The Long Road Home
By Debbie Bluerose
The financial statements littered the desk as Elliot Burch ran his fingers back through his rumpled hair for the hundredth time. His tie was hanging loose around his neck, and the secretary had gone home hours ago. The damage done by recent arson incidents was unrecoverable. He had tried to find the source of the attacks but his best investigators had come up empty. Whoever it was they were truly a professional in covering their tracks. The rash of fires had targeted Burch's properties, and once his empire stood in financial ruins the fires stopped. It had to be a personal vendetta of some sort, but with literally thousands of employees from top to bottom in his organizations it would take a lot longer to isolate the villain than the month and a half it had taken for his dreams to turn to ash. Now here he sat staring at the papers heralding the end of the once vast Burch Towers estate.
He had lost track of how long he had sat motionless in his chair with his eyes vacantly staring off into the dark. The first rays of daylight were stretching over the horizon and the increasing glare from the open blinds caused him to blink back to the present. Not wanting to face anyone, he finally stood and reached for his suit jacket then stopped. The Elliot Burch who always needed to be impeccably dressed was no more. Elliot's hand fell away short of picking up the jacket. The last weight crashed down upon his shoulders. The bankruptcy filing would salvage a few shards of his net worth, but the sparkling fortress he had spent a lifetime creating was gone.
'So it comes down to this… alone in my shattered castle.' His gaze bounced off a framed sketch of what would have been the Burch Tower had it not been stopped by the injunction. A flood of memories and choices came back to haunt him. Choosing the dream he had clutched desperately close for so long of his tower reaching towards the clouds over Catherine as his wife was one of few true regrets. In time her involvement in his life helped him find his way back to a part of himself that had been shut away, and her friendship was still something he had treasured even when he came to terms with knowing her heart was out of his reach. Now he didn't even feel worthy of her kindness. He had lost everything. Leaving the papers as they were, he reached into the side cabinet and pulled out a bottle of his favorite wine before turning to leave.
Few people looked twice as Elliot slowly made his way back to his high rise apartment. It truly was an apartment not a home he silently mused to himself. No personal photos adorned the walls or tables. No one greeted him as he dragged his feet over the entrance. Not even a pet to greet its master. There were many nights the apartment had set empty of even him, but not tonight. Elliot had once built an empire from the humblest of beginnings as a sanitation worker's son. Towers had arisen from dreams too fierce to be denied, but he was too now tired to dream again.
Slumping into the chair facing the East window he took a long drink, and watched what was left of the morning creep along the horizon to force the new day.
Catherine sipped her coffee as she seated herself to browse the morning paper before getting dressed. 'Burch Files for Bankruptcy' – the headline shouted. Stunned, she took a few moments before scanning the article. It had been some time since Elliot Burch had pursued her as a romantic interest, but she now knew some of the boy he had been that lay underneath the hardened persona and she counted him a friend. Concern over how he was managing the downfall of his company caused Catherine to pick up the phone and dial Elliot's office. She was greeted with a brusque tone and clipped message that sounded like a human tape recorder spitting out the same words for the millionth time.
"Elliot Burch is not accepting calls this morning. Please call the public relations office. Thank you." *click* Catherine had tried to interject the reason for her call, but was cut off before the attendant took notice. She glanced at her watch. There was time to stop off at his office before work if she hurried. The newspaper was tossed back on the table as she spun around to quickly get dressed and be on her way.
The sun shone brightly, but Elliot's mood remained dark. He had thought about closing the blinds to keep the light out, but he couldn't get himself to rise up from where he sat sinking further into himself. The only movement he made was to reach for the phone to order up a few bottles of wine. It had been a long time since he was good and plastered, but there was no reason to not get wasted this day. His office would be flooded with reporters all swooping down like vultures to tear apart the story of the decade to raise their publications rating. They would want a press conference to ask obvious and tired old questions that he didn't feel like answering. The world could go on without Elliot Burch as he had no intention of setting foot back outside his door.
Catherine had to half swerve and half push her way through the crowded lobby of Burch's office. Every TV station, newspaper, and local gossip rag had a reporter sent to cover the story. When she finally made her way up to the receptionist's desk the woman gave her a tired look.
"Elliot Burch is not seeing anyone – "the receptionist began to spout automatically.
"I'm not anyone and I'm not with the press. I'm a personal friend of Mr. Burch and I would like you to ring him and tell him Catherine Chandler is here to see him." The reporters close enough to have heard her words began jotting down notes – eager for any scrap of the story that they could grab.
"Mr. Burch is not in the office today, Ms. Chandler." Was the terse reply
Not in the office? When was he ever not in the office unless attending some event which Catherine knew he was not doing or the reporters would not be hovering here to catch a glimpse of him. "Could you tell me where I might reach him?"
"Don't know Ms. Chandler – he didn't exactly leave a forwarding number. Wouldn't you know more where to find him than I - you being his personal friend and all?" The tone was sweet, but dripped with sarcasm.
A comeback was on the tip of Catherine's tongue, but worry over Elliot won out over a battle of words with this obstacle. With one last hard glare, Catherine wove her way back out to the hallway where there was space to think. There had been an apartment address on some of the invitations she had received from him previously, but she didn't know if it was still a valid address. She checked the time and cursed under her breath. It would have to wait till lunch time as she was already running late for work.
The day had crept along unnoticed by the increasingly drunk Elliot Burch. The blinds had finally been closed as he pulled further into his downward spiral. There was a pounding sound ringing in his ears and it was only after several minutes did he register it was someone knocking at his door.
"Elliot? Are you there? It's Catherine Chandler." No reply. She knocked again more forcibility this time. Frustrated with how the day was going she crossed her arms and took a step back from the door to think where else he may be. Then the door started to open, and she strode in at the implied invitation. The sight that met her eyes was startling. The normally impeccably dressed and suave developer looked rumpled and half awake. The smell of alcohol was impossible to miss, and the apartment was cast in shadow with the blinds now tightly shut and no lights turned on.
"Elliot?" her tone was tentative despite there being no question of who stood before her. "What happened to you?" the question was more a reflex than an actual query.
"Attorney's don't read the morning paper anymore? What a shame. I'm sure there were some memorable quotes or such included in the story of what was once my life." His words weren't slurred but there was a definite slowed quality about them that was a result of the morning spent consuming more wine than he normally did in a month. Not waiting for a response he less than gracefully shuffled over to the small yet stylish couch in the middle of the room. There were two empty wine bottles already sitting on the table and the one in his hand was less than half its original amount.
If she had been concerned before, Catherine now had moved on to being alarmed at Burch's reaction to the Bankruptcy. "Elliot… I saw the paper. That's why I'm here. I was worried about you." She took a seat next to him and gently touched his arm to get his attention focused on what she was saying. "I know you will get through this. You started with so much less before – "
"You're wrong, Cathy." He cut her off. "I don't have anything left."
Puzzlement flashed across Catherine's face for a moment. "The bankruptcy will salvage enough to start over surely."
"You don't understand." Elliot turned to look directly into Catherine's eyes and what she saw there chilled her. "It's not the money. *I* don't have anything left."
Catherine had needed to get back to the office after her lunch break to deal with trial paperwork, but thoughts of Elliot continued to follow her through out the day. Surely he would be OK. This is the man who built his empire up from next to nothing and had time and again beaten the odds. Still there was something different this time. The fire that usually burned so bright in his eyes had dimmed.
"Hey Radcliffe, you got that testimony broken down yet?" Joe ducked his head around the corner to see her starring off ahead at nothing. "Radcliffe!" He called to her again more loudly to get her attention. Snapping out of her thoughts, Catherine saw a frustrated Joe before her with hands on his hips. "The testimony?" His patience was wearing through.
"About another five pages…" She flipped through the last bit of the paperwork sitting on her desk, as she stared up at her boss as he crossed his arms.
"You said it would be done half an hour ago." Joe stopped a moment to really look closely at his deputy DA. His tone softened slightly, "Everything OK?"
She smiled. Slave driver he may be at times, their friendship always trumped the work load. "Yeah Joe, I'm OK… just a little distracted. I'll finish this up before I leave and put it on your desk." He nodded and started to walk away. "Thanks for asking." The sentiment was sincere, and they both knew it. His half grin before disappearing back into his office showed all was OK between them.
She looked up at the clock cursing the speed at which the hands were moving. At this rate she would barely get done in time to meet Vincent for the concert tonight. Refocusing her resolve to finish the draft at hand she attempted to put Elliot Burch from her mind till she could figure out what direction to take.
Vincent began to pace at the threshold waiting for Catherine to make her appearance. He could feel that something was bothering her, but didn't sense she was in immediate danger. It was almost time for the concert to start and it was unlike Catherine to be late. Before her form became visible on the ladder he sensed her closeness and turned to greet her.
"I'm sorry to cut it so close … had some work I had to finish before leaving the office tonight." Catherine smiled apologetically.
His gaze held steady watching her expression closely. "Nothing more? I sensed your distance from yourself this afternoon. There seemed to be no immediate threat and yet…"
Catherine's smile faded a bit under his inquisitive gaze. "Let's walk to the concert… I'll tell you about it on the way." He graciously nodded and fell in step beside her down the tunnel. A pause of several steps allowed her to collect her thoughts. "It's Elliot." He remained silent allowing her time to tell him in her own way. "His business has been destroyed by an arsonist, and I'm worried that he isn't fighting back. I went to see how he was doing at lunch today, and what I saw was a broken man."
"You fear he won't recover from this loss?" Vincent prompted.
"Yes… but more than that." She continued off his mildly puzzled expression, "Elliot has overcome great hardships before in his life, but the drive … the dreams that once brought him from the ground to the top of his sky scrapers doesn't seem to be within him anymore. It's not primarily the financial loss that I am concerned over; it's the loss of himself that I'm not sure how he will manage."
"It is a dire concern indeed. To lose possessions is a small matter compared to losing one's dreams." Vincent agreed. They had reached the spot prepared for them under the park grate to listen to a night of music, but Catherine's heart simply wasn't into hearing the beautiful strings tonight. She attempted to make light of her preoccupation, but not quite halfway into the concert Vincent stood up and offered his hand to her.
"Vincent?" Catherine wasn't sure why he had indicated they were to leave early. He lowered the proffered hand and almost smiled.
"Catherine, I can see that you are not able to settle your mind to listen tonight and I understand. You are concerned for a friend and there is no fault in that. Come, let us go back." He helped her rise up off the cushions and noticed her slight blush from being caught in her inattention. Sheepishly she nodded consent and they walked silently hand in hand slowly back to her apartment entrance.
As they reached the ladder that would take her back above to her world they paused. "I'm sorry for not being better company tonight." She started to apologize.
"No need Catherine. Your heart does you credit in watching out for your friends in their time of need. Careful of the path you walk though as to not lose yourself in reaching out to another. There will be other concerts. Take care." He embraced her gently and watched as she disappeared into the light.
It was getting rather late, but Catherine knew she would not get any sleep tonight if she didn't at least check in on Elliot once more. She stood for a moment at the door before knocking asking herself what she was doing and chastising herself that he was probably long asleep or gone. After a few moments of consideration she raised her hand to rap at the door.
"Elliot?" She called out when the knock had gone unanswered. Common sense told her to walk away, but there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that just would not leave her be. Out of instinct she tried the door which by all rights should have been locked, but it opened easily. The room was dark and she could smell the strong stench of alcohol the moment she stepped over the threshold.
Elliot? It's Catherine." She tried once again, but only silence met her ears. As her eyes adapted to the dim moonlight coming in from the slits in the blinds she could make out a figure on the floor. She rushed over and gasped when she saw it was Elliot.
Shaking his shoulders to try to rouse him she continued to call his name with increasing volume, "Elliot… Elliot… Wake Up… ELLIOT!" Nothing got a response of any kind she grabbed his wrist to feel for a pulse and found a faint throbbing. He was alive, but in bad shape. Eyes darted frantically around till she spied the phone. Snatching up the receiver she punched in 9-1-1.
"911 what is your emergency?" The controlled voice answered.
"Have a man unconscious, not responding … he has been drinking…. I don't know how much…" Catherine's mind tried to think of what would be important in the little that she knew.
"We have an ambulance on route to you now. Can you detect breathing or a pulse?" the operator continued.
"He has a pulse…. Yes, but weak." She closed her eyes to try to calm her own voice.
Moments later the shrill sirens were heard as the ambulance pulled up to the building.
Vincent decided to walk the outskirts of the tunnels for a time after parting from Catherine to clear his mind. He knew that Elliot Burch posed no threat to his relationship with Catherine, and still it was hard to push down the feeling of potential harm that the man from Above evoked. Too often in the past this master of half truths had brought turmoil to Catherine's life either in the form of physical danger as the time on the docks or emotional distress that often followed the developer's presence. Thoughts pulsed through his mind preoccupied with battling his own insecurities till there was a flash of panic through the bond from Catherine. Something was wrong. Perhaps his fears were not as unfounded as he had tried to convince himself.
Catherine waited at the hospital as Elliot's condition was stabilized. No visitors were allowed in yet, and she knew the best thing would be to go home and get some sleep. Thoughts of 'if only' kept torturing her mind. If only I had seen how distraught Elliot had become…. If only I had checked on him sooner..
"Ms. Chandler?" the nurse's voice broke through her self incriminating monologue.
"Yes.. I'm Catherine Chandler." Her heart raced with fearing the news would not be good.
"You came in the ambulance with Mr. Burch, correct?" the white uniformed staff member was awaiting confirmation.
"Yes… how is he doing?" With slight agitation showing in her voice, Catherine tried not to shake the nurse and scream 'out with it already!'.
"Mr. Burch has stabilized, but will not be able to see anyone till the morning. Visiting hours start at 9am." With that short clipped report, the nurse's plastic smile disappeared with her down the hall.
Catherine let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Moments passed as she admitted to herself there really was nothing to do now but head home. Tiredly she drug her feet out to the curb to catch a cab.
Vincent was waiting intently on the balcony for the lights to flicker on that would signify that Catherine was back in the apartment.
She turned the key in the lock and shoved the door shut behind her as she plopped down on the couch. Noticing the shadow pacing on her balcony she found the strength to pull herself up and cross the room.
"Vincent." The one word uttered was both a plea for him to hold her and an expression of joy at finding him there.
After holding her close for several moments he pulled back slightly to whisper in her ear. "Tell me."
"I just came back from the hospital. Elliot is stable for the moment, but they are not allowing visitors till morning. I found him passed out in his apartment. I don't think he…" her voice trailed off as the possibility of Elliot wanting to deliberately harm himself entered her mind. "I don't know anymore. Will try to talk with him tomorrow to see how he is doing."
She was obviously exhausted, but Vincent could sense that she did not want him to leave. "Come. Sit down." He motioned at the corner of the balcony where there lay pillows from other nights the couple had spent sharing company under the stars. Silently she followed his lead and curled back up into his arms. Within moments she was asleep. Vincent softly kissed the top of her head and resolved to watch over her till the morning sun forced him from her side.
Catherine woke up still in the clothes she wore from the day before laying on top of her bed. Slowly the memories of the night before came back into focus. She remembered falling asleep on the balcony. Vincent must have carried her inside before he returned Below. Lack of sleep was calling her to return to her slumber, but a stronger need to update herself on Elliot's status pulled her into the shower to start the day.
The documents for the case being tried today were in Mr. Maxwell's office, and there was time to catch up on the rest of the cases over the afternoon if she skipped lunch. Catherine went through her mental inventory of tasks awaiting her during her drive to the hospital.
Arriving shortly after nine, Catherine slowly walked down to the room where Elliot Burch had been assigned for observation. She turned the doorknob, and quietly inched inside. The room was quiet except for the soft beeping of the monitors. Catherine paused for several moments with eyes nervously bouncing off medical equipment surrounding the bed. Finally, she stepped forward to rest her arm upon the railing on the side of the hospital bed. Elliot's eyes were closed and his breathing was even and deep.
"Elliot, what were you thinking?" she softly whispered out loud to herself. With a shake of her head, Catherine decided to not disturb his rest. She turned back towards the door when she felt his hand upon hers. A soft gasp escaped her lips as she had assumed he was still sleeping. When she looked back up into his eyes the strong developer who could handle anything was gone. Staring back at her was the boy who never had a chance. There behind those eyes was the kid who had to be left behind for Elliot Burch to rise above the New York skyline. He managed a half smile not sure what to say.
Catherine stood silently trying to decide how to react. Should she confront him on how she found him the night before or did he need her to help raise his spirit? Elliot had always been a thousand shades of grey making it difficult to know how to respond.
Elliot found his voice first, "Cathy… I … want to thank you. If you had not come by… " his voice was still more hoarse that normal but it was obvious he was trying to keep it level, "I owe you a great debt."
"Elliot. You don't owe me anything." She decided to push him slightly for an explanation. "I don't understand why… how things got to the point they did last night." The days of them being an item were long over, but they both felt a genuine friendship and concern for each other.
His smile waned as his eyes still held hers. "It's all gone Cathy. All of it… just gone." Elliot's eyes turned to gaze at the space towards the end of the bed not really seeing the room any longer.
"Elliot, this isn't the first time you have had challenges or setbacks. What about the time you went up against Max Avery? You came out stronger than ever despite the losses. Why is this different?"
Elliot wasn't sure he could explain. He wasn't the same person now that he had been. The 'How' he became this other person was a mystery even to himself. He recognized a large part of that transformation was due to Catherine's influence. He couldn't bring himself to say it was because of her love. She had turned down his proposal after all, and he had come to accept that there was someone else in her life. Someone she loved who must love her in return. How did he explain to her that he had lost himself so long ago, and now when he finally found who he had been it was at the price of who he had become? To recapture the boy he once was there was the loss of the man he had built himself to be. The wheels inside Elliot's mind spun faster without gaining ground. An ironic chuckle echoed through the increasing noise. Elliot Burch had been more built than born. But he didn't know how to change a lifetime of being that person who held such power. Yes, it had come at a price as all things do, but did the trade of regaining what was lost provide enough to continue forward.
Elliot brought his gaze back to look at Catherine's worried expression. Here stood the one person he cared about more than the power and constructed dreams. She actually cared about him. Not the multi-millionaire developer. Him. He would not betray that concern with a false smile and bravado. "I've never felt so lost in my life." The raw honesty of those words streaked across his face.
"What has been lost can be found again." She assured him. Vincent had once helped her to find her way back to the surface when she felt that she was drowning in her own life, and now it was Catherine's turn to honor that gift by helping someone else find their way.
Elliot broke eye contact. Letting someone in … letting them care was new and uncomfortable to him. "Elliot Burch is dead."
Catherine pulled over the chair from against the wall to allow herself to sit without moving away from Elliot's side. She glanced at the door then back to Elliot's downturned eyes. "I think I know how you are feeling… at least some of it." He closed his eyes in silent denial of her words. Catherine took his hand between hers connecting them physically when he tried to shut her out. She had never talked to anyone about how she felt during those first ten days after the attack that she had spent Below. Swallowing hard the words came slowly at first. "Not long before we met… there was an… an incident. Some men mistook me for someone else. They grabbed me, and pulled me into a van…" her voice threatened to crack under the pressure of the memories. Hearing this, Elliot cautiously returned his gaze to her face. Now it was her eyes that were down cast to avoid contact. "They cut up my face …and they…" tears were trickling down Catherine's cheeks.
"The scar?" Elliot whispered softly. He had seen before the lone scar she had chosen not to follow up on having removed. When he asked about it at that time she had shrugged it off with a tense remark of how doctors can be so dramatic with the simplest procedures and changed the subject. She nodded through a tearful smile.
"I must have passed out. I know they dumped me out in the park, and someone found me. What's important… why I'm telling you this is when I woke up and realized what had been done to me. I felt like my life was over. How could I be this glamorous socialite that everyone expected of me with my face destroyed." The tears slowed as she focused on the healing journey that came after. Water filled green eyes lifted and locked with Elliot's. "There were moments when I wasn't sure if I wanted to live. I sure didn't know how to go on with all that had happened. The person who found me told me I had the strength. I didn't believe him at first, but he was right and you may not believe me now, but I know you, Elliot, you have the strength to get through this. You do."
"Who was he? This man that told you this?" Elliot asked before he really thought the question through. By Catherine's response of ducking her head and slightly biting the inside of her lip, Elliot knew who. He didn't know the man's name, but it had to be Him. The one she loved. "It doesn't matter." Elliot was tired, and the last thing he wanted right now was to push Catherine away with questions she couldn't answer.
The door swung open as a nurse bustled in oblivious to the emotional scene she was disrupting. "Well, Mr. Burch looks like you are all set to get out of here just need you to sign off on this discharge form and I'll be back with your walking papers." Catherine withdrew her hand and leaned back in her chair. Elliot scribbled his name where the nurse pointed and she was gone. Silence weighed in the air. Catherine remained seated and Elliot did not make any move to dismiss her.
"Would you like for me to make sure you get home OK?" Catherine offered tentatively. A refusal was on the tip of his tongue, but something made him stop.
"Don't you have to get back to work, Ms. Chandler?" the formal address was meant more as an attempt at good humor to lighten the mood as the obvious hope for her to say no that she could stay was painfully clear.
"I should." She replied. Elliot's hope crashed, but he kept his face neutral. "But I think they can do without me for an afternoon. Let me make a quick phone call." She returned the chair to its original place against the wall. "I'll be right back." He didn't trust his voice at that moment therefore Elliot simply nodded. He glanced up when she had not moved from beside his bed. "It will be all right. I promise." Catherine gave Elliot's hand a squeeze then went to find a phone. Joe was not going to be happy about this, but he would just have to accept it. Elliot needed her right now.
Elliot had managed to hold back the tears … until there was no one in the room to see him cry.
Joe had fussed and fumed as expected, but in the end the extra work was distributed among the interns and Catherine was driving Elliot back to his high rise apartment. She hung back a few steps as he unlocked the door.
"You don't have to stay with me. I'm fine really." His eyes betrayed the truth behind the plastered smile. She walked past him into the apartment. Bottles were strewn around tables, and on the floor. Elliot himself had lost track of exactly how much he had consumed in his long slide into the darkness of depression. They both wordlessly took to picking up the trash and reorganizing the room. Catherine was placing the last bottle in the bin when she looked over to see Elliot had been sitting near a small end table for the last ten minutes staring at an envelope that lay on the floor. The drawer had been pulled out as he had made a failed attempt to rise to the chair earlier the previous evening.
Catherine walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Elliot? What is it?"
"Hmm?" distracted eyes refocused onto Catherine. "Oh… it's the deed to a cabin that my uncle left me in his will. He died two years ago. His lawyer informed me it would be mailed. I couldn't make it to the funeral. There was never the time…" his voice was strained with unshed tears.
Catherine picked up the envelope, and turned it over in her hands. "It's unopened." She placed the envelope on top of the table, and replaced the drawer. "When is the last time you ate?"
The first genuine smile in days spread across Elliot's face. "You know I'm not sure. The hospital didn't exactly match the fare at the plaza. You up for some real food?"
Vincent walked the tunnels leading back to Father's chamber. The old man had invited his son for tea after classes, and while Vincent enjoyed the patriarch's company he also knew that such an invite often came with Father having an agenda for discussion. Vincent rounded the entrance to find Father sitting at his desk, reading glasses in place looking over a copy of the New York Times. The older gentleman folded the paper and quickly put it aside.
"Vincent! How is the study of Hamlet going with the junior class?" Father rose from the table and began preparing the tea.
"Well. They are beginning to be able to see the deeper intricacies embedded in the text." Vincent picked up the discarded newspaper more out of habit to have his hands busy then out of interest of the world Above however the headline caught his attention when it mentioned Elliot Burch. The emotions coming through the bond were a roller coaster, and Vincent had no doubt that the developer's current situation had a large impact upon Catherine's mood. The article spoke of the fires that had led to the Burch Towers down fall, the failed investigation, and the lack of comment from the developer himself.
Father set a cup of steaming tea in front of Vincent breaking the focus on the newspaper. The patriarch pointedly removed the paper off the table. The action was not lost on Vincent, but the golden haired man would not let the subject go unaddressed. "You cannot protect me from the world Above as you once did when I was five, Father."
"And one does not stop being a parent simply because you have grown a few feet. I worry about your increasing involvement in matters that don't concern us here. "Father's matter of fact statement was an attempt to forestall further comment on the matter.
"This is my home, but I live in both worlds." Vincent challenged.
"Because of Her." Father grunted.
"Not only due to my connection with Catherine, but I cannot deny that she is a major link to the world Above. There are also helpers and those who have left here to live in that world. Surely you don't suggest we cut off all ties with anyone who does not choose to stay within these stone walls." It was going to be a long night if the same old arguments were to be completely rehashed.
Elliot had finally convinced Catherine over dessert that he was stable enough to return home in a cab on his own. The dark apartment still echoed the empty feeling that was gnawing at his mind, but he now knew that someone believed in him and that made all the difference. He walked over and picked up the envelope off the table. Running his fingers over the return address and pondering the possibilities, he finally retrieved his letter opener and then pulled out the contents including a property deed, a copy of his uncle's requests, and a second envelope with faded handwriting scribbled across the front. The name that he had left in the past stared back at him.
Catherine was emotionally exhausted when she stumbled through her apartment door and tossed her purse on the couch. A dark shadow on the balcony moved back and forth. Renewed energy flowed through tired limbs as she moved to open the balcony doors.
"Vincent, you have no idea how good it is to see you tonight." She melted into his embrace. Then it registered that he wasn't often there when she first came home. Granted it was getting darker earlier which made the trip more possible at this early hour of evening, but he seemed just as relieved to be in her arms as she was to be in his. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes, Catherine." He sheepishly tilted his head and allowed his hair to obscure his expression. "I missed you." The admission was so soft Catherine barely heard it.
Relieved that there was not a crisis on the horizon, she gently pulled him down to sit on the balcony beside her. "I missed you too." They sat enjoying the quiet comfort that comes from knowing no words are needed. When both had been calmed and fallen into the contentment only found together, Vincent turned the focus to the day's events. "Tell me of your day. What distressed you so this morning."
Catherine wasn't sure she wanted to bring up her talk with Elliot, but she knew that the strong emotions of earlier would have been conveyed via the bond.
"I went to check on Elliot in the hospital." She began then paused unsure of how much to say. Vincent sensed there was more, but did not push. "Vincent, do you remember how desperate and alone I felt when you first found me in the park?"
"I do." Vincent stroked her hair to ease memories of that time.
"Elliot is in much the same place now. He sees losing his business as losing himself. I tried to be there for him to let him know he would make it through, but I'm realizing that I'm not sure how to help him find his footing again." She turned to meet Vincent's serene gaze. "The bond we share made it easier for me to learn how to live a different life, but Elliot doesn't have that. I can't offer that to him."
"You offer your friendship. Your belief in him is a powerful connection as well Catherine." There was a part of Vincent that was reassured by Catherine's confession that she no longer saw the possibility of that kind of connection with Elliot.
"I just wish I could do more." Catherine snuggled back down into his chest as they both lapsed into comfortable silence for several minutes.
"Catherine, there is a concert in the part on Friday. Would you like to attend?" Vincent's voice was hopeful.
"Yes, that sounds perfect! I'll even make sure Joe doesn't have any last minute files to review so we won't miss the opening." With plans Below for the weekend the rest of the work week suddenly seemed bearable.
They spent the rest of the evening catching up on friends living Below. When the hour neared midnight, Vincent reminded Catherine she still had work in the morning. Reluctantly they parted and returned to their separate worlds till Friday.
Catherine was slipping into bed when the phone rang. She chose to ignore the shrill tone until she heard Elliot's voice start to leave a message.
"Cath… I'm sorry to call so late. I know you are probably already asleep. I just…" his voice started to trail off.
She picked up the receiver, "Elliot? Is everything all right?"
He hesitated now not so sure of himself. "I wanted to invite you up to my uncle's cabin on Friday. Might do me some good to get out of the city for the weekend, and would love your company."
The date Catherine had made only hours before flashed through her mind. "Elliot… I'm not sure that would be the best idea."
"Come on Cath… mountain streams, fresh air, and I promise not to make too many passes at you." He tried to entice her with humor and the allure of the countryside.
"Elliot… I have plans for Friday night." Catherine reminded herself that she didn't need to defend the right to have a personal life. There was silence at the other end of the line for several beat before Elliot recovered from the unexpected news.
"Saturday then… I promise I will be the perfect gentleman." He tried to keep his tone light and not sound as desperate as he felt.
"Elliot…" Catherine wanted to be clear on where they stood. It wouldn't be fair to allow Elliot to believe there could still be a relationship between them.
His tone softened and lowered, "Catherine I could really use a friend to talk to right now." The sentiment was genuine without trying to manipulate or push his hand like he had in the past when there was something he wanted so badly.
Catherine sighed. She would still have Friday night with Vincent. "All right, Elliot. Saturday."
"Thank you Cath… I promise to get you home early Sunday evening so you can get plenty of rest for work on Monday." He ended the call before Catherine could object to the implication that she would be spending Saturday night at the cabin alone with Elliot.
The week continued without any glitches or other surprises and before Catherine knew it Friday at 5pm was only an hour away. She plopped the stack of finished depositions on Joe's desk and started back to her desk in a blur.
"Hey! What's the rush? Got a hot date or something?" Joe tossed at her back.
"Something like that!" She grinned back. Joe shook his head and smiled if only his weekend plans included 'something like that', but he was looking at a long night at the office again.
The concert had been performed beautifully with both enjoying the company as much as the music. Vincent and Catherine walked slowly back to the threshold ladder. Saturday's plans with Elliot had been briefly mentioned, but more shoved to the side as far as discussion.
"I'm glad you asked me tonight. The orchestra was in rare form." Catherine hated small talk, but she was not ready to return yet to her world. Vincent could tell she was nervous about the next morning.
"What weighs on your mind so heavy?" he offered her the chance to bring it up.
"Is it that obvious?" she chuckled softly. Of course it was to him. "I just don't want Elliot to get the wrong idea. To think that things could be different between him and I. Yet he is so vulnerable right now."
"Follow truth Catherine. To do otherwise is a grave disservice to you both." His gentle reminder did little to dispel her apprehension. It wasn't that she feared Elliot, but rather than she worried about the blurring of boundaries that can occur when one is in great pain.
"I know you are right. So why do I feel I'm teetering on the edge of a cliff?" Catherine pleaded.
"He is in a dangerous place, Catherine. You want to reach out to him to help, but you must be careful that he does not pull you over." Bright blue eyes bore into hers with an intensity that if it had been anyone else would have sent her back a pace.
"I have your love to securely hold onto. I won't fall." Catherine leaned in gently and brushed her lips against his. It could barely be called a kiss. He tensed slightly but did not pull away. She had been edging ever closer to pushing the boundaries between them in hopes that Vincent would grow more comfortable with the physical expression of their love.
"See you Sunday night." She smiled and turned at his accepting nod.
The next morning Elliot knocked at Catherine's apartment bright and early at 8am. She barely had gotten dressed before he arrived. The Elliot Burch standing at her door in jeans and T-shirt was enough to render Catherine temporarily speechless. He appeared to be in good spirits all things considered.
"Ready to go?" He grinned with boyish enthusiasm.
"Almost. Just need to grab a few things. Come in and have a seat." She motioned him inside then made a beeline for the bedroom to finish packing a small bag. "You never mentioned where exactly we are going. Where is your uncle's cabin located?" She called from the bedroom.
"The cabin is in Connecticut," Elliot called back. Catherine held her breath. "It's near a lake called Candlewood." He finished. Whew… Catherine closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The cabin she remembered from childhood was further Northeast near Highland Lake. There were bound to be some regional similarities, but she wouldn't have to spend the entire day feeling like Vincent should have been the one at her side at her childhood sanctuary.
Catherine took one more glance around trying to think if she had forgotten anything. Nodding to herself she slung the shoulder bag on and headed out to leave with Elliot.
Elliot had rented a small truck that would better tackle the more roughed countryside then the city streets. The ride began in slightly awkward silence.
"No one has probably been in the cabin for years. I'm sure it's a mess, but once we get it cleaned up a bit… dust of the furniture…" Elliot's tone was jovial inviting conversation.
"Were you close to your uncle?" she inquired as Catherine watched out the window with the scenery changing from asphalt to increasing greenery.
He hesitated a moment. "Last time I saw him we were on a fishing trip. I couldn't have been more than ten at the time. We spent the whole day out on that boat without any fish to show for it at suppertime, but he said that it wasn't what we caught that mattered but the time waiting with each other that made the difference. I didn't understand what he meant back then."
Catherine gently laid a hand on Elliot's arm at hearing the catch in his voice. "My father and I used to spend summer's at a lake not far from here. Those are some of my most treasured memories. The days seemed to go on forever and the rush of appointments, work, and the city were left behind."
"Hey it's almost lunchtime, what do you say we stop off and grab a bite?" he tilted his head in the direction of an upcoming mom and pop diner.
"Lead the way!" Catherine smiled back.
They strolled back to a booth in the corner and pulled out the menus. A few minutes later a waitress strolled over and asked, "What can I get the handsome couple?" Catherine and Elliot exchanged bemused smirks, and Elliot started to protest the description of them as a "couple", but Catherine shook her head to convey it was fine and proceeded to order.
After they had polished off their meals it was not long before they were pulling into the gravel drive. Elliot grabbed his pack out of the back and handed Catherine her bag. The cabin was cozy with a front porch swing creaking softly in the wind. He went first careful of his footing to ensure the wood was still sound, and not rotted out. Taking the key out of his jean pocket, Elliot unlocked the door and stifled a cough as the dust stirred at the sudden disturbance. The dust didn't bother Catherine as much having gotten used to the fine mist of particles that Vincent's boots tended to send spiraling when he walked the tunnels.
"Well looks like we have our work cut out for us." Catherine announced as she handed Elliot a broom and took a dust cloth for herself. The cleaning didn't take as long as either of them had feared upon first sight. The sun was starting to set with a chill creeping in as they replaced the last of the cleaning supplies back in the truck. Elliot went back inside to get a fire started as Catherine slipped into the front porch swing to gaze at the horizon being painted in reds, oranges and a thousand shades fading into gray that would soon turn to black velvet studded with sparkling stars.
"Fire's ready." Elliot called from the doorway. Sighing to herself, Catherine pulled her thoughts back to the present, and went inside. They both sat in silence for several minutes on a couch set before a huge fireplace.
"How are you doing?" Catherine gently asked.
"Oh a little sore, but I think I'll live. I used to work on the docks remember? A little light housekeeping is nothing." He grinned with the smile not quite making it completely to his eyes.
She lowered her eyes, and stared towards the fire. She wouldn't push the issue if he wanted to keep his mask in place. The crackling fire was the only sound for several long minutes.
"How did you move on from the attack?" Elliot's tone had lost the jovial jaunt becoming quiet and serious. She turned to face him making eye contact that he didn't pull away from this time.
"I had help. Someone believed in me until I could find my own strength again. " She thought back to that first time she had taken the bandages off and Vincent's soft reassurance that she had the strength.
"My mother used to tell me I could be anything I wanted, but when she died…" tears began to well in Elliot's eyes. He fought them back trying to keep his voice level. "My father wasn't quite the dreamer. He believed in hard work and sticking to what you know. We didn't exactly see eye to eye." A half smile shown through the tears. Catherine put her hand on Elliot's shoulder in comfort.
"I'm sure both of them would be proud of all you built, but Elliot dreams are about more than things. It's what we carry inside of us. You still have that part of your mother in you. Sometimes we get so caught up in the world that we forget and it takes someone else to remind us." Catherine leaned closer to be able to support his shaking frame as the tears flowed heavier. "Let it go, Elliot. It's OK to cry."
Vincent stared out at the rushing waters of the falls the sound resounding in his ears in tune to his turbulent emotions. He knew Catherine loved him, and the dilemma of Elliot Burch was not a new one. He also knew there was a genuine attraction and connection that Catherine shared with the man. The emotions Vincent had felt when the developer first came into her life were real. If the circumstances had been different, and Elliot had not been connected to the intimidation of the elderly tenants of the apartment building… Vincent didn't want to think of how the paths taken may have been very different than the relationship he now had with Catherine. But going over the past was torture he didn't need to bring upon himself. The past was set and Catherine while concerned for Elliot's well being no longer held romantic feelings for the man. 'Am I so selfish with my love that I cannot accept even their friendship without feeling threatened?' he chastised himself.
Even across the distance he could sense her compassion. Catherine often gave credit to him for his strength without seeing her own. Footsteps were heard approaching, and Vincent turned to see Brooke quickly turning to leave.
"Brooke." He called her name preventing her abrupt disappearance.
She paused then finally turned back to come further towards the falls and Vincent. It was obvious that she had been crying. "Brooke, what is it?"
"Vincent you wouldn't understand." A compassionate ear was enough to start the tears anew.
"Try me." The calm steady voice encouraged her.
"It's Michael. He hasn't written back for two whole weeks now. I went Above tonight hoping to talk to him, but… when I found him he was sitting with some girl. They were laughing and I lost my nerve. I just ran back down here." She hid her face in her hands muffling her sobs.
"Do you know this girl?"
Brooke fiercely wiped at her face, "No."
"Where you close enough to hear what they spoke of?"
Her face scrunched up in puzzlement, "No."
"Then you really do not know for certain who this individual is or what the relationship is between her and Michael." Vincent was kind but firm in pointing out the assumptions the young girl had made.
Brooke's face lit up a little. "I guess I don't. But if he still cares about me why hasn't he written me back or been to visit?"
"Perhaps you should reserve those questions for Michael. I have no doubt he will be in contact. He still considers this home. He has made that clear during the past year while taking classes Above." Vincent also remembered the groundless jealously he had battled when Michael first was sheltered by Catherine, and understood all too well how easily one's heart can be to whisper fears.
Though her face was still tear stained, Brooke gave Vincent a quick hug and a thank you before darting back out to her chamber with renewed hope.
"Perhaps I need to take more of my own counsel." Vincent whispered aloud. Catherine would return soon, and Elliot would go on with his life.
The next morning Catherine awoke first and was starting a pot of coffee when Elliot stumbled into the kitchen still a little blurry eyed. He nodded his thanks to her when she handed him a cup. They sat down at the table.
"So where do you plan to go from here?" Catherine broke the silent tension. Last night had gone far into the morning dawn with discussions of family and paths chosen with no real decisions made. Elliot had cut himself off from most of his relatives without intending to by simply not being in their lives and he felt as orphaned as any street rat with no ties to speak of. Catherine could relate on a lesser level with having lost both parent and not having any siblings. She still had a few more distant connections to relatives, but the tunnel world was her family now as that is where she felt the most at home.
"Back to New York I suppose. It's all I really know at this point." His somber acceptance of his fate did nothing to brighten the morning.
"Trying to reconnect to your family can be frightening Elliot, but you'll never know what possibility could be there if you don't try." He looked at her doubtfully. "What is the worst that could happen?"
"They could hate me for the choices I made. I left them all behind. My whole world, Cathey, and for what? Concrete and steel buildings?" Anger at himself for being so blinded by ambition crept into his voice. "I was so selfish and focused on the next project I even lost the chance to have you as my wife so how can you sit there and tell me there may be something to go back home to when I've destroyed every chance I've been given!"
Catherine swallowed hard. Elliot never knew the real reason she had offered her hand in marriage. "Elliot I have a confession to make. I was being selfish in that offer as well. Your tower… threatened someone I loved and despite the pain it would cause him I chose to try to stop your tower any way I could."
The full realization of her confession crashed down on him. She was only willing to marry him to protect someone else. "Then you never loved me?" the pain was so fresh as the words tumbled from his lips.
Catherine stood and turned away slightly in unconscious defense. "When we first met there was a connection, but Elliot it wasn't meant to be. I'm sorry."
"Will you answer me one thing… honestly?" Elliot's voice was strained.
"If I can." Catherine turned back to face him bracing for what he might ask.
"If he weren't in the picture… would I stand a chance at all?" his deep voice was not much more than a whisper.
"Elliot…" she didn't want to give him false hope as things were not as Elliot hoped for them to be and while Catherine did not believe Elliot would deliberately harm Vincent should he ever discover his existence, she was still not sure how fate would have played out had she met the developer first and not been at that party the night events turned her life upside down. "It doesn't help anyone to play 'what if' as things are as they are. You know my love belongs to another, and that won't change. Please understand I care about you and I treasure our friendship, but Elliot that is all I can offer you is my friendship." He nodded firmly not able to get his voice to work. "You are a good man who got lost, but you have a chance to go back and find your way. It is possible. I'm not holding out false hope to set you up for a fall. I do believe in you."
She set the coffee cup down and rested her hand on his shoulder. His eyes rose to meet hers as his feet lifted him from his chair to fall into her embrace. Unshed tears were sparkling in his eyes once again when they parted, and he tried to shake off the emotional moment. "Guess we should get packed up."
"Why won't you let anyone in?" she ignored his attempt to withdraw once again.
Stopping the glib reply from escaping his lips, Elliot smiled sadly. "No one seemed to want to know who I was until I wasn't that person anymore. I told you once before Elliot Burch didn't have friends."
"What about Stosh? Did he have friends?" she softly challenged.
"A lifetime ago… yes Stosh had friends." The whisper was almost lost in the background bubbling of the coffee pot.
"Why not start there? You may be surprised at what you find." Catherine began to clean up the cups and shut down the coffee maker.
"What if there is nothing left to find." The statement hung there hoping she would have all the answers to his impossible puzzle.
"Then you keep looking, but Elliot whatever you do you can't give up." Catherine hesitated a beat. "Promise me." He looked confused. "Promise me you won't give up again."
He weighed the options silently then solemnly nodded. "You have my word Cathy." A relieved smile spread across her face.
"Good. Now about that packing up… " the day was just beginning, but she was already feeling a little homesick for those candle lit passages and familiar tappings.
The trip back was more easy going with both feeling the tension slip away. Elliot walked Catherine to her door and thanked her again for coming along.
"No problem…just keep your promise, OK?" She gave him one more bright smile as she shuffled back inside closing the door behind her. Elliot felt more at peace than he could remember in years. He started down towards the elevator when he realized he was still holding her jacket she had handed him to better be able to open the door. He turned and strode the few steps back to the door, but as he was about to knock he heard a delighted shout from the other side of "Vincent!"
Freezing in place, Elliot suddenly knew with certainty that this must be Him. It was such a simple choice Elliot could pound on the door insisting to be able to face his competition and maybe rescue the fleeting chance that Catherine may yet change her mind. It was all so simple. Elliot Burch would have slammed his fist against the door without a second's pause, yet here he stood frozen in place knowing he would walk away because he cared enough about Catherine to place her happiness above his own. Gently Elliot hung the jacket on the door knob and proceeded to return to his apartment.
"Vincent!" Catherine squealed in delight at seeing him waiting just inside the French doors. Not able to help himself, Vincent in one of his rare unguarded moments grinned back at her. She rushed into his arms and held on tight.
Then the realization hit her. Vincent was here – in her apartment – and it was the middle of the afternoon! "Vincent … how –"
"I came last night… "he paused, "because I wanted to feel close to you then I simply could not go back till I had held you in my arms again. So I hope you don't mind Catherine I let myself in to wait for your return."
MIND?! Did she mind? She was so thrilled Catherine without another thought threw her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips. After a stunned moment he began returning the kiss. When they finally parted lips both of their eyes were wide in astonishment at what had just occurred.
With a suddenly shy smile Vincent whispered, "I'll take that as you approve."
They spend the rest of the late afternoon enjoying each other's company till the darkness allowed the couple to reconvene Below. Vincent took his normal route over the side of the balcony under the cover of darkness, and Catherine made her way to the door still tingling inside from the new intimacy achieved with him. Keys in hand she pushed the door shut from the hallway humming low a jaunty tune when something falling to the floor caught her attention. She bent over to retrieve her jacket with her face wrinkled in confusion then her eyes widened when Catherine recalled having handed the jacket to Elliot. Regardless of the senselessness of the motion, she sharply turned as if Elliot would be standing there to catch her on her way to Vincent. No one was in the hallway. Shaking her head she pushed aside the small mystery for another day as she was too happy to dwell on minor quandaries tonight.
Elliot leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He had put this off, but it was time to move through the apprehension and guilt to read the letter his uncle had left him. Rather than bitterness and anger the letter contained a wistful longing for the connection once shared between them while at the same letting go to allow Elliot to become who he felt he needed to be.
The clock reported it was a little after nine in the evening. He had been debating on making this call since he left Catherine's side. Finally, Elliot picked up the receiver and called Cleon.
"I have a personal matter… a request to make of you." The security guard was still technically on the payroll till the end of the month, but in practicality with the company dissolving the brusque man was no longer obligated in the strictest sense of the word to put forth the effort to meet Mr. Burch's request.
"What do you need?" There was no resentment in the man's voice just a matter of fact offer to serve.
"Need you to find someone. I don't have a current address…" Elliot started to allow doubts shadow his voice.
"Tell me what you know, and I'll see what I can do." Cleon replied.
It had only taken Cleon two days to track her down, and now Elliot stood in front of the address that matched the scribbled note in his hand. It had been over twenty years since Elliot… or rather Stosh last spoke to her. Shoving the paper in his pocket, he slowly started up the walkway. The house wasn't big or fancy, but it had its own warmth and charm.
Just before Elliot's hand rapped on the door it swung open to give way to a rushing youth. The boy couldn't be more than eight, and he stopped short when he saw Elliot successfully avoiding a collision.
"Hey mom some guy's at the door." The sandy haired youth called back as he brushed aside the lock of hair that threatened to obscure his vision.
"Who is it?" the female voice echoed out to the porch. The boy turned back to Elliot expectantly.
"Tell her it's Stosh. Stosh Kasmareck."