You're Guardian Angel

Destiel Slash fic. Inspired by You're Guardian Angel by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Spoilers from 8x02. Castiel has made some bad decisions and in purgatory, he tries to make up for them by keeping away from Dean. But Dean won't stand to be away from Castiel. Not a song fic

"I left because the moment I got here, I had a price on my head," Cas said. "I left to protect you."

"I don't care! We know how to kill them and did it once," I said. "We can do it again."

Cas didn't look convinced. Can't he tell I want to repay him for all the good times? He should let me protect him once in a while, rather than the other way around. He doesn't have to be the protector all the time. I'm stronger than he thinks I am, even if I am a human.

What he's done in the past, though it hurt me dearly, none of it matters.

Without him, I'd have given up a long time ago. Without Cas, I would have betrayed myself when the world felt like it was crashing down around me. Without Cas—who'd be around to kick my ass when I need it to be kicked?

I want to repay him.

"Come with us, Cas," I say. Benny clears his throat. I glance at him. He's shifting eyes from me and Cas. "We have a way to get out of here."

"How?"

"We're working on it," I tell him.

"It's in its experimental phase," Benny says. He and Cas stare at each other. Anger? Jealousy? Perhaps both are reflected off the angel and vampire.

"No," Cas said, looking away from Benny and at me. "I can't risk you getting hurt again. I've done too much. You can't trust me."

"Cas, I do trust you," I say, grabbing his shoulders. "I forgive you for everything. You're my family as much as Sam is. I don't want to lose you too. If there's even a small chance the three of us can get out of here together, then let's go for it!"

"Dean…" Cas said, gently prying my hands off his shoulders. "I feel the same. Which is why it is more important that we stay away."

"So it's not okay for you to lose me, but totally cool for me to lose you?!" I shout. "That kind of thing goes both ways!"

"I'm going to go scout," Benny said, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He vanishes through the trees.

Now I am alone with Cas.

"I'm only trying to protect you."

"What do you think I'm trying to do, you idiot?" I shout, grabbing his coat's collar and shaking him. "You're all I have here that keeps me connected to our world. I won't lose you and you sure as hell won't lose me!"

"Dean…"

"I love you," I declare. It feels good to finally get that off my chest. "Damn it, Cas, I love you." I rest my head on his chest. "I love you."

"Who's the idiot now?" Cas said gently. "I love you, Dean. I thought you didn't notice me because I wasn't a woman."

I look up at him. He thought I didn't notice him? Well, I did and it took me a while to accept it. It was a huge revelation for me. It scared the hell out of me at first.

I straighten and kiss him.

"Come with us," I urge him, releasing my hold on his coat. "Please, Cas. Come with me. I'm getting out of here and I want you to come with me. Either that or I'm staying. I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Dean…"

"No, Cas. Never again. Everyone makes mistakes."

"Mistakes that almost destroy the world?"

"Well," I say, "not on that level. But I forgive you, Cas. I really do. Besides, who out of our crazy family haven't tried to destroy the world once or twice? I just know I can't live without you anymore. Cas, I need you. Let me protect you for once, will you?"

Cas averts his eyes, staring at the river. He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets. His brow is furrowed. I wait patiently for him to finish thinking.

"Let's go home together."