We're not okay
Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel
(unknown)
It had started with a wedding. An utterly ridiculous institution to begin with, in his opinion. The fact that said wedding had been set to take place six months after the second wizarding war was something only he seemed bothered by. He had never deluded himself to believe that marriage was a fate form which he could escape. He had never questioned or fought on that matter. It was his duty after all to continue the line. But he figured duty lost any sense of importance in his life when he was forced to do the bidding of a madman all on the basis of duty to his family.
Yet despite all his grumblings about duty, it was duty albeit somewhat reluctantly that saw him attend the Abbott – MacMillian wedding. The invitation shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did – bleeding heart Hufflepuffs. But it did. And his mother had kicked up a fuss of new proportions, going on about the in-decorousness of declining a wedding invitation, especially mere months after a war they just barely won.
It mattered not, to many – if not most – that he had switched alliances. That he had practically sold out his father for the protection of his mother. His circumstances mattered not to anyone and he found that he rather liked it that way. He wouldn't stand for the barely concealed stares, pitying looks and poorly hushed whispers. He'd happily take their contempt over their pity. Draco Malfoy was, after all, a very proud man at his core.
He shifted slightly in his seat, his fingers dancing over the rim of his glass. The room was filled with the jovial people. Music filtered through the air, and though the night air was cool, a warming charm had been placed within the large tent. The tent in question was grand in making, filling the space of the garden of the MacMillian estate. If he was a man of such dim fitted illusions he might agree that it had been a rather beautiful ceremony. But the constant run of whiskey in his blood and nightmares in his mind had left him nothing but cynical to all illusions of the ever after. He was smart enough to know he probably needed help but was too proud to ask for it. He might have switched sides but he was still a fucking Slytherin, present company be damned.
So he sat in his seat at the back of the decorated tent, watching the dance floor fill with the inebriated witches and wizards. It had been the first wedding, the first act of normalcy since the end of the war, and so it had been welcomed with great enthusiasm.
"You can't sit in the corner sulking all night Draco," Pansy sighed taking a seat beside him.
"I'm not sulking," Draco grumbled lifting his glass to his lips. The amber liquid burned beautifully as it slipped down his throat.
"No, you're simply the life of the party," Pansy said her voiced laced with sharp sarcasm. "It's a fucking wedding Draco."
"It's too soon," Draco grumbled under his breath.
"Not for them," Pansy said looking towards the happy couple as they twirled about on the dance floor. Draco looked at his friend, raising a brow. "What?" she snapped feeling his eyes on her.
"I didn't think you were such a romantic Pans," He teased.
"Sod off," she swore.
"I guess those Gryffindors are finally rubbing off on you." Draco continued.
Pansy rolled her eyes and took a heavy sip of the champagne in her hand. "You and I both know that I am not capable of such compulsion."
"Could have fooled me," Draco mumbled, and then added rather snidely "Are you going to offer to give me a hug next?" which only earned him a swift kick under the table from his friend. "Fuck!" he swore as her heel made contact with his leg.
"You're being an arse," Pansy said evenly.
"Were you under some misguided delusion that I was what…going to play nice tonight?" Draco asked.
"No, I simply thought that perhaps you had grown tired of this act," Pansy answered not at all deterred by Draco's behaviour. It had become somewhat of a familiar dance between them in the last few months.
"And I would have thought you'd have grown tired of us having this conversation again." Draco countered rolling his eyes. "I don't need a bloody babysitter Pansy. Go back to the party."
Pansy sighed heavily, "Draco…" she whispered.
"Don't," he said sharply. "Just don't."
Pansy looked at her friend, doing her best to hide the concern she felt for him. She knew he wouldn't appreciate that. She watched as he shot back the remaining amber liquid in his glass before signalling for another. He was in pain, she knew that. He knew that but refused any sort of attempt to absolve his suffering. It was almost as if he had kept it in place – a sentence he cast upon himself as punishment for the sins of his father.
"Go back to the party Pansy," he said though he didn't meet his friend's eyes.
"Fine," she conceded, "But you can't keep pretending you're fine."
"I am fine," he bit out and then sighed. "I am fine Pans." He said more for her benefit than his own.
Pansy knew Draco well enough to know that was his way of ending their conversation. Without saying another word, she picked up her flute of champagne and returned to the party.
"You could have made that sound a little more convincing you know," A familiar voice said.
Draco turned in his seat to see Hermione fucking Granger leaning against the opening of the tent. She wore a golden dress of delicate silk that hugged her well. It had a long slit running up the one side that teased at Draco's imagination. The silk wrapped around her bust firmly with only a thin delicate chain around her neck. It was simple yet sexy all at the same time and Draco had to wonder if Granger knew just how breathtaking she looked in that moment. Her cheeks looked slightly flushed and Draco noticed her fingertips holding onto a nearly empty glass of wine.
"There's nothing to convince her off." He said gruffly. "I am fine."
Hermione snorted in blatant disagreement, "Nobody's fine Malfoy. Don't delude yourself to the fact that you might be the exception."
"Well I am rather exceptional," he said smugly.
Hermione rolled her eyes and moved towards the table. "Gods, Pansy's right. You are an arse."
Draco frowned slightly at her words and it only deepened when he saw her pulling out a chair. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Sitting," Hermione replied as if it were the most obvious thing.
"Why here?"
"I don't need your permission Malfoy. I can sit wherever I bloody want." Hermione replied.
Draco threw her a contemplative look before he smirked, "I didn't think you enjoyed my company so much, Granger. I'm touched."
"That you are," she said giving him a pointed look. "But between Mrs Weasley and Ron believe it or not you're the lesser of two evils right now." She said with an exasperated huff. She looked back towards the crowd of people, and ease set upon her at the fact that neither Weasley was in her sight.
"Trouble in paradise Granger?" he asked trying to sound as snide as possible. Though given the look Hermione gave him she saw through his bullshit behaviour. Off course she would, she perhaps knew him better than anyone else did – but that wasn't something either were willing to admit to. To do so would be admitting to a familiarity that both were not ready for.
"How can they think getting married now is a good idea?" she asked frustrated surprisingly Draco with the amount of ire in her voice.
"Apparently they're happy," Draco replied wincing almost as if the words left a sour taste in his mouth.
"What?" Hermione asked looking at him suddenly. Draco motioned to the happy dancing couple. Hermione shook her head, "No, they are happy and they do deserve it."
Draco frowned in clear confusion. "Who exactly are we talking about here?"
"Ron!" Hermione cried unable to control her filter. Clearly, all the elf wine had loosened her tongue worse than she should have imagined because there was no way she was willingly telling Draco fucking Malfoy all her troubles.
"What's the Weasel's issue now?" Draco asked. He moved his leg just in time to avoid Hermione's foot as she tried to aim a swift kick at his shins. Hermione didn't say anything for a moment, she simply sat next to him chewing on her lip. Draco couldn't deny he was intrigued far more than he should be. "Granger?" he probed.
"He wants to get married." She mumbled her eyes wide with horror.
Draco gave her a funny look, "You didn't know that?"
Hermione whipped her head to look at him so fast; he was surprised she hadn't given herself whiplash. "What?" she cried.
"Gods Granger, you had to have known this was where the two of you were heading. Everybody knows it… but you apparently." He said amused.
Hermione looked affronted. "Who the hell are you to decide that for me?" she cried. "What makes you or anybody for that matter to make that kind of assumption about my life?"
Draco scowled and leaned forward with his hands on the table till he was a hairs breath away from her. "Don't think for a second Granger that you're the only one who's had all their choices taken away. That you're the only one who had to deal with people placing their expectations or assumptions on you. You're not the exception." He said throwing her words back at her.
"I didn't say I was the exception!" Hermione snapped. "I just think it's unfair that everyone should get a say in how I lead my life!"
"Welcome to my world Granger," Draco mumbled but Hermione didn't hear him.
"What if I don't want to get married now...or ever?" Hermione asked more to herself than Draco, "What if I want to travel or study more?"
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Draco asked sarcastically.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "You know the least you could do was try to be less of a condescending twat."
"Now whatever gave you the illusion I was capable of that?" Draco chipped back.
Hermione sighed, "It's not fair," she mumbled.
"Nothing about anything that has happened these last few years Granger is fair," Draco told her. "But you're going to have to learn to live with it."
Hermione had the feeling that Draco was talking about something more but she decided not to push it. She wasn't sure if she'd have enough alcohol for both of them to go down that road right now.
"Is that what you're doing?" Hermione questioned instead, "Learning to live with it?"
"Of course," he responded with a smirk.
"Well it bloody hell doesn't look like it," she grumbled.
"Looks can be deceiving," Draco shot back.
Hermione didn't say anything further. Instead, she brought the glass to her lips and took a long sip from it. Draco watched her curiously and when she put the empty glass on the table, she caught him looking but all he did was merely smirk.
"What?" She asked uncertainly.
"If you're going to drink, my dear Granger, best do it right," He told her before motioning for two glasses to be brought to them.
Hermione raised her brow at him as the glass was placed before her, "Are you, Draco Malfoy, actually offering me a drink?" she asked incredulously.
Draco scoffed, "I'm merely offering you a chance to get drunk properly."
"I didn't know there was a wrong way to getting drunk," Hermione commented eyeing the amber liquid in the tumbler.
"Well there's the conventional way and then there's the Slytherin way," he told her smirking.
"There's a Slytherin way to getting drunk?" she asked sceptically.
Draco smirked before pushing the glass towards her," What do you say Granger?" he asked, "Are you brave enough?"
Hermione scowled before she reached for the glass, "The question, Malfoy, is are you ready?"
If he was impressed by her willingness to go along with his plan, he didn't show it. Instead, he tipped his glass towards her before throwing back the delicious fiery liquid.
Hermione didn't hesitate, she threw back the liquor surprisingly enjoying the slow burn it left as it made its way down. The warmth filled her and she couldn't help but return Draco's smirk.
"Another?" he asked and she nodded.
When they had thrown back their second shot Draco leaned forward on the table once more, "I didn't think you had it in you," he told her.
"Now Malfoy, whatever made you think you knew me well enough to make that kind of assumption?" Hermione asked him, quirking a brow as she did.
"Touché," he replied.
Before they could say another word, Pansy rejoined their table throwing hesitant looks between them.
"Granger," Pansy greeted.
"Hello Pansy," Hermione said with a small smile. "Enjoying the party?" she asked.
"Uh...yes," she answered before looking at her best friend again. "He's not being an arse again is he?" she asked Hermione.
"Not right now," Hermione told her.
"I'm sitting right here!" Draco objected.
Pansy ignored him, "Weasel's looking for you by the way," she told Hermione and then gently motioned over her shoulder. Hermione looked to where Pansy had indicated to see Ron in conversation with his mother and another witch she was not familiar with. Thankfully though, he hadn't seemed to notice her just yet as he had his back to her.
"Well this was fun while it lasted," she grumbled rising from her chair.
"Where are you going?" Pansy asked.
"I am really not in the mood to get into what will inevitably be another fight with Ron and his mother," she told them.
Pansy was rather shocked at how forthcoming Hermione was being and for a moment looked to Draco accusingly. He merely rolled his eyes and they both turned their attention to the brunette in front of them.
"Thanks for the drinks Malfoy," she said before nodding to Pansy. But before she could take another step she saw Ron turning, almost comically in slow motion.
She drew in a breath waiting for him to call out to her by the abysmal nickname, but instead, she felt a warm hand grasp around her wrist and then she was all but being pulled out of the tent into the crisp night.
"Hey!" she cried, "Malfoy! What the hell are you doing?" she cried indignantly.
"Yes, Draco what are you doing?" Pansy asked following them out of the tent towards the pool Draco was pulling Hermione towards.
"Isn't it obvious Granger? I'm saving your arse...unless of course, you want to go back and have Mrs Weasley introduce you Betty and Francine?" he asked turning to throw her an infuriating smirk.
"Who the fuck are Betty and Francine?" Hermione spat.
"Wedding planners," Draco and Pansy answered in unison.
Hermione looked at both of them shocked before tugging on the arm that Draco still held. "What?" she asked demanding in the most inarticulate way for an explanation.
"They're Britain's top Wizarding wedding planners," Pansy told her. "They practically threw this wedding together in a week."
"Your boyfriend and his mother were talking to Francine," Pansy told her. When all Hermione did was give her a rather clueless look, Pansy knew she had to continue with an explanation. "Francine isn't one for idle small talk. Us normal folk bore her so you can bet if she was talking to them it was about one thing."
Hermione's eyes grew in horror, "Merlin!" she cried. Pansy threw her a sympathetic look as they made their way towards the pool that sat at the back of the property and a safe distance from the party-goers.
Hermione realized Draco had yet to release her hand but she didn't say anything, interested to see what he was planning on doing next. The pool itself was large and the moon reflected the calm water. There were several lanterns that lit up the area well enough for them to see but not bright enough to be seen from a distance. There were also several comfy looking lounging chairs that Draco directed them towards.
"Thank you," Hermione told him once they were seated.
"Don't mention it," he told her before taking a sip from the tumbler in his hand. When did he get that? As if sensing his question he smirked before calling for an elf. Hermione was about to protest when she saw the clean clothes the little elf wore.
"What can Daisy do for master?" the elf asked him.
"How about a bottle of my father's finest Firewhisky?" he asked the elf surprising Hermione with his gentle tone.
Daisy frowned, "Young master is drinkings too much of that these days!" she scolded.
"I tried to tell him, Daisy," Pansy pipped in ignoring Draco's scowl.
"It's not just for me," Draco objected motioning to the two girls in front of him.
Daisy noticed Hermione and squealed in delight, "Miss Granger! How nices it is to meets you!"
"It's wonderful to meet you too Daisy," Hermione offered kindly.
"So about that Firewhisky?" Draco dared to ask the elf.
Daisy glared at him, huffed and then snapped her fingers. The bottle appeared in her hand.
"You spoil him, Daisy," Pansy chided lightly.
When Draco reached for the bottle, Daisy moved it further from his grasp, "Young master can have this but he can't be askings Daisy for hangover potion tomorrow morning."
"That's not fair," Draco whined.
The elf looked triumphant and was about to send the bottle back when Draco agreed.
"Fine," he mumbled, "I won't need a potion tomorrow anyway."
Daisy huffed, "Yous always say that!" she scolded before handing the bottle of Firewhisky over.
"Thank you," Draco replied.
"Young master needs to take better cares of himself," Daisy muttered before disappearing with a pop!
Hermione stared at the space the elf had just vacated, before turning to look at the Slytherins. Draco was pouring them each a healthy hand of the Firewhisky and Pansy was fiddling around in her bag.
"Wha-… who was that?" Hermione managed to ask. In all her time, she hadn't seen that particular elf around Draco or Pansy.
"Daisy," they answered in unison.
Hermione sighed, "Yes that much i got. I mean whose elf is she?"
"Mine," Draco answered. "But Daisy's practically raised us all."
"Us?" Hermione questioned.
"Yeah. Pansy, Theo, Daphne and myself," Draco told her handing her the tumbler.
"I see," Hermione murmured.
Surprisingly Draco and Pansy chuckled, "Did you think we were always evil little devils, Granger?" he asked sardonically.
"Well the thought had crossed my mind," she bit back.
"Can't say I blame you," Pansy added.
"Whose side are you on?" Draco asked aggrieved.
"My own!" Pansy told him.
Draco huffed and Hermione tried really hard to hold back her laugh. Surprisingly they settled into an easy silence. Perhaps it was the copious amounts of alcohol or the distant tinkling music but it was the first time all night that Hermione didn't feel so tense. She looked up, noticing the worried looks Pansy was shooting Draco.
"Don't," Draco said almost growling at his friend. "Just don't." He said echoing his plea from earlier.
"Am I just supposed to ignore this?" Pansy asked sounding almost incredulous.
"Yes," Draco snapped. "Just leave it alone Pansy," he said turning away from them.
Thankfully their attention was thrown from their argument to footsteps fast approaching. All three quickly reached for their wands, waiting silently, to see who would step into the light. As the steps drew closer, Hermione clutched her wand tighter, until she saw the figures of Theo Nott and Daphne Greengrass.
Pansy sighed lowering her wand immediately, "Fucking hell Theodore," Pansy swore.
Theo rolled his eyes holding his hands up in surrender almost mockingly, "Easy there darling, it's just me." Pansy mumbled something under her breathe while Daphne chuckled beside him. "And don't call me Theodore."
"So, this is where the Gryffindor Princess is hiding," Daphne mused looking at the fellow Gryffindor curiously. She accepted the glass of Firewhisky Draco held out to her and Theo.
Theo took the glass from him, giving him a hard look. Draco held up his finger stopping his friend immediately, "Don't." he said.
"That must be your motto for the night Draco," Pansy snipped.
"I won't have to say if so often if you lot just fucking listened the first time," Draco shot back.
They didn't say anything more on the matter, thankfully and Draco went back to dutifully topping up everyone's drinks. Hermione had never thought she would be sitting, drinking in the dim light with Slytherins. But she found it oddly peaceful. For the most part, their conversation was kept light, Pansy and Daphne teased each other back on forth a little and eventually Hermione too. Theo seemed to take great pleasure in making her blush. Soon enough though Daphne had managed to pull Pansy into a rousing debate about new changes coming to old laws and Theo and Draco were murmuring quietly on the other side.
"Apparently there's a new law coming," Daphne told them. "Something they haven't done in almost two centuries."
Pansy bit her lip in thought and even Hermione felt some concern seeping into her.
"But there's no guarantee it has anything to do with us," Pansy reasoned a moment later. "Where did you hear this anyway?"
"Word gets around rather fast in the wizarding world. Besides my father is still on the council for the Wizengamot," Daphne answered. "I think it was in the paper the other day but everyone knows you can't trust the drivel the Daily Prophet writes."
"Wait, are you telling me the Wizengamot are still making new laws... even in wake of what we've just been through?" Hermione asked aghast.
"Yeah," Daphne answered sadly.
"But how?" Hermione pressed.
"Well apparently the wizarding world can't be left without a leader and until such a time as a suitable candidate is found, the old families still have some power, unfortunately," Daphne told them all. "It's part of why this rumoured new law is moving so fast," she added.
"What do you think it is?" Pansy asked looking around.
"More importantly Pans is whether or not it will affect us," Theo said joining their conversation.
"Knowing our luck, it probably will," Draco mumbled.
Deciding it was best not to ponder on the unknown they quickly changed the topic again. They were almost three-quarters of the way into the Firewhisky when the mood turned rather woeful.
"Have you heard from your father?" Pansy dared to ask looking at Theo.
Theo scowled downing the amber liquid more forcefully. "Yes," he said.
"I take it then that it wasn't a pleasant correspondence," Hermione said tentatively.
To her surprise, both Draco and Theo chuckled albeit a little darkly. "In case you haven't realized Granger, we're somewhat of a disappointment to our parents," Draco told her.
Hermione looked at the Slytherins around her noting they weren't in the least bit surprised by Draco's words, nor did they object to them.
"Okay, well I can understand why you and your father don't get along," Hermione said pointing to Draco.
Draco snorted derisively, "You make it sound like I broke his favourite bottle of Firewhisky."
"No, you drank that," Pansy mumbled.
Draco smirked at her before turning back to the Gryffindor.
"Well, then how would you put it?" Hermione questioned helplessly.
"I sold him out, Granger. Simple as that," he sneered through Hermione recognized that it lacked his usual venom. "We sold them all out," he said waving his arm around to his friends.
Hermione looked around the group to see them all wearing the same stony face. She could remember, clear as day, the day Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson walked into the Order Headquarters, asking for help in return for protection for their mothers. It hadn't helped much in Pansy's case. Her father had killed her mother two weeks later, leaving her completely alone save for Draco and Narcissa as a surrogate family. It had taken much persuasion from Dumbledore but eventually they were enlisted into the fold and Draco was very right in saying they have sold out their fathers. Without their instrumental role as spy's, they would most probably still be fighting a losing war.
"And now we're branded traitors. Good for nothing, useless blood traitors." Theo told her.
"And you're okay with that?" Hermione asked softly.
"There isn't much to it," Theo replied. "Draco's right. We sold them out. Simple as that," Theo repeated and Hermione felt her heart break a little at his dejected tone. They didn't deserve this.
"No!" she cried slamming her glass down on the little table beside her. "No, it's not that simple! How can you say that like... like ..." she stumbled over her words.
"Because it's true Hermione," Theo said. "We've made ourselves traitors in the eyes of our fathers. We're..." he stopped looking around at his friends for help.
"As my father told me, we're worse than the blood-traitors and mudbloods he's had to kill in the name of his wonderful Dark Lord." Pansy spat. "I believed it was a good -for -nothing- waste - of time - rat that he'd called me." she laughed humourlessly. "All because we didn't want to fight," she whispered more to herself that to everyone else.
"Because we believed in more than their hypocritical ideals," Daphne added looking at her feet rather than at her friends. "Their beloved Dark Lord was a half-blood and yet he had them killing good witches and wizards because he had issues with his own heritage."
Hermione sat there biting her lip as she took it all in. She realised, quite shockingly that in all the work they had done with each other in all that time during the war, she hadn't exactly taken the time to really find out just what they had left behind. They had all been so occupied with trying to figure out a way to trust each other and to not die.
"What made you leave?" She asked looking at Theo.
"My father was an exceptionally cruel man. He took great pleasure in punishing my mother. She was much younger than him you see, an arranged marriage by her father who all but sold her to my father, in hopes he would get closer to the Dark Lord." he started looking into his glass rather than at her. "She tried very hard to keep him happy but it was never enough."
"What happened?" Hermione asked almost too afraid to know.
"He killed her. I saw him strangle the life out of my mother," Theo told her, his voice strained, "I was nine."
Hermione gasped, while Daphne laid her head on Theo's shoulder. "Why?" she whispered.
"He thought she was being too soft with me. Didn't want her corrupting his only heir, so he killed her. I was hiding in that stupid clock, and all I did was watch. I watched as he drained the life from my mother's body," he answered.
"That's horrible," Hermione choked out. "But Theo he murdered your mother... why was he never in Azkaban... I mean before now?"
Theo laughed, "Because he was too well connected. Had all the right people in his circle to help him make it look like an accident." Theo said looking a Draco who shifted uncomfortably.
"Your father?" Hermione asked looking at the blond. Draco simply nodded.
Hermione looked between Draco and Theo, trying to take in everything she learned. "How could you still be friends?" Hermione asked without thinking. She winced a moment later realising how callous her question might seem. It certainly wasn't any business of hers... but Merlin be damned she was curious.
"It wasn't Draco's fault!" Theo said defensively. "He is not his father's keeper." He told her looking her straight in the eye. "None of us are."
"Is that why you did it then? Is that why you sold them out?" Hermione clarified.
"Yes and no," Theo answered, he looked at Draco unsure of how to explain it.
"Our fathers are monsters, Granger," Draco said plainly. "There's no excuse for it, no reason or need for understanding. They're fucking monsters."
Theo sighed, "We - I got tired of seeing the cruelty my father favoured. Make no mistake Hermione, we are Slytherins to our very core - ambitious and cunning and full of fucking pride but even we have our limits." He told her as silence settled upon the group.
Hermione took a steadying breath before she spoke again, "And your fathers pushed every single one," Hermione said with understanding.
"And they enjoyed every moment of it," Pansy said bitterly.
Hermione looked at the witch beside her, sadness seeping into her gaze. Without thinking, Hermione reached out to grasp Pansy's hand in her own, hoping to offer some kind of comfort. To her surprise, Pansy didn't pull away.
"I - " Hermione started but Pansy quickly
"Don't you dare fucking apologise," Pansy snapped and Hermione tried to pull her hand back but Pansy grasped her wrist quickly. Instinctively, Hermione's fingers itched towards her wand, but she didn't pull it out. "You killed him," Pansy said more than asked, grasping her wrist a little more tightly.
"I did," Hermione told her wondering if she was about to experience the wrath of Pansy Parkinson. Her father might have been a Death Eater, but he was still her blood.
"Let's get one thing straight Hermione," she said, "I am not sorry he is dead." At this Hermione looked at her with wide eyes. "He was an utter bastard and I am not sorry he is dead. Don't come asking me for absolution over the fact that you killed him, because you won't get any from me. He deserved what he got. The beautiful irony that a witch he deemed lesser than him was the cause of his demise is something I know will have him burning in the depths of hell for years to come."
"He was still your father," Hermione said softly.
"The only thing we had in common was blood and a name that is so tainted in darkness, I don't know if I'll ever escape it," Pansy told her. "Trust me, he won't be missed."
"He won't be the only one," Theo said.
Hermione nodded, looking around and slowly realising there was much more to this group than she could have ever imagined. Each had come to the fold with stories so wrought in pain and misery, Hermione didn't understand how they could have survived it, let alone a war.
"Alcohol," Draco told her,
"What?" Hermione asked confused.
"You asked how we survived it all?" He repeated. Hermione flushed not realising she had spoken her question out loud. "Alcohol. Copious amounts of it." He told her smirking.
Daphne rolled her eyes, "Don't listen to him. He's been perpetually drunk since the war ended. He thinks its an ideal way to deal with everything that has happened."
"It is working!" Draco objected.
"No Draco!" Pansy scolded. "Ignoring your pain is not a healthy way of dealing with it."
"And what exactly do you suggest we do, Pans?" He asked his building frustration evident in his voice.
"Anything but this! You're ignoring the problem!" Pansy pushed. "That's not going to do yourself any favours in the future."
"What the fuck ever gave you the notion that I was thinking about a future?" Draco snapped frustrated.
"So what, you fight a war to just drown yourself in whiskey?" Hermione asked.
"You stay out of this," Draco glared pointing his finger at her. When Hermione opened her mouth to inevitably argue, Draco spoke over her, "I acknowledge that you're an insufferable know it all but believe me when I say this is none of your business." He stood and began pacing before them, clearly agitated by the turn the conversation had taken.
Hermione huffed but didn't get a chance to say anything because Pansy interjected, "Leave Hermione alone Draco. She is only trying to help."
"With what?" he asked. "I am fine!"
"You're not fucking fine!" Theo yelled exasperatedly at his friend. "None of us are fine! You don't just go through everything we've been through and come out fine!" he yelled looking around at them. He rose from his seat, coming to stand before Draco and Hermione watched as the two friends faced off. "You're content to just sit here and pretend that everything is fine," he seethed. "But you are the furtherest thing from fine!"
"And what do you suggest we do Theo?" Draco asked snidely glaring at his friend, "Shall we go speak to those delightful ministry approved head healers and tell them about how gloriously fucked up our childhood was?" Draco asked his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"It wouldn't hurt to try something!" Theo reasoned.
"No one is going to care Theo!" Draco yelled in frustration. "They didn't listen then and they're not going to now."
"You don't know that!" Pansy argued.
"Of course I do!" Draco shot back, turning to look at her. "You've alluded yourself to think that because you've helped take down the Dark Lord suddenly they care about what happens to us." He stopped his pacing to face them all. "They didn't believe Theo when he said he saw his mother being strangled by his father, they certainly didn't believe you when you told them your father was going to kill you mother and look how that turned out!" Draco roared.
"And you've alluded yourself into thinking that you're above help!" Pansy yelled angrily.
"I don't need some specialist to tell me how fucked up my life has been Pansy," Draco said harshly. "I've lived it, I still have the fucking scars," he cried aggressively ripping at the sleeve of his shirt so that his Dark Mark was suddenly on display, "You think they're going to take what I have to say seriously when I have this on my arm?" He spat venomously.
Pansy looked away unable to see his mark any longer. Draco was the only one among them that had been branded. Punishment for Lucius' failure. Had their fathers known about their intentions to turn coat from the Dark side they would most likely have all been branded, as punishment.
Hermione shifted in her seat but she didn't get a chance to react further because Draco was raging on.
"You forget Pansy, I was raised by a monster. He made me in his image," Draco said with disgust.
"We were all raised by monsters Draco," Pansy reminded him.
"Then you should know better than anyone that all the talking in the world is not going to change who we are," Draco told her. "We were made to be unlovable. Made only to further their expectations. The war has ended and you still don't get it! None of you get it!" he cried angrily looking at his friends.
"Get what?" Daphne whispered.
"We still lost," Draco answered. "We fought and almost died for a world and society that doesn't want us! You think we're actually going to get that bullshit happily ever after?" he asked them."If that's the case then you haven't been paying attention! There is no ever after. No epic love waiting at the end, just us. Battered and broken disappointments!" he told Pansy. "So horrible are we, that our own fucking blood tried to get rid of us! I still have the scars of his fucking failure and we all have the nightmares of their torment!"
"Draco enough!" Daphne scolded raising her voice for the first time all night. Immediately Draco sobered up and looked at Pansy to see her face etched in pain. Pain that he had caused.
"Fuck," he swore, "Pans... I'm sorry... I didn't ...I..." he stumbled over his words but without hesitation, he reached down and pulled Pansy into his arms. She hid her face in his chest and Draco whispered into her ear. "No one is going to listen," he repeated over and over again into her ear. "There's no point."
"I'd listen," Hermione said softly.
Draco and Pansy both froze and then Pansy turned her face to look at Hermione, "What?" Daphne asked.
"I will listen. You talk and I will listen," Hermione explained.
"Why?" Pansy asked disbelievingly.
"Because you deserve for someone to listen to you." Hermione responded, "And you're not unlovable." she added looking into Draco's silver eyes.
Draco's face twisted into a sneer but Pansy's steel grip on his arms stopped his snide remark. Not knowing how to respond without his usual sarcasm, Draco didn't say anything which in turn made Hermione very nervous.
"If you don't want to that's okay but I promise I will listen. Just listen. I have no idea how to analyze you but I know elf wine helps. That and talking about it." Hermione pressed.
"We don't need your pity, Granger." Draco snapped.
"It's not pity, Draco," she responded coolly, "I am much too smart that I know the last thing you'd want is pity."
"Then what the hell is this?" Draco asked.
"An olive branch," Hermione said after a moment's thought.
"For what?" he asked frowning.
"Friendship," Hermione answered doing her best to hide her surprise that Draco understood her muggle reference.
Draco laughed, "You want to be friends?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yes. Why is that so hard to believe?"
For once Draco didn't seem to have an answer for her. "You were raised by a monster, but I don't believe that you are one," Hermione told him sincerely. "You say you were created in his image, and at first glance, I guess people might believe that is true, but I know better."
"Do you now?" Draco questioned sardonically.
"Yes, I am the brightest witch of our age," Hermione reminded him with a little smirk of her own.
"And what is it that you think you know?" Draco asked not bothering to hide the bite in his voice. Though the moment the words left his mouth, he regretted it. He feared far too greatly what her response might be.
"I know that despite the fact that you're probably the most arrogant man I have ever met in my life, you're almost the smartest. Your scores were only second behind mine Draco," she told him surprising him. "I know that you love your mother fiercely so much so that you were willing to die for her and I know that very fact proves to me that you're no monster. And despite what you may believe, you're not unlovable. If that were true, it wouldn't be you Pansy seeks comfort from. You're not as alone as you might like to believe Draco," she concluded softly. "None of you are." she added looking at the silent three other occupants.
All Slytherins looked at her in surprise and Hermione felt herself flushing under their heavy stares.
"What?" she questioned softly snapping their attention back into place.
They looked at each other and Hermione was sure they were having a silent conversation.
Theo looked at her with a smirk, "Looks like you have yourself a couple new friends, Hermione."
Hermione smiled back and this time no one objected when Draco refilled their glasses. "So anyone in the mood for more truth-telling?" she asked.
}{}{}{}{}{}{
AN: This is a short multi chapter fic I have been working on. Like the summary says - its' rather unconventional and the coming chapters will be dealing with a lot of rather controversial topics within the fandom. Furthermore, this story deals mainly with the Slytherins and the things they most likely would have suffered (before, during and after the war). As a fellow Slytherin, I feel that a lot of the time, these characters are greatly misjudged. So i'm writing them in a new light - giving them a fair chance if you please. If this is going to upset you I suggest that you don't read any further. I do hope though that you enjoy the story and that it gets you thinking and questioning things. For those who have read my other stories know that I write much longer chapters but I am trying something a little different here. The idea of minimalism - saying more but using fewer words. I hope in some way I have managed to achieve this. While I welcome criticism, I will not be tolerating flames. Don't tell me you hate it, tell me what I did wrong. I don't have beta and I have tried to edit this as best I can - so please do forgive anything I might have missed. (if anyone is interested in helping with the beta business you can PM me)
This story is almost complete and I will be updating every week, though if you leave enough reviews I might update sooner!
On a side note, for those following Coveted, I assure you that I have not abandoned it. The chapters for that story are much longer and require more time to get all the details right. I hope to be updating that soon! Thank you for all your love and support!
xoxo
Immortal Dragon Empress