Old Flames With Old Names
34.08.01, StarRise Weyr
Lira twirled around and looked at Evlyn expectantly. The soft, saffron material draped around the greenrider's lithe, curvaceous form with deceptively innocence. A wide, purple ribbon encircled Lira's ribs just below her breasts, and the scooped neckline of the bodice displaced the creamy, caramel skin of her cleavage nicely – neither low enough for sluttishness, nor high enough for prudery. Purple embroidery danced around the neckline, the hem, and the cuffs of the gown, a pattern of saffron flowers. More embroidered flowers were sprinkled around the loose folds of the skirt.
"Isn't it odd how such a pretty, purple flower actually dies such a lovely golden color?" Evlyn touched one of the embroidered blossom's lightly. "Simple, elegant, lovely," she said approvingly.
"Like most of your gather clothes," Lira agreed with a laugh. "Thank you for lending it to me."
Evlyn stood up from her couch and came to Lira's side. Reaching down, she fluffed the skirt a couple of times. "You're welcome, although I don't know why you needed to borrow something. You're closet is more extensive than mine."
Lira pouted. "Everything is styled for cold Benden weather. This darling of a gown is perfect. Why did you have it made, anyway?"
Evlyn's face saddened and she touched the slim, graceful gown with the small, puffed shoulder sleeves with a light fingertip. "J'fillon said he wanted to take me to an Istan gather, for a surprise. I thought he was… Well. It doesn't matter. He moved out before the gather."
"Oh." Lira paused, then hugged Evlyn close. "It still hurts?" she asked softly. "It's been more than a turn."
"I know," Evlyn sighed. "I can't help it, Lira. I loved him so much. I guess…I guess I still love him. It doesn't just go away because he hurt me."
Lira scowled, her dark eyes almost glowing with her anger. "I'd like to hurt him," she growled harshly.
"Oh, please!" Evlyn said anxiously, clasping her aunt's upper arms in a hard grip. "Please don't, Aunt! I don't want to think about him now. I want you to go, have a good time at the gather, and give this dress some happy memories. Maybe then I can wear it, too."
Lira hesitated, then sighed and pulled Evlyn close for a brief hug. "All right, Evie. I won't hunt him down and feed him to the whers. You should come, too, though."
Evlyn shook her head and smiled. "No, I don't think so. You have the list of things I want from the crafters, and you know I don't really like gathers. You go on and have a good time."
Lira picked up the reticule that matched the gown and skipped for the door. Callenth waited for her on the ledge. The dragon's hide gleamed with health, a dark, verdant green. She turned a rainbow hued eye to her rider and Evlyn as they approached, then reclined so Lira could mount easily. The greenrider gracefully slid into place, fastening her riding straps securely, then accepted the fur-lined cloak that Evlyn handed up to her.
"We'll see you tonight…maybe!" Lira called as Callenth crouched, then launched into flight. Evlyn smiled as she watched the green gain altitude. Once they were above the Starstones, they vanished between.
Chuckling, Evlyn headed for the stairs that would take her to the Weyr Bowl. There was a great deal of work to do yet on the Turnover gowns she was making for herself and Lira. It had been a fight to get Ameria to leave the gowns alone, but Lira enjoyed creating the clothes, and this effort was as much a gift as the finished gown would be.
# # #
Callenth returns, Urjath said, interrupting Evlyn's concentration little more than a candlemark later. She's hurt.
Evlyn tossed her sewing box aside and scrambled to her feet, spitting the pins held between her lips into the palm of her hand as she did so. "Hurt? How is she hurt?" she demanded as she ran for the door of the weaver's cavern. "She went to a gather, for Ancestor's sake!"
I do not know, and she is not telling me, Urjath said, her own tone colored with anxiety.
Lira bit her lip and ran down the corridor that let out on the Weyr Bowl. The dragon infirmary was across the 'bowl, and to the left, of the Crafter Alley. She could see a flurry of activity near there, and hurried across the sparsely populated Weyr Bowl.
"What happened?" she demanded as soon as she got close enough to see her aunt. "Are you all right?"
Lira's face was thunderous, but she took a deep breath and slowly assumed a calmer expression. "Callenth was showing off to some dragons on the ridge. She decided to attempt a one-foot touchdown – except the boulder she decided to land on shifted. Next thing you know, she's floundering around, there's this great crack, and she's shrieking. And my back was wrenched every which way with her tossing about."
"Oh, no," Evlyn said, raising her hands to her cheeks. "Are you hurt? Do you need a healer?"
Lira waved that off and watched as the dragonhealers checked the cast on Callenth's leg. "K'tern did a good job on the cast," Chyler said as the two greenriders joined her. "It's solid, and the trip between didn't do any harm to it." She patted the green's side. "Now, young lady, you just stay off that leg! Give it time to heal. That means no weight on it for at least six sevendays. We've put you in the ground weyr near the dining cavern until that leg can take your weight again."
"Thanks, Chyler," Lira said as Callenth started to limp away and she followed, one hand on her dragon's neck.
Evlyn followed at her aunt's side, silently calling Urjath down to support the other green. "So, did she at least impress the other dragons?" Evlyn asked curiously.
Lira rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure. Clumsiness is always a turn on."
Evlyn stifled a giggle. "Poor thing. I'll help you get her settled, and then how about we go to the dining hall and find something sweet to console you?"
"Chocolate?" Lira asked hopefully.
"Chocolate," Evlyn agreed with a grin. "I'm sure Amai or Calasin have some chocolate treats somewhere."
# # #
Evening
Evlyn was yawning as she walked up the steps to her weyr. She'd considered having Urjath come get her, but the green was already sleeping and she didn't want to wake her. Besides, the walk wouldn't hurt her, and would help ensure a deep and refreshing sleep that night. The day hadn't been stressful. It had actually been quite relaxing, despite Callenth's accident. Lira was never one to stay out of sorts for long and after a dose or two of chocolate, she was back to her vivacious, merry self. She'd soon found some willing man to take off to be entertained and Evlyn had returned to her interrupted tasks.
Lira's dress was almost finished. Just one more fitting to ensure the proper measurements and then she could finish the plain sewing and begin on the embroidery and additions. She'd talk to Lira tomorrow to find time for that fitting.
The glow outside her weyr wasn't turned, so the ledge was shadowed in darkness. Evlyn frowned at it for a moment, then shrugged. Weyrbrats usually turned the glows when it got dark, but it wasn't unheard of for one or two of them to be forgotten in the general rush. She didn't need it anyway; she was very familiar with this ledge now and managed to avoid the few objects that she had set out on it.
She paused just inside the door to lift one of the glow baskets down and turn it to light her way. The greenish light brightened the short tunnel, but didn't reach the room beyond until she entered it. She had expected to find Urjath on her stone couch since she wasn't on the ledge, but her green was nowhere to be seen.
Neither was anything else. Evlyn stared around the empty weyr in bemused shock, then turned to check the plaque outside the door to make sure she'd entered the right one. Yes. SE L4.05. That was her weyr, all right. But where were her things? And where was Urjath?
Well, that question was easy to answer. Urjath, where are you?
The green's response was sleepy. I am in our weyr.
No, Evlyn answered slowly. You're not.
There was a long pause. But…Harneth said that this was our weyr now.
Ice skittered down Evlyn's spine. Harneth was J'fillon's blue. J'fillon was supposed to be at Benden. Why would Harneth – and J'fillon – be at StarRise? And why would Harneth tell Urjath anything about where her weyr was supposed to be?
Urjath, dear one, that's not our weyr. Why don't you come home now and we'll talk about it tomorrow?
Oh. All right, Evlyn. Can Harneth come with me? He's very warm.
Evlyn's breath caught in her throat and she longed to say no. But Harneth had never done anything to her, and Urjath was genuinely fond of him. Yes, dear, if he wishes, he's welcome, too.
Where Harneth went, J'fillon would likely follow. Evlyn stiffened her spine, turned and went back down the stairs and headed for the storage rooms to get a few blankets for the night. If her living room was empty, her bedroom would be as well. She had no intention of sleeping anywhere but in her own weyr this night.
There were still several weyrfolk about since it wasn't too late at night, but Evlyn didn't pause to speak to any of them. She was surprised, however, to see Rameera leaving the linen storage room as she approached. The cleaner smiled warmly at her as she closed the storage room's door.
"Evlyn! Did everything get arranged as you liked it? Bluerider J'fillon insisted that we get everything moved today but he didn't want to interrupt whatever you were doing. Wasn't that thoughtful of him?" She winked at the greenrider. "You're lucky to have such a handsome, thoughtful man! Does he have any brothers?"
"You…moved my things?" Evlyn asked, stunned. "Without asking me?"
Rameera nodded cheerfully. "J'fillon insisted on that. He said you hate being interrupted and he'd promised you that he'd see to everything when he arrived. Although," Rameera added critically, eyeing Evlyn with a hint of displeasure, "you should have told us when we moved you into the wingsecond's weyr that you'd need a double soon. We have plenty of both and there would have been no harm in setting you up in the double to begin with."
Evlyn swallowed hard, then straightened her back. "Rameera, you've been misled. I didn't, don't, and won't need a double. I had no idea J'fillon was coming to StarRise, and I most certainly will not be weyrmating with him if he is here to stay. If I could just get some blankets for tonight, I'll see to moving my things back into my weyr tomorrow."
Rameera's smile had faded when she had scolded Evlyn, but now her expression closed down completely. "You didn't request a new weyr?" she asked.
"No, Rameera. I didn't."
"And you didn't know J'fillon had transferred here?"
"No, Rameera. I didn't," Evlyn repeated flatly.
"The bluerider lied to me?" Rameera's dark eyes were sparking and Evlyn recognized the warning signs that the cleaner's infamous temper was about to ignite.
"I can't say for sure," Evlyn temporized. "I don't know what he told you. But I have no intention of moving out of my weyr. I'll take care of it, Rameera – tomorrow. If I could just have some blankets for tonight?"
Rameera turned on her heel and jerked open the door to the storage room. She scrawled a note on the inventory board and marched into the spacious room, pausing only briefly beside on set of shelves to pull down linen and a sleeping fur. Without a word she handed them to Evlyn.
"Thank you," Evlyn murmured as she took the bedding from Rameera.
Rameera nodded. "Wingsecond, I'm sorry about the mix up. He just seemed so certain about it. I'll get everything set back to rights tomorrow. And I'll have him reported, as well."
Evlyn smiled at the cleaner and nodded. "Thank you, Rameera. I'm sure I'll be having words with him myself, but he abused his position and it should be reported by the ones who were hurt by it. In this case, you. I'll be reporting him, as well. A past relationship gives him no right to the liberties he took today."
"Exactly," Rameera said shortly, nodding sharply. "Good night, Evlyn. Sleep well."
Evlyn nodded and headed back towards the living cavern, then out into the bowl. She was even more exhausted now, but doubted she'd be sleeping any time soon. She was too on edge, upset and unsettled by J'fillon's unexpected arrival. And she hadn't even seen him yet. If she was this off balance just by the knowledge he was here, how was she ever going to face him?
'You have to. That's all there is to it. He's making assumptions, obviously, and unless you plan to be the doormat you used to be with him, you'll have to face up to it. Stupid.' She sighed and once more trudged up the stairs to her weyr. This time the glows were lit. As she entered the short tunnel, she could hear the sharp click of boot soles on stone. She paused, took a deep breath, and then reached out to sweep the door curtain aside.
The tall, golden-blond man who paced her weyr spun to face her and came to an abrupt stop. Then the smile she'd always loved, and which had always melted her heart, lit his face and he stepped towards her with his arms outstretched. Lira shuddered as his familiar scent surrounded her, and his hands slid against her back as he embraced her. His tunic was soft against her check, his hands warm and gentle on her back. For a moment, she leaned against him, melting into the familiar contours of his body.
"Evie, love, here you are!" he said, his voice a rumble in her ear. "I know, I should have let you know I was coming, and I should have let you have a choice in our weyr, but I wanted to surprise you. Didn't Urjath tell you that it was Harneth she was cuddled up with?"
Evlyn's breath caught and she reminded herself sharply of why she'd left Benden. Of the night she'd come home to find that his things were gone from their weyr, and he'd not said a word to her. Of the pain of seeing him, the next day, with another greenrider at his side, his arm familiarly around her waist, as he sat with a group of his friends at the breakfast table.
She pulled away from him and held the bedding she'd gotten from Rameera between them. "J'fillon. What are you doing here?" she asked, shamed by the way her voice trembled.
J'fillon blinked his golden hazel eyes at her, then smiled and reached for her again. "Evie, I'm here for you. Did you really think that I'd let you leave Benden without me? Leave me?"
Evlyn swallowed hard, past the painful lump in her throat. She tried to speak and couldn't. She tried again, the words came out choked. "You left me."
J'fillon knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his and forcing her to release the linens and sleeping fur. "I was a fool, Evie. I never should have done that. You're the best thing in my life and I let you go for what? Nothing! Please, Evie. I love you. Be my weyrmate again."
Evlyn jerked her hands away and stumbled back. "Weyrmate? Weyrmate?" she demanded, her voice rising as anger rushed through her and cleared the knot from her throat. "You left! You didn't say a word! I came home and your things were gone – and the next morning you were cozied up with another woman! How could you think that you could just come here – here! Where I came to get away from daily reminders of you! – come here and assume that things would go back to how they were?"
Urjath's head rose sharply and her eyes whirled red with anger. Evlyn's emotions were communicated instantly to the green and she turned hissing on J'fillon. The spacious weyr was suddenly claustrophobic. Evlyn would have thrown something if there had been anything to throw.
The bluerider stood up, red color staining his cheekbones as he clenched his fists. "You're being childish, Evlyn," J'fillon said shortly. "I made a mistake. I apologized. Surely you're not going to hold it against me? I love you! I know you love me!"
Evlyn flinched and folded her arms around her. "So what?" she demanded harshly, unable to deny that truth. "So what? Love isn't everything; you taught me that. I don't want to be your weyrmate. I didn't even know you were coming here. You invaded my weyr, took my things, lied to the staff! Rameera's reporting you, J'fillon, and I am, too. Just because you changed your mind doesn't mean everyone else has, too!"
"Reporting me? For what? For arranging a surprise for my weyrmate?" J'fillon chopped a hand swiftly. "No one will blame or fault me for that! Just calm down, Evlyn, and stop being hysterical." Evlyn saw him take a deep breath, and almost visibly calm his temper as he stepped up to her again. "You love me," he said again, gentling his tone.
He reached out and caressed her cheek, and Evlyn shuddered at the heat of his touch. Her body yearned for his and she had to bit the inside of her cheek to keep from swaying towards him. "Maybe. But I hate you, too," she answered.
"That just makes the sex better," J'fillon murmured leaning close.
Evlyn gasped and reared back. It just made the sex better? How dare he! Her hand fisted and she swung. The shock of impact as her hand connected with his chin numbed her arm to the shoulder and snapped his head back.
"Bloody sharding shells!" J'fillon shouted, raising a hand to his jaw. "What in Faranth's name was that for?"
"Get out of my weyr and don't come back," Evlyn said in a hard voice. "I don't ever want to see you again."
J'fillon's jaw clenched and his eyes glared at her, smoldering and hot. "That's what you say now. You're mine, Evlyn. You've always been mine, since Urjath's first flight, and you'll always be mine. I'll give you a few days to get that in your head, then I expect you to be joining me in that double weyr."
"You can wait until between warms," Evlyn grated. "You'll be living there alone."
J'fillon's hard smile was confident. "If that's what you need to tell yourself, Evie. Sleep well. Cold, but well. If you need warming, Urjath knows where I am." He sauntered out of the room, Harneth following meekly behind him.
Evlyn stood in the middle of the weyr, feeling the hot trail of tears slide down her face. Had he always been that way? So arrogant and thoughtless? So selfish? How had she'd not seen it before? All those turns with him, so madly and blissfully in love. Did he even see her, or did he see a possession?
How had she loved him? How could she still love him?