Summary: Lily is out of sorts with the world. She has no idea what she wants to do with herself and she's slowly learning that sometimes it takes a little help from our friends to help us make it through. Join her on her quest to find herself. /2nd generation, eventually Lily P.& OC/

A/N: like I have anything better to do with my time? -.- Let's just see what you guys think of it, shall we? Maybe it'll be an on going thing... depending on your /reviews/...
Disclaimer: JK should share her profits with me, y'know. Sadly though, she doesn't... because it's all hers.


"Are you sure you don't mind," Lily Potter asked, gripping her sleeping bag tightly against her chest. Her face was streaked with tears and there was a bruise forming under her left eye. Her brother, Albus Potter, went to her and pulled her tight against his chest and she was forced to drop the sleeping bag. Lily, the strongest little girl her brother ever knew, cried like a baby for the first time he'd heard in years. Her lip trembled and pitiful little noises poured from her mouth as she sobbed in earnest. It really did try his heart to hear her cry like that. He felt like hunting down the sodding bastard that had done this to her and ripping him a new arsehole, but Lily wouldn't tell him who it was. She just clung to him and soaked his t-shirt, crying and crying for what seemed like hours.

Finally, she finished with one hiccup and pulled away, swiping hastily at her eyes. They were red rimmed and puffy, but she gave him a watery smile anyway. "Honestly, I'm so silly sometimes," she breathed and bent to retrieve her sleeping bag. Albus frowned and Lily's lips quivered again as she willed herself not to break down. "Al, don't," she said, reaching up and trying to smooth the wrinkles from his forehead. His frown only deepened and he shook his head, disgusted. "I just don't understand why you won't tell me who it was," he bit out, hands clenched angrily.

"It's in the past, Al," she softly said, one tear leaking down her bruised cheek. "What? An hour ago?!" He tried very hard not to get mad and yell, but she made it so effing difficult. Why did she have to be so stubborn? She turned her back to him and her red hair fell half way down her back. "I don't want to talk about it, Al," came her icy response, and as far as she was concerned, the conversation was over. Lily was hard headed to a fault and sometimes it reminded Al of their mother. He wondered how Lily could get herself in such positions. She had a nasty knack of picking the worst men. If Harry knew, he would have had a fit. So would James, Albus darkly thought as he stepped over her stony form on the floor. She lay in her sleeping bag, staring up at the ceiling with her hair fanned out around her head.

Lily was pretty. Albus knew this and sometimes wished she wasn't. Even in school, she'd been popular with the boys, much to his dismay. He thought it was more of a curse than a blessing. For some reason, she'd had this ungodly attraction to Slytherins and her heart always ended up broken. Of Harry Potter's two sons, Albus was the closest to Lily. He was the one she turned to once Hugo had gotten his job at the Ministry. It stung a little, knowing he was her second choice, but he supposed he couldn't blame her. In a way, Hugo had been a better brother to her for years. He'd been there for her always. When she wasn't getting her heart broken, she'd spent all her time with their dear cousin Hugo back at Hogwarts. But still, it was me she came to tonight, he hazzily thought as sleep finally claimed him. The situation at hand was just too much to deal with right before bed and all his Auror work really was catching up with him at last...

-&-

The next morning, Lily was gone. The sleeping bag was curled into a tight ball at the foot of his bed and that was it. No note, no nothing. Mutely, he stared at the sleeping bag and indecisively chewed his thumb nail. Should I owl someone? What if she went back to the git that roughed her up? Growling low in frustration, Albus gave up and wandered to the kitchen to brew something up for breakfast. Later, getting dressed for work, he tried to reassure himself, Lily's not that stupid. But he still wasn't entirely convinced...

When he stepped into the Auror's headquarters, he knew he was in for a rough day. Sighing, he reached up to smooth the worry wrinkles from his forehead and failed. If she kept this up, he would have grey hair by the end of the day. Damn woman, he moodily thought to himself and decided to write her a quick note. He'd ask James what to do later, as much as he dreaded it.

Lil,

Where the hell are you?

Al

He asked one of the Auror owls to deliver it and it bit hit fingers once the letter was secured. "Bloody owl," he muttered under his breath. "Bite you, did it?" When he looked up, his father was looking directly at him. Albus peered into the eyes exactly like his and tried not to crumple under their searching gaze. The look Harry was sending him said that he knew something was up, just not quite what yet. Al was determined to keep it that way as long as possible. Nodding slightly, he flushed for realizing his father had heard him curse. Ah, well. Gotta grow up some time, he thought matter-of-factly.

"Talked to James lately," his father conversationally asked. Harry hadn't really talked much to any of his children lately, for all the work he'd had, and felt rather guilty about it. Then again, they were all grown up and they did have lives of their owns, Harry tried to remind himself. But it didn't help. Are you a wizard or aren't you, he asked himself. How hard is it to stick your head in a fireplace and floo one of them?

"No, not lately," Albus replied rather dully, bringing his father out of his reverie. But I will later, he silently added on. He took his time card and punched in beside his father. Harry thought that his youngest son looked worried and worn thin. His Auror's robes hung off him loosely and if Molly saw him, she'd die right on the spot. None of her children should look that peaky, she would say and pinch poor Al's cheeks. Harry sighed and turned to him, shaking the thought off. "If something happened, you would tell me, right," Harry asked his son and Albus simply pursed his lips. "Depends," he answered after a momentary pause and turned to leave. "Don't wait too long, son," Harry said to his back and Albus paused in the door way. He rapped his knuckles on the wooden door way and glanced over his shoulder. Harry's forehead was wrinkled in the same manner his always was. "I won't."

But he did.

-&-

He put it off for as long as he could bear, until it was just too much to handle, and then he surrendered. After work, his forehead perpetually wrinkled, he grabbed a handful of floo powder and clearly said his brother's name. James and his wife, Elektra, jumped apart from each other on the couch, startled at his sudden intrusion. "Err... hi, Al. What's up," his brother asked, waving slightly. Elektra smiled, "Hello, Al. What brings your, uh, head in?"

"I need to talk to you, James. Can I come over?"

James quirked an eyebrow at his brother's worried tone. Albus was a natural worry wart, but something really bad must have happened to warrant a visit. "Sure, Al. Be my guest," he said and just as soon as Al's head disappeared, the rest of his body tumbeled through the chimney. He coughed and tried to wipe the soot from his face. Of course, he didn't get all of it and James grinned toothily.

"I'm going to make some tea," Elektra stated and rose from the couch, leaving her husband and brother-in-law to speak in private. Albus really did look rather frazzeled, to say the least. "It's Lily," he coughed and James instantly sobered. "What is it," he asked, getting to his feet and pinning his brother with a stern look. "I don't know where she is now and last night she came over and she'd been roughed up." At this, James's eyes widened and he swore loudly. "Who did it?!"

"She wouldn't tell me," Albus answered miserably. He hung his head and James swore again. "What is it," Elektra said, edging into the living room and worriedly looking at her husband's livid face. "Lily's gone missing," James explained and Elektra gasped. "What happened?!" Albus groaned, "I don't know. She just came over with her face all bruised and started crying. I tried to get her to tell me who did it, but she just got angry and ended the conversation. You know her," he finished lamely and James sighed, sliding his hand down his face irritably. "Yeah, I know her..." He trailed off, then he looked back to his brother, alarmed, "Does Dad know?!"

"No."

"Why the hell not, Al?!"

Al shrunk under his brother's angry glare. "I don't know. I just didn't tell him. I thought maybe Lily would write me back... and she asked me not to tell anyone..." He went silent and wilted under the intensity of his brother's glare. "That's no excuse," James barked and stormed from the room. Elektra tried to soothe Al, "It'll be fine, Al... I'm sure it'll be fine." She absent mindedly patted his shoulder and tucked a stray lock of white blond hair behind her ear, peering down the hall way. James stormed back into the room and sat down, yanking his boots on and jamming a hat on over his ears. "Let's go!"

"Go where," Al asked and James scoffed. "We're going to look for her! What else," he jeered and stalked to the front door, jerking it open. He gestured for Al to leave first. As soon as Elektra and he exchanged a small kiss and closed the door, he drilled into his brother again. "What were you thinking, Al?! She could be hurt and Merlin knows what else," he swore again and again and Al felt like a prize idiot. "I know," he kept moaning and thumping his fist against his thigh as they walked. James stopped abruptly. "We're fucking idiots," he suddenly said and Al looked bewildered at him.

"What," the younger brother asked and James grabbed his arm. "Hey, what're you-"

Al didn't have time to ask his question though, because the next moment, James had side-along apparated them to a familiar place.

-&-

Hugo Weasley was Lily Potter's security blanket. As some of the youngest Weasley clan members, they'd learned to get along fairly quickly. They grew to downright like one another and even if they weren't relatives, they would have been inseparable. At Hogwarts, people had thought that they were twins with how alike they were in appearance. Lily had long, flame red hair that hung to the middle of her back and a blanket of freckles across her nose. Hugo matched her almost exactly. The only difference being that his hair wasn't quite as vibrant as hers and was significantly shorter. They'd both been sorted into Gryffindor the same year and clung to one another like life preservers the first day. After that, it just stuck and they spent almost all their time together.

Nearly four years after graduation, their bond was just beginning to waver. And quite frankly, Lily didn't like it. For that very reason, she decided to go see him. She'd left about an hour after Al fell asleep and boarded the tube and began her way toward Hugo's small, London flat on the outskirts of the city. Some wizards might say doing things the muggle way was primitive, but Lily rather enjoyed riding the tube occasionally. It gave her time to think, which is exactly what she needed to do. Taking care to hide her freshly bruised cheek behind a curtain of hair, she gazed at her hands clasped in her lap.

Guiltily, she wondered when was the last time she'd seen Hugo. A month ago? Two? She cringed and blinked back tears. After graduation, they'd both entered the family business as Uncle George's trainees. She fondly remembered the hideous Jester's hat their Uncle used to make them wear and the matching apron's labeled 'Jester trainee.' They'd hated them with a passion. Nevertheless, they'd put up with them for almost two whole years until Hugo decided the small business life wasn't for him. Lily hated listening to him when he insisted, "It's time for us to grow up, Lil." And then he left and she followed shortly after, though with hardly the conviction he possessed.

While Hugo knew what he wanted to do with his life, Lily was at a loss. She had no idea what she wanted to do with the next twenty minutes, let alone the next twenty years. Not three days after his resignation from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Hugo was at work with his mother at the Ministry. He wasn't a lawyer like her, but he was still successful. He even bought the flat over in London with his own money. Over time, he simply left Lily to her devices. Unfortunately, it was her first time to truly be alone and she wasn't sure what to do. It didn't feel right going home because she was sure she was a failure to the family. She bounced from place to place for awhile, visiting every Weasley home aside from her own. Eventually, the Weasleys house holds did run out and there was nowhere else to go. So... she resorted to going home with the men she met each night. Sometimes, she picked a winner and stayed with him for a few weeks or a month or, even rarer, two. Other times, she drew the rotten apple from the barrel and ended up at Hugo's place. He always took her in and helped her out, no questions asked.

Hugo had always been brilliant like that. He was funny, understanding, kind, and loving. In Hogwarts, he was smart like his mother and was always first in their year. It was difficult for Lily to keep up with him and she struggled through several night's study sessions to make sure she did. Eventually, they were both appointed Prefects their fifth year and she was secretly surprised that she'd been chosen as well. The first time she really had to deal with being apart from him, though, was when he became Head Boy their seventh year. She was heart broken when she found out he had his own special dorm away from her and cried for days.

Lily loved James and Albus, but they just weren't the same as Hugo. Sometimes he was wide eyed and innocent like the little brother she never had and other times he seemed larger than life. She looked up to him and took care of him at the same time and he loved her unconditionally. It didn't matter to him what mistakes she made and he rarely expected anything from her. That's what she liked about him so much. He was never disappointed; now if only she could see that her father was like that, too. She was convinced that he saw her as a huge disappointment and dishonor to the family and because of that... she was scared to go home.

It wasn't like she didn't see them, though. Every Christmas and birthday, without fail, she showed up at the Burrow like every other Weasley. She just found ways to avoid her mother and father as much as possible. In contrast, she really enjoyed seeing her brothers on those occasions. They'd taught her to play Quidditch just as well as they did, and for that, she was always grateful. That was another way she differed from Hugo. He may have been able to out score her without so much as blinking, but she could out fly him any day. Laughing quietly to herself, she recalled one of the few times Hugo had conceded and played Quidditch with them at the Burrow one year. He was so banged up and bruised afterwards that he joked, "Maybe I'll play for the Cannons some year, eh?" Ron laughed just as hard as the rest of them.

Lily wasn't really sure why she'd gone to Albus last night. She just... did. Damned mistake if you ask me, she bitterly thought to herself and watched her knuckles go white as her hands formed fists. He's going to blab to James and before you know, Dad will know too... Lily cursed her brothers and sighed irritably. Really, they were such children-- couldn't they deal with something on their own without running off to Daddy? Besides, it's not like I'm in any real danger. Clearing her head as her stop came, Lily stepped out the tube and onto the deserted platform. Casting an eye about for any spectators, she found none and was gone within an instant. She apparated right onto Hugo's door steps and rose her hand to knock, then drew it back to glance at the watch on her wrist. One oh one A.M... Hugo could be up. Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to at least try, she rapped sharply on the door three times. Then, she folded her arms and waited for him to answer.

He didn't. This time, Lily knocked harder and twice as long. When he still didn't answer, Lily growled and pressed her ear against the door, contemplating using Alomahora. Unfortunately, she found that Hugo had placed some very unyielding guards on his house. Frustrated, Lily threw her hands up and stalked down the steps and to the closest window she assumed was to his bedroom. When she knocked on it (incessantly, might I add) and called his name, he suddenly appeared. He swept back his bedroom curtains with a furious look on his red face. His hair was disheveled and Lily clearly heard him even through the window when he growled, "What the hell?!"

Smiling triumphantly, she waved at him and the anger whistled out of him as he stared, perplexed at her sudden presence. She gestured towards the front door and he disappeared, coming to unlock the door for her. There was one light on in his sitting room as he came and enveloped her in his arms. He was a sight for sore eyes as he pulled back from her, concern written on his face. "Is somethin' the matter, Lil?" He was taller than hell, towering over her as her eyes trained on his naked collar bone.

Now that she took the time to examine him, all he was wearing was a pair of jeans and he hadn't even bothered to button them up. How suspicious... She narrowed her eyes at the sight, smiled, then brought her eyes up to meet his. The smile on her face quickly vanished at her cousin's look of recognition, seeing her bruise for the first time. Hugo sucked ina deep breath through his teeth as he reached up to brush Lily's hair aside. "Hugo, don't," Lily's hand shot out to grip his wrist and she shook her hair back into her face. "It's nothing!"

"Nothing? Then what are you doing here at one in the morning, Lil?" His face was pained, concern clearly written on it as he waited for her answer. She folded her arms and huffed, "Honestly, Hugo! Can't a girl visit her cousin, not to mention her BEST friend, sometimes without needing a reason?" Hugo rolled his eyes and resigned himself to sighing. "Of course, Lil. Wait here," he said and disappeared down the dark hallway behind him. Lily watched his freckled back for a moment and pursed her lips worriedly. Then, letting her eyes travel back down the hallway, she saw a familiar face. And it was not in a painting on the wall..

"Anne?!"

Anne Longbottom was her second to best friend behind Hugo at Hogwarts. She had long, wavy dark hair that fell just past her bust and big, blue eyes framed in long eye lashes. She hadn't changed at all, aside from the fact that she was... sleeping with Hugo?! She was gripping a sheet tightly to her naked form and her eyes were wider than usual. Her pale cheeks went scarlet and she hastily wrapped the thin sheet she was holding around her sparrow boned frame. "Lily?!" The girl known as Anne squeaked and Lily could easily tell there was a blush traveling up her neck. Merlin's sake, even the girl's ears were turning red!

"You and Hugo," Lily asked incredulously and her mouth gaped open as she took in the girl's general appearance. She did seem flustered and her pink lips did look suitably well kissed and bruised... And well, she was naked. Anne nodded slightly, her cheeks painfully pink, and Lily turned around hastily. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry," she gushed and bumped right into Hugo. "What," he asked and Lily looked up at him, flabbergasted. "You could have told me!"

"Told you what," he asked, confused, then he saw Anne standing there behind his cousin looking embarrassed and broke into a huge grin. "Oh! About me and Annie?!" His laughter bubbled up his throat and Lily swatted his chest, rather hard, if he did say so himself. "You could have told me you were... you know," she trailed off awkwardly and averted her eyes. Hugo laughed even harder, "Well what do you expect, Lil? I'm suppose to kick you out when you're all banged up so I can get a shag in?"

Lily's face turned red and Hugo took the opportunity to sober himself. "Now then," he said and gripped Lily's shoulder tightly, steering her towards the only couch in his flat. "Sit," he commanded and turned back to his girlfriend. "I'll be right back," he announced over his shoulder and followed Anne into his bedroom. Meanwhile, Lily frowned and furrowed her eyebrows. "Honestly... I could just leave."

-&-

Hugo and Anne had rejoined her fairly quickly, Anne clothed in a long shirt of Hugo's and nothing else. They sat up and talked for an hour and then Lily was left to her own devices again. An hour and a half later, Lily was trying and failing miserably to fall asleep on Hugo's couch. It's pokey, she crossly thought, tossing and turning. It was old and worn out and she shuddered to think what had transpired on this very couch. Then again, Lily didn't have the couch alone to blame for her restlessness. Truth be told, she was kept up by thoughts of her ex. The longer she lay still, the easier it was for her thoughts to turn to Van; Van Zabini, a very old acquaintance from her days back at Hogwarts. She'd dated him once in her fifth year and didn't remember it was him at the pub until he pointed it out himself.

He was unbelievably pissed already when she asked to stay at his place and he said yes, of course. They hailed a taxi in muggle London because he was much too drunk to disapparate. "Might end up splinched," he kept slurring and Lily kept nodding, balancing him on her shoulder. She didn't mind all that much. She'd went home with worse. He copped a feel or two as well, but she'd grown accustomed to that, too.

When they got to the shabby thing he called a flat, he collapsed on the couch and dragged Lily down with him. "Give us a kiss," he muttered and basically squished her face between his two large, tan hands as he pushed his lips sloppily against hers. Lily scrunched her nose distastefully but let him carry on nonetheless. Satisfied after he'd felt her up quite a bit, Van fell asleep and snored all night long, much to Lily's chagrin.

And that was her first night with Van in a nutshell. The next morning, he woke up, puked, and went back to sleep. Lily stayed up, tidying his place as she waited for him to rouse again. When he finally did, it was well into the evening hours and she'd already had lunch and was preparing supper. Lily smiled as she held a glass of hangover potion out for him to take. He groggily did and didn't even grimace when the vile potion slid its' way down his throat. He must be used to taking them, Lily off handed noted and asked, "Hungry?"

For the next three weeks, he and Lily were satisfied. She stayed at his house when he went off to work and made sure it was clean when he came back and he got what he wanted out of her, too. She didn't mind; it was a place to stay. Sometimes they went out at night, but Lily never drank. All those years, she never did. She found that drinking clouded her vision and ability to think and couldn't stand the feeling.

She and Van could have been perfectly happy, had it not been for the night before. She could have stayed with him a lot longer. After all, he was a generally nice guy, albeit rather quiet. She liked it when they didn't ask questions and Van couldn't care less what she'd done before him. It wasn't until he came home after drinking, one of the rare times he went without her, and tried to force himself on her that it got ugly.

Normally, she didn't mind just doing it. But that night, he ripped the covers off her and started touching her, startling her from her sleep. She was scared and disoriented, so she hexed him. She thoughtlessly did it and didn't even realize the damage she'd caused until Van retaliated, cursing and swearing as he back handed her at full force across her cheek. Stars exploded in her vision and Lily stumbled from bed. Van followed after her clumsily and she grabbed her small hand bag, which contained everything she owned, and disappeared in an instant.

That is where Lily drew the line; she never let anyone treat her like that. No one got away with hitting her, no matter the excuse. She would leave and never go back, in that case. Lily huffed and rolled over on the couch, jamming her fist into the innocent pillow Hugo'd provided her with. Stupid... When Lily finally fell asleep, tears soaked her pillow.

What do you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Just let me know... puhleez?
subliminal message reads: click the little button!