Bully.
Because this time when Lucy was bullied, it was different.
{Will you pause to break my heart?}
"Loooser~"
"Haha she's so ugly!"
"Stupid winch!"
"No one wants you here!"
"You're so pathetic."
Lucy walked down the school hallways, eyes downcast. She tried hard not to meet the eyes of others and provoke them once again to yell at her. She tightened her arms around her books, biting her lip to keep her tears in.
She was strong. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of it.
So why was she in the bathroom sobbing?
Maybe she should just end this.
"Looks like we win!" Totomaru smirked, baseball bat over his shoulder. Lucy panted, glaring at him through narrowed eyes. It hurt, oh god how it hurt. She was in so much pain she could barely stand it. Her left temple was currently oozing blood, making it hard to understand what the thugs in front of her were saying.
But one thing was clear.
They lost.
And it was all her fault.
Again.
Lucy clenched and unclenched her hands, her bangs covering her tear stained eyes. She couldn't cry, not yet at least. Just a little while longer, when she's alone. That's when it always happened.
"Haha losers! Maybe you should stop trying when you know you are going to get beat so bad." The girl snickered along with her other friends, soon guffawing as if it was hilarious. Natsu, Erza, Gray, and Lucy remained silent, all panting from exhaustion. Natsu was shaking with anger, Lucy could see he wanted to knock them out. She was so humiliated. The thugs soon left, leaving all of them in silence.
Every night those thugs from Phantom Academy come and pick a fight, just because they know Natsu will. Lucy couldn't stand the fighting; she was too weak. She was pitiful.
"I'm so sorry-" Lucy began softly, once again apologizing for losing.
"You're always sorry!" Natsu exploded, turning on her with glowing red eyes. Lucy stared at him in shock, startled by his coldness towards her. He looked downright furious, making her slightly scared.
"But it doesn't matter! It never does! You're so weak it's not even funny! I don't know why I hang out with you-" Natsu froze in his sudden rant, eyes wide in shock as he slowly turned to face Lucy. Lucy's doe brown eyes were huge, hurt evident in them as tears pooled in her eyes. Natsu slowly took a step forward, ready to apologize for blowing up, but it was too late.
Lucy's bangs covered her tear stained eyes as she smiled weakly at them, trying to hide her trembling.
"I-I understand." Lucy said with a strong-fake-voice, clutching her purse tightly to keep herself composed.
"No Lucy I didn't mean-"
"No Natsu, it's okay." Lucy said softly, her eyes still hidden as she stared at the ground. She let out a bitter laugh, striking their hearts. "I mean, let's face it, who was I kidding? You guys are the strongest team and I'm just a deadweight. I understand it's okay." Lucy said with an even tone, the smile on her face bringing them all dread. She took a step back, her bangs moving enough to let them see her eyes.
Her pained eyes.
"Lucy...please.." Natsu pleaded, taking another step forward as she took one back. Lucy finally turned to stare him dead in the eyes, her tears vanished as did the pained, heartbreaking look.
"It's okay Natsu, you don't have to pretend to be my friend anymore. It'd just be better if I was dead." Lucy whispered the end, turning around and running away from them. Natsu screamed for her to come back, trying to chase her only to be met with a hand to the cheek.
"What the hell?" Erza screamed at him, her own tears in her eye. Natsu stared in shock at the great woman before him, reduced to tears.
"How could you say something like that to her?!" Erza fumed before running off also, wiping her glasses clear of the fog. Gray just gave Natsu a very disappointed look before walking off himself, hands in his pockets.
Natsu, reduced to his knees, thought of what he had just done. He was the worst best friend ever-he couldn't even call himself that anymore.
"I'm sorry..."
Lucy continued to stare lifelessly at the picture in her hands, trying to find something that wasn't there. The pink head clad in a soccer uniform had his arm around her shoulder, his bright grin on his face along with a slight blush-if you looked close enough. Lucy slowly put it down before turning around, about to walk to her bed and retire for the night when she heard a loud crashing noise.
Lucy turned back to see the picture now on the ground on it's front. Panicked, Lucy went to pick it up only to be met with a searing pain. She instantly brought her thumb up to her mouth, sucking the blood and whimpering. She was such a fragile girl...so weak..
I'm so pathetic, why would I even think for a minute that he might... Lucy felt a warm liquid falling down her cheeks. She brought her hand up to quickly wipe the tears away, biting her lip.
She could do it. She could end it right here. Oh how she wanted to. She just wanted the pain to go away. She couldn't take it anymore...her heart...
Lucy Heartfilia had been contemplating suicide for a month now. She didn't know when or why the thought appeared to her, it just had. And in the past couple months, she thought it'd be the best way to get out of things.
But Lucy wasn't weak. Well, at least she hadn't thought that, until now. She truly was weak. But did she want to end her life?
She had been hesitant before, for the sake of her friends and peers. But...Natsu had made it clear that they didn't want a nuisance around. That was the last straw for Lucy's sanity. She couldn't take being alone, it was one of her biggest fears.
So without hesitation, she picked up one of the glass shards and brushed it against her skin, watching as it slowly tore her skin open, blood seeping through the cuts.
I'm sorry mama. Was all she could think before she hit the floor.
"Oh god no! God please! Please!" Natsu roared, carrying Lucy in his arms through downtown traffic. Tears were unwillingly flooding his cheeks as he screamed and cursed, begging for her to be okay.
"Please don't let my Lucy die!" Natsu yelled to an unknown force as he rammed through the people, hoping to get to the hospital soon. Onlookers gasped in horror once they saw Lucy's bloodied blouse, her wrist tucked into Natsu's chest carefully. Once he saw the big white building he automatically ran faster, his tears stinging as they hit the cold air.
"You're gonna be okay Lucy, you're gonna be okay.." Natsu whispered, more to himself. He was on the brink of insanity, seeing her collapsed on the floor with blood trickling out of her wrist was hell. He was breathing heavily as he shouted for help, doctors seeing the girl in his arm came to his side and put her on a gurney.
Lucy stared lifelessly at Natsu as she was wheeled away, making eye contact with him for one second.
"Natsu..."
Lucy's eyes flickered open, stretching her arms out with a cute yawn. She blinked a couple of times only to be startled by a pair of eyes right in her face, blinking twice before someone pulled her into a warm embrace.
Lucy gasped in surprise, realizing who it was when she felt the soft pink tufts of hair tickle her ear.
She remained silent, not knowing what to say at all.
"How could you do that?" He asked, his voice cracking. Lucy looked down in shame, staring at her bandaged wrists. She had actually done it? And wasn't dead?
"I can't take it anymore.." Her voice was filled with bubbling anxiety as her body stiffened. Natsu searched her eyes, trying to find the bubbly, loving blonde he always knew.
"How could you? After she did it, now you will?" Natsu demanded, tears in his eyes again. Lucy winced, suddenly realizing who he was talking about.
Ten years ago Natsu's own mother committed suicide, soon after his father left him. He was left all alone but still made it, he was so strong. Lucy felt worse, remembering how distraught he had been after his mother had taken her life. She didn't know why she wanted to, she had felt trapped.
"Natsu-"
"WHY? YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" Natsu yelled in her face before calming down, shrinking away and hiding beneath his bangs. Lucy sat, stunned. She bit her lip, a choked sob coming out of her. She cried into her hands, shaking slightly.
"God damn it Natsu! I can't take it anymore! I can't!" Lucy screamed, her chest tightening in panic. She thrashed around in bed before being suddenly halted, warm arms wrapped around her, stunning her.
"You don't have to Lucy." He whispered softly into her ear, rubbing her back comfortingly. Lucy felt something wet on her shoulder, shocked to see Natsu crying.
"Please don't ever that again Lucy...I can't lose you." Natsu pleaded quietly. Lucy sat stiffly.
"I'm such a burden, I don't want to-"
"Lucy! You aren't a burden at all, I was just angry at myself for not being able to protect you from that blow. I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Natsu's chest tightened as he darkened slightly. He suddenly felt warm arms wrap around him, a soft voice whispering lovingly to him.
"I'm sorry Natsu, I really am." Her voice. So vulnerable, so heartbreaking. And what could he do? Nothing. He felt his heart breaking, not being able to protect the one you loved was truly terrible.
He kissed her long, making sure to convert all the love he had been penting up convey into that one kiss. He needed her so bad. She couldn't leave him ever again, he barely made it through this time.
"I love you so much." He whispered to her, wiping her tears away.
This is the first time I've ever almost cried writing a fanfiction.
It might not be sad to you, but man was I trying to keep it together. Suicide is a touchy subject for me since I've known a person who committed it. But I'm not an expert on how they act or anything so if it's wrong, sorry.
I was strongly against making a suicide story but I just needed to get my pent up sadness out(from reading a tragic NaLu)
Ouran Host Club english dub for Hikaru is Todd! Who is also Natsu XDD I love that show and I just started watching itC:
I'm sorry if you didn't like this, but I wanted to write it.
Please review, thanks.