Hidden memories. Lost, gone. Disappeared. The absence strikes a pain in the other, deep and brutal, and irrational. It's not his fault, it's not his fault. You keep telling yourself that, but it's not going to work, because, hon, you care about him too much. And he doesn't care about you even remotely.
Of course it hurts. Of course it's frustrating. Of course it's gnawing at his heart like so many little maggots feeding on a rotten, dead body, but what can he do? The other doesn't care for him. If he has the capacity to forget, then he's obviously not important to him. It's that simple.
Accusing words of blame. Angry gestures. They all lead up to one thing, and that thing is... Well, it's hard to distinguish, exactly. Actually, you don't know. Suppose you'll find out sooner or later. You don't know which one is best.
If things were easy. If only things were easy. If they were easy, he could do things. If they were easy he could express things. But he can't. Because there's one little thing, a tiny little difference between the two that changes everything. He doesn't know if something went wrong in his brain, or something, or when exactly it happened, but eventually he came to realize he was attracted to him, being pulled to him by an invisible magnetic force, unbreakable, but it is, of course, one-sided, and that's the painful difference of it all. The fine line of steel dividing them, and the other, being his oblivious, lazy, selfish self, has absolutely no idea.
You're breaking down.
I know.
So why don't you do something about it?
I can't.
This isn't healthy.
What am I supposed to do?
You're on your own, kid.
Since when was his heart broken?
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Hoihoi. Okay, so I lied about the "only writing stories for South Park" thing, but I had no idea I was a sick freak back then. So here, have something stupid that I'm sure I'm going to get "talked" to about later. Not that I think it's stupid, even though I feel stupid for admitting that, but whatever. I'm sure there will be more of this nonsense later, so stay tuned, ignore, whatever you want to do. God.