SONG OF MINE

AN: This is very close to my heart. Please be kind.

Prologue

You never thought you'd be here again. Not 'here' here, but in this same situation. The room fills with the sounds of a pencil scratching a pad. Or is it a pen? You don't even dare glance up to check for yourself. You feel awkward. Like you don't belong here. You did nothing wrong, you think to yourself. If only that were true.

"Are you ready to start?" He asks softly from his seat in front of you. You don't move. Instead, your eyes continue to stare at your hands fidgeting in your lap. "Santana," He calls out again and this time you hesitantly look up. He smiles and nods, "You don't need to be afraid. This is a safe place."

You quietly scoff at that. Safe place?

"I know this must be hard for you," He continues, and you look back down at your hands, "But I'm not like those other therapists. I don't believe in what they believe in. I just want to 'help' you. Not 'heal' you."

"I don't need to be healed."

"I know that. And I'm glad that you know that." He nods, and you look back up at him. "There's a reason you came here, Santana. Help me understand why."

You think about it for a few seconds before shaking your head. He's right but you're just being stubborn. "I'm scared." You tell him softly, looking away again. You try to focus your attention on something, anything but the person sitting in front of you.

"Scared of what?" He questions as he scribbles down a note.

"So much." You sigh. "But mostly, I'm scared of how self-destructive I am."

He stares at you for a second before he hums, nodding in acceptance of your candidness.

"Why don't we start from the beginning." He offers and you breathe out a steadying breath. The beginning. You close your eyes and sink into the seat a little more comfortably. You need to be open to this. You need to heal.

"I never thought I'd be teaching at a school like that." You laugh dryly, "Grace Christian Academy – Music teacher, Santana Lopez."

"Doesn't sound so bad," He shrugs, trying to lighten the mood a little, "Kinda has a ring to it."

"I thought so, too." You nod. "I thought it was a great opportunity, you know? Teaching at a well-known school, even if it was a religious one." You still can't believe you applied and accepted the position, knowing full well what their views were on your particular 'lifestyle'.

"But now?"

You take a deep breath, "Now, I think I wouldn't be sitting here if I hadn't met her." You duck your head in an attempt to hide the shakiness of your voice at the mention of a particular blonde.

He doesn't say anything. You can hear his pencil connect to paper again and you close your eyes. You can still remember every detail. The first time you ever saw her she was shuffling papers on her desk. The soft sounds of the room right now associate to the same ones you heard in her classroom that day and you can almost smell her perfume now.

You take in a breath, a desperate plea in hopes of smelling it, but come up empty. You open your eyes again, exhaling. "She was the math teacher."

He watches you carefully, like he's waiting. He's waiting for you to say it. He's waiting for you to bring your story to life. To give it a name.

"Brittany Pierce," You say softly. "Her name is Brittany Pierce."

This is the beginning of your story.

.

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Act I

Chapter 1: Chapel

The first time you see her she's not even looking at you. She was organizing her desk when you both walked in and now she's looking at the woman next to you. Granted, the woman next to you is the one in charge and you're just the new Music teacher. When Sue, the Principal, turns to you, so does she.

"This is Brittany Pierce, Mathematics – she'll be finishing up the tour for me." Sue motions towards the other blonde and you nod at Brittany, smiling politely. Sue continues, "Brittany here knows all there needs to know about this place, she's been here since the beginning. She was even in our first ever preschool graduating class."

"It's true," Brittany chuckles, smiling brightly at you. "They have the pictures to prove it. You must be?"

You clear your throat, realizing that you've still yet to be properly introduced, "Santana Lopez, Music." You offer your hand to her and she glides her hand into yours, squeezing it slightly.

Brittany nods, probably realizing that you're here for the job opening. Sue takes that as her cue to exit the classroom, leaving the two of you standing there alone. Brittany offers you a seat while she straightens out her papers for organizing later. You don't take the seat but instead decide to slowly walk alongside her classroom walls, taking in the sight of her teachings. She's definitely… interesting.

The rest of the tour goes smoothly and only takes about a half an hour. You tell Brittany that this is your first time on campus, but you've already gone through multiple phone/video interviews with Sue. She smiles at that, telling you that she doesn't want to jinx it but usually that means you got the job. She brings you to your future classroom so that you can see the space you'll eventually be spending a lot of your time.

You make a mental note that it's not that far from Brittany's classroom. It's a small school, nothing is far from anything.

You walk up to the desk in the front and run your fingers over the top. It's a moderately sized classroom and it looks more 'high-tech' in here than Brittany's. Since you'll be teaching music, there is keyboard pianos at every student's desk, each connected to what looks like relatively new computers.

"The private sector sure has its perks." You say mostly to yourself. Brittany hears you and chuckles at that, but she doesn't comment on the remark. Instead she switches on one of the keyboards and begins to softly play a simple piano riff. You smile when you recognize it as Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty.

"It definitely wasn't like this when I was growing up in this school." She states, looking around the room as she takes in all the cool electronics kids have access to nowadays. "But at least now the students have a place they can express themselves in this way."

You nod and continue to watch her. She walks towards you and mimics your earlier motions, tracing her fingers along the outline of your future desk. When she reaches the end, she smiles at you before turning her body and sitting on top of the edge of your desk. You follow suit and do the same.

You suppose the grand tour seems to be done since Brittany has made no other effort to move from this spot. You don't mind though because it's nice to be in here with just you and her. Your feet are slightly dangling and hers are comfortably planted on the floor.

"You know, my high school Math teacher almost killed me." You joke. She turns to look at you with a frown and you hold back your laugh, "She was always so dull. She almost killed me with boredom."

When she relaxes in relief you let yourself smile and she shakes her head at you, giggling. At least you made someone laugh today.

"I like you," She states matter-of-factly. You look at her and she nods her head once in affirmation to emphasize her statement.

You find yourself smiling fully at that, copying her head nod in similar fashion, "I like you, too." She giggles again and soon you both fall into a comfortable quiet as you take in your surroundings.

"Do you like what you see?" Brittany speaks first, and you think for a second before answering her.

"It's a smaller school than I thought." You tell her honestly. The school ranges from preschool all the way to high school and even then, it fits in one building. There's probably less than 500 students that attend. "It's cute though. At least I won't have to only deal with teenagers, tiny humans can be fun sometimes." She smiles at that. "I imagine everyone to be really close with each other."

She laughs, "Well, we look out for our own. The downside is that everyone knows your business. You can't survive here with your head down." Suddenly, she sits up like she just remembered something.

Just then Sue pokes her head into the room, "Don't forget-"

"I know, I know." Brittany interrupts her, and Sue smiles before disappearing once again.

"We missed something?" You're confused because you're pretty sure you walked through the entire school.

"Mhmm." She pats your leg before hopping off the desk, "Come on, I've got to show you one last thing."

You look at her quizzically but follow suit, "I could've sworn we walked through the whole building."

She smiles, "We did. But there's one more, very important part that you've yet to see. It's the other building next door." She explains as she opens the front doors of the school and walks out onto the street. You follow her silently as you walk into another lot with a much larger building than the school.

"Oh," you breathe out once you realize where you're heading.

"This is the church." She smiles down happily at you, but her face falls when she notices your expression. "What's wrong?"

"What?" You blink away your blank stare and turn to her. "Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't know - I mean - I knew, but I just didn't-"

Her face scrunches up, "Is this going to be a problem for you? You do know this is a Christian school, right?" She asks. You almost roll your eyes at that. Of course you knew, it's literally in the school's name, Grace Christian Academy.

You attempt to recover from your blubbering. "No, of course. I mean, I was brought up as a Christian so it's not a problem. I just didn't think the church was integrated into the school so much." You explain yourself, and she nods slowly. She seems to think about your words a little but eventually she shrugs lightly.

"It's okay, you know. If you're not that into it." She reassures you. "Just don't let the others know that. Honestly, you don't have to worry too much about it. You won't be teaching any bible classes and we only ever come here for chapel every Thursday."

You nod along as you follow her into the building. "Um, at chapel would I have to…" you look at her and she already understands what you're trying to ask.

"You wouldn't really have to do anything." She laughs knowingly. "Just sway a little during worship and make sure the students stay awake during the message." She opens the auditorium doors and you both walk in, taking in the view of the large stage and the many seats set up for service. When you turn to her she's already looking at you with a smile. "Want to see the front? The view is even better from the stage."

You half shrug, "Yeah, I guess. Since I'll probably never be up there. Now's my only chance." She laughs and leads the way. You follow her to the front of the auditorium and when she moves to sit down in the front row, you continue on to the stage. Her eyes follow you from where she's seated and watches as you very ungracefully sit yourself on the edge of the stage with a little turn jump.

She was right, the view from the stage really is better. The lights in the audience is off and the stage is dimly light. Since Brittany is in the front row, you can still make out the features of her face. You instantly become hyper aware of the fact that it feels like you're on display for her and only her.

This makes you even more anxious and you begin to shift awkwardly under her gaze. You look away nervously when you see her slightly duck her head to look away first. You think it could be interpreted as bashful, but she's in the dark so you can't really say for certain.

She clears her throat, "The school puts together a play at the end of each school year. It's pretty great actually." Her attempt at small talk eases your nerves. "Plus, most of the time it's not a religious play. Even though it has to be approved by Sue, the students tend to pick plays that have nothing to do with religion."

That warrants a small chuckle from you, "Makes sense." You look at her again, wanting to know more about her in particular. "What about you?"

She pauses for a second. She's knows you're asking about her beliefs. You want to know where she stands on the matter. "I'm pretty into it." She answers, shrugging.

You nod your head slowly and hum in response. Not sure of what to do with that information. Not sure if that means you should keep your distance from her. You bite your bottom lip when she stands suddenly, moving closer to you as she studies your face. "I'm not ashamed of it." She looks slightly offended, "This place saved my life." The way she says it comes out slightly more aggressive than you were prepared for.

You're quick to reassure her. "Oh no, I didn't mean anything by it. And I'm not judging you. To each their own, you know?"

"So, you don't go to church?" She asks, jumping up to sit on the edge with you. Her jump obviously more graceful and smooth than yours. You shake your head in response to her question. You would hardly call yourself religious. Not anymore at least. Sure, you like to think of yourself as a Christian still, but you're not exactly always on your 'Sunday best' anymore. Honestly, you only applied for this position because you were curious about the idea of teaching kids.

"Church seems more like it's about showing face than actually helping people." You scrunch up your nose and hope that you haven't offended her, again. "I'm sorry. It's just, I figured I could get by with just being… spiritual enough. I've had a few bad experiences with church people." It's been more than ten years since then but you figure by now things could have changed. They must've. You can only hope.

She seems to accept your answer and you're grateful for that. "You might like it here, though. We're getting along fine, right?" You smile at her and she leans sideways to playfully nudge your shoulder with hers. "We're not going to force you to join the church, Santana. But you should totally come by this Thursday to observe chapel. You can stay in the back with me and you can see all the students. It'll give you a chance to see this place in action."

You chuckle at that and agree. You might as well check it out if you're going to have to come here every Thursday. Brittany is so understanding with you and you're happy to have at least made a new friend.

You accepted the job offer the same day as your tour with Brittany. By the following week, you were settled into your new classroom.

You had doubts about working in a religious environment, especially after what happened all those years ago as a teenager. But eventually you told yourself that you needed the money because you're new to town and out of all the other jobs you've interviewed for, this job pays the best.

You got lucky when the previous music teacher moved away last minute, and they needed a replacement as soon as possible. Sure, that means you would have to start a few weeks after the beginning of the school year, but at least you weren't too far behind.

On your first day of teaching, Brittany showed up to your classroom early in the morning to congratulate you. She was surprised to see you already setting up since it was still so early. She told you she was planning on just leaving a little note on your desk.

But when she walked in on you putting up some posters, she smiled brightly and gave you the note anyway. You did your best to hide the blush that found its way onto your cheeks. You took her handwritten note and pinned it to the board next to your computer.

You are exactly where you're meant to be. Congratulations on the new job. – Britt.

It's been a little over a month now since you've started working at the school. This morning's chapel started off as it usually does with you assisting Brittany in getting her class to stand in a straight line. Since chapel is first thing in the morning and every student starts Thursday in Bible class, you have no students of your own to wrangle.

Chapel, as it turns out, is your favorite part of Thursday. Originally, you thought chapel was going to be your favorite because you thought you would be able to sit in the back and discreetly nod off for an hour and a half. But once you found out that Brittany does the sound and lighting from the booth in the back, you offered your superior tech ability services to her. Even though you don't have any.

Brittany easily found that out for herself after the first chapel service though. You had no idea what you were doing, and this was not a 'fake it till you make it' kind of situation. But she didn't mind that you wanted to help her instead being up in the front assisting with worship, since that would've made more sense with you being the music teacher and all. She even took it upon herself to teach you what every button did.

However, she didn't hold back even a little while she laughed at you for accidentally turning off the entire system in the middle of the message. You think you'll never live that down. You think she'll never let you.

Now that you've got the hang of it, you can confidently say that you are no longer afraid to push some buttons, flip some switches, and slide some sliders. Brittany really is a great teacher.

"Thanks for helping me with the kids." Brittany leans towards you as you walk side by side, following the line of students. "You know you don't have to do that every Thursday, right?"

"I know." You shrug. "But, I don't have anything better to do."

When you get into the auditorium, you part ways with Brittany, taking over for her as you make sure the students are sitting in their proper sections before walking back to the sound booth. It's a decent sized booth, boxed off and tucked away in the back corner of the auditorium so that no one pays it any attention, but still visible enough that you both can easily see the stage from over the controls. Brittany's already set up, with her little notepad as she holds the top of a pen between teeth. Her feet are propped up on the bench you both share and when she sees you approaching, she smiles mischievously.

"I think Rory likes you." Her eyes are looking past you and she juts her chin in the same direction.

When you turn around slightly, you see him looking. You're pretty sure he's actually looking at Brittany because you already know he has a crush, it's just not on you. You've seen the way he looks at your new friend when she isn't paying attention. Rolling your eyes, you turn and face his direction fully. You motion your hand towards him in a way that tells him to turn around to the front. He blushes before obeying your command.

"Shoes, Pierce." You hear Sue's voice just as she breezes past you and towards the front of the auditorium. Brittany quickly puts her feet down and sits up straighter.

You click your tongue in disappointment at your friend, "Miss Pierce, you should know better." You smirk, and she frowns.

"You be quiet." She points at you, "At least I don't have a teenage admirer." She laughs, and you knowingly grin back. When you tell her who the real subject of Rory's crush is, her frown is back and this time you're the one that's laughing.

xx

You look up from the computer to make sure the right mic is on when Will steps up on stage to begin his sermon. This is the best part of chapel because he'll be up there talking for a good hour or so, meaning you have the best chance to make conversation with Brittany with no interruptions.

You used to think that chatting with Brittany during the message might be impeding on her enjoyment of the sermon, but she quickly reassured you that the point of chapel is mostly for the students. She even admitted to falling asleep on more than one occasion. You don't blame her, Will can be a dull guy sometimes. Either way, you still do your best to not overly converse with her, mostly in fear that she'll eventually tire of you. Your sound booth conversations are generally kept short and you almost always wait for Brittany to initiate them.

Over the course of the last few services, you found out more about Brittany and her life. You've been going back and forth with her on a game of 21 questions, friendship version. You find out that she's way more integrated with GCA than you originally thought.

She's 27, a few years younger than you and has no siblings. Both of her parents are pastors at the church, leading you to believe it's how she ended up going to this school from preschool to graduation. Oh and her college of choice? An Indiana Christian college you've never heard of before. When she said she was 'pretty into it', that was truly the understatement of the century.

You also found out Brittany lives only a few blocks from campus and she basically spends most of her time at the school or at the church. You asked her once if she had any friends outside of the church and she just shook her head. She later explained that it had something to do with people not understanding why she would subject herself to spending time with a bunch of 'bigots and hypocrites'.

She did clarify though that she would never try push her beliefs on others. But after more than enough 'heated discussions that ended in my so-called friends yelling profanities at me' she found it better to just stay away.

That made you sad because Brittany is so sweet and so easy to get along with. She hasn't tried to push you towards coming to church or talk about your own views on religion. She knows that everyone has to live their own lives.

"Alright, your turn." Brittany whispers beside you. You cock your head to the side and try to think of a good question.

"What's a good takeout restaurant near here?" you ask, and she scrunches her face in confusion.

"That's what you want to ask me for your question?"

"I forgot my lunch at home today," you explain, "So I have to go out and grab something." Brittany immediately shakes her head at you.

"Okay, no. Come to my classroom during lunch," she offers, "we can share mine."

This time it's your turn to shake your head, "Brittany, no. I can't take your food, you'll starve. I can just grab something."

"I won't take no for an answer, Santana." She tells you and doesn't let you fight her. Instead, when you try to speak up she hushes you and tells you to look forward. You laugh to yourself and turn to the front. You guess you have no choice. It's not like you're mad about it though.

"Fine."

xx

About 35 minutes into Will's sermon, you notice that Brittany is humming softly. It's the same tune that she played on the keyboard the day you met her. You smile at that and quietly hum along with her. She notices and gets you to look at her by bumping your shoulder with hers. She's smiling shyly at you and you can't help but swoon at the sight. You duck your head and continue to hum.