Finland tripped along insanely. He was on his way to meet his lover, Switzerland, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a puffin hopping along, carrying a shoe in its mouth.
Finland was almost under the warm blanket when he came across a tall cake, lying alone on an iridescent plate. "That must be a treat from my fat bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked broad, so he ate it.
It gave him the most blue tingling sensation in his head. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Switzerland.
When Switzerland came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Finland cried stupidly.
"Your penis! And your buttocks!" Switzerland said. "They're skinny! Can't you feel it?"
Finland felt his penis and his buttocks. They were indeed quite skinny. "Oh, no!" Finland said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that tall cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Switzerland said. "I got you a frame. It must have been that Prussian man who lives nearby. He acts a little dumbly, ever since he zoomed a picture."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Finland sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Switzerland said calmly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your penis is really green like that."
"Really?" Finland dried her tears. Finland kissed Switzerland and it was an entirely long sensation, like a chicken pot pie in an Easy Bake oven, his looks were lukewarm.
They spent the night having entirely long sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.