// Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
There's no one here
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd] \\
Dorothy sat, perfectly still on the trapeze. It wasn't the first
time she had perched herself up on this little wooden bar, and it
probably wouldn't be the last. Although her clothes - a simple blue,
cotton, plaid sundress and a pair of cute sandals - showed her to be
out of place, her poise didn't. She sat there as calm and as
collected as ever, as if she might have been sitting in the stands.
Below her, the circus people were putting away props from tonight's
performance. The bleachers were completely empty; save the litter of
the popcorn bags, the spilled sodas, the fallen ice cream cones. No
people. The huge spot lights were off, the minor lighting was been
carted away for tomorrow. Some of the performers wheeled out cages,
other picking up scarves or other pieces used. Catherine, for her
part was plucking her knives out of the board, while Trowa - a
wonderful shirtless Trowa - helped to move platforms back into place
for tomorrow and the lions back into their cages.
The party in the background from those who had completed their tasks
was beginning to swell. The clatter of bottles, the smell of food
cooking over a fire, the murmur of people chattering. Dorothy could
hear Manager's deep voice talking to someone quietly and the laughter
of the elephant riders as the girls were amused by the lion tamer.
'Who should be tending the lions, instead of Trowa,' Dorothy thought,
swinging a bit on the wooden bar.
// Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around [no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are] \\
Something made Trowa look at her. Maybe it was the clatter of dishes
outside. maybe it was the soft patter of her flip-flop hitting the
dirt on the floor. But he glanced up to Dorothy, up in her own
little world - while swinging softly on the trapeze. Her eyes seem
out of focus, and her long blonde hair waved gently in the wake of
her rocking motion.
Dorothy, it seemed didn't notice him for a while. Thinking about
what, he wasn't sure. A small grin planted itself on her pink lips,
and she blinked a couple of times. Then, she looked over to him,
almost studying him - analyzing him almost fifty feet away. Her pale
ice eyes searching his emerald gaze for something...for answers. For
truth, for hidden lies...for a reason.
But she wasn't able to tell. Even if he had opened up, either she
was too far away or he was to good at holding up an emotional
facade - she didn't get anything. She could feel his eyes studying
her, wondering about her silence, about why she always hid up there
when she visited him, about why she managed to stick around so long,
about why he wanted her to.
Dorothy dropped the staring contest, and studied her shoeless foot
instead. She'd find more answers in her little toe than in his
eyes. She let out another small grin...she was being so childish.
With a small smile, she pushed the other sandal off her foot. it
landed, almost five feet away from the other shoe, making another
small thump. That thump broke the spell; Dorothy went back to her
soul searching and Trowa went back to work.
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
How long had it been since she'd first seen him? Almost a year or
two. Only a year since he'd first seen her. Earlier, when he was
part of OZ, she had seen him. She had studied him then. She knew
that Trowa Barton was particular. Some even called him odd.
Something just wasn't right with him.
But, back then, she could do nothing. She was the granddaughter of
Duke Dermail of Romafeller and she was here to train. Boys weren't
an option. And, besides, Lady Une spent her extra time with him.
Anne had known he was a Gundam Pilot, even when the other didn't.
And Anne confided in few people - Dorothy was one of the few.
Back, during the middle of the war, she was infatuated and the fact
that her unknown crush was pilot was ever so mysterious.
Grandfather had taught her to use what ever mean possible to get what
was needed...or what was wanted. Many times, over and over, she had
contemplated going into his room. "If you want it, take it. No one
will ever give you anything - not with out a string attached. I'm
the only one you can depend on now." He had told her that...so, so
many times. She knew how to break the codes. She could have.....
But...she never did. Some how she knew it would shatter her dreams.
Either she would be all alone, or she would never be able to return
to the place she called home. So she did was she thought was easier -
she swallowed what had been an inkling of emotions, and went upon
her business. She returned home, to her family. She pressed it down
and let her bitterness consisting of "what if" and "I should've"
consume her nights and her job for grandfather consume her days.
The swinging trapeze had stopped, long ago.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart [breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown] \\
A small, almost bitter laugh, escaped her throat and echoed within
the tent. Trowa Barton, now showered and dressed, looked up at
Dorothy as he came in to the big top. His friend was still up
there. Dorothy was a close friend - as close now as Relena or Cathy
or any other of his close friends. Quatre was right; she was as
sweet and as nice as he had thought. Dorothy had been around when
Cathy had been in the hospital from the accident with the tent. She
had visited when Quatre couldn't. Trowa realized, that she was
around - right when he needed some one. Sometimes right out there,
some times hanging around in the background.
Dorothy, bit her lip, the pink flesh easily becoming red from
pressure. He never even could tell. For a long time, she had shoved
it so far inwards...and when he told her she was living a lie.... It
hurt. Usually what people say rolled off. Quatre had helped to drag
up her father - that had stung like a bee sting compared to the
cannon balls that Trowa had thrown her way.
It was so cold, his words that day. And yet, while it had burned her
to the bones, it didn't bother him. The next time she had seen him
he was as happy as she had ever seen him. It was a "We're all done
fighting" type of party, so prevalent in the weeks after the wall.
She wasn't even there for long, but the image of him out-and-out
laughing amazed her. The sound was deep, and rich, and it made her
tingle inside. Dressed in khakis and a polo shirt he looked about
as dressed up as he would be and yet...he glowed with happiness. A
glow it seemed. She had frozen that frame in her mind - his head
back, his face filled with a smile, his rich voice echoing in her
head.
And here she was, out here again...and it didn't matter. They had
hung out like best buddies, how many times? It hadn't changed a
thing. It was all the same, there was no love for her here.
Friendship, mutual understanding, memories of times past. No road to
the future and no hope of feelings returned. Another bitter laugh
escaped, causing Trowa to look at her in alarm.
// Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played [role that you
played]
No more masquerade, you're one lonely star
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are] \\
'Bravo, Mr. Barton, Bravo. Congratulations for putting up with me.'
she thought, cynically. 'I wish I could continue this dance with you,
Trowa. I really do. I have to go on, while I still have rational on
my side. Goodbye Trowa, wonderful Trowa. I need to move on now. I
need to grow up, and you need to let me. You had found your
self...you know your heart. Mine is just waking up. God..please let
me leave here, with out hurting myself more than ever. He will never
love me, and I need to find myself. And one more thing, God, what
ever you do, don't let me fall for those eyes of his again. If I do,
I don't know if I could ever really escape.'
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
Dorothy pushed on air a bit, preparing for her flip down. She
needed momentum if she were to jump down - which was about the only
way from this high up. She needed to go, before she lost it. What
she didn't realize was she had already lost it...a few errant tears
were already crawling down her creamy cheek, dripping on her blue
dress straps before being absorbed by the cotton fabric. Or that
Trowa had climbed up the pole and was sitting on the platform that
most had used to get up to the bars she was on, normally. That he
had been watching her, or that he had changed once more - into a
white T-shirt and plaid pajama pants. She hadn't noticed that she
had been sitting up there for three hours after the show had end at
ten. Her trip had her miss the big party that was still winding down
for some and that she would be lucky to get to her hotel with no
questions asked.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
All the world is a stage [world is a stage]
And everyone has their part [has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You'd break my heart \\
Standing up, her knees popped from there long held position and she
had her calves file a slight protest. Grabbing the rope which held
her "swing" up in her left hand, she raised her right to her eyes.
'Dang it' she thought, with a small sniffle. 'I couldn't even wait
till I got home. Stupid emotions. I hate them,' anger now clouding
her thoughts, trying to make up for her sad, lost, and lonely
feelings.
Up to momentum, she prepared to jump, when a warm hand, a tan hand,
caught her wrist.
"Don't leave." a warm voice said. "Talk to me about it."
// I've always been in love with you
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you've always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
"I *can't*," she said, her voice wavering, as she stared out at the
open ground - now devoid of litter as well as people. Two blue
sandals had been paired together, placed approixmently infront of the
trapeze. Looking back at him, water in her eyes, she whispered
again. "I just can't, I'm sorry." Blinking back tears, tears she
never used to carry, she spoke once more. "I have to leave. Goodbye
Trowa."
Trowa always had the feeling in the back that one day Dorothy would
leave. 'I suppose, today is that day.' he reflected, 'but...I can
try...'
"Don't. For me." he said, quietly, looking at her tear streaked face
and water filled eyes; her light makeup had long ago smeared on her
face. "Stay. No one wants you to go. Your important to all of us.
Don't go." He pulled the trapeze over, his hand only leaving hers
for a moment, before capturing her once again, holding her on the
small platform in the air. "Don't leave." he said, his voice barely
above a whisper.
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
Soon, through the growing darkness, he saw something that most never
saw - Dorothy Catalonia blushing. He smiled a small smile. Dorothy
had always been a friend. But, obviously, she felt something more -
strangely, it didn't ick him out. He kind of liked it. Was
this...was this why she was leaving? He could tell, the way she had
been acting - it wasn't until tomorrow, it would have been for a lot
longer.
"Stay here, Dorothy." he said, quietly, looking at her, nose to
nose. There wasn't any escaping the truth now. Her eyes were still
swimming in pools of tears, but her eyes shown with fear, confusion,
and her now becoming glaringly obvious love. How long had this been
going on, he wondered. Dorothy, took a chance and tried to study him
once more. She saw happiness, and concern. And...something a kin to
love. It surely wasn't her all consuming want...but whatever it was,
it was there. All along, she noted. That same look for the past six
months - not quite love, but almost. So hidden from himself, and she
was blind to it.
"Damn you!" she said, crying, and pounding on his chest. "This just
isn't fair! Why! Why do you do this to me? Do you enjoy causing me
pain?" The clown just responded by enveloping her into a conforting
hug, silencing her blows, and evoking her sobs. "It's not fair..."
she cried, her voice cracking. "I was ready! I finally had it all
planned out and you have to..go..go and do thiiisss!" she let out
with a small wail. Trowa rocked her back and forth, slightly,
murmuring soothing words, and smoothing her hair. It wasn't long
before her sobs subsided and they were on there way back down.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Say good-bye \\
"Good night, Trowa," she said, grabbing up her sandals.
"Goodnight, not goodbye?" he asked, knowing that he would see her in
the morning.
"Goodnight." she affirmed. "I'll meet you for breakfast at Chedders,
like usual."
"Goodnight then, Dotty."
Dorothy smiled, blushing a bit once more, before vooming away. Trowa
watched her drive off, grinning a bit. 'No goodbyes any more.' he
thought.
~~~~~~~~
Okay, I wanted angst. My muse didn't.
Ryo: I like happy endings.
Grrr. R&R!!!
Chiri
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
There's no one here
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd] \\
Dorothy sat, perfectly still on the trapeze. It wasn't the first
time she had perched herself up on this little wooden bar, and it
probably wouldn't be the last. Although her clothes - a simple blue,
cotton, plaid sundress and a pair of cute sandals - showed her to be
out of place, her poise didn't. She sat there as calm and as
collected as ever, as if she might have been sitting in the stands.
Below her, the circus people were putting away props from tonight's
performance. The bleachers were completely empty; save the litter of
the popcorn bags, the spilled sodas, the fallen ice cream cones. No
people. The huge spot lights were off, the minor lighting was been
carted away for tomorrow. Some of the performers wheeled out cages,
other picking up scarves or other pieces used. Catherine, for her
part was plucking her knives out of the board, while Trowa - a
wonderful shirtless Trowa - helped to move platforms back into place
for tomorrow and the lions back into their cages.
The party in the background from those who had completed their tasks
was beginning to swell. The clatter of bottles, the smell of food
cooking over a fire, the murmur of people chattering. Dorothy could
hear Manager's deep voice talking to someone quietly and the laughter
of the elephant riders as the girls were amused by the lion tamer.
'Who should be tending the lions, instead of Trowa,' Dorothy thought,
swinging a bit on the wooden bar.
// Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around [no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are] \\
Something made Trowa look at her. Maybe it was the clatter of dishes
outside. maybe it was the soft patter of her flip-flop hitting the
dirt on the floor. But he glanced up to Dorothy, up in her own
little world - while swinging softly on the trapeze. Her eyes seem
out of focus, and her long blonde hair waved gently in the wake of
her rocking motion.
Dorothy, it seemed didn't notice him for a while. Thinking about
what, he wasn't sure. A small grin planted itself on her pink lips,
and she blinked a couple of times. Then, she looked over to him,
almost studying him - analyzing him almost fifty feet away. Her pale
ice eyes searching his emerald gaze for something...for answers. For
truth, for hidden lies...for a reason.
But she wasn't able to tell. Even if he had opened up, either she
was too far away or he was to good at holding up an emotional
facade - she didn't get anything. She could feel his eyes studying
her, wondering about her silence, about why she always hid up there
when she visited him, about why she managed to stick around so long,
about why he wanted her to.
Dorothy dropped the staring contest, and studied her shoeless foot
instead. She'd find more answers in her little toe than in his
eyes. She let out another small grin...she was being so childish.
With a small smile, she pushed the other sandal off her foot. it
landed, almost five feet away from the other shoe, making another
small thump. That thump broke the spell; Dorothy went back to her
soul searching and Trowa went back to work.
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
How long had it been since she'd first seen him? Almost a year or
two. Only a year since he'd first seen her. Earlier, when he was
part of OZ, she had seen him. She had studied him then. She knew
that Trowa Barton was particular. Some even called him odd.
Something just wasn't right with him.
But, back then, she could do nothing. She was the granddaughter of
Duke Dermail of Romafeller and she was here to train. Boys weren't
an option. And, besides, Lady Une spent her extra time with him.
Anne had known he was a Gundam Pilot, even when the other didn't.
And Anne confided in few people - Dorothy was one of the few.
Back, during the middle of the war, she was infatuated and the fact
that her unknown crush was pilot was ever so mysterious.
Grandfather had taught her to use what ever mean possible to get what
was needed...or what was wanted. Many times, over and over, she had
contemplated going into his room. "If you want it, take it. No one
will ever give you anything - not with out a string attached. I'm
the only one you can depend on now." He had told her that...so, so
many times. She knew how to break the codes. She could have.....
But...she never did. Some how she knew it would shatter her dreams.
Either she would be all alone, or she would never be able to return
to the place she called home. So she did was she thought was easier -
she swallowed what had been an inkling of emotions, and went upon
her business. She returned home, to her family. She pressed it down
and let her bitterness consisting of "what if" and "I should've"
consume her nights and her job for grandfather consume her days.
The swinging trapeze had stopped, long ago.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart [breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown] \\
A small, almost bitter laugh, escaped her throat and echoed within
the tent. Trowa Barton, now showered and dressed, looked up at
Dorothy as he came in to the big top. His friend was still up
there. Dorothy was a close friend - as close now as Relena or Cathy
or any other of his close friends. Quatre was right; she was as
sweet and as nice as he had thought. Dorothy had been around when
Cathy had been in the hospital from the accident with the tent. She
had visited when Quatre couldn't. Trowa realized, that she was
around - right when he needed some one. Sometimes right out there,
some times hanging around in the background.
Dorothy, bit her lip, the pink flesh easily becoming red from
pressure. He never even could tell. For a long time, she had shoved
it so far inwards...and when he told her she was living a lie.... It
hurt. Usually what people say rolled off. Quatre had helped to drag
up her father - that had stung like a bee sting compared to the
cannon balls that Trowa had thrown her way.
It was so cold, his words that day. And yet, while it had burned her
to the bones, it didn't bother him. The next time she had seen him
he was as happy as she had ever seen him. It was a "We're all done
fighting" type of party, so prevalent in the weeks after the wall.
She wasn't even there for long, but the image of him out-and-out
laughing amazed her. The sound was deep, and rich, and it made her
tingle inside. Dressed in khakis and a polo shirt he looked about
as dressed up as he would be and yet...he glowed with happiness. A
glow it seemed. She had frozen that frame in her mind - his head
back, his face filled with a smile, his rich voice echoing in her
head.
And here she was, out here again...and it didn't matter. They had
hung out like best buddies, how many times? It hadn't changed a
thing. It was all the same, there was no love for her here.
Friendship, mutual understanding, memories of times past. No road to
the future and no hope of feelings returned. Another bitter laugh
escaped, causing Trowa to look at her in alarm.
// Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played [role that you
played]
No more masquerade, you're one lonely star
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are] \\
'Bravo, Mr. Barton, Bravo. Congratulations for putting up with me.'
she thought, cynically. 'I wish I could continue this dance with you,
Trowa. I really do. I have to go on, while I still have rational on
my side. Goodbye Trowa, wonderful Trowa. I need to move on now. I
need to grow up, and you need to let me. You had found your
self...you know your heart. Mine is just waking up. God..please let
me leave here, with out hurting myself more than ever. He will never
love me, and I need to find myself. And one more thing, God, what
ever you do, don't let me fall for those eyes of his again. If I do,
I don't know if I could ever really escape.'
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
Dorothy pushed on air a bit, preparing for her flip down. She
needed momentum if she were to jump down - which was about the only
way from this high up. She needed to go, before she lost it. What
she didn't realize was she had already lost it...a few errant tears
were already crawling down her creamy cheek, dripping on her blue
dress straps before being absorbed by the cotton fabric. Or that
Trowa had climbed up the pole and was sitting on the platform that
most had used to get up to the bars she was on, normally. That he
had been watching her, or that he had changed once more - into a
white T-shirt and plaid pajama pants. She hadn't noticed that she
had been sitting up there for three hours after the show had end at
ten. Her trip had her miss the big party that was still winding down
for some and that she would be lucky to get to her hotel with no
questions asked.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
All the world is a stage [world is a stage]
And everyone has their part [has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You'd break my heart \\
Standing up, her knees popped from there long held position and she
had her calves file a slight protest. Grabbing the rope which held
her "swing" up in her left hand, she raised her right to her eyes.
'Dang it' she thought, with a small sniffle. 'I couldn't even wait
till I got home. Stupid emotions. I hate them,' anger now clouding
her thoughts, trying to make up for her sad, lost, and lonely
feelings.
Up to momentum, she prepared to jump, when a warm hand, a tan hand,
caught her wrist.
"Don't leave." a warm voice said. "Talk to me about it."
// I've always been in love with you
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you've always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
"I *can't*," she said, her voice wavering, as she stared out at the
open ground - now devoid of litter as well as people. Two blue
sandals had been paired together, placed approixmently infront of the
trapeze. Looking back at him, water in her eyes, she whispered
again. "I just can't, I'm sorry." Blinking back tears, tears she
never used to carry, she spoke once more. "I have to leave. Goodbye
Trowa."
Trowa always had the feeling in the back that one day Dorothy would
leave. 'I suppose, today is that day.' he reflected, 'but...I can
try...'
"Don't. For me." he said, quietly, looking at her tear streaked face
and water filled eyes; her light makeup had long ago smeared on her
face. "Stay. No one wants you to go. Your important to all of us.
Don't go." He pulled the trapeze over, his hand only leaving hers
for a moment, before capturing her once again, holding her on the
small platform in the air. "Don't leave." he said, his voice barely
above a whisper.
// I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye \\
Soon, through the growing darkness, he saw something that most never
saw - Dorothy Catalonia blushing. He smiled a small smile. Dorothy
had always been a friend. But, obviously, she felt something more -
strangely, it didn't ick him out. He kind of liked it. Was
this...was this why she was leaving? He could tell, the way she had
been acting - it wasn't until tomorrow, it would have been for a lot
longer.
"Stay here, Dorothy." he said, quietly, looking at her, nose to
nose. There wasn't any escaping the truth now. Her eyes were still
swimming in pools of tears, but her eyes shown with fear, confusion,
and her now becoming glaringly obvious love. How long had this been
going on, he wondered. Dorothy, took a chance and tried to study him
once more. She saw happiness, and concern. And...something a kin to
love. It surely wasn't her all consuming want...but whatever it was,
it was there. All along, she noted. That same look for the past six
months - not quite love, but almost. So hidden from himself, and she
was blind to it.
"Damn you!" she said, crying, and pounding on his chest. "This just
isn't fair! Why! Why do you do this to me? Do you enjoy causing me
pain?" The clown just responded by enveloping her into a conforting
hug, silencing her blows, and evoking her sobs. "It's not fair..."
she cried, her voice cracking. "I was ready! I finally had it all
planned out and you have to..go..go and do thiiisss!" she let out
with a small wail. Trowa rocked her back and forth, slightly,
murmuring soothing words, and smoothing her hair. It wasn't long
before her sobs subsided and they were on there way back down.
// Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Say good-bye \\
"Good night, Trowa," she said, grabbing up her sandals.
"Goodnight, not goodbye?" he asked, knowing that he would see her in
the morning.
"Goodnight." she affirmed. "I'll meet you for breakfast at Chedders,
like usual."
"Goodnight then, Dotty."
Dorothy smiled, blushing a bit once more, before vooming away. Trowa
watched her drive off, grinning a bit. 'No goodbyes any more.' he
thought.
~~~~~~~~
Okay, I wanted angst. My muse didn't.
Ryo: I like happy endings.
Grrr. R&R!!!
Chiri