"Love is so short, forgetting is so long."
― Pablo Neruda, Love
Chapter One:
"Sesshomaru, there's something I've been wanting to tell you—"
"What do you think of Kagura, Rin?' He interrupted while he watched the demoness roam the hallways with her radiant smile and greeting the others with a wave or wink.
"I didn't know dimwitted girls were your type" I answered while leaning against the locker next to Sesshomaru.
"Kagura is not like that she's different Rin" Sesshomaru answered, I looked at him before ripping my locker door open.
Not bothering to give Sesshomaru a warning I was annoyed by that comment and I didn't know exactly why. Sesshomaru and I have been best friends since we were kids and stood by each other side when things got rough. He was my rock when my sister, Kagome, became very ill and we didn't have the funds for a doctor. He was so generous that he paid for her hospital bills and treatment. I was his foundation when he was going off by the reins during his parents divorce, when his father got remarried and revealed he secretly had a love child around our age. We helped each other through dark times and only grew closer in time. There were times I wondered why we were friends, we were from different worlds with different ambitions in mind. Waiting for the homeroom bell to ring, I secretly stole a glance at Sesshomaru who was too busy watching the stubby eighth grader roaming the halls in her hippie look. I rolled my eyes at the tree hugging air head, she was not right for Sesshomaru. She was stupid and that was just an understatement; one time Kagura didn't know where the bathroom was and there was a sign of a girl on the door. I remember I literally had to walk her to the bathroom just so she wouldn't go to the boys. I don't understand what Sesshomaru sees in her, if anything I figured he wouldn't be interested in anyone until marriage like myself.
"She's also an airhead with a great smile and can't tell the difference between a haiku and a limerick" I added,
"No one else can Rin, you're the like smartest girl in school so of course you could distinguish between the two" Sesshomaru replied
"Obviously but I always thought you would like a girl with an actual brain in her head instead of air; my Kami Sesshomaru I thought you had higher standards—"
"Rin, what has gotten into you?" Sesshomaru questioned "Why are you acting weird?"
His eyes were trained on me waiting for an answer; but I kept my eyes on Sesshomaru not afraid to challenge him. I was the only one who didn't feel scared by his presence or felt like he could crush my existence. I simply would tell him point blank if he was doing something wrong or how I felt because to me there were no secrets between us. Yet, I didn't understand why I was getting worked up on Sesshomaru's taste in women, he was known to be a player with no standards but whenever I am around he would developed common sense. Looking down I felt like a complete idiot for pulling that ac,t he was free to be interested in whomever he wanted so why did it bother me?
'You just care about your best friend's wellbeing' I thought, I looked at him and thought back to the time we first met:
"Morning class, today we have two new students" The teacher announced.
I was quite excited to see who these new kids were, I was pretty much the welcoming committee when it comes to new kids. I looked over to Kagome and Sango, who could tell I was thrilled, they were curious to see.
"I wonder if they are ugly" Sango whispered, I giggled from her comment.
Sango never really liked boys because she thought they were stupid and a complete waste of time and normally I would agree with her. But my opinions suddenly changed when He walked in the class room. The teacher introduced him but he seemed so distant about it; the loud beating from my chest filled my ears. My palms grew sweaty and there were goosebumps all over my body. A cold shiver went down my spine causing my back to straighten. I didn't pay too much attention to the other kid, Inuyasha but I noticed some similarities between the two.
'Could they be related?' I thought.
"Sesshomaru sit next to Rin" the teacher instructed, I was eternally grateful that we had name tags on our desk. My body was made of jelly that felt too heavy to move.
"Hi there, I'm Rin" I introduced, this was the first time I have been strongly bold to someone let alone a boy. My cheeks were suddenly hot and my tongue was dry but I did my best to not be awkward. Which was hard since I had a boy hair cut, metal wire filled my mouth and thick glasses with tape to hold the middle because some kids broke it to 'complete my look'.
"Go away" was all he said in a deep voice, it would make anyone run for the hills but simply smiled and shared my book with him. I could feel his eyes burning through my neck so I turned my head only to have them burn through mine.
"I hope you like it here Sesshomaru" I replied, admiring his features; pure silky white as snow hair, pointy nose and sharp elf-like ears. I felt myself exhaling a lot of air out of me as my eyes traced his blue crest moon on his forehead and magenta stripes on each cheek of his face.
'Beautiful' I thought.
"What is that?" I blurted out
"What is what?" He asked, I was still in a trance but drew circles around his face gesturing his marks.
'Even his skin is soft' I thought, he looked surprised that I touched him but I was too enticed to care.
"On your face, the purple stripes on your cheeks and crescent moon on your forehead" I asked again.
"I'm a full fledged demon" he answered, I was amazed that I was sitting next to a full-fledged demon what ever that means.
"Cool, is that like a club or something?" I asked I was pretty interested about it.
"No, it just runs in my family" he told me but I was too busy piecing the information together that I realized something.
"If it runs in your family then why doesn't Inuyasha have them?" I asked
"How did you even know" He asked, his facial expression stayed the same but his eyes gave him away.
"You guys have the same hair color, eye color but the only difference is that Inuyasha's eyes are a shade lighter than yours; you act pretty distant when he's near you, so you must be the oldest and you flinch well your eyes darken when I mentioned his name" I answered "Plus you guys have the same last name, so its pretty much common sense"
He chuckled so softly I couldn't help but smile too, I felt like I did something pretty good.
"You truly are something special Rin" Sesshomaru stated before looking at the bored to follow the teacher. The smile I had on my face stayed the entire day, no one could ruin my day. I was in a good mood, even my heart skipped a beat and it was at that moment I knew I was going to be friends with Sesshomaru Takahashi.
Snapping out of my trip down memory lane. I watched as that little kid transformed himself into the man right in front of me. I watched as his eyes darken and lighten up as he continued tto search for something in my eyes. I kept staring at him for some reason my eyes could not look away, I just wanted to look at him all day.
"I'm sorry, I just want you to date a girl who is actually worthy of you. I hate seeing you be with girl's that don't deserve you" I explained, Sesshomaru lifted my chin up watching my messy bun come undone and letting a few pieces fall from my hair to my face. I watched as his eyes sparkle—something I never knew—with excitement.
'How come I never knew your eyes did that' I thought as I felt his eyes reaching inside my soul.
"Sesshomaru?" He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me in a platonic way, it's the same look I've grown accustomed to over the years.
"Rin you're—"but he couldn't finish his thought.
The whiff of nature filled his nose making him forget entirely what he wanted to say. Turning around he saw Kagura right behind him with a nervous look on her face and a crooked smile resting on her lips. I wanted to melt from the sight of Kagura, I felt his hands drop from my face. Part of me wanted to ask him not to remove his hands but it wouldn't mean anything. His attention was to his 'dream girl' the way he kept starting at her made me feel so inadequate. If he was like a normal kid then you would practically hear his heart pounding but he just stared at her.
"Hey Sesshomaru" Kagura smiled at him while brushing a piece of hair away from her face.
I watched the girl fix her floral headband and looked at Sesshomaru with those unique red eyes. The more I stared at Kagura the bigger that black hole grew in my stomach; I didn't understand why I felt animosity towards the girl it didn't bothered me that he was talking to her but it bothered me how he was giving her his time.
"Kagura" Sesshomaru spat out.
Kagura giggled at him and rubbed her arm in a nervous manner.
"I was wondering if you don't have plans tonight—no wait you probably do, but if you don't have a date to Miroku's party tonight with me?" She asked.
"ok" Sesshomaru answered while playing with his snow hair.
"And that's my cue to leave" I slammed her locker shut once the bell rang and headed to class.
'Stupid Kagura and her perfect skin and crooked smile with her perfect teeth and carefree attitude' I thought as I held my books tight to my body fearing it would all fall apart.
"Rin, wait up!" Sesshomaru yelled, I wanted to keep walking and ignore my best friend who agreed to on a date with that airhead.
Stopping at the corner I cling to my books even tighter as a life raft, not ready to tell Sesshomaru why I walked off so fast without waiting for him. I fixed her wired glasses with tape in the middle and tried not to seem like an even bigger nerd. As I waited for Sesshomaru I looked at the school's mirror that is above the water fountain and quickly closed my eyes after seeing my reflection.
'Why do i care about my appearance' I thought.
I knew I didn't have a perfect smile the braces made sure of it, and my eye sight wasn't the best because of the glasses. I never fully had time to do my hair so I kept it in one braid because I was too busy making straight A's and being the perfect daughter.
"Why did you run off?" Sesshomaru asked
"I didn't want to get in the way of your plans with Miss Popular" I answered sourly, I felt so childish but I just hated Kagura for some reason.
"Don't be that way Rin"
"Sesshomaru you've been in love with that girl since first grade" Rin whispered when he didn't say anything I knew I had to put the point in.
"I just didn't want you to miss your chance with her" I added
"Well too late for that," He answered
"What do you mean?"
"I told her that I was taking you instead" Sesshomaru replied "I couldn't let my best friend miss Miroku's party"
I giggled at Sesshomaru and suddenly all of my insecurities vanish into thin air—like magic. I suddenly wanted to jump into his arms and hug him for thinking of me. I wished I stayed a little longer to see Kagura's face when he told her that he was taking me instead of her. I felt victorious, like I won the grand prize.
"So I'll pick you up at eight, dress to impress" Sesshomaru told me before ushering me to my Honor's English Comp.
-o-
"I have nothing to wear!" I yelled mentally cursed myself for going the conservative route.
"Rin?" Kagome called from the other side of the door. I ripped the door open, Kagome watched as I fret and mumble how I have nothing to wear to the party.
"What's going on?" Kagome asked
"Sesshomaru asked me to go to Miroku's party with him tonight and I have nothing to wear and he's going to be here in an hour" I explained rather quickly.
I never went to a party with him before and never bother attending one either. My head was spinning and my gut was filled with so many butterflies I thought I was re-taste my lunch from today.
"I make nonstop A's and can answer any math equations but I can't pick a freaking outfit for an eighth grade party" I frantically, I kept throwing all my clothes on the floor but would look on the floor at the same time in case the outfit was considered decent to wear. I didn't care that Kagome was still standing by the doorway watching me lose it, it was nerve wracking and her still doing nothing was making me dap my armpits nonstop with a towel.
"Could it be that you're going with Sesshomaru?" Kagome questioned
"Kagome I just said he was taking me to a party, learn to listen"
"No Rin, I meant could it be that you're going with a guy you like?"
I stopped rummaging through my floor to look at my older sister, I shook my head from her statement.
'Not this again' I thought.
For some odd reason, Kagome has this idiotic notion that I am in love with Sesshomaru. I kept telling her that he is nothing but my best friend and brother, I could never see Sesshomaru that kind of way. I wondered why she thought that, then it clicked; why Kagome had the slightest idea for me 'losing my mind'. Kagome believed that I was finally going to a public event with the "love of my life", Sesshomaru. I kept telling her nonstop I don't have feelings for Sesshomaru we were only friends but for some odd reason Kagome believed I was in love with Sesshomaru but would never admit it to myself. I remembered when she tried to reason with me making me admit something that wasn't true but I just pushed her away and pretended Kagome said nothing. It was annoying then and it is annoying now how she constantly thinks when I lose my shit it is because of Sesshomaru.
'No Kagome, I'm losing my shit because I don't want to look like shit' I thought but I rolled my eyes.
"Rin I know you're not the most expressive person in the world but—"
"Oh Kami not this again" I muttered "I don't love Sesshomaru, I just don't want to look like an idiot"
Kagome ran into her room but before I could get a world out she came back with her emergency heartbeat black and navy blue backless dress with the black stilettos
"I was saving this dress in case I wanted to dump a guy but since that day never came; I figured you could use this dress" Kagome handed her the dress and heels.
I stared at the dress then Kagome and hugged her tightly.
"Thank you" I whispered before running into the bathroom.
-o-
"How do I look?"
I stepped out of the bathroom with the dress on my body and heels on her feet. I put my hair in a long braid that rested on her shoulder. My eyes had shimmery purple eye shadow and lips were tainted with a soft red lip stick. Kagome stared at me amazed how quickly I got dressed.
"You're stunning Rin" Kagome answered, I smiled at her comment and looked at the mirror to see my reflection. I didn't really believe Kagome but it was nice to feel admired even if it were only for a night. I knew I wasn't stunning, my braces kept smearing the lipstick and my glasses covered majority of the makeup. Also the dress felt mildly uncomfortable on my skin, I felt like it was clinging all the wrong places making me feel like I'm having a panic attack. Yet, I was simply the same Rin but in a dress and heels.
"I barely don't even recognize the girl in the mirror" I whispered,
"Rin, Sesshomaru is here" Keade called out. I smiled and made my way downstairs.
Descending down the staircase I felt my throat closing up; I could feel the butterflies fluttering inside my from the thought of going to a party. The idea scared me out of my mind that I would be attending it with my best friend. Reaching the bottom stairs I looked at Sesshomaru who was busy talking to Keade who was talking about how she has a business trip in New York tomorrow. I stopped on the last step and cleared my throat to gain both party's attention.
"Well, how do I look?" I asked, Sesshomaru turned away from Keade to look at me. I was nervous when Sesshomaru kept staring at me, I did not understand why though. I suddenly felt self conscious that I looked ugly and maybe that's why he was looking at me for so long.
'He would never tell me that' I thought I knew he would tell me that I looked adequate or presentable. Never once have I heard Sesshomaru truly compliment me but I secretly hoped tonight would be different but I didn't dwell on it.
"Look at my daughter, a beautiful princess" I heard Keade say proudly.
"Rin you look amazing" Sesshomaru answered, I was stunned by his comment. I knew Sesshomaru to be a man of a few words but I didn't expect the word 'amazing' to be in his vocabulary. I marveled in his words, I wanted to float on a cloud feeling so elated that he thought I looked amazing.
"You too get in close I want to remember this moment until I die" Keade stated.
"Mom please, I don't think Sesshomaru—"
"It's fine Rin" Sesshomaru interrupted as he pulled me in close to his arms. I felt my cheeks getting red being this close to him. His scent smelled so intoxicating, I kept smelling him quietly. He felt so soft I wanted to melt even more into him.
'He still feels like silk' I thought.
I could feel his eyes on me but I was too busy smiling at the camera. Something felt different I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew deep down I wanted Sesshomaru to hold me tight in his arms and never let me go.
'He's your best friend, he's like a brother to you' I thought, driving all weird thoughts of her best friend out of my head. But I couldn't help myself, my body felt awkward around him and his eyes were practically glued on me making my cheeks grow even redder. I figured something was going on inside his head but I stayed quiet hoping that the moment would continue a little longer.
"Sesshomaru you can let go now" I whispered " The picture is over"
'I wish it didn't have to end' I thought. I wanted to make the moment linger a little longer but I decided against it.
"Sorry about that" Sesshomaru muttered before releasing her.
I ignored him and headed outside waiting for him to follow. Miroku's place wasn't too far from mine, it was actually two blocks away so there was no need in asking for a ride from Keade; plus I wanted to enjoy the little time with Sesshomaru before he is grabbed by the popular crowd. I knew I didn't belong in Shikon but with Keade's job located here it wasn't like I had a choice but to move there. The people here were so wild and carefree but they had a tinge of freedom attached to it; Kagome fit in perfectly to the town but I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was too busy trying to get the best grades and making sure I am the perfect daughter that I ended up being labeled as "Stuck-up".
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sesshomaru asked, I looked up to Sesshomaru and smiled.
"Are you always this observant of me' I thought.
"Just thinking about how much I stick out like a sore thumb in this town" I answered, I laughed at the thought but I just wanted to fool Sesshomaru. I didn't want him to figure out how insecure I feels in this town.
"I just feel like this town is too good for me you know?" I added, Sesshomaru didn't say anything for a while, which made me feel like I said something stupid. I knew Sesshomaru wasn't too keen on talking but when he did speak it would always be brief and concise. I rubbed my shoulders feeling the cold wind blowing through the thin fabric of this dress. I felt something warm over my shoulders when I finally looked up, Sesshomaru wrapped his jacket around my shoulders and left his hands there for a second longer.
"I think you're the one that too good for this town Rin" Sesshomaru answered before ushering me to walk in front of him to Miroku's front door. I felt myself blush from that comment, this was the second time he's complimented me and I just did not know how to handle it. I buried my nose in his jacket, bathing in his scent hoping it would linger. It was moments like this that made me realize why we are friends to begin with and also make me want to enjoy his company even longer.
'You always know just want to say' I looked at him for another second before facing the door that contained the night i would have fun.
As Sesshomaru opened the door music was blaring loud that it could be heard the next town over, the lights flashed different colors every minute. I felt my heart pounded, and my hands began to feel clammy against the fabric of the dress. I began to rock back and forth, tapping my feet impatiently ion the concrete step as the music filled my ears. The idea watching everyone laugh and dance was made me want to hurl, and my heart was still threatening to burst forth from my ribcage. Yet at the same time I anticipated to have fun and finally fit in and be at a party with my best friend. I knew at any moment Sesshomaru will disappear in the crowd and I won't see him until the end of the party, if I plan to stay that long. I hoped it wouldn't be too late, I had to tell him something important and my time was running out.
"Sesshomaru, wait I have something to tell you" I called out but Miroku walked to his door to pull Sesshomaru in before I could even get a word out.
"And who might you be?" Miroku asked closing the door slightly preventing me from entering. I never really liked Miroku, he was too perverted for my tastes; he never looked my way but tonight was an exception. He caressed my hand, I tried to snatch it back but he simply held my hand even tighter.
"Rin" I answered, I looked up to find a shocked Miroku staring at me.
"Stuck up Rin, you dress up quite nicely" He answered allowing me entrance to his 'legnedary parties'. I gave Miroku a meek smile holding in the fact that he just insulted me before I stepped inside.
"Yo Guys it's Stuck Up Rin" Miroku announced, I felt embarrassed from the announcement and tried to find the nearest corner to hide but it was impossible because every corner was filled with judging eyes that lived in Shikon. I wanted to desperately hide, it hasn't even been five minutes and already I wanted to leave.
'Sesshomaru took his time to brought me here, i should at least try to enjoy' I thought.
I really didn't want to be recognized and get more drama as to why I am here at this party. I watched as bodies were practically top of each other in the mansion, I could feel the heat coming towards me. Someone pulled me to the dance floor making me dance with them, I was confused and intrigued. I started moving to the rhythm having fun, I laughed and danced until my feet were getting sore, so many males tried asking me to dance with them but I kindly turned them down and told them I wanted to have fun alone tonight. After another two hours of dancing I decided to go to the bathroom and wait it out for an hour so I could find Sesshomaru to talk to him.
"Excuse me do you know where I can find the bathroom?" I tapped a girl's shoulder only to find it to be one of Kagura's loyal follower's.
"It's two doors down and the last door to the left" She answered before going back to her conversation with her friends.
"Thanks" I whispered but the girl wasn't listening anymore. Following the directions I walked over to the last door I noticed that it quiet around this area and all the door handles had socks on them.
"What's going on?" I whispered, arriving to the last door to the left I knocked it at first and opened it.
"Oh Sesshomaru you're such a good kisser" Kagura moaned.
" Kagura" He whispered
"What is it Sesshomaru?"
"Be my girlfriend" He told her.
"Yes Sesshomaru I will be"
I slammed the door and ran to the nearest exit. I didn't understand why I felt so heartbroken from that scene. Maybe it was the fact that Sesshomaru ditched me to ask Kagura to be his girlfriend, but I knew I didn't have any feelings for Sesshomaru. He is my best friend, the brother I never had. I could never see him romantically.
'I didn't care if he asked Kagura to be his girlfriend' I thought but I knew I was only lying to myself. I cared that if those two started going out, i will lose the only friend I have in school; Kagome was too busy with Sango and I was too busy to notice. Sesshomaru gave me company without actually ever being present. It was the idea that I could always lean on him that gave me courage to turn the other cheek when kids would make fun of me or pick on me. Running back home I felt so empty inside that I couldn't spare the thought of what happened.
"Rin you're back early" Keade stated
"The party just wasn't for me, I guess" I lied I headed up stairs but Keade stopped me.
"Could you get your sister from that party, we have an early morning" Keade asked, I smiled at Kaede but I didn't want to go back to that hell hole but tomorrow was big day. Dropping Sesshomaru's jacket on the floor I took a deep breath and mustered my strength. I was positive I was going to see the new couple but I didn't really wanted to acknowledge them. I wanted to live in the lie a little longer that he didn't ask her and that I'd still have my best friend.
"Sure" I answered before heading back.
Dragging my feet back to Miroku's party I silently prayed that I could sneak in the party and grab Kagome. I didn't understand why I had to get Kagome, she was more than capable to handle herself. Rolling my eyes I slipped into the party and tried to locate my sister. The sea of people gathered in the living room in a huge circle, someone was in the middle of them. I grew curious what was going on, walking over I saw Kagura and some guy dance.
'Weird, I never knew she could dance' I thought I wanted to look away but it was like a car accident. I couldn't peel her eyes away from Kagura whose body was practically glued to that stranger.
'Where's Sesshomaru?" I thought
"I still can't believe he brought stuck up Rin"
"Yeah, like when will he learn that she's boring"
"More like pathetic"
"well he did stayed friends with her out of pity"
My lips twisted slightly as I heard the confessions of my fellow classmates, I bit the inside of my cheek and pinched my sides preventing the tears from forming. I always knew the kids at school didn't like me and found me to be weird but I didn't think they despised me that much. I could not let them see me down, to them I was the weird yet perfect "Stuck-Up" Rin. Finally released from my cemented position, I tried to locate my sister. I checked every room and location but Kagome was no where to be found.
'She probably went home' I thought but I decided to keep checking just in case.
"Excuse me, have you seen Kagome?" I asked
"She went home like thirty minutes ago" the partygoer replied, I thanked the girl and decided to leave.
"That ningen isn't worth my time, like I told you I've only been friends with her out of pity" I heard
'That sounds like Sesshomaru' I thought
I decided to follow the voice, only to find Sesshomaru talking to Inuyasha, his half brother and Miroku. I watched as he was surrounded by his followers making cracks about me, I always knew I wasn't the coolest person in school; but for my best friend to feel the same shook me to the core. I cleared my throat gaining the attention of everyone including the boy whom I thought was my best friend.
"I can't believe you actually came thinking I wanted you to come; God, you're just as dumb as I thought" He laughed as he came centimeters close to me, everyone started to laugh and point at me making me feel so small. My face grew red as Sesshomaru continued to embarrass me, I felt the music stop and all eyes were suddenly on me again. Only this time it was to join Sesshomaru in his laughter, I tried to hold my tears I could not let them see me break.
"Sesshomaru that's enough" I heard Miroku state but he growled at the host and continued to circle around me.
"Never in a billion years would I associate myself with someone as fat and ugly as you even if I were drunk" He yelled loud enough for the world to hear.
"Sesshomaru" Inuyasha warned.
"So that's how you really feel?" I asked, I chuckled lightly while shaking her head.
'I'm such an idiot'
"Well you never have to worry about us being friends"
I couldn't take the humiliation anymore I walked out the door without looking back or expecting Sesshomaru to follow me. I didn't need an explanation or an apology I simply wanted to walk home and never look back. I decided to stop for a second to allow the emotions that was rumbling inside my body to figure out what they wanted to do first. Taking a deep breath I came to my sense and swallowed everything inside of me. I knew I shouldn't have come and I was a fool to think tonight would be the night I could be different.
"I guess I am too good for this town" I whispered as I walked inside.
A/N: Hey guys, guess who's back? This girl! That's right I decided to finally come out of my hibernation of a sabbatical and give you (my loyal readers) something new. I hope you guys enjoy it because it's not going to be anything like I've written and things aren't set in stone. What does that mean? Well, it means it's anyone's game until the very last chapter. So buckle up your seat belts and enjoy the ride.
Thank you for choosing the RockyExpress.