I've published this story almost a year ago, but I had to change it a bit so it could flow more naturally into next chapter.

The rest of the story is actually my own version of season 8, so some events (as well as characters that actually appear in series) are twisted, so that could go along with my own plot. Also, some things as "M&M's" silly conversation never happened in my fic, so Deb and Dexter never had proper conversation about her feelings. But that doesn't mean it will be forgotten, I promise.:-)

Oh and there is a time jump between these events and next chapter.

And...I don't own any of these wonderful characters .

"ALL ON THE TABLE"

CHAPTER ONE

"She is getting thinner", I think to myself. She is getting weaker, maybe I should keep this conversation for some other time.

I can see her eyes sparkling in the night as the TV lights splash across the walls. She is not even watching, she is lost somewhere in her thoughts. I'm standing in the doorway of her house and waiting for her to realize I'm here. There is a lump in my throat, and it's getting difficult to breathe as I finally make my decision.

Confront her? Ask her for the truth? Expose her own demons, and maybe, just maybe force her to understand mine. We're not perfect; I know I'm far from a model of fucking perfection, but Deb has her flaws, too.

Only, I'm truthfully shocked over her secret.

I move to the counter and slowly place her file on in. Deb's eyes slowly travel to mine and she wordlessly stands up and approaches to see what I put on the counter. As she comes closer, her eyes widen in disbelief. This scene is so similar to the one we had few weeks ago in my apartment, when she so disrespectfully scattered all my deepest secrets on the table. Only this time, the roles have changed. I'm the judge, and she is the suspect. No, she is guilty. Guilty as hell of hypocrisy.

Just last night, she once again gave me one of those speeches about being sick of the lies I was feeding her throughout her entire life. She was angry because she found out that the same woman that killed Sal Price is the same woman I'm sleeping with.

She really has a way with words, I must say, because my sister made me, a supposedly unemotional monster, feel this bad. It must be in the family that we are both very capable when it comes to cutting people down. She does it with words. Me, I'm much simpler. I do it with a knife.

But it certainly feels like she's piercing a blade of steel through my chest.

Anyway, it's Debra. My foul mouthed, beautifully ruined sister that loves me more than anything. She is the only person in this world that can do that, and have me forgive her in a heartbeat. That is how I always felt about her.

That is, until last night. It scared me how different it felt. I don't know if Hannah's presence in my life is the reason. She doesn't flinch in front of my darkness, she embraces is, she understands it. So I'm frustrated that my own sister, the person I care about most in the world, refuses to see that I can't be changed, and that my Dark Passenger can't be tamed. Since that moment in the church, I've been bowing my head in shame in front of her, but I think she was really over the top in our last conversation. And I think I'm done backing off. She has to accept me.

I need that.

"You have been a Moser much more than a Morgan…" She said, "You have betrayed me so many times, just like Brian did. Only he fucked with me for few months, and you've fucked up my entire life. I'm an accomplice now, and I'm too deep in this shit. I am responsible for every murder you commit equally as you are from the moment we burned down that church. Why, thank you Dex-"

I cut her off bitterly. "If I was much more of a Moser, you would've been dead a long time ago… And your Morgan family name lost a lot of shine when YOUR father decided to make his own vengeful killer, his fucked up evil Batman, to take care of the shit he wasn't capable of! This is your father's doing, Debra! THIS is how he raised me!"

This gets under her skin as she comes closer and hisses. "How the fuck dare you…?"

Oh now I violated first rule of Debra's Code, "don't get caught saying bad things about Harry."

But I don't care right now. I really don't care. I just want part of the blame on his shoulders, too.

My sister needs to understand that I am not the only one guilty of this mess.

"If my father made those mistakes, what did I do…? How did I deserve to be so utterly fucked by you every single time…?" Deb bends over the chair, her slender arms grasping the wood like she has to pass her frustration on something "Why can't you be honest with the one fucking person that never lied you, that never let you down? Yes, you are a Moser, because you know what…? Those things that your brother did, and these things you have done to your victims are nothing compared to pain the two of you caused to me. And there is not one single thing you can do with your fucking knife that could be more horrible than what you have already done to me with your lies. You cannot possibly cut deeper."

I can always cut deeper. That's my secret specialty.

I come closer to her and raise my hand to make her stop talking. I can't hear her anymore. No more than I could hear my brother, just before I slit his throat with the fine silverware he kept in his house for special occasions. It's the truth, every word she said, and I'm disturbed that I can't do anything about it.

But it's just the way I am, Deb. But instead of submissive, I choose the aggressive option.

I look her dead in the eyes, not caring if I'm terrifying her. It's finally me, the real Dexter Morgan standing in front of her. Wasn't her greatest desire to see the genuine me? Man behind the mask?

She should be scared, but she isn't. After all, I've killed dozens of people and it is pure insanity pushing me further when I'm in this kind of condition. But she frowns at me and rolls her eyes, not caring.

"Deb", I place my hands over her wrists, holding tightly and she violently wrenches from my grip and turns around. Only then I realize that there will be bruises on her arms as she absently rubs skin where I held her.

"Get out, Dexter. Go sleep at your apartment or wherever the hell you want, or do whatever the fuck you want. Congratulations, you have finally succeeded to ruin every bit of trust I had in you. I can't believe you're fucking Hannah fucking McKay…Of all the women on the planet.", the way she says that is making me even more angry, and in one brief moment I wish to grab her again and shake her, but stop myself with the last atoms of my self-control. I leave her house without another word.

When I came to work this morning, I fully expected to see her coming into my lab with cuffs, but she just avoided me. Anyway, my paranoia was doing it's best on me, as Dr Michelle Ross walked by me and gave me a strange look. Ten minutes later I was in her office while she was on her lunch break. Fifteen minutes later I had Debra's personal file from her sessions with Dr Ross safely stashed in my bag. But those fifteen minutes are blur, since I'm barely holding together.

Deb... is in love. With me.

So here we are, in the moment of truth. My Dark Passenger fully exposed, and her own secret is about to put that final nail in our broken relationship. Since she didn't hold anything back last night, I will return the favor.

She is getting thinner and weaker. That should concern me, that should soften me so I would make this easier on her, but it doesn't.

This is my little sister, my annoying, loud girl that always found a way to be in exactly the wrong place at the wrong time. This is the same person that screamed in Doakes' face when he rightfully accused me of being involved with Rudy Cooper. The same one that dedicated her life to making me understand how decent and good I am.

I can't bear that look in her eyes. I just can't take it. I want to share this pain someone. She shouldn't be the one inflicting it on me. She was the one that I always run to when things went wrong, and now I don't have anything to hold on to.

And she took my anchor away. So I'm lost.

And when I'm lost, I tend to react…let's say…emotionally.

Just like with that guy who managed to cross paths with me after Rita's death and piss me off properly enough so I decide to forget everything about the Code, and go straight to the killing part.

The truth is I want her to feel what I feel. To feel this pressure of being criticized and dissected. And the other truth is I'm confused as hell.

What should I do now?

One deep breath and… the choice is made.

I set myself in my most merciless mode and wait for her to make the first move. Except she is frozen across the counter as her gaze rests on bunch of papers between us.

"Do you know what this is?", I ask her, my eyes piercing her.

Just tell me this is a mistake, Deb…It must be some sick joke of Dr Ross.

Instead of hurrying to reassure me, Deb snorts helplessly. "Yes.", she answers, her voice scared and insecure.

I am done with being the one that gets judged. This is sort of revenge, but it also burns deep inside me with feeling of confusion and nausea, reminding me that I am some sort of human after all. But it's a bittersweet victory. Deb wasn't supposed to be an enemy.

Our conversation last night left a deep hole in me, so I want to get even. I want to cause her some kind of pain, and this is the closest my Dark Passenger will ever get to her. (It was clear to me long time ago that Deb was indeed the safest person in the world as long as I'm around to protect her. I have killed for her before, and I would do it again, if necessary.)

"Would you care to explain what is written in your file, Deb?", I tilt my head. She keeps staring at the file, so I reach with my hand to open it when she stops my hand with her own. "Fuck, Dex! Don't! Just leave it."

I look at her darkly and she knows that it's all on the table, and that I won't let her get away from this. "It says something interesting, since you don't want me to open it. Could it be some important thing you didn't confess to me? I guess that makes you a liar, Debra, doesn't it?"

She squeezes her eyes, and shakes her had again."It wasn't like that, it wasn' t, …stop. "I want to hear those words from her mouth, so I push the subject further, ignoring her pleading eyes.

"What was it like, then?", I cut out every word sharply, and then after few moments in silence I suddenly raise my voice "What is in the file, Debra?"

Deb sits down and hides her face behind her thin long fingers. "I think I'm in love with you."

And just like that, it's out. Her own secret, her Dark Passenger. Her love for me. Only when her words rip the air between us, do I fully understand the possible consequences of this kind of confrontation. It changes everything.

And now, a second too late, I understand that I don't want it to be changed.

Too late.

Too fucking late I realize I should've left her blood slides untouched.

I'm in love with you.

I've read that already. I know that. But her words are still like three tons of rocks suddenly falling on my head. And I desperately want to hear her say she was just confused at the time.

Instead of feeling triumph for finally getting the upper hand after such a long time, the nausea returns and it hits me harder this time. How can she be in love with me?

I was supposed to be her brother, Harry taught her that I am her brother. He taught me that.

I observe her face, the most familiar thing in the world. I think if I lost my seeing right now, I could perfectly remember every single scar, every single imperfection on her, for the rest of my life. If there is something I'm certain I'm acquainted with, it's her. And then I find out that she's hiding this from me.

I sit down as well, keeping my voice low. I mentally kick myself for not knowing how dangerous this territory is. "That's ridiculous. We were raised like brother and sister." I speak softly. "You were not supposed to feel those kind of things. Someone would probably call it sick." Again, that's the wrong thing to say. What the hell is wrong with me today? I try to turn the conversation in different direction. Maybe there is something I can gain from this. Maybe I should point out why I'm so frustrated. "You were supposed to tell me that earlier, before all of those fights we had about me lying to you, Deb. Because this makes us both liars and it makes all of your efforts to help me useless, since you're the one that's being dishonest for quite some time now."

The look I receive in return is both frightening and saddening. I shouldn't be making her feel this way, no matter how much she offended me.

But how to correct this now?

"I know…I tried to… tell you…I tried to fucking fight it.", she desperately tries to collect herself and explain everything to me, and fails miserably in those attempts. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for not telling you. You should have known, you had every right to. But when I came into church to talk about this you were busy with…all that Travis shit and…Later, there was no time…no opportunity to compose my thoughts…I … when I saw you with fucking Hannah it…She triggered it again and…I'm sorry, Dex. I can't say anything else."

She calms her breath and then she adds "But it's not the same, anyway... I'm not even sure I like you anymore... And I.. I know I've been pain in the ass, but I'm only trying to help you because I love you."

I know she's right and she's telling the truth but I'm so fucking tired of being judged. That's why I like being around Hannah. No hard looks, no judgment, only freedom and the chance to be what I am. It's not that way with Debra, she keeps trying to control me, to lock me up. But the lock simply won't hold. Please, Deb, just understand it.

Understand it before I hurt you even more. And we've established that I'm innovative when it comes to hurting you.

"I need to clear my head.", she says, keeping herself from looking my way. "I need to leave. I can't fucking look at you."

The sudden memory of my father's eyes the last time I saw him alive, and that helpless look on her face make a disturbing connection, and I shiver. I shouldn't let her be alone. "Deb. Leave those keys, and get back here. Now."

She flinches at my order and takes a step back. This is the first time in awhile that I've see her terrified of me, and it gives me a feeling of power. The problem is I don't know where I'm going with all of this. What solution can I think of? This is more than shock to me, and it's certainly far worse for her.

"You can't leave things like this." I point at the case file, not really knowing what I want to say by this.

Then something strange happens, I can almost feel her breaking a bit as she takes a sharp breath and gets out of her house as fast as she can. I wait for a second, thinking what I should do, and then quickly come after her. I try stopping her, but she slaps away my hand and says something muffled like "Fuck you", but I just ignore her and pull her into a hug until she stops thrashing.

When I look up, her eyes are wet, but she calmly asks me to let her go. I do as she asked me, and Deb gets in her car and drives off.