This is what happens when I'm exhausted after a long day but insist on writing a story. I'm so sorry if it isn't good :(
With a few firm pats, the final ball of snow settled in smoothly on top of the larger two lumps beneath it. Giggling gleefully like a small child, the man childishly poked a finger into the lump of snow before him, gingerly carving out a face – the goofy smiling face of a jolly snowman.
"Evan, look!" Jonathan yelled across the yard, pleased with his creation. "It's you!"
The man in the distance turned around slowly and expectantly, almost as though he already knew what he was about to see. As he turned to face Jonathan, a look of inexplicable annoyance was plastered so firmly upon his face, and his eyes were narrowed in an almost comical attempt to be menacing. Unable to contain himself, Jonathan let out a soft giggle, a little puff of warm misty smoke emerging from his lips.
"Shut up!" Evan yelled at him, his voice coarse and rough from the strain. "I'm not a snowman!"
Jonathan laughed again, this time louder than before. It was always amusing watching Evan react to being called a snowman. Almost every single time, it turned the tables on their relationship – Jonathan would be the one that was teasing Evan, and Jonathan would be the one that was making fun of Evan. In that, there was always that gleeful triumph that set itself off like fireworks in Jonathan's heart whenever Evan got annoyed – it was, after all, a side of him that Jonathan rarely got to see.
"I'm going to build an army of you!" Jonathan called out. "I'm going to make so many little Vanosses and they will become my personal Delirious army, and we're going to take over the world!"
For added effect, Jonathan pulled off his signature laugh – the crazed, maniacal laugh that seemed to bubble up in his throat and seep out as if it were second nature to him, the very same laugh that Evan had once commented on softly as "rather cute".
It was that little comment that had been uttered under his breath that was the final nail in the coffin for Jonathan. For ages he had felt as if he had been sinking deep into something in some place where he shouldn't even have been. For a long time he had been feeling quite odd, quite peculiar about his best friend for so long. They had been friends for so long, the object of each other's respectful admiration, but somehow, there was something not quite right about their friendship.
For a while, Jonathan thought it was the anonymity that he possessed. And when he decided to give it up secretly to meet his friends, he thought it would go away, that all his troubles would be resolved once they became friends even in reality – but he made a mistake. He acted normal and was normal, and he laughed the way he had always did. Everybody commented on how much funnier it was hearing and watching him laugh in person, but Evan simply murmured quietly in a corner, as if to himself, "That's rather cute."
Perhaps Evan had thought no one would hear, but Jonathan had heard the words escape Evan's lips. From thereon, his heart had been in continuous tumult, in a continuous descent towards insanity. Evan acted as though no such comment had been made, and Jonathan played along, carrying on with their close friendship as usual. Everything would be just fine, just perfect, right up until a small moment in time when Jonathan's heart would do backflips within his chest and beat a little faster – and these moments always seemed to occur whenever Evan got just a little too close.
After skipping a few beats, everything had to go back to normal, and Jonathan had to will his heart to start again. And this cycle would continue, over and over again, even when Evan asked Jonathan out to a resort in Canada for a winter holiday all alone, with just the two of them, as if the snowy world belonged to them. It was then that Jonathan's heart stopped and started again, and ever since then, his heart had been stopping and starting so frequently he thought he might've died.
Eventually, to soothe the constant faint feelings, Jonathan began to create a little bit of a distance between the two, walking away from Evan whenever they got too close. It was the same situation that day – Evan had been building a snow fort with Jonathan, and with a slight brush of their arms, Jonathan sped off to build his own snowman, his heart pounding furiously in his chest as it only began to restart.
Jonathan patted on a small snowball slightly as he pieced together the last of another snowman, this time smaller than the first. Giggling softly to himself, he scouted out a few twigs from his surroundings and stuck them into the snowmen – one at each side for the arms, and playfully, another one right down in the center of the base of each snowman.
"How old are you, huh?" Evan called out, rolling his eyes at the comical sight, his lip twitching slightly in a manner that was definitely not from the cold. "That's by far the most immature thing I've ever seen anyone your age do."
"It's art," Jonathan laughed. "If I was immature I would've stuck one up your butt too. Which just gave me the idea, by the way, thanks."
Just as he spun around enthusiastically to search for more twigs, he heard soft, muffled footsteps behind him, each one louder than the last. In a flash, he turned back around, just in time to see Evan charging at him, his hulking form launching towards his body as he was tackled to the snowy ground by his best friend. A few seconds later, he was lying on the snow with the snow in his hair and an incredible cold underneath him. Directly above his body, however, was an immense warmth, as Evan's weight settled in onto him. The moment he realized what had happened, and how close they both were, he felt his heart stop again. The pounding that had continually reminded him that he was alive seemed to vanish altogether as his mind went blank. His vision seemed to dull, and all there was before him was Evan's features - every inch and bit of his incredibly handsome face. Every little glimmer in those soft brown eyes seemed to etch himself into Jonathan's head.
"Uh," Jonathan breathed uncomfortably after some time, barely feeling alive. "Evan..."
A flush of red washed into Evan's face. "Uh – right, uh..."
Slowly, he pulled himself up and off Jonathan's body, brushing bits of snow off his body as he did. With an extended arm that Jonathan hesitantly latched onto, he helped Jonathan up back up onto his feet.
"Your hair's all wet now." Evan commented in a low voice. "We should probably get back in and get a hot bath."
"S-sure." Jonathan stammered, his heart only starting to beat again, racing as if it were running a marathon. Slowly, he followed Evan back into the warmth of the resort house.
Evan spun uncomfortably in his bed, unable to return to sleep. How could he, after all that had happened?
The laugh, that god damned cute laugh, with that god damned cute expression to go along with it. The cute little sounds that emerged from the depths of Jonathan's chest was like music to his ears, and he could've sworn the first time he saw the expression on that beautiful face that was attached to the laugh – that he could've melted right there and then. The way his eyes sparkled, the way the corners of his eyes creased and the way he began to narrow his eyes into amused, comical little curved slits, the way his shoulders shook... It was all too much for him. Through the foggy mist that grew in his head, he thought to himself – That's rather cute.
He must've said it out loud then, without knowing it, because he caught a slightly curious, yet embarrassed look from Jonathan's eyes. The way his cheeks flushed slightly at the possibility of a compliment could have driven Evan over the edge that day. All he wanted then was to get closer to Jonathan, to be able to touch him, to be able to...
Evan shook himself slightly, more awake than ever. He felt guilty enough for thinking about his own friend that way, and he felt guiltier than ever for spending some time in the hot shower firming up at the thought of Jonathan.
Annoyed, he spun on the spot, his eyes fluttering open to take in the darkness. Jonathan's bed was hauntingly empty, yet messy, as if it had been slept in and then hastily vacated. Frowning, he sat up, wondering where Jonathan had went.
His search for Jonathan led him towards the living area of the house, where a blanketed lump resided in the corner of a couch.
"What're you doing?" Evan called out into the dark. "We're skiing tomorrow, go back to bed."
"I can't sleep. It's too cold and I can't sleep." Jonathan whined. "I didn't grow up in Canada, you know. Winter for me isn't... all snow and subzero temperatures."
The opportunity was right there in all its blazing glory.
"You know, I could help you with that." Evan began, ignoring the guilt that was beginning to creep up onto him. "Top-notch human heater right here."
"Ha-ha. Right," Jonathan groaned grumpily, and then shivered slightly.
"C'mon, you look like you need it. Come back to bed and I'll warm you up good."
Jonathan sighed softly, before getting up and following reluctantly after Evan. "You sound like a dodgy salesperson."
Evan chuckled as he closed the bedroom door behind the both of them, watching as Jonathan curled up into a shivering little ball on his bed. The guilt was driving him half-mad, but he could care less in that moment. He needed to try, to test the waters and know if what he had been feeling for so long was real.
After dragging his own blanket from his bed, he slowly lowered himself onto Jonathan's bed behind him, and threw the blanket over the both of them. In a swift motion, he took Jonathan's shaking form into his arms, feeling every inch of the man's cold skin from underneath his blanket.
"Geez, you're freezing all over." He commented, holding Jonathan a little tighter towards his chest.
"It's cold. And this is weird." Jonathan said simply, his tone odd and strained. "So weird. Totally not... nice at all."
"It isn't." Evan replied, trying his best to keep his voice steady as his mind went wild. "If you're cold, you get something to warm you up, simple as that. Even if it's a human."
"You don't understand." Jonathan dismissed, letting out an exhausted sigh.
Evan sighed. "Whatever. Just sleep."
They were silent for a while, Evan listening to Jonathan's breathing as it slowed slightly. He tried his hardest to not think about how close he was to Jonathan, or how wonderful Jonathan smelled, or how soft Jonathan felt against him. Most of all, he tried his hardest not to think about what he had thought about in the shower – but the more he tried, the more the thoughts forced their way into his head, and the more he felt his pants tighten. Uncomfortably, and unwilling to wake the sleeping man by his side, he shifted slightly, away from him.
"I don't know what you're thinking about..." Jonathan slurred. "Snowman..."
He sleep-talked. He fucking sleep-talked.
"Snowman..." Jonathan murmured again lazily, barely enunciating. "I love..."
Evan felt his body tense up at Jonathan's words. He quickly brushed whatever excitement that had gathered in his chest away – He's thinking about the snow. He loves the snow.
"You..." Jonathan drawled sleepily. "I love you... Snowman..."
Evan froze. Even whilst he spoke in his sleep, he could hear the fierce, blushing red in his voice. And all the while, it was as though those words spoke how he felt towards his best friend in that moment. It had suddenly become so painfully obvious what their relationship had become.
"I love you too, crazy boy," he whispered after a long moment as he waited for the guilt to slowly dissipate. Gently, he kissed Jonathan's hair.
"Sleep well."
"Evan. Wake up. I need to talk to you." He heard Jonathan whisper.
Reluctantly, he forced his eyes open to see Jonathan sitting upright by his side, the sunlight giving his skin a delicious glow.
"What is it?" He croaked, his mind still foggy and ridden with sleep.
"I... I said something last night. And you said something. I don't know what got into me, but I was tired and... having you hold me was nice, and it just – slipped out – "
"Yeah, I love you too." Evan interrupted. "Is that bad? I mean – if you don't feel the same way..."
"No, I do, why would it have slipped out if I didn't?" Jonathan blurted out, wide-eyed. "It's just... I keep feeling like I'm falling, falling into something. I just didn't think I was falling in love. With my best friend, no less. Maybe I thought it but I didn't want to admit it to myself, but..."
Evan shushed him, gently placing a finger to his lips. "You admitted your feelings, and I feel the same way about you. It doesn't matter now, does it? I love you. I've... I've grown to love you more and more."
He gently brushed away a few strands of hair that had fallen across Jonathan's face. "Do you know what I see when I look at your face? God... I see my friend, my best friend. Then I see a fucking cute guy that I want to kiss, that I want to touch all night long in bed."
He paused, watching as a strong shade of pink tinged Jonathan's cheeks. Slowly, he sat up, closing the gap between them.
"So... if it's fine with you..."
He barely finished his sentence as Jonathan's lips caught his. He felt as if he were filled to the brim with a certain sort of heat, and he felt as if he were about to explode. He could almost feel the fireworks going off in his body in recognition of the joy it was perceiving.
Jonathan's lips were soft, like little cushions of warm flesh pressed against his own lips. The taste of him was interesting and beautiful – a mild sort of sweetness mixed in with a warmth. The way Jonathan was kissing him – tenderly and gently – made it all so perfect, and it made the moment wonderful in its own right. He could die with just the kiss alone.
As the slowly came apart, Evan curved the corners of his lips into a stupid, shit-eating grin.
"You liked it when I cuddled you last night, huh?" He teased. "And you were complaining about how weird it was, too. How do you really feel about it?"
He watched as Jonathan turned a brighter shade of crimson. "It was... nice."
"Nice?" Evan teased further, his morning wood making a return as the thoughts whirled about in his head. "Just nice?"
His hands began to wander downwards, easing the drawstring on Jonathan's pants and making his way in. "Only just nice?"
Jonathan whimpered slightly. "Y-Yeah..."
Evan grinned devilishly, and pulled Jonathan close towards his chest. He gently squeezed the thickening shaft and murmured into his newfound lover's ear – "Really?"
"Oh god – n- I loved it – ohh..."
The moment the first of Jonathan's moans echoed throughout the room, Evan knew that the plans for the ski trip was gone. What he also knew, was that it was going to be a very long day in bed with Jonathan.