The world is black, blacker than the bars on his chest. And his eyes are dark, he sees things through two veils, there are no lights, no flames. Alone with the others in the dark.

The clank of porcelain on wood resonated through the sparsely populated dining hall. Locks of hair spread aimlessly across the table as Kanda leaned on it for support.

"Heh," across the terse looking exorcist, two elbows joined the pair already there with two more booming thuds. "Not so dark now that you're drunk, ne? Got some color in those cheeks?" Lavi continued to grin his lopsided grin as he lifted his sixth "last sip" to his lips, setting the sake bottle in between he and Kanda. Kanda wasn't listening to Lavi really at all for he made no barbed response, but rather rose slowly, the slightest of frowns indicating his focus on his surroundings. Kanda walked as perpendicular to the ground as he could to the small opening for service at the dining counter where he placed his dish and an empty bottle, blearily noting Jerry dozing in the back. He glanced back to Lavi, head tipped back and boots on the table, and made a soft noise of disgust, wondering how he'd landed with this drinking companion.

"Heh, Yu? What're you in for? Not injured are you?"

"As if I'd trouble people here with injuries."

"Right… but what then?" Kanda pulled back the cloth of a bundle, raising a knee slightly to elevate the object in his lap.

"Innocence repairs."

"Ahh, I hate it when that happens," Lavi clucked empathetically. "Then back to work I suppose," A nod as brief and unnoticeable as possible. The silence customary to immense facilities, riddled with soft footsteps and discussions, washed over the two. "You're not going to ask about me, huh?"

"Asking would imply I was curious,"

"Heh heh heh! Ever the cold one, eh?" Kanda spared his companion a glance and was startled by the usually gung-ho Lavi's expression of pain. "Of course, I guess it's better to be all drive, no nonsense, match the cold with cold," The gentle background noises reclaimed their presence, Kanda still turned just barely enough to face the bookman to be. "Sometimes… I think if I could… I wouldn't-" Lavi stopped mid-sentence as a medical personnel approached.

"We'll take you now, exorcist-samma."

"E-hee!" Lavi grinned widely at his perplexed companion. "He called me samma!" Kanda scowled and rolled his eyes, annoyed that Lavi's brief moment of potential seriousness had abruptly ended and disgusted at himself for believing anything of merit could be begotten from Lavi's much addled mind. "Heeey, Yu!" Kanda cast a deadly look at the offensively tongued exorcist. "I'm going for a drink tonight in the cafeteria. See you there," Lavi turned to continue following the medic and before Kanda responded to the remark (demand, the nerve, not a question or an invitation, but a demand) he noticed the familiar red of blood soaking Lavi's entire left side, the side not exposed from their previous positions. He let his mouth shut and turned to what he knew he'd see oozing on and beneath the seat Lavi had occupied. The most he would do was share one drink with the guy, the very most.

'I wouldn't'...'I wouldn't' what? Kanda took a stabilizing breath before staggering back to the heavily besotted Lavi who was humming strangely.

"Ah! This was exactly what I needed, Yu. " Kanda, though admittedly more than tipsy, was not encouraged to loosen his tongue under the influence of drink. "Escape, though with consequences tomorrow, escape."

"It's a bit more escape than I planned to indulge in."

"Heh, but you needed it, probably more than I did," Kanda's brain struggled to keep pace with Lavi's thoroughly loosened tongue. "I mean, you worked twice as much before Noah and now that we're all working under red alert, it's harder for a busybody like you to one up it."

"Che."

"Yeah…what you said." Lavi shut his eyes and his smile evened out. Kanda resumed his slumped stance atop the table. Lavi let his propped boots slide off and all four chair legs touch ground. Kanda opened drooping eyes to assess the considering gaze directed at him across the table. He raised an arched brow. "Kanda?" He raised both brows. "I'm going to bed. Come with me."

"Nani?!" These words penetrated the sake's fog so intensely he could only express himself in his native tongue.

"Sleep with me tonight."

"What- How- When- But- What makes you think I'd even consider that I'd- When did you decide I was gay- No. Hell. No, Lavi, you're insane," Kanda was half standing now all drowsiness nearly completely vanished. Lavi rose too, grinning now that a chase was a foot.

"Your room's six floors up, mine's right down the hall. Come on Kanda, I know you're tired,"

"You think I'd sleep with you for the sake of convenience? As if I'd be so base, as if I'd sleep with anyone, ever, least of all-"

"Yu, come on."

"Are you so horny that you're begging me to-"

"I never said anything other than sleep."

"Oh, and knowing you to be the wholesome gentleman you are-"

"Don't tell me you don't want it too." Kanda shut his mouth, glaring hard. "Who doesn't, Yu? Just to lay with someone and not care in the morning when we've been alone for months off trying to save the world. It's hell, it's hell out there with all the death and guessing and loss."

"I'm not weak."

"It's not about that-"

"I don't want to blame anything on drinks," Lavi regarded Kanda in silence. "I'm not weak," Kanda met the one-eyed gaze. The ghost of a smile. "We'll sleep in my room."

Kanda placed his brush in his suitcase and shrugged his shoulder to keep his sleeping robe from sliding off. The door clicked as Lavi returned from the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas.

"Nice dress," Kanda stood serenely.

"Is that any way for a guest to treat his host?" Lavi grinned and added,

"And your heels. Stellar."

"They're sandals, baka," Kanda stepped lightly on Lavi's foot before slipping the shoes off. "So… how do we start this?" Lavi eyed the moody exorcist up and down, raising a hand and passing it between them.

"Ah, I thought as much. You're uke, Yu,"

"If you call me that in bed you'll get a nasty surprise, Lavi."

"Which, uke?"

"What do you think?" Lavi grinned,

"Ah, I dunno, Yu." The redhead closed his one visible eye and rested his arms behind his head in a familiar gesture, "I'd persist if you weren't doing this out of sympathy."

"Did you brush your teeth well?"

"Huh? Yeah-"

"Good. I can't stand alcoholic breath." Kanda sat gingerly on the end of his bed. "Now, are you done talking?" Lavi put a hand on either side of him, giving an amused fake look of shock.

"If I didn't know better, I'd accuse you of being horny." Lavi leaned in and let his hands slide down slowly towards Kanda.

"Che."

"Ah, but you're not, what was it, base enough to want anything like this..." Kanda's voice was a whisper as Lavi's had been,

"Che…"

"Well I'll go ahead and tell you now, Yu," Kanda looked up into Lavi's eye as hands cinched on his waist. "I'm as base as they get."

Kanda shivered slightly as he gazed across his small room at the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. A warm hand slid down his exposed left side and he maneuvered himself closer to Lavi's body behind him.

"Are you a virgin, Yu?"

"Was I a virgin?"

"Heh, yeah, I keep forgetting." Kanda jabbed an elbow in his stomach half-heartedly, causing Lavi to momentarily halt his finger combing of Kanda's long raven hair.

"Yes, I was, could you tell?"

"Hey, wait a minute, so you are gay!"

"Baka," another jab. "Could you see me as anything but?"

"Eh… I guess not. Especially since certain events just transpi… hey, Yu?" Kanda had turned over and was holding Lavi tight, face buried in his chest.

"It's very warm, " came muffled words. "I never knew how cold it was in my room until I was warm." Lavi felt Kanda's lips moving to form the words against his bare chest, warm air as Kanda released a short sigh. He lifted his head back so that his nose replaced his forehead and Lavi could see the silhouettes of infamously angry dark eyes with his vision adjusted to the absence of light. "What wouldn't you?"

"What?" Kanda blinked, he'd been thinking about it all night.

Sometimes… "'If I could'…"

"Ah, I wouldn't…" Lavi looked out into the black corners of the room as he finished his own statement. "I'd quit," he said flatly. "I'd quit going back, I'd stay here or, you know, die or something, anything. I wouldn't keep fighting. But I can't do that, of course, and if I'd opt to die anyway why not die fighting?" Kanda felt his face move back, yielding to the rise in Lavi's chest as he breathed exasperatedly. "It's just dark out there. Punches get you from the shadows and all you can do is hold your head and run after invisible attackers into the void." This time a near hysterical gasp of laughter pressed against Kanda's nose. "It sucks." Lavi smiled down at Kanda with the same pain as before. "I'm starting to sound like you, Yu." And instead of delivering physical retribution for this offensive comment Kanda did something few people were ever witness to in their lifetimes. He smiled. It was the saddest thing Lavi had ever seen. Thin lips in a perfect, beautiful arch, eyebrows delicately curved above the bridge of his nose framing eyes that gleamed for once without the luster of blood lust, without any lust at all.

"No, you sound like a bookman." And somehow the smile stayed as it was hidden by the lowering of his head back against Lavi's chest. "Don't forget this in the morning," Lavi felt the small miracle smile fade. "Remember me, please, so I know someone will." Lavi blinked as something shimmered in the night. "I won't be here long." A different kind of dark crept through the room, pressing hard on Lavi's chest and constraining his throat.

"Yeah…I will." Lavi enveloped the arms that reached in the dark to hold his body, invisible to closed eyes. The arms felt fragile like petals that rip off of sepals too easily or leaves that stupid children rip of off invisible stalks because they're bored and one life doesn't matter. "If I can remember you as who you are." Kanda lifted a perplexed face.

"Hm?"

"Yu."

He made a weapon out of himself, nearly indestructible to combat the dark and this is how he came to value life more than anything because his life was dying from the rips, bloody in his own arms as he held his head and ran. His fingers were bloody too from tearing at the life he had left. For in a world so black, you cannot hide in the light patches if you will fight.

You must embrace the dark.

But he was scorched before his head dropped and his feet ceased to fly. There are different shades of black, the strongest of which is not pure but stands between the borders. His eyes are dark but he smiles when the flames caress his face with light, warmth and light. He lives in a dark world but he'll sleep in a bed of coals. And the bars on his chest will be melted by then.

In case this needs clarifying: The lines separate omniscient narration from the story, italics mean thoughts or flashbacks, and the dots signify a brief break in time. Also, the first and last narration sections are about Kanda.

Thanks oodles for reading and I hope you enjoyed!