AN: Hey everybody! This is my first Twilight fic, so please be nice if I don't fuck it up too badly :) Hopefully I haven't lol. This will be a chaptered fic, fairly long. It gets heavy into the action around perhaps chapter 5 so please be patient ;) Oh; and there are some important changes I've made; first of all, there has been an age decrease. In this story, the characters are aged as follows; Leah is 17, Sam and Emily are 19, Jake/Embry/Quil are a little older than Leah and are almost 18. Seth is 16, Jared is 18, Collin and Brady probably won't make much of an appearance if they do at all, and the Cullens will stay the same :) So here it is! This is the Prologue; hope you like it guys!

Sam's POV

It wasn't like she waved a sign in front of our faces with big bold print saying 'I'm depressed! Save me!'. It wasn't like she gave us any huge, obvious hints...

It's not like I kept telling myself that everytime I looked at her. I blamed myself.

In fact, I was happy with the 'new, new Leah'. It wasn't so obvious to us that she might be hurting more than usual as it might be to you. She was quieter; a little less snarky. We could stand to be around eachother, and she'd only bitch about half the time compared to being the permanent pain in the pack's ass that she'd been known to be.

It was like she was finally getting over everything that had happened, and finally trying to accept the hand life dealt her.

That's about the only major problem I had with the change.

Not like I'm ever gonna tell her that, but.. Once you get so used to your ex-girlfriend pining after you and showing you memories of how much you made her happy you begin to miss it when it's gone. And I don't mean miss it as in 'oh yeah she still wants me, I'm the man! Look but don't touch baby!'.

It was more along the lines of 'I'm not allowed to have you, but I think I want you. Please don't stop wanting me too.'

I felt horrible for thinking like that. I was engaged.. Nearly in the stages of planning a family with my fiance, Emily. Leah's cousin. Leah's cousin who I left her for. Leah's cousin who I put Leah through Hell for. And, I love Emily. I loved Emily.

I imprinted on Emily.

I didn't see it that way then. I thought I loved her. Thought these feelings for Leah over the past couple of months were just random flashbacks, maybe a small amount of longing for the loose-strings romance we shared since I was about to be married. You know, the time machine image. Every guy went through it.

I didn't connect dots. Didn't know if I wanted to.

In fact, I only let myself have the nerve to even consider falling in love with Leah again when I royally screwed up sex with Emily.

Sam...Sam, God, she breathed in my ear, her hips bucking upwards, meeting mine, as we clashed together, fitting perfectly, two halves of one perfect whole.

I didn't reply, too full of her, of us to do so. My fingers tangled in her dark hair as I pulled her up to me, my lips capturing hers, hungry and desperate.

But it wasn't Emily beneath me. At least, not in my head. There was a part of me that still wanted her, still loved her, and I clung to that part as I drove into the woman beneath me.

She tasted like the richest of spices. I still remember. Used to drive me insane.

A name slipped from my lips before I could think. A name, all I really had of the girl I had lost.

Leah.....

You can guess how bad it was after that. She even cried. I felt so fucking guilty. I knew she would forgive me, but I didn't know if I could forgive myself. I didn't want to hurt Emily. I didn't mean to hurt Emily.

That wasn't the only reason I felt guilty though. 'Way to go Sam, you made your fiance cry by screaming your ex's name in bed. Who you broke apart like a trash puzzle and expect to come back to you still in pieces so you can fuck everything up more. You're actually horrible. You're a shit of a person. Leah's been right about everything. Everything...'

And things went downhill from there..

"Sam, please, talk to me!" Emily sobbed, face even more disfigured by the running make-up that streaked down her horrid scars. Scars that made the once-beautiful face permanently set into a lop-sided scowl.

I couldn't look at her. Still can't, when I think about what I did to her. To cause those scars. Couldn't face my shame in or out of bed that night. I didn't talk to her about it. Nothing more was said or drawn out of the incident then a porn star who shared my ex's name.

No. Nothing more than that.

Emily forgave me. Emily... Emily can't not forgive me, like I can never be angry at her either, and I wished she hit me, scream, throw a goddamn tantrum that brought the roof down, any fucking thing to make me feel as guilty as I should. Why couldn't she have gotten mad?

I never told anybody about what happened that night. Emily didn't either; why would she? If it got back to Leah....

Leah. Went out the next morning on patrol with her, and her thoughts were awkward and closed off. I was more on guard then ever; if she caught word of the night before she would pound me. Absolutely fucking kill me and hate me more than ever even though I deserved it. And I didn't want her to hate me.

I didn't want to ruin my life with Emily.

I didn't want to mess up how the pack looked up to me. 'Sam, mighty all-knowing Alpha extraordinaire, knowledgeable above all else. Never wrong about anything and always does the right thing.' Didn't want them to know I was wrong about imprinting. Didn't want them to know I was thinking I was wrong about imprinting.

I didn't want to suddenly show up in the rear view mirror of Leah's life again and destroy any recovery she'd made.. Because she was so much better now.

I was so fucking wrong.. I was actually the most oblivious person, worse than all the others because I knew Leah so much better than the rest of them did and I still brushed off the signs!

Days passed and I was actually surprised I hid my thoughts so well. Pack life continued on as usual. Leah was in my mind night and day. Paul and Leah fought. Seth and Leah fought. Leah fought with her mom. Leah was quiet when left undisturbed.

'Hey bitch, you gonna eat that??'

She just slid the plate over to him.

"No. Take it. I'm not hungry.."

"That's a first." Paul nose-dived into the plate of eggs and bacon like there was no tomorrow and Leah just glared at him, rolled those pretty eyes. "Really though you eat like a pig Leah what's gotten into you??"

"Jerk." Leah hissed, getting up from the table and making her way out of the kitchen. Paul just shrugged.

"I'd rather be a jerk then a ravin' bitch who can't even cook right." He said as he spit out a particularly hard piece of bacon. Leah was upstairs in her room with the door shut and music playing in seconds.

I said nothing.

Leah and Jared literally got so mad at each other one day when they phased because of his constant Kim-is-fucking-sexy thoughts that they snap and bite at each other. He almost took a chunk out of her hind leg before I stopped the fight. Had to keep up appearances. I didn't notice how, during the fight... Leah never tried to bite Jared anywhere that would seriously hurt. None of the places Jared took snaps at, and Leah's usually the most violent member after Paul.

More shit like this happened and I stood by. Stood by like everything was okay and I didn't say shit all about how I wanted to rip Jared's head off for annoying her. How Paul was just a dick, simply put.

Instead I did and said nothing. After all, Leah could handle herself... Leah was invincible. Right? And I couldn't let the others see me taking her well-being so seriously again..

I'm such a goddamn idiot. I'm worse than any bloodsucker or any monster will ever be.

We were so caught up in the way we expected her to act, knew her to act... We were happy she was less aggressive. We just wanted a break... We never once considered why.

If only I'd intervened. If only I hadn't been a coward and all of us hadn't been so fucking blind deaf and stupid...

If only.

It was too late when they came, when everything went down.

And it's all my fault...

I'll never let her go.