A/N : Hi, there. This first chapter is so full of it, but I promise, I will explain it... eventually. This story is of the humor genre, so naturally, I have a twisted way to start it off. Romance too, but step by step, slowly. And please excuse my bullshit. There's a lot of it. Also, I should probably tell you that my OC's seeming hints of being 'chosen' are meant for parody, just in case you mistake my intentions. Don't take it seriously, because I have no intention of making her a Mary-Sue or a crack Sue. I try to portray things in a both funny but realistic way.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I stared blankly out the window, pretending that the little bunny cloud was escaping the hell that was my school. Run, Cuddles run!
In my haze, I scarcely heard my math teacher drone. I hate math with a seething passion. As for what I do like, I suppose I like English class. I'd write sometimes, that being my favorite hobby. Drawing? I like that too, but I suck at it. I may leave poorly drawn inappropriate drawings on napkins while I'm out at a restaurant, but that's it.
My thoughts were scattered when I heard a crash, and shards of glass rained on my face, making blood drizzle across my skin. I winced, not wanting glass to get in my eyes and positioned my arms over my face, but there were far too many shards for my thin arms to work as a proper shield.
To be honest, I nearly pissed myself and prayed for my life. I thought the rapture was coming.
"I am the portal lady. I am here to collect the chosen one." an eerie conceited voice half screamed in intrusion. Well lady, who let you out of the nut house? It couldn't have been anyone with a brain.
Seeming that the downpour had ended, I turned my head to witness the delusional intruder.
She had dark purple hair that glimmered as if the moon had put a spell on it and large bright gold eyes that looked seemingly possessed as if some demonic force was peering out of its host. Her murky gray gown was shadowed by the rest of her features. I began to wonder if I was the delusional one.
The room was deadly silent. My classmates, teacher and I had all observed the creature, and I'm pretty sure we were all thinking the same thing.
The creature's possessive eyes froze when they met mine. It was if she was the lion and I was the poor baby antelope. I sat helpless on the cold tile floor as she sauntered towards me with elegant grace.
"You are the chosen one; the one who must be brought." hissed my creepiest nightmare ever. No amount of stuffed animals and night lights are stopping this nightmare from showing up again.
"I… I'm not the… the… chosen one.… Stop… Turn into… a fairy… please…" I stuttered pathetically, in an effort to stop my tragic end from drawing near.
Shit, I'm so screwed...
It was too late. The woman crouched in front of me, and stared unblinking into my soul.
The world around me faded, and I was thrown into a kaleidoscopic abyss. Pictures flashed in front of my eyes too fast for me to catch, before I slammed into something hard, the world around me dimming.
You'd better feed my goldfish…
I woke up startled, clutching my heart as if it would burst.
A beeping sound fluttered like there was no tomorrow and in response, I heard someone dash down the hall. I figured it was a nurse and I was in the nut house. There was no way I was sane. Brain, you've got some explaining to do.
The nurse slowed her pace as she noticed that I was awake. She dragged over a stool from the other side of the room and sat next to me. "Hi. My name is Nina. Do you feel any discomfort?" She spoke in a voice that reminded me of how one would speak to a small child.
I shook my head, eyes glued on the white pleated bedspread, still collecting my thoughts.
"Good. The Kazekage has asked me to ask you a few questions. He is very busy with a meeting at the moment, so has asked me to take a few notes for him to look at." Nina explained, tone remaining.
I nodded once again, not yet ready to actually speak.
The whole "Kazekage" bit must be in my head, but I want out of this place. I'm not getting out by looking batshit insane.
Maybe it was Jess's fault, the girl who sat next to me in math class. She used sharpies like pens. Did she want to kill her brain cells? Well it looks like mine are halfway dead, so thanks, Jess. Maybe I'll meet you here and we can trip on sharpies together.
"Can you tell me your name?" Nina asked. It was such a simple question; one that I should have been able to answer.
With that thought, I burst into tears, covering my mouth with my palm to muffle the sobs.
A/N: So, how was it? Reviews are love. :3