Hey, Jason, this is for you, because I know you'll have to find out sooner or later what was wrong with your big sis for a while. This is why people always make jokes about trees in front of me, and why they call me "Pinecone Face". That's because I was once a pine tree. But- worry not. There were perks:

1)I love how I aged slowly, so I don't look like an older, older sister.

2)Then they won't say, "Isn't that your mom?"

3)And it'll save me some embarrassment.

4)I was a pine tree.

5)So I wasn't one of those nasty, fart smelling trees.

6)No one sprays perfume on trees.

7)So I didn't have to worry about Aphrodite girl Gaga fans spraying "Monster" on me.

8)Although it might smell good.

9)Trees don't eat.

10)So once I came out of the tree, HELLO SLIM BODY!

11)Sorry for that.

12)I love how I didn't have to go to school for 7 years!

13)I mean seriously, who wouldn't celebrate that?

14)I love how, since 7 years passed, I came right into the action!

15)So as soon as I came out, I got to beat something up.

16)Because 7 years without punching something can be Hades!

17)I got to think about you for as much as I wanted.

18)If I hadn't been a tree, I probably would have never become a Huntress.

19)Although boys do find it hard to ignore this face, anyway!

20)I came out during the rock era, so I get to listen to good music! 3 Doors Down! NickelBack!

21)Converse became more stylish since I became a tree, so I get cool kicks.

22)This is the 21st Century.

23)So wearing all black isn't that weird anymore.

24)Because when Luke met me, he looked at me weird.

25)And it made me feel self-conscious.

26)And maybe a little more than that.

27)I have really awesome friends.

28)If I hadn't changed into a tree, who knows who I'd be friends with?

28)Possibly someone less cooler.

29)I love how Zeus struck me just when I blinked.

30)'Cause I got sooooome beauty sleep.

31)What? Even Hunters of Artemis like to look pretty sometimes.

32)I love how I heard some juicy rumors people said around my tree.

33)Like did you know Katie lost her "V- card" to Connor?

34)Or that Annabeth has kissed Charles Beckendorf?

35)Or that Percy once accidentally kissed Chiron's butt before?

36)I love how I missed when Britney Spears went cuckoo.

37)Because I hate celebrity drama.

38)Too bad I didn't miss Lindsey Lohan's cuckoo moments.

39)It just makes me want to be a tree again.

40)Seriously.

So there you go, Jason. Don't worry about Thalia! I'm sorta glad I was a tree. Too bad they make pine tree jokes.