Author Note- Just One of a series of a series of One shots that I'm going to be writing over the next few weeks. Nothing to serious, just a wee bit of fun to take away from the dreariness of exams...Blaine's POV.
Editor Note: MASSIVE APOLOGY TO MOONBANANA CAT! This has been sitting in my inbox for I don't know how long _ Most of it is true...
-STUDY LEAVE-
Italics- Kurt on the Phone
Bold- Blaine on the Phone
Written to – Scissor Sisters- Running Out.
I love study leave. Well most of the time. I love the 'leave' part, the 'study' , well not so much. So you see that fact that I've managed to sit here at this table for the length of time that I have is a MASSIVE achievement. But there's really only so long a guy can go staring at poetry before he loses the will to live (English exam tomorrow, just FYI- and YES, I know I'm leaving it a little late...).
So I deem it time for a music change, you just can't beat synth-y pop goodness for studying to, you're probably supposed to listen to classical music but hey- where would the fun be in that? Or more probably I'm supposed to be listening to the copies of the poems that I downloaded for my Ipod. The reasoning at the time being, that if I could learn a song in an hour then what difference could there be with listening to poetry? Doesn't work. Want to know the difference? Music is good, Poems suck. Well that's not entirely true, learning poetry by heart for an exam, that sucks. Generally I quite like English Lit. but I don't see how showing that I can rhyme off 17 metaphysical poems from the top of my head can prove that I understand them. Ah yes, next Scissor Sisters album I think.
Another good thing about study leave- sweat pants. Well sweat pants, baggy hoodies and NO HAIR GEL! If no one can see you then they don't care that you look like you descended from sheep. And seeing as Kurt has decided that we should keep contact to a minimum while we study (apparently this will aid 'our' meaning my concentration...) then I can get away with my regular study apparel and enjoy whatever study snacks I so desire (this year we're doing cheese toasties with coleslaw and melon- don't ask me to explain I don't quite understand why these seem to delectable myself), life is good.
BZZZZZZZZZZZ. .
He knows.
He knows I'm not learning 'Good Friday 1613, riding Westward' and that I'm wearing sweatpants and he knows I was so about to eat that whole Honey Dew melon in the fruit bowl by myself. Act cool and he may never find out. That's right Dapper him senseless and no one will ever need to know what almost passed here.
BZZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Should probably answer then. Retrieving my Blackberry from under the piles of artistically arranged papers I hit receive while padding through to the kitchen, well no one said I had to forget the melon thing. It's fruit. Fruit is good for the brain. Or is that fish?
Hey, Ba...
I've lost it.
You've done what know? To say that Kurt sounded hysterical would be a gross understatment.
Well technically I've lost 'them' I'm two poems down! I only have 15 poems Blaine! Do you know what this means?
This was one of those trick questions I decided while pulling a knife out from the drawer to prepare the melon, phone cradled to ear using shoulder. He either didn't want an answer, or I wasn't supposed to know the answer, or I WAS supposed to know but didn't and would have to wing it, or-
It means I'm going to fail!
Or he'll just give me the answer, that's cool with me too.
Love, you are NOT going to fail. You're going to do great.
No I'm not, Blaine. You're not taking this seriously!
Kurt, I promise to you, I am taking you perfectly seriously.
I replied while de-seeding the melon into the bin and returning to the counter to start slicing.
I know. I'm sorry, just stressed with this you know?
Yeah, I get what you're saying, but you don't even need this grade do you?
By this point I had managed to cut the melon up into little bite-sized segments and stripped them from the skin stuff. Just need to locate a fork and we'll be in business.
No, but I'd still like to get a good grade. And we both know my luck! The Question will be on the two that I don't learn!
Nah, they won't-
I swallowed the chunk of melon I had in my mouth hastily, I had expected him to talk for a bit longer than that and had snuck a second segment-
It'll be on that imagery stuff that I don't get that one that begins with 'S' that's not symbolism, with all the compasses and maps and inter-planetary imagery and stuff. That's what it's going to be about, so don't worry!
But I don't get...wait, that didn't begin with an 'S', was that not 'Conceits' ? 'S' was sophistry, and you got that...
No I was definitely meaning the conceits.
WELL I DON'T KNOW THAT EITHER!
Cue holding phone at arms length. I love the boy, I really do, but sometimes there's a downside to that set of lungs he has on him. Time to change subject me thinks...
Tell me what poems you have and we'll see what you're missing. I made a list of them before I started so that I knew I had everything.
I won't bore you all with the next part of the conversation because you really don't need to hear all about 15 of John Donne's poems, well unless you should be studying them at the moment and you're currently skiving off that is. Anyway-
Well you've told me 16 poems for a start, so you're only missing one, ' Hymn to God, My God in my Sickness'.
How do you know? I don't even remember doing that one!
Kurt, seriously, Babe, breathe. Go have one of your chocolate yoghurt things and then phone me back and I'll read the poem out to you.
It's too late for that. I ate the big Galaxy chocolate...
The big Galaxy chocolate as in the big Galaxy chocolate that you picked up for Brittany?
Yes...
Where the hell did you put all that!
Well it's probably all gone to my hips so we can safely say that's marked the end of any physical relationship we had! He sniped.
In my defence, your honour, I was in a state of shock and did not intend to insinuate by any shape matter or form that my boyfriend was fat, but that bar of chocolate was longer than MY FOREARM!
You'll be fine, Love, a little chocolate now and again never hurt anyone, and your a growing teenage boy.
Yeah, unlike you.
Ouch. Low blow.
Now you know that Carole said about you making short jokes! Everytime someone makes a short joke GaGa cries.
By this point I'm also like halfway through this melon and starting to prepare the second half, I'll just do 3 slices and pop them in a bowl. If anyone comes into the kitchen and catches me munching through a pile of melon straight off the board they're going to think I'm so fat...
Yeah, 'cause GaGa is so worried about the size of your ego in comparison to your hobbit-like stature.
Hey, I didn't choose it, but you did. All this cheek will come back to bite you Hummel!
I warned settling down into one of the comfy chairs in the living room near the table where I had been 'studying'. There was the sound of furious rustling on the other end of the phone. I frowned.
I don't think there's any chocolate left in the wrapper, hon.
I pulled a face too, but he couldn't see it so I'm safe.
I hope you don't think you're being funny. I'm absolutely surrounded by papers and I don't even think they're all for English Lit. See! This one's for Philosophy! Why is THAT in my English Lit pile!
The offer still stands for me to read it out to you, it's right on the table beside me in my handy-dandy ring binder.
I'll just find it on the internet if I can't find it here.
It's okay, I'll pretend like his reasoning makes sense. I mean, why would you want someone to just tell you the poem so you can write it down, when you can have all this fun stressing yourself out about it.
It's really weird, 'cause I have a copy of the notes and the questions we did on it, but not the print out of the poem itself.
No. It couldn't be. The teacher had photocopied some sheets back to back to save on the budget. That would just be TOO EASY. Ah, well I doubt it but you know.
Have you tried on the back of the questions?
Of course I've checked on the the back of the... Oh...
There was silence that forced me to grin so wide my jaw kinda hurt.
Oh my God, Kurt! Is it actually on the other side of the questions!
...yeah...
I did what any boyfriend in my position would feel required to do. Laugh so hard that I almost give myself stomach cramps.
Oh ha! God! HA H-HA!
Blaine. I hope you understand that I hate you know.
I- HAAAAAAAA! Hehehehe-HA!
His serious tone made it even funnier.
I mean it. I hate you Blaine Anderson.
I- owww- HA! Hahaha... I .. Love you too, Kurt! HAHAHA!
He hung up. I don't blame him to be honest. I'm not exactly proud, I think it is highly possible that I was laughing so hard I snorted.