It started with five words. A question. "Katniss, will you marry me?" were the words. The words that started my life with Peeta. The life I told myself I wouldn't have. So I stood there, kind of in disbelief. I mean, it's not like I hadn't seen this coming. We'd been together since the rebellion and he'd mentioned it several times, but I'd brushed it off. I'd think, 'Maybe one day, when I'm ready.' But that day never seem to came. I didn't think I was ready to be tied that closely to him.
Strangely, throughout that weeks prior to the proposal, I'd noticed myself thinking maybe it wouldn't be hard. Little things would happen where our conversations made me realize how similar we already were, how close we already were. No one on the planet had gone through what I had, and the same went with Peeta, but he lived the most similar life to me. We completely understood each other and it was nothing to be scared of.
That's when I realized what I was scared of. I was scared of the past coming back to bite me. I'd technically been engaged to Peeta before, though against my will. And when I thought of a wedding I thought of a big event with tons of random faces from the capitol sitting in folding chairs while I recited my scripted vows. Cameras flashing in my face and worst of all, President Snow sitting in the back tapping his fingers as if he was controlling me. Katniss Everdeen, the puppet. I wasn't scared of marriage, I was scared of the wedding.
That's why when he asked me I said, "Yes." And he smiled at me. He had asked me to help him knead some bread before he asked, and I had happily obliged. We had just been kneading the bread, talking, laughing, and he asked me. It took me a few seconds to answer. Then he kissed me, and it felt different. It felt more exciting than the ones in the last few years. When we broke apart he looked at me and said, "I got you a ring, I'll go grab it." I wanted to stop him. But he ran out of the room practically jumping and came back shortly after. He took the ring out of the box and was about to slide it onto my hand when I pulled it back.
"Wait!" I yelled. His eyes bulged. "I don't want a wedding." He looked at me and slid the ring onto my finger.
"Ok." I took a deep breath and hugged him. He completely understood me.