(A/N) ok this is officially my first story and this has been a very slow process not to mention I have no idea what I'm doing and the fact that chapter two is not even finished and my beta takes forever so chapter one is me without her help…*angry face* anyway I just hope it gets better as i go.

Chapter one

Edward POV

I walked down stairs as slowly as possibly. Today would just be the same as every other day before it this week. The storm clouds will continue to hover over Forks as a never ending abyss that is the sky while keeping it only three degrees above freezing or rather that's how the weather man put it, I could never really feel it anymore but keeping up appearances as a vampire was still crucial for me and my family. So I made sure to wear a light jacket all week. Something to at least make everyone think I was human enough to feel the chill of the wind but at the same time I couldn't care less about what any human thought but even though I don't care I always have to hear them. Being able to read minds and never be able to deactivate the ability is a blessing and a curse. Secrets can't be hidden from me, not like I cared to really talk to anyone but my family so it's ok to know the little things they try to hide, hate and envy can't just be covered up by a feigned smile, usually received from the kids at school which I really don't understand how me just existing could make them hate or envy me because their minds just seemed to be set on automatic when I walk by so no real reason ever surfaced in their thoughts, but at least the one thing I could look forward to was the fact of always knowing when someone was trying to approach and talk to me, avoiding people became the easiest thing ever and that kind of makes me smile. My thoughts were interrupted though once Alice met me at the base of the stairs. Her mind was overjoyed at the fact that it was the last day of school. Even though it was after graduation ever since I could remember it was kind of like our little vampire tradition to still always go the last day.

"Edward" she said in a not so joyful tone while observing the nonchalant countenance of my face. Her joyful thoughts then began to sway in a different direction. "I really don't want you to think you have to go just for me. You can stay home If you want" while the disappointment was evident in her voice and a back thought of 'but I still wish you would go anyway' rang loud in my head.

"It's okay I really don't have anything else better to do and besides I know you really want me to go with you" I couldn't help but point out the small fact since it wasn't just in her thoughts but also written in her face. Alice's spirit was quickly uplifted at my words and attached herself to my arm as she dragged me out of the door and to my car. Jasper was already inside and sitting in the back seat. Emmet and Rosalie were already gone by the time I reached the garage and I'm guessing that's because I was moving so slow today.

We arrived at the school actually late which was a surprise seeing how I was usually speeding over the pavement ever time my cold lead foot even touched a gas pedal. Alice and I walked into the connecting buildings bypassing the front office and strolling into our class. Sitting down in my chair made me realize two things. Today would still be long and that without Bella here it would be even longer. She left last week and that's when all my absent minded mopping began. She left because of that stupid mutt -Jacob. She was so torn between having her best friend love her and trying to love me she said she would leave after graduation and she did. It was all 'his' fault and I hoped he knew it. I knew Bella loved me without a doubt but every time 'he' came around

...

I guess what I was doing wasn't as mental as I thought it was seeing how people's thoughts drifted towards the fact that I looked as if I was fuming over something, which i was. The second thing just as soon as my mind drifted to Bella that I realized was I really needed some peace and quiet. All of the other people around me didn't make my head the quietest place but at this point other people's thoughts never bothered me but it was something about the silence that was so serene. When the bell rang I just walked out of class but Alice was on my arm in seconds with Jasper not to far behind. Her eyes met mine in her usual all knowing glance.

"I wasn't really going to leave" I defended myself.

"Yes you were but it alright Ed. I told you that you didn't have to come for my benefit." she said smiling still.

"Ok so I 'can' leave?" I questioned while still feeling her death grip.

"No. Well not until lunch anyway."

The smile on her face didn't waver and all of a sudden she was, in her head, singing one song in every different language she knew. That could only mean she was hiding something and Alice was good at hiding her thoughts when she really didn't want me to know. I was about to ask about Alice's thoughts when Jasper put his hand on my shoulder.

'Just let it go she won't tell you' Jasper thought I guess feeling my sudden change of emotion from upset to curious while starring at Alice. 'We should really get to class.'

Time passed slowly but it was finally time for lunch. Time for me to rid myself of this school that held so many memories and pain. I walked into the cafeteria and found Alice, Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie all already sitting down with trays of food they weren't going to eat. I walked up to the table and looked at Alice with a hint of remorse because I really didn't want to leave her.

"So I'm taking it you're not going to tell me why I had to wait until lunch to leave?" asking the question that I was pondering earlier today,

"Not at all." smiled to little pixie who seemed overjoyed at the fact that I still couldn't read her mind to figure out her dastardly plan. She then grabbed an apple that was sitting perfectly on her tray and held it up. "Trade you".

"For what? I didn't bring anything today"

"Your keys silly. I know you want to clear your mind. You tell me about it later and the best way for you is always going for a run. Don't worry about your car we'll get home before you anyway."

"Ok" I said hesitantly taking out the keys to my Volvo and handing them to Alice while at the same time retrieving the apple from her hand that was placed near my face. I was never really the one to let my feelings show. Bella was one person that I didn't really mind showing them to but Alice she gave me no choice seeing how it always seemed like she was up to something and I couldn't help but let my curiosity flow out of me and be curious towards someone who could close off their mind. She stood up with a smirk and hugged me.

"Don't enjoy yourself to much". Alice sat down and waved good-bye.

I waved back with much less enthusiasm and walked out of the cafeteria. I was so glad to have the darker than usual grey clouds over head. Once I got past the parking lot and to thick evergreen forest my stroll turned into high speed blurring.

The trees past at blinding speed and I managed to gracefully move around them with ease. For once this whole entire week I felt... calm and at peace. I slowed down my run only to notice exactly where I had stopped. The small clearing Bella and I would come to for reading and relaxing. I could smell her scent lingering faintly. I lied down in the flowers filling myself with what was left of get scent. I turned onto my back to look at the sky. I was so glad it hadn't rained and washed away her scent but at the same time I was anxious while waiting for it to rain. I turned my head to let it rest on my arm to only notice the bright red apple that I was still holding in my left hand.

Then a single thought entered my mind...'FOOD'

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Jacob POV

I absolutely got no sleep last night. Staying awake thinking about Bella was driving me crazy. She's gone and I don't know when I will ever see her again. No one was surprised that I didn't get any sleep. While I was patrolling with Seth he was practically begging me to stop whining about Bella and to think of something else. I tried naming food that I liked but somehow it just ended up turning into a list of food Bella liked. The rest of the pack just kept complaining that if I didn't get her off my mind they would be more than glad to help me and their not to friendly thoughts accompanied by the same not so friendly pictures had me more focused than ever on patrolling the Rez.

Finally when I came down stairs this dreary morning Sam was talking to Billy about my obsession and loss of Bella and how it was keeping me unfocused. I mean what was I suppose to do or think about when the girl I loved left because of some leech. I walked out of the back door and phased immediately to gain the most ground so I wouldn't have to hear the conversation. Even though the gray clouds blocked out the sun I could tell it wasn't really morning anymore. I hopped across the border but not before diving down into the small stream that acted like an invisible border line. When I reached the other side a shook my fur dry. I needed my scent to be washed away enough so no one could find me right away. I needed time to think and come to terms with the new direction my life was headed in, one without Bella.

I phased back putting on the faded blue shorts that were tied to my leg. It just made me so mad no one understood what I was going through. I mean maybe Sam did understand but he showed no signs. Paul,Embry, and Quil would just have told me to take it like a man cause it's not like she was my imprint. Seth would really not understand either being to young or just didn't recognize it as a big problem and Leah would just end up telling me how it was my fault she left from a girls point of view which says all guys are to blame for the bad in relationships but I didn't deserved the pain and heartache. I mentally sighed, and shook my head. So what if no one understood, I am completely fine with it. I 'think' I'm fine with it...ok I'm not fine with it.

I walked in an oddly shaped circle for what seemed like hours until I caught a whiff of something. It was 'food', glorious food. I had forgotten to eat before storming out of the house to think. It smelled like an apple, even though it wasn't something that would fill me up but all in all it was 'something' and an edible 'something' at that. There was an eerie and familiar smell that accompanied it but who cared. stomach came first, and I took off. My feet moved over the grassy and covered with broken tree limbs terrain. My nose led me to the edge of a clearing and I saw it. I must have been really hungry because that one apple was all I could focus on. 'FOOD' I thought while running full speed and pouncing on the red morsel.

"UH-OH" I thought. I don't think an apple should have a cold hand connected to it.

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