Prologue
A long ass fucking time ago there was a beginning where a monkey came down from a tree stopped flinging shit and started stabbing other monkeys with pointed sticks. Slowly but surly the monkeys learned that there were a lot more new and exciting ways to kill each other and started refining the art. Eventually the monkeys found that with a couple glowing rocks and a little elbow grease they could kill millions of other monkeys and they were happy.
Well after a while one big country which is a collection of monkeys had a lot of these glowing rock contraptions and they started telling the world what to do, but another equally big country developed a bunch and told the first country that if they wanted to play then they would play. And these countries went like this for like forty years and eventually they stopped but something insignificant and yet wholly significant happened. One small country split into two this country was called Korea the north part was called North Korea (what a shock) and the south part was called (get this) South Korea. Now this wasn't significant until one of these crazy monkeys that was in charge of the north part went even crazier and started to try to push the rest of the planet around. And needless to say the first big country didn't like this at all.
The north part of Korea attacked the south part and it returned to just Korea. This all happened like two thousand and eleven years after a guy got nailed to a tree for saying how cool it would be to be nice to each other for a change. But I digress because a third large country got into the mix and it and the second one aligned behind the newly formed Korea. And the first big country tried to go over and put North Korea in its place and let them know what's up, you know smack them around but the other big countries started the whole if you want to play we'll play shit again. Unfortunately for the rest of the planet the monkey running Korea… wanted to play.
Korea lobbed couple glowing rocks at the first country which happened to be called the United States of America. The first one hit at three A.M. in the eastern time zone on December 21, 2012 the next three A.M. in the central time zone and the final one three A.M. in the pacific time zone it was clear Korea wanted to send a message. And the U.S.A. sent there own message back. They decided to blow a whole for a border between North and South Korea; the other two countries (China and Russia) didn't like this and decided to teach the US a lesson. By the end of the year twenty nine cities in Californian alone were decimated and over three hundred across America including Washington D.C. and New York.
In the months before the war the U.S. decided to try to create a super solider this was called the R.I.G.H.T.E.O.U.S. project. Which is an extremely long and boring acronym that simply means that they lived 30x longer, they were 20x stronger and faster than any human, they were resent to all disease, and radiation. They were perfect and like every project there were prototypes and these prototypes were some of the worst fuck ups in existence. There was one proto type that produced a mutated form of R.I.G.H.T.E.O.U.S. that they called EVIL. That wasn't an acronym but it was as its name suggested it was truly evil. It provided you with the same advantages as R.I.G.H.T.E.O.U.S. except in the presence of radiation it caused the most excruciating pain imaginable and it caused a fast decent in to insanity. They became extremely violent and wanted nothing other than to kill… it was horrible. Unfortunately both R.I.G.H.T.O.U.S. and EVIL ended up fused with a form of the common cold and both were unleashed on the world.
The last part of this horror tale came from the Russians because you see they were doing some biological work of there own. They created a disease that was a mutated form of leprosy but it was slower and felt like you were being dipped in a bath of acid. It has some long boring Latin or Russian name but in the U.S. it's just called the Bath. It had one of the same unfortunate side affects as EVIL where they could not be exposed to radiation lest face excruciating pain. So the Russians decided to spread this horror across America.
And so America split in to five pieces there were the east countries that went as far as the Mississippi. From Missouri to the north was the United States and to the south was the Confederate States (hey Custard was right the south did rise again). Then from the Mississippi to the Rockies there was a part down to about Colorado that fused with Canada and there was the Peoples Republic of America south of that. And the final part was in the west and they liked to call themselves Westland. So in the end America got to be what they always wanted a fucked to death pile of burning ca-ca but instead they were five fucked to death irradiated piles burning of ca-ca that are infected with two diseases and a super race that hated humans for what happened to the earth. So you can under stand why when you meet a native they wont say hello they will welcome you to their country with a hardy "Welcome to hell".