Carly's POV
"C'mon Sam, you're joking."
"No, I'm not. And if you don't take the blame, I'm gonna get suspended or worse, and if that happened I would be in so much trouble! You know, if I had a parent that cared."
"Sam," I whine.
"Carls please, maybe they'll just make you do community service stuff or something for your first time."
"This is not my first time taking the blame for you! And what about..."
Just then, I hear my name get called to the office and I burn Sam a look.
"Don't do anything while I'm gone."
"Yes mother." She replies sarcastically.
She shrugs and I leave. Soon I walk into Principal Franklin's office.
"Principal Franklin?"
"Sit Carly." He says warmly.
"What is this about? I'm not in trouble, am I? Because what ever Sam did she didn't mean it and she's sorry from the both of us."
"No, no. And when you see Sam, tell her she's suspended."
"Oh my gosh, really?"
"No, I'm just messing with you! What I really called you here for is so we could talk about a new program that offers mentors for teen moms."
"No thanks, I really don't think..."
"Oh no, not for you. We actually want you to be a mentor."
"Oh, I don't know."
"Why not? I hear from plenty of other peers that you're a great mom. I think it would be good for you to connect and not to mention, of you do this, I might be able to let Sam's little incident slide."
"That's nice of you but I really think Sam should learn herself and..."
"And I'll write a letter of recommendation to the college of your choice."
"Well okay, I guess. That would be great!"
"Okay, I'll bring her on Monday around three."
"Okay, thanks Principal Franklin."
I get up to leave and he smirks.
"Oh and Carly, tell Sam I'd like to talk."
"Okay,"
I hear him chuckle as I leave the office. That's how I knew he had something planned for Sam that she wouldn't like.
Sam's POV
"So he wasn't trying to trick me? I'm not in trouble?"
Carly's daughter Megan, walks over to me with her doll in her hand. She's only one, and she can't yet talk enough to tell Carly what happened last time I babysat. The new bad thing I did had distracted her from what I did last weekend to Megan's stuff.
"No, but I'm gonna make you babysit when Lance and I go out on Saturday. I'm punishing you."
"Carls,"
"No, and Monday after school too."
"Why? Haven't I learned enough from all my Tuesdays with that one therapist?"
"Obviously not because you're still doing bad things! Anyway, I have to meet up with a teen mom I'll be mentoring."
"Wait, why can't Freddie babysit?"
"Because he's at the aggressive parenting meeting with his mom! Besides, he's her dad, so he has her every other weekend anyway."
"Ughhh!"
"Just for an hour!"
"I have detention after school."
"No you don't. Don't you remember I saved your sorry butt?"
"Doesn't mean I still can't get detention! Carls, bring her with you!"
"Yeah, well tomorrow or Monday you won't."
"Uggghhh!" I shout.
Just then Megan whines then gets up from the floor, and walks into the kitchen chairs. She cries and Carly picks her up.
"See, your poor attitude is contagious." She grumbles.
Carly goes upstairs and puts Megan to bed so we can do our iCarly special. It was going to be our first iCarly since Megan was born. Carly doesn't talk to me again until I agree to babysit.
Carly's POV
In the course of a Saturday night, Sam managed to set the oven on fire, send Megan's blanket plummeting down an eight story building, and injure Gibby with a TV remote when he tried to help her.
Today, it's 3:04 pm and I'm anxiously waiting for Principal Franklin and the girl I'll be mentoring.
"Hi Carly, sorry we're late. But someone was refusing to come."
He nods to the girl next to him. She's short, with dark hair and dark eyes, and a looks fairly young, possibly only a freshman. She stared back at me and slowly her scowl became a small smile, and I got up to introduce myself.
"Oh sorry, my name's Ellie. " She says quietly, making a conscious effort to make up for the bad first impression.
"I guess I'll leave you girls alone. Good luck." He whispers the last part to me.
Ellie looks nervously around and after he's gone, plays shyly with her fingers.
"So Ellie, when is your baby due?" I ask, trying to break the ice.
"May 28." She says shortly, looking away.
"That's good, so you're like five months? Do you and the baby's dad know what you're having?"
"Um yeah, I do, but the baby's dad left when he found out I was pregnant."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Its okay, he was sorta a player. Like he always just used me for, you know..."
Ellie looks away and I hand her a tissue, then she continues.
"Yeah and my parents said if I don't put the baby up for adoption, I can't come back home after she's born. I mean, they aren't even gonna come to the hospital with me."
She starts crying and I lean over to pat her back. I feel for her because at first, I wasn't sure about telling Lance I had a daughter or how he'd react.
"Ellie, don't worry. And um, maybe I could be there with you if you wanted?"
"Would you really? I mean, we just sorta met."
"I wouldn't mind. It's not like I haven't been through the horrors of childbirth before."
She smiles.
"Okay, now I'm kinda scared."
"You'll do great, I mean, sometimes some of the best things come from pain. My friend Freddie got hit by a taco truck once and all the girls gave him attention for like a week."
She laughs and we hug. I can feel her sigh and I can tell she feels a little more confident about herself now.
"Thanks Carly." She says.
I give her my number and tell her to text or call me if she needs me. Her brown eyes gleam back at me, and I can see the years of hurt inside. I wish she would tell me more.
Ellie's POV
Let me introduce myself better. My name is Ellie, even though my grandma always used to call me Eleanor.
I'm only fifteen, even though the baby's daddy is seventeen. He and I both come from foster homes. My real mom had me when she was fourteen and my dad was put in prison because he was nineteen when he was with her.
By the time I was five, mom was already so far gone, with alcohol abuse and all that, that my grandparents took me in, and a few years later, my mom was put into a rehab center. My grandparents died when I was twelve, then I was placed in a foster home because no one in my family wanted to raise a child with a bad beginning to life, like it was my fault.
Flash forward about three years. That's where I am today. Fifteen, pregnant, and basically my foster parents warning to leave is like a nine month eviction notice. But they've been so kind already and eventually I would get kicked out when I was eighteen anyway, so I just hope they come around and let me stay my last few years here.
Sam's POV
Carly and I were sleeping in the iCarly studio, in the beanbags. Carly finally had Megan asleep and we put in a movie, but fell asleep soon after. But I wake up again when Carly's phone is ringing right next to my ear. I roll over and shake her.
"Carly wake up!" I mumble.
She rolls over and I shove her phone into her hand. Then rolling back over, I attempt to fall back asleep.
"Hello?" She mumbles lazily, weary with sleepiness.
"Is it her?" I mouth, rolling over.
"Ellie, what's wrong? " She asks, answering my question.
I roll back over and put my sweatshirt over my head. This isn't the first time in the last month that Ellie's known Carly that she's called in the middle of the night.
Carly finally hangs up and yanks the sweatshirt off my face.
"Sam, get up! Ellie thinks she's having a miscarriage and she needs me to bring her to the hospital."
"Doesn't anyone over at her house ever think of bringing her?"
"She's alone tonight. She would've come over but someone..."
"Yeah yeah, I know." I say annoyed.
Carly gets up and throws the baby monitor in my lap.
" You're babysitting. If she gets up, you will rock her back to sleep. Please do not wake her." She pleas firmly and concerned.
Freddie's POV
"Mom, there was no strange man in the dumpsters! Those were hobos."
"They're filthy and you could get diseases!" She yells worriedly.
I slam my bedroom door. It's the middle of the night and I'm again fighting with my mom about the dangers of night times.
As I am about to turn off my lights, my phone buzzes and it's Sam.
"Hey Sam,"
"Hey Freddicus."
"It's late. What could you have possibly done bad, and no, I'm not bailing you out."
"Um no. Actually you might wanna get over here. Carly's gone and the kid's crying."
"Why can't you take care of her?"
"She's not my responsibility!" She argues.
"Carly left you in charge. You're the babysitter."
"You're her dad! Now get over here. Spencer's not here either and you're my only backup up plan before I put this kid in a soundproof box."
She hangs up and I slip on my shoes. I have no choice but to help her.
"Sam?" I ask as I walk in.
"Over here Freddifries!"
She hands me Megan and I sit next to her on the couch. Sam soon falls asleep next to me and I find myself putting Megan to sleep. Again after that I look over and Sam's sleeping still, I think.
"Sam , I'm leaving. I put her in her play crib." I whisper cautiously, to see if she is really asleep.
"Freddie," She looks up wearily and grabs my arm.
"You so much as slam that door and wake her, I swear I'll mess you up!"
She yanks me toward her, harder then she must've intended because our faces are just inches apart. I can feel my heart pounding furiously through and against my chest.
"I guess, we both need sleep." She says, and lets go of my arm.
Our faces, still inches apart, don't look away or move. I can smell mint on her breath, her breathing making our tension greater. We both laugh, then next thing I know, her lips are pressed against mine, and I'm moving one hand, vigorously exploring over her while my other holds her head. It lasts about twenty seconds before either one of us pulls away.
"Um," She mutters awkwardly.
"Yeah. That was, yeah." I clear my throat and back up. We silently look around for a few moments.
"I'd better go." I say finally.
"Yeah, get out." Clearly embarrassed, she waves her hand at me.
"Goodnight."
"Yeah, whatever." She says.
Carly's POV
Walking through the front door quietly since it's still morning, I find Sam on the couch and Megan in her pack and fold crib.
"Morning pork chops." I say, shaking Sam awake.
"Where?" She asks, springing up.
"No, there's none. I'm home!"
"Hey. How's Ellie?"
"Um fine. It was just a scare, or Ellie being Ellie. But she and the baby are fine."
"That's great." She says, shifting her attention to the TV as she turns it on.
"So how did it go last night?"
"Huh?" She says quickly, but this time not as a lazy reply.
"Any little secrets?" I hint jokingly.
"No. And if there was, you couldn't prove anything!"
"C'mon on Sam, I talked to Freddie."
"That Fredbag told you?" She gets fired up.
"I don't see what the problem is. Everyone gets lonely sometimes."
"He told you I needed him to come over for company? That's all?"
"That's all? What, is there supposed to be more to him being over here? It's not like you guys... no!"
"What?"
"You didn't, fadoodle?" I wink at her.
"Carly no, that's crazy! Ew."
"Okay, I know, I know! I'm just messing with you!"
She stares at me blankly, then smiles. Then looking over to the crib, I point to Megan.
"Was she okay?"
"Yeah, but she wouldn't stop crying when she first woke up."
"Yeah, I think she's getting another tooth. So what did you do to calm her?"
She doesn't answer so I walk over to the crib and look inside. Pulling out one of Spencer's hammer's from beneath the blanket, I hold it up and gesture it toward Sam, sighing loudly.
"Sam, I told you not to! How many times do I have to tell you? Hammers are not for children, hobos, or the elderly! And why a hammer when she's getting another tooth? They're hard!"
"You have a kid and now you think you're some expert on what kids can put in their mouths or eat?!" Sam asks jokingly.
Picking Megan up and putting her to rest on my shoulder, I head upstairs to put her in toddler bed.
"My mom fed me coffee in a bottle!" She shouts after me.
As I'm climbing up the stairs I mumble something I intentionally want her to hear.
"I hope you and Freddie enjoyed each others company last night because you two are babysitting again on Monday."
Sam's POV
"Sup Fredbag." I say, as he walks past my locker.
"Hola Samosa." He exchanges.
He stands next to me, like he has something to show me or say.
"What are you smiling for, dooface?" I ask.
"Carly's so naive and oblivious to everything." He says amused.
"So is that how you got her to have your kid?" I ask, even more amusingly.
"Sam, that's not funny!"
"Yeah, she's not that oblivious." Gibby says, as he walks by.
"Wait, she talked to you, didn't she?" He asks, suddenly curious.
"Are you admitting to me that you told Carly that we kissed?"
"No, I'm saying the opposite."
"Then how does she know we... she doesn't know, does she? What did you really tell her?"
"That I enjoyed your company playing board games on Saturday night." He smiles proudly.
"I hate board games! I'm pretty sure she knows that!"
Carly then walks up and smiles at us.
"What do I know?" She asks.
"I've gotta go, my mom's outside." Freddie suddenly says nervously.
Freddie leaves and I'm left alone with Carly who is smirking at me.
"What?" I say.
"Oh my gosh!"
"What?" I ask again, getting frustrated.
"Oh nothing. Liar!" She says nonchalantly.
"What!" I ask surprised.
She looks around then hushes her voice.
"You like him." She nudges me.
"And..." I say sarcastically.
"Is or was there more happening on Saturday than just games?"
"What? I can't hear you over all this vomit coming up! "
I start walking out and Carly shouts after me.
"Sam you can't bury your feelings in denial, or ham!"
"I'm gonna try!"
She shouts after me again.
"You don't have to babysit tonight?!"
I don't even turn around as I leave the front doors but instead just wave okay.
Carly's POV
Ellie and I are sitting in Principle Franklin's office for the fifth time since we've met. She and I are joking and laughing, as Ellie holds Megan on her lap.
"Sam, really did that?" Ellie laughs.
"Yeah. But she punches harder with her left, even though she's right handed. I think they were surprised."
"Oh my gosh! I'm the total opposite; I throw things harder with my right but I'm left handed. But i've never punched anybody so..." She laughs.
"Well, Sam does have a prison record."
"Impressive." She agrees.
"Yeah, not really." I laugh, as I disagree.
Ellie moves uncomfortably, trying to support the weight of her seven month pregnancy comfortably. Megan then jumps down from her lap and sits on the floor, playing with the strings of Ellie's boots.
"You're gonna make a great mom some day , you know that? I mean, Sam has no patience to tolerate that."
I nod to Megan playing with the shoes and laugh while Ellie blushes shyly.
"I grew up in a foster home with eight other children, two older and six younger. So children aren't exactly strange."
"What's that like?" I ask.
"Oh very busy, never a dull moment."
"If you don't mind me asking,what about moving from home to home? Isn't that hard?"
"You get used to it. I mean, you never really wanna get comfortable with any foster parents because by the time you get to know them, they have you changing homes."
She looks away, and I hear her breath like there's a lump in her throat, the kind you get when you're about to cry. I reach over and grab her hands, forcing her to look up.
"I got really close with my recent foster parents. You know, before I got knocked up." She mumbles the last part quietly.
"Ellie that's terrible. You shouldn't think of this that way. Nobody " knocked you up"."
"No, it's a name they give girls or women who don't plan their pregnancies or get pregnant with from a one night stand. Face it, I'm knocked up, and the dad left me. It's pathetic!"
She sobs hard, letting go of my hands to wipe her face and push her hair behind her ears.
"How about we go after school tomorrow and talk to them. Tell them how you feel."
"I don't know."
"C'mon, that's why I'm here to be your friend and encourage you. And how hard can it be? You already told them you're pregnant. The hardest part is over."
She smiles and laughs, looking up.
"Um, what about labor?" She laughs.
"Yeah, but don't worry about that. I'll be there for you then too, but I want to be here now also."
She smiles and grabs my hand, placing it to her stomach.
"She's kicking, do you feel that?" She exclaims, smiling greatly with amusement.
"It's crazy, right?"
"Yeah." She laughs.
Spencer's POV
"Hey Spence." Carly says, as she drops her keys and bag in the chair.
"Hey, how'd it go with Ellie?"
"Good. Well, as well as expected with a hormonal seven- month pregnant fifteen year old."
"Let that be a lesson."
"Lesson for what? I already had a baby."
"Oh right. So are you going out with your boy'friend' Lance tonight?" I tease.
"Um no, he's busy, actually out of town."
"He's always gone."
"Yeah, he's been a busy boy."
Carly avoids my eyes as she nervously plays with her bag strap.
"Everything alright kiddo?"
"Y...yeah, why wouldn't it be?" She stutters nervously.
"There's nothing you wanna talk about?"
"No, I'm fine." She exclaims, unconvinced herself.
"You're not pregnant, are you?"
"No!"
"Oh thank goodness!"
"I mean Lance and I had never even done more than kiss even though just about everyone around us, even our CLOSEST friends who you trust with your baby and-"
"Carls calm down! Why are you so worked up?"
"Sam and Freddie kissed, again. And they did it the night Sam was supposed to be babysitting Megan! Freddie told me I can't tell Sam he told me because she'd kill him, and so he lied to Sam that he told me that they just played board games and helped with Megan, and I've been hinting around to Sam but she doesn't get them!"
"Carls, don't you think Sam would've told you already if she wanted you to know? I mean, you're best friends."
"Yeah I guess,but I'm still kinda hurt that I had to hear it from the father of my child, not Sam."
She grabs Megan from playing silently on the floor, and holds her hand.
"It's late. I'm gonna go do some homework after I put her to bed."
She starts to head upstairs when I see her book bag lying on on the chair. I pick it up to hand it to her and push a box that was falling out back inside.
"Um Carly, your bag."
I hand it to her, and she starts to leave but I grab her shoulder, turning her half way around.
"You sure there's nothing else you wanna talk about?"
She turns around fully, her eyes starting to tear up as she stares back at me. I clear my throat and reach for the box that is once again peering out out of her overflowing bag. Pulling it partly out, she stares back at me in horror.
"This was um, falling out." I say nonchalantly, tucking it back in as she relaxes.
"Look Spencer,I'm really stressed out and Megan and Ellie are being so needy! I know that sounds horrible and I love them both to death but I really need break." She adds.
"There's no break from being a mother or good friend. Remember that."
"Okay, thanks?" She says nervously.
She starts to head upstairs when she pauses and turns back around, skipping a step.
"Spencer," She sobs suddenly.
"I'm late." I could hear the fear in her voice as she finishes her sentence, and she throws herself against me, wrapping me in a hug, as I once again pull the pink pregnancy test box out of her bag.
Freddie's POV
"Carly, you can't be pregnant!"
"Well that's the thing Freddie! How could I possibly be pregnant when you said..."
"I know what I said! Ugh! How could you be pregnant?!"
"That's the funny thing about this Freddie! You're asking me how, when you were fully involved in my getting pregnant!"
She paces back and forth, making stressful facial expressions and gestures with her arms.
"We can't raise a child! We aren't mature enough!"
"Says the guy who talked me into it!" She snaps.
"Carly, what are we gonna do?"
"Well what can we do? Do you think or are you suggesting adoption?"
"Not really, but I don't see how we could raise a child."
"Oh gosh, what's Spencer gonna say?" She whimpers.
She starts crying and collapses herself onto the bed. Sliding over, I wrap her into a side hug and squeeze.
"Freddie, i'm too young and terrified to be a mom!" She whimpers quietly.
"Age isn't what makes us parents. We could still make this work, I guess."
"Yeah, but I don't think I could be mother material yet. And I don't really think we have the ideal money and living situation for a child. I mean, this little human inside me is gonna need on you and on me."
"We can make this work!" I reassure her.
"But how?" She demands.
"I don't know, but trust me, we're gonna love this baby."
"So could another couple, Freddie! With better housing and stability and-"
"And we could be capable of that too if you and I got jobs." I suggest.
"Freddie, I don't know. I'm scared."
"I love you." I say as she snuggles into me, tears staining her flushed face.
"Freddie? Are you there?"
Jolting from my daydream, and hearing Carly anxiously waiting, I clear my throat and mumble a "yes" after missing most of what she's said.
"Anyway, I'm stressing about Ellie's visit to the adoptive parents next week and how she'll feel. Do you think she'll be able to handle all this?"
"Um sure."
"I'm really worried about her."
"She'll be fine." I say, unconvinced myself.
"How do you know? Have you pushed a watermelon out of you for someone else before?"
"I don't know how to answer that."
She sighs frustrated, obviously not hearing what she wants to hear and I'm unsure how to help her.
"Carly, why'd you really call?"
"Huh?"
"Well this talking doesn't seem to be working."
"It's nothing."
"Really?"
"Yes. Gosh, you're so pushy." She grumbles.
Suddenly I hear noise in the background, and the muffling of her phone.
"Freddie I have to go. Sam's here."
"Can you at least tell me what's wrong?"
"No, because it probably doesn't concern you."
"Carly,"
"I'm just a little late, that's all. But i'm sure it's because of all this stress. Don't worry."
She hangs up and i'm left clueless except for a general thought that sends a chill up my spine. I haven't heard the words, "I'm late." since she got pregnant with Megan. Could it be she was pregnant again but with Lance's baby?
Sam's POV
"Carly it's not a big deal!"
"It's totally a big deal!"
"People do this all the time!"
"Yeah, but normally not seventeen year olds, and usually not twice!"
"Carly go!"
I shove her towards the bathroom and she closes the door behind her. Pacing back and forth, this feels all too familiar. Eventually I hear the bathroom door click and she slowly opens the door.
"Sam, what if it's positive? How could this happen again? This is serious! I lied to Spencer and told him Lance and I never did anything."
"Relax, there's probably a fifty- fifty chance you're not."
She burns me a look, letting me know how bad the timing of the joke was. Soon she disappears back into the bathroom and calls out for me.
"Sam?" Her voice quivers.
Walking in, I shut the door behind me and stand in the bathroom, my arm around Carly's as she turns over the answer.
Carly's POV
Ellie and I are sitting in the bean bag chairs of the iCarly studio, enjoying what could be our last time together before the baby arrives. Ellie is eating the ice cream we bought on the way over, but as she laughs, it spills over her large belly.
"Oh, i'm such a clutz." She smiles, as she rubs it off.
"So are you ready?" I ask.
"Oh no, i'm really nervous. I haven't slept these past few weeks and to be honest, my foster parents are being hard on me. You know, as we get closer to the adoption."
"Don't be. The pain is only the first step to meeting your baby. And you're doing a great thing for your baby."
"Actually i've chosen to let the parents hold her first thing. We've kinda had an agreement that I wouldn't see or hold her after she's born because i'm afraid i'll back out even though that's kinda what I want. For the baby to be adopted."
"Ellie, that's gotta be hard to think about."
"Well sure, and I would love to hold her. But the love I would feel for her at that moment still wouldn't change the fact that I can't take care of her . The time holding her would be great, but even with everything I would feel, taking her home would become a responsibility. This baby deserves a chance at life and I want no regrets. Of course I still do love her, but it makes the adoption easier if I don't see her. That way there are no hard feelings and I won't feel guilty for doing the right thing."
She smiles, reassuring me she's okay with this, even though it kinda probably hurts to talk about.
"Hey," Sam says as she walks in.
"Hey Sam." Ellie says.
"Hey." I say.
"Sorry, I didn't know Ellie was here. But since she is… did you guys both wanna go to the smoothie with me?"
We agree and helping Ellie up, she moans and mutters something under her breath.
"What was that?" I ask.
"N...nothing. This baby just is starting to feel real heavy."
She smiles reassuringly and waddles out the door, with Sam and me behind her.
"Carls, you know she's like nine months, right?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, so?"
"You don't think bringing her somewhere is a bad idea? I mean, things happen."
"Things? What things?"
Sam motions her hand outwards and points down, making a whooshing sound to symbolize her water breaking.
"Oh Sam, grow up." I say, nudging her out the door.
Spencer's POV
Hearing a knock at the door, I drop my talking Spencer doll and dart in a hopping motion towards the door.
"Oh, hey Freddie. Sam and Carly took Ellie to the smoothie. You could meet them there if you wanted."
"Uh no. I came here to talk to you."
"Oh. Did you do anything illegal?"
"No…"
"Then sit down."
He sits and looks nervously around, playing with his hands.
"Spencer, I know it's not my place, but I don't think Carly should be with Lance." He says.
"She's not. Don't you know what happened?"
"No, what?!" He asks, suddenly curious.
"Carly dumped him out of nowhere, then asked him out again after he got hit by a car."
"Oh,so they like are or aren't…"
I smile and shake my head. Freddie obviously confused, shrugs his shoulders at me, then finally gets I'm joking.
"You don't really know, do you?" I ask.
"No…" He sighs.
"Well maybe I should leave that up to Carly to tell you. But promise me not to ask Carly until all this stuff with Ellie passes over, okay?"
He nods and stands up, making his way to the door.
"Night Spencer." He says.
"Night kiddo."
Carly's POV
It's after nine and somehow Sam, Freddie, Ellie and I all ended up at the smoothie together. Sam is next to Ellie and i'm across from her, but next to Freddie. Ellie, sighing loudly, tucks her chin into her hand.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, i'm just really uncomfortable." She mutters, stirring her smoothie with her straw.
"Did you wanna go home?"
"Yeah, i'd better."
Getting up and walking around, Sam and I help her up and I link my arm around hers to help walk her out. But before we can even move, Ellie's began to grip the table and lean forwards uncomfortably. Looking down at the same time, Ellie, Sam and I realize that her water had just broken. Thinking quickly, Sam throws Freddie's smoothie on the floor to cover it.
"Aw Freddie! Look what you did!" She yells, casting the blame to Freddie.
When T-bo walks over to investigate and yell at Freddie, Sam and I use that chance to get out of there and take Ellie over to the hospital.
Ellie's POV
"Carly?" I mutter groggy from sleep.
She looks over and me from the couch in my hospital room, with Sam sleeping on her lap.
"Yeah Ellie?" She asks.
"I can't do this. We should go."
I begin unhooking the straps around my stomach and Carly gets up and shakes her head, laying me back down, then sitting next to me on the bed.
"What's wrong?"
"Carly, I can't get over the horrible thought of something going wrong. Or not knowing how to do this or…"
"Ellie, you're body already knows what to do."
"Carly, I haven't felt the baby move in half an hour. I don't even think i've had another contraction since we've got here."
Suddenly she looks concerned and walks over to shake Sam awake, whispering for her to go get someone, but to look calm. Soon I have a nurse in my room, making me do all sorts of crazy things, in hopes that she'll see the baby move.
"Ellie, you're not in active labor and it could be awhile. Why don't you and your friends go for a walk and we'll start some stuff to get this moving."
More time passes, labor finally intensifying with every hour, and soon I'm on the floor, leaning forward against the bed, trying to ease the pain. And though I have not felt her kick, I hear her heartbeat reassuringly. The nurses all tell me to rest, that she'll be here soon, but I can't. Looking over to Carly, I see her spacing out.
"Carly," I call for her attention, then motion for her to over.
Breathing in between contractions, I want to get up from my position so that I could lay back down. Carly gets up to help me, wrapping one hand around my arm and another on my back for support, pulling me up, then she sits back down.
"You okay?"
"No, I'm scared crapless...And I can't help but worry how much it hurts."
My tone of voice reflects my anxiety of this whole thing, and the sharpness of it catches Carly by surprise. I was beginning to become unwillingly irritable after more than fourteen hours of seemingly endless pain. Carly's caring tone of voice shows that she's trying to be patient with me.
"Ellie, don't think about that. Think about the good that comes from the pain. Remember when I told you about Freddie and that taco truck?"
"Yeah, and that's great for Freddie! But I'm choosing to let my baby be adopted."
"And that's the good that's gonna come out of this; you making a decision on what's best for the baby. And I'll be here, and you'll know during all this that the baby will have amazing parents. "
"Yeah and I guess I know that. But still even a part of me wishes she was ours to hold, even though I know that would probably be selfish. I just wanna be sure this is what's best for her and I am."
I smile at the last part reassuringly, relieved to finally be able to be confident in my decision.
"Hey, sometimes it's normal to feel this way. It's also important that you feel like you've made a good choice for your baby and for yourself by choosing adoption."
Carly sits next to me by the bed, smiling back reassuringly.
"Hey- ow... ow, ow!" I groan suddenly, reaching out for Carly's hand to squeeze.
I roll to my side in pain right as the nurse walks in and I let go of Carly's hand to squeeze the bed posts with mine.
"Ow- when can this be over?" I whimper, uncomfortably.
My contractions are now just minutes closer, a change from twelve minutes apart when we first got here, now almost fifteen hours ago.
"Ellie, we have the adoptive parents coming in for the birth. Would that be alright?" The nurse asks.
I look over to see Clara and Benji waiting in the doorway, smiling. They already told me it was my choice, but deciding it would be best, I decided to let them in since it was soon to be their baby.
Surging pain wracks every nerve in my body, and my legs are growing weary from being held in the air. I've only been pushing for a few minutes now, but in this kind of pain, it feels like an eternity. Exhaling and laying back, I feel ready to give up and start to cry, my clammy hand already losing its grip to Carly's.
"I can't do this." I moan, wishing I wouldn't have been so stubborn and afraid to get an epidural.
"Yes you can." Carly squeezes my hand.
Moaning deeply through another contraction, I take the liberty to try again, but frustrated, I lie back once more. For another hour I continue to push, and after an eternity of what feel like pushing an cantaloupe through an oval hole, the baby's head appears.
"Push Ellie!" Carly screams encouragingly.
"I can't!"
"C'mon, you've come this far!"
"Then why don't you take over, skunk bag!"
"She doesn't mean that!" Carly assures the parents and she's probably right.
"One more Ellie!" Clara says, not sounding promising.
Tensing my muscles once again, I push hard, holding my breath and feeling it circulate in my chest. Feeling a sudden pressure, then a popping relief, I finally hear my baby cry and I lie back, trying to take it all in. The doctor hands the baby to the parents and I feel my heart drop in my chest even though I knew what I was doing was right.
Carly looks at me and smiles, telling me everything is fine and squeezing my hand reassuringly.
"You did good hun." Clara whispers as she wipes my tears and matted hair from my face.
"Thank you Ellie. We couldn't put it into words how thankful we are for her and for you." Benji gushes of his daughter, and I see his eyes gleam at her.
"Um, of course." I whisper unsurely, and smile at Benji.
"She'll be fine. You did a good thing." Carly reassures me, noticing the look of hurt and tears on my face.
"I know. And I guess if she wasn't meant to be my blessing, she should be someone else's. I'm just happy I chose to do this."
Despite a wave of slight jealousy, I manage to smile, still wishing the baby was my own to hold. She had a home now and I knew I did the right thing when the parents continued to hold and kiss her tight, giving her the love I could never provide her in my own foster home, and it made me smile.
They named her Maisie Gaines, literally right before they left the hospital. Seeing them leave with her was the hardest yet most reassuring moment of my life, but I was ready to settle in with a fresh new start when Carly took me home that evening.
"Carly, this is for you." I say, handing her a letter of three long pages. She sets it down after reading and cries, pulling me into a hug, and contagiously spreads her tears to me, causing me to cry uncontrollably.
"Thank-you Carly."
"No problem. Having you around was like having a little sister, rather than having to always babysit my best friend." She laughs.
"And we can always talk about anything, even though i'm not pregnant anymore?"
"Anything . Even boyfriends?" She teases.
"That would be fun."
Smiling, Carly turns and leaves, waving goodbye for what felt like the first real time.
Carly's POV
"Hey kid, you look uh…" Spencer starts.
"Hey, easy there Texas. I haven't showered in two days. "
"I know. You did a good thing kid."
"Yeah, I guess. I really like Ellie, and I feel like she's gonna be more independent now. You know she's pretty wise for her age."
"She did a great thing for her baby, and it seemed like she knew that, even if she still had some doubts." Spencer agrees.
Hugging Spencer, he pushes me off of him, smelling my few day old tank and jeans. I start to head up the stairs but turn around, stopping midway on the steps.
"Spencer," My voice wavers.
"Yeah kid?"
Throwing myself into him, tears streaking my face, Spencer motions for me to sit down.
"Carly,"
I say nothing, allowing Spencer to speak, but he doesn't move.
"You know, don't you?" I finally ask.
He nods and I sigh relieved.
"You're not pregnant, are you." He confirms.
"No." I say softly.
I snuggle up into him and he puts his arm around me and squeezes in a brotherly way. Then looking at me, he suddenly gets serious.
"So have you talked to Freddie yet? Especially now since you know you're not pregnant."
"No, I didn't think it was the right time. I just broke up with Lance and I wasn't sure if I was pregnant."
"Now is as good a time as any other. Don't blow you shot at getting him. He loves you, and won't stop, even if he finds someone else. But he won't know you love him back unless you say so. "
Smiling in agreement then standing up from the couch, I walk over and to Megan, who is sleeping in the chair, and lift her up, resting her head on my quietly stirs in her sleep and looks up at me briefly. I cover her up, then start to take her up the stairs.
"You, me and daddy are gonna be family again." I whisper to her and smile as I head up the stairs.
Putting her in bed then picking up my phone, I press it to my ear.
"Carly?"
"Hey Freddie, I think it's time we talked."
And the rest of that night was spent talking, laughing and crying. And little did I have to regret.