Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: I can safely say that Snape/Lily is the most adorable thing out – aside from Teddy Lupin. So, I wrote this. Nuff said.
Snape died before Lily did in this fanfiction – just so you know – and this goes from first year to seventh year, and then skips to two years after graduation. A lot of things from Snape's memories are overlooked, and a little bit of the timeline regarding the Marauder's era is jumbled (Lily doesn't defend Severus when James is taunting him, and it happens in fourth, not fifth year.)
I really tried, in the First Year section, to capture the innocence I think Lily would have had and the hostility that I can see Snape developing. Let me know how I did. Also, Snape and Lily didn't meet prior to Hogwarts.
PS: I know the Tri-Wizard Tournament (in normal HP time) happens during Harry, Hermione and Ron's fourth year and is not an annual contest, so I decided to put it into their fifth year – just because. And please don't tell me that "they have to be seventeen to enter", because that rule was instated in the trio's fourth year, due to the safety and security issues brought about by Voldemort's return. So, there. Oh, and Snape and Lily have never met before.
First Year:
He sat under the same tree every single day, with a different book every time. Lily wondered whether he ever finished any of the ones he started.
One day, curiosity over-ruled reason and logic.
She ran down the hill to the lake – she never got over the Giant Squid – and tapped the boy on the shoulder.
Severus Snape turned to face a red-haired girl after he felt two sharp taps on his hunched shoulder.
"Yes?"
Lily cocked her head. "What are you doing here by yourself?"
The greasy-haired boy held up his book as a reply.
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Don't you get awful lonely out here?"
Snape shook his head. "There's a difference between being alone and being lonely, you know."
"Oh… Well, I should get going then…" She turned around, but then stopped and turned back to face him. He had already returned his attention back to the thick book. "Unless you'd like me to stay…"
His head whipped up so fast, Lily almost got whiplash. "What?"
"I said: Unless you'd like me to stay." She paused. "Well, would you?"
"If you'd like to…" A pink tinge rose under his sallow cheeks. "I mean, I'm not forcing you to or anything…"
"Oh, hush." She sat down next to him. They were quiet for a few moments. "Well, are you going to tell me what you are reading or not?"
He looked up, alarmed, the pink tinge making an adorable reappearance. She giggled and lifted up the front cover of the book.
Second Year:
"Sev?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"You're good at Potions, right?"
"You're my Potions partner, so am I?"
"Well, yeah, that's why I'm asking you: What do you get when you add wormwood and Acromantula venom together with an infusion of asphodel?"
"Lily, we learnt this today." She glanced back at him blankly. "Nothing! They neutralise the other ingredients – that's why they are never used in the same potion."
"Just checking." She quipped. "Hey, Sev?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"What is the most effective way to release the juices of a Sopophorous bean?"
"I crush mine – the textbook says to cut it, but I find that the juices are extracted more effectively if you crush."
"Mmhmm, just checking." More silence followed where the two worked independently. "Seeeev?"
"Liiiiiily?"
"How do you spell extracted?"
"E-X-T-R-A-C-T-E-D."
"I was just checking."
"Oh, honestly!"
She giggled and he smiled.
They fell into a comfortable silence, until –
"Hey, Snivellus!"
"Great." Snape muttered under his breath.
"We can leave, Sev, if you'd like. I can't see them anywhere – Oh, there they are."
"I'm really not in the mood to deal with Potter and his stupid cronies, today. Sorry, Lil. We can study later on, if you like."
"Don't worry about it, it's not like I need your help anyway." She smiled devishly and Severus grinned.
"Oh, of course not."
Third Year:
"Lily! LILY! LIIIILY!" Severus called.
She turned from her friends, who were giggling at the blush that rose high on Lily's face.
"Yes, Sev?"
He finally reached her and, panting, said, "You will never guess what I just found!"
His brows furrowed when one of the girls whispered, "Shampoo?"
Lily turned around and glared. "Don't mind them, Sev. What did you find?"
He grabbed her hand and pulled her up so she was standing. "I have to show you."
They raced up into the castle, and clambered up countless moving staircases until they came across a tapestry of a man teaching trolls to dance. Lily expected Snape to utter a password, but he turned to face the blank wall opposite the portrait.
He stepped forward and began pacing. Lily gave him a look that clearly implied that she thought he was going mad. He smiled and shook his head.
He paced back and forth across the blank wall twice, and Lily asked, "Sev, what is going -"
A door was rapidly materializing in front of her eyes. "What – I mean, how?"
"The Come-and-Go Room or the Room of Requirement. I did some research." He said. "Comes fully equipped with whatever you need or desire at the precise moment you… walk past it three times…"
Lily had already walked inside before he could finish the sentence.
He followed her through the door and found her gaping in astonishment at the splendid room – complete with strawberries and watermelon (Lily's two favourite Muggle foods) and Pumpkin Pasties with bowls and bowls of desserts everywhere. There was a piano (Severus' secret) and a large filing cabinet full of sheet music.
"Go on, then. Eat. I know you want to." He said as he made his way over to the sleek, black Grand Piano.
He reached over to the filing cabinet and pulled out a selection from Lily's favourite musical, Phantom of the Opera. He set up the paper on the piano and began to play. Lily gasped and rushed over to the piano, barely containing her excitement.
"Oh, God! I love this musical!" Severus just smiled.
Fourth Year:
"Goodness me, Severus. How did you do that this time?" Lily wiped the red fluid of Severus' face with a tissue.
"I didn't do it." Severus said.
"Well, who did?"
"Who do you think?"
"Uh, James?"
"Yes, James..." Severus scoffed. "The tosser hung me upside down and took off my pants."
"Then what happened to your nose?"
"I fell on my face when he let me go."
"Why did he do it in the first place?"
"I was defending you." He blushed. "He kept saying that you were going to fall in love with the Giant Squid because you couldn't get anyone else…" His eyes got dark. "I told him off, so he did… that."
"Oh…" she mumbled. "Oh, well."
Lily fixed the broken bone with a quick Episkey and wiped the remaining blood off. "All done."
She sat back on her heels and said, "Are you okay, Sevvy?"
He snorted. "Sevvy?"
"I thought it was cute…" she said dejectedly.
"It is…" Severus said quickly.
"Good, I'm glad you think so." She stood up. "I have to go give that stupid snot-face a piece of my mind." She kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you later, Sev."
She wandered back up to the castle, determined to sock James Potter in the face.
She didn't turn back, though – for if she did, she would have seen the blushing Severus smiling, three fingers pressed to the place her lips had touched.
Fifth Year:
"Wowwie, the Tri-Wizard Tournament, can you believe it?"
Lily and Severus lay beside each other on the grass near the Lake.
"It's a wonderful event. Dangerous, but wonderful."
"Who do you reckon will enter?"
"From Hogwarts?"
"From anywhere…"
"I reckon Charlotte DeChavré will enter, and I'm almost sure that Alexander Jiksnovy will try – apparently he's a bit of a thrill-seeker." He waited a little while. "I was thinking of going in, too."
She was silent. Severus inched his hand closer to hers. She finally spoke. "Sev?"
"Mmm?"
"James asked me out today."
He retracted his hand. "Oh?" he said, dread welling up in his chest and behind his eyes.
She turned her head to look at him. "I said no."
He exhaled a sigh of relief and put his hand back where it was. "What did he say after that?"
""He kind of just nodded and walked away."
He inched his hand closer, so their fingertips touched.
"I don't want you to put your name in that stupid Goblet, Sev." She whispered. "I don't want my best friend to die."
She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.
"I won't enter, not if you don't want me to."
"Good." She yawned. "I'm tired."
"I can take you back to your dormitory, if you like."
She rolled over onto her stomach, resting her head on his chest. "You know, I think I'd like to stay here for a while, if that's okay."
"That's fine with me." He rested one hand on her back and the other ran its fingers through her long, straight, auburn hair. "That's perfectly fine with me."
Sixth Year:
The two best friends sat together underneath what they had dubbed "The Tree."
"Hey, Lily?"
"Yes, sweetums?"
"Okay, never call me that again." Lily smiled. "I – uh, I just – Iloveyou."
"You what?"
"I, uh, love you…?"
Lily stared at him for a few moments too many. "Lily? Are you okay?"
"You love me?"
"Well, yes. I just told you that, but I really don't expect anything from you – not even a response – you just had to know. Just because."
"Well, that's good." Severus' heart spiralled swiftly down into his feet. "Don't look like that – it's good because that way I don't have to tell you."
Confusion fleeted across his still sallow features. "You don't have to tell me…?"
"Yep."
Exasperated, he tried to get her to elaborate. "Tell me what, exactly?"
"That I love you. I didn't want to say it first." She smiled.
He stood there unmoving, absolutely flabbergasted. "What – You – I – Huh?"
She laughed. He did too.
They stood there for a while, until two pairs of eyes poked out from behind a nearby tree.
"Go on, kiss already!" they called.
Lily whirled around. "Alice! Lizzie!" she whined. "Get out of here!"
Severus chuckled. The girls responded, "Not until we see a kiss!"
"Well, they won't leave until they get what they want…" Severus said, waggling his eyebrows slightly.
"Well then, we'll have to do something about that then, won't we?" Lily smirked, before rolling over on the soft grass and kissing Severus softly on the lips.
He looked over Lily's shoulder to find the two girls retreating back up to the castle.
He rested his head on her chin.
"I love you, my lily-flower."
She raised her eyes to meet his.
He pulled his wand from his pocket and conjured up a beautiful long-stemmed white lily. He cast two charms on it. When she gave him a questioning glance, he explained: "Hydration and Ever-lasting charms."
She smiled at him and he handed the flower to her. She held it in her hands and lay back down on his chest. "My beautiful lily-flower…"
Seventh Year:
"How could you?"
"Lily, I didn't have any other choice!" Severus pleaded. "You have to believe me! They expected it of me; I couldn't do anything about it!"
"You could have gone to Dumbledore, Severus!" Lily retorted. "He would've helped you, you know that!"
"Lily, my family would've disowned me!"
She glared angrily at him. "Whatever." She hissed. "Just go back to your little Death Eater buddies and have fun murdering innocent people."
Something inside Severus snapped. "Oh, you know what? I think I just might. It's better than hanging around with a Mudblood."
He instantly regretted what he'd said, because Lily physically recoiled, almost as if she'd been slapped.
Regret bubbled inside him like acid, clawing, tearing, destroying his body, but leaving his cold, black heart until last.
He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. Lily shook her head miserably, tears streaming down her pale face. She turned away from him, but he grabbed her wrist to turn her back around.
He tried to buff over the comment. "Lily, I didn't mean – You know I would never –"
"Save it." She whispered harshly, albeit brokenly. "You've made your choice. Who cares about a stupid little Mudblood like me?
She walked away, trudging through the snow towards the giant castle.
He sunk down into the snow, whispering, "I do…"
He sat there for what felt like years, processing and re-processing what could have possibly compelled him to effectively ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Finally, he pushed himself up weakly and walked back to the castle, following the fading footsteps left behind by the love of his life.
He turned into the corridor on the fourth floor, and his heart exploded into a thousand million tiny, irreparable pieces.
Lily had her arms thrown around James Potter's neck, sniffling into his scarlet and gold emblazoned sweater. He was gently rubbing soothing circles on her back, crooning, "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be fine… I'm here if you want to tell me what happened…" over and over again.
Severus stepped back, heartbroken. James looked up and made eye contact with him, and everything on his face described pure pity and disbelief, but an underlying tone that suggested he was thinking, how could you screw this up, Snivellus?
Snape didn't know, so he fled the corridor. Finding a stuffy alcove behind a statue of a hideous witch, he sunk to the ground. He conjured up another lily, identical to the one before it, except this one's stem was shortened.
He then did something that his father told him Snape's never do. He cried – the thin streams of saltwater ran unbridled down his sunken cheeks, belaying all the grief and anger he felt.
He looked between the hideous snake and skull, twisting and writhing on his left forearm, and the white lily, epitome of the innocence and love he had given up. He knocked his head on the wall behind him, allowing his misery to consume him.
"My beautiful, beautiful lily-flower…"
Two Years after Graduation:
"Severus Snape." The cruel voice sent shivers down his spine, but Severus didn't let his body carry out the violent shake it threatened to.
"Yes, My Lord." He answered formally.
"You understand the severity of what you have done, I sincerely hope." He nodded mournfully, but couldn't help but think this was almost like being reprimanded by a school teacher as a little boy.
The evil man hissed. "Good. You also are aware of the consequences of such an action, yes?"
"I must admit, My Lord, I have not served you for very long. I am not privy to the knowledge of your consequences, My Lord." He answered truthfully.
"Ah, yes. You are one of the young ones, aren't you? The ones who have no restraint?" His voice suddenly turned vicious. "One of the ones who wouldn't hesitate to save the life of a filthy Muggle?"
"My Lord, please, forgive me." Severus pleaded. "I was unaware! It was a compulsion – a knee-jerk reaction, if you will!"
"Severus, Severus, Severus." The white, glowing man laughed. "You must mistake me for someone with compassion for foolish idiocy, like you have displayed here today."
Snape glanced at the woman lying lifeless on the cold stone floor. His master's voice now had a hint of humour in it. "She died, Severus, despite your best efforts. How does that make you feel?" His tone was now patronizing, something Severus did not appreciate, but he held his tongue.
The Dark Lord continued. "Does she remind you of someone, Snape?" Severus hadn't looked away from the woman yet. "Well, does she?"
Yes, she did. She reminded him of the one person he'd ever truly loved, with her flowing, waist-length, auburn hair and her green eyes. Eyes that didn't hold the same sparkle as Lily's did, but reminded him none-the-less.
"Yes, My Lord."
"Too bad. Just another thing for us to pity you for, Snape. Foolish things, emotions." Voldemort snickered. "Oh, well. This is your punishment."
Snape looked at him for a split second, wondering what he was talking about, but Voldemort had flicked his wand before he could process what was happening.
A bright green light was the last thing Severus Snape saw. He fell back onto the floor with a thump, his hand clenched around a white lily hidden in the inside pocket of his billowy robes.
In Godric's Hollow, halfway across Britain, a young woman held a black-haired baby to her chest. She bounced him up and down softly, lulling the child to sleep. The small baby drifted off, and she moved to the next room to lay him down in his crib.
While she was gone, a lily – as white and fresh as the day it was made – wilted in its vase on the nightstand.
Fin.
Revieeews?
