There was absolutely no explanation for what I was feeling right now. Alex was leaving and there was nothing I could do about it. We fought about five times today and he couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to scream out "Alex, don't go," but he'd already packed his suitcase and threaten to leave me. I had a heart that wouldn't beat anymore. The words he spoke were harsh; the way he said them was even worse. I tried to calm him down, to get him to unclench his fists so that I could speak to him, but he wanted no part of me or anything I had to say. He couldn't even look at me without scolding me for something I had done wrong. Today we fought over stupid things. He told me I was never around to care for him. That was a lie. We stuck together through the thick and thin, but he just didn't believe me. That part killed me the most. Then, we were fighting over who is always trying to do the right things and make everything better, but they just screw it up. This time, he accused me for everything wrong in his life.
HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS
WHY WEREN'T WE ABLE
TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED
AND TRY TO TURN THE TABLES
I WISH YOU'D UNCLENCH YOUR FISTS
AND UNPACK YOUR SUITCASE
LATELY THERE'S BEEN TOO MUCH OF THIS
BUT DON'T THINK IT'S TOO LATE
NOTHING'S WRONG
JUST AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT
SOMEDAY I WILL…
"Mike, you can't always do everything right you know; especially when you try to do things for me!" His words hurt me a lot. I could hear his heart beat hard in his chest and thought if this was really my fault. Of course what did I know anyways? I looked Alex with tears streaming down my face. I wanted to love him again. The way he knew what my feelings were, it was horrible to see the expressions he was giving me. His face was unpredictable, yet it was. I could see hints of anger, but behind that anger I could see him about to cry. He started packing more things into his suitcase and I could feel myself about to explode. I whimpered and frowned. Why was he torturing me? He was all I'd ever want, all I'd ever needed, but now… He's leaving. I wanted to make this right somehow. I picked up my head and walked over to him and words eased out of my lips.
"Please, don't go."
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOW THAT)
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN…
He looked at me and I could see the tears swelling up in his eyes. I was hoping I'd get this chance to talk to him without all the screaming. He scrunched his eyebrows together and sat down on the bed. I carefully sat down next to him. "Mike, why do we always fight?" I said nothing back, but instead I held Alex in my arms rocking him back and forth. I didn't see why we had to act this way, making hate instead of love. I gently brushed the tears off of his cheek and sighed, trying not to let anymore tears escape. I don't know how I managed to do this, but I stole a kiss from him. It was easy and not anything it wasn't supposed to be. All I knew is that I wanted to be like this forever, not making horrible scenes fighting. We stayed like this for almost an hour and he finally got up and said, "Mike, help me take my clothes out from my bag."
WELL I HOPED THST SINCE WE'RE HERE ANYWAY
WE COULD END UP SAYING
THINGS WE ALWAYS NEEDED TO SAY
SO WE COULD END UP STRINGING
NOW THE STORY'S PLAYED OUT LIKE THIS
JUST A PAPERBACK NOVEL
LET'S REWRITE AN ENDING THAT FITS
INSTEAD OF A HOLLYWOOD HORROR
NOTHINGS WRONG
JUST AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT
SOMEDAY I WILL…
I smiled and said, "Is this the way we talk about the things we need to say?"
"Yep," Alex used sarcasm in his tone, but I knew he was joking like I was. I forgot about the clothes and turned on my serious face.
"Alex, I love you." His face was frozen because he knew what he was about to receive. I slowly crawled over the suitcase and captured Alex's lips with mine. I held his face in my hand pulling him closer with my other hand that was wrapped around his waist. He responded to the kiss and parted his lips slightly for his tongue to brush over mine. I knew what he wanted, but I couldn't make any promises. I easily tugged his shirt off before I noticed that he had pulled mine off as well. Our bodies touched and I could feel the rushing of my blood pumping through my veins. I could hear his heart pounding through his chest. We hadn't shared a kiss like this in so long. I loved Alex and he loved me, but we both knew that we would still have fights that I can't cure with this. It will end up him leaving me, but right now, he was never going to leave my side unless I wanted him to.
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT)
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT)
By this time we were in the bed and he was letting me go. I kissed his temple and breathed slowly and quietly. What a way to end my day. Alex, still wrapped in my embrace, went to sleep. I stayed up most of the night thinking about Alex. He was mine, all mine, and I was his. I felt my eyes start to flutter, but I forced myself to stay awake. I wanted to get up and walk around the room, but I didn't want to leave Alex's side. He completed me. He was all I'd ever dreamed about, and he was the same today, yesterday, and forever. I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, so I nuzzled into Alex's warm chest. I softly whispered, "I love you Alex." There was nothing in this world that could make me want anything else, but Alex. I finally fell asleep and dreamed in the most heart-warming embrace any person could ever be in.
HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS
WHY WEREN'T WE ABLE
TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED
AND TRY TO TURN THE TABLES
NOW THE STORY'S PLAYED OUT LIKE THIS
JUST LIKE A PAPERBACK NOVEL
LET'S REWRITE AN ENDING THAT FITS
INSTEAD OF A HOLLYWOOD HORROR
NOTHING'S WRONG
JUST AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT
SOMEDAY I WILL…
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT)
SOMEDAY SOMEHOW
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT)
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN
(YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT)
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHEN…