to do."Stan you fucking idiot, hand him the smartphone, where do you waiting for? You know, he only needs it for the bus trip." I say with an angry voice. Yes it makes me angry, when Stan or Kyle falter, to give Kenny, or me their smartphone, cause they have more money, then we have, they have a family, they have everything, we are even friends (maybe) and then they FALTER, to give us their fucking phone, for fucking five minutes.
Why did I stand up for him at all? Whatever, calm down Eric, calm down. "Shut up fatass!I already had given him the smartphone, don´t make me gulity." He hands Kenny the Smartphone, who thanks him and then suddely a smile covers his face. The bus arrives. We get in, I sit, as always, next to Kenny, of course are Stan and Kyle sitting side by side. "Wooow look at this Cartman!" Kenny shows me a picture of boobs, big ones, which normally doesn't concern me. Nevertheless wos I starring at it for certainly one minute. Kenny started loughing, as he trys to bring me back to reality, and I don´t reakt. My head becomes hot, and I think, that my face wos flushed,when I realized, that I had been absorved in that pic. Thats fucking embarassing. Really I don´t know why I acted like this, normally a pic of boobs wouldn´t take my whole attention. Kenny stares at me with a grin on his face." I think that was to much for you" I, still, having a warm feeling in my cheeks, answer in a confused voice: " yes I think so..er have you seen the new Terrance and Phillip episode?" Kenny, still grinning,says"Yes it wos hella funny!" I nod, and it wos quiet for the last 2 minutes of the bus drive. When we get off the bus, I could see Butters, who probably got out first. He runs to me with a big smilie on his face. Is he crazy? I don´t want him to run towards me, he should stop that, it´s kinda scary. As the blond boy reached me, he gives me a big hug " Hey Eric" I struggle from his hold on me, and cause him to fall to the floor. I use the time and begin running to the school.
As I reach the school door, I pant, turn my head over, just to see, if Butters did´nt get up and followed me , and go in. Stan and Kenny are already sitting in the class room, all three glancing at me, while I achieve it. I lay my schoolbag on the floor and sit down next to Kenny, who snickers a little bit "are you escape from Butters?" he asks "Yes and I´m really glad about it" I answer, still panting. Suddenly Mrs Trina, our maths teacher, asks a question: "How can I write 1 in a fraction?" Kyle snaps with his finger and moves his body, as if he needs to go to the bathroom desperately. We all already know, that he´s fucking smart, why can´t this piece of shit, just let an other person have the satisfaction, to know something? Thinking this is a perfect situation to make Kyle mad, I could´nt keep me silent and cry(after I had looked for the answer in the book), the answer out. "very good Eric!But the next time, please put your hand up, before you say the answer" Mrs Trina says suprised, I think, duo to my intelligence.
Kyles face gets fucking flushed, and his teeth are gritted."You fucking fatass" he yells angrily, I, grinning, answer satisfied:" oooh don´t be worry little Jew" After that, he turns his face away from me, his arms crossed . I and Kenny started laughing, thereupon Kyle gets demented, he suddenly stands up and knocks over some chairs. Why does he always overreact? Just because he couldn´t firstly demonstrate his smartness? What a stupid jew! After our teacher had admonished him, he calms down. After Kyles madness, our teacher changes the topic : "What I have to say, kids, you know on next monday we´re gonna go to Jenys City by bus and stay in the youth hostel for 5 days, has everybody paid already? Let´s have a look..", she checks the list and when I look to Kenny I see, that he shivers, not baseless, cause after a short time our teacher says a little bit shocked:"Oh Kenny, you hav´nt payed yet!"
Kennys face turns red and I know, that it is an distressing situation for him. "Yyyyeeess...wee weee", he says in a shaking voice. "Its okay Kenny, you can come to me after this lesson and tell me whats the problem" she says comforted. I face Kenny, his face still red. "We can´t perform the school trip, cause my parents ya know are fucking douchbags and always gonna spent their little money on drugs", he says. I am shocked, cause this is the first school trip in our lifes and I can´t believe it, to go there without my, well best friend. Kennys parents are really pieces of shit, cause they never concern about their kids, Kenny always told me, his little sister often crys, dou to this fools. " Your parents are really fucking douchbags Kenny!" Kenny, who puts away a streak of his blond hair, says "Shut up, You mustn´t call my parents like that!" But he´s allowed to call them that, or what? "Whatever, it won´t be as cool as with you" I say, giving him a serious glance. Kenny looks me deep in the eyes, while a slight smilie covers his face. "I think I´ll miss you, Stan and Kyle" scratching my head I answer "But I´m gonna call you every day, okay?" Kan puts a hand on my shoulder and nods.
The first lessons pasted quickly. In the break I, Kenny, Kyle and Stan are sitting on the table and talking, about everything, what´s going on. Kyle and Stan had heared about the "money problem" by Kenny and they felt very pity for him. After school I throw my school bag away and plunge myself on the couch. "Finally school is over" I say. When My mum realized, that I had just come in ,she walks up to me."Hello sweetheart, how wos your day?" she asks me, in a cute voice. I glance at her sadly and answer : "I found out, that Kenny has´nt enough money to go to the school trip" My mum stares at me with pity eyes: "I´m sorry, I know you won´t have as much fun as with him, huhm?" Yes I will, she knows me the best(sometimes): "Yes mum, but there are still Kyle and Stan..." she interrupts me: "yes, but it´s not the same, or?" I smile at her: "yes, but it´ll also be funny, I hope so" She smilies back and huges me. It is always good for me to tell my mum whats going on. I feel better after talking with my mum, most of the time.
First Chapter is done!
I hope you had fun during reading this. The story will be continued in time.
Disclaimer: South Park doese not belong to me, but to its creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone.