Hey kids! Wazzup! Okay, yeah! You read the summary, you know how we do it up in the hizzay!
Ahem…sorry.
Anyway, I got this idea from no where. I still don't see why no one's done it yet. I guess it takes deep thought and concentration.
Oh well! I'll be the first one!
The Duke Of Hazard:
We come to the lovely, quite lively little city of Domino. Where all of the young children sit and ponder in their misery. Why? Because they don't have their driver's license!
One young man in particular, the illustrious Duke Devlin, has been working so hard to earn his! We follow him to his driving exam, where he will be tested. Then, let's only hope, for the sake of the children, that he passes!
Camera Man: Duke! Is it true that you're going in for your driving exam today?
(Ahem. When we said 'follow him' we didn't mean literally.)
Camera Man: Heh…sorry.
We now watch as Mr. Devlin takes his seat in the back of the room. His old man instructor hands him the written test.
Duke: Oh, man! I have no idea what I'm doing! I'm gonna fail this! Then everyone's going to laugh at me!
Question 1- What do you do at a red light?
A-Stop
B-Do nothing
C-Crash into the car in front of you!
Duke: I don't know! Oh man!
Question 2: When a dog crosses in front of you, what should you do?
A-Run into it
B- Go around it
C-Crash into the car in front of you!
Duke: Okay, seriously! I can't do this! I'll fail! I don't wanna be a loser!
Question 3: When should you get an oil change?
A-Every 3000 miles
B-Never
C-Crash into the car in front of you!
Duke: Okay, let's see. I have a 1/3 chance of guessing. Maybe if I get lucky, I'll guess the right one!
Question 4: Which selection of items is most appropriate to keep in your vehicle?
A-First aid kit, flashlight, spare tire, tool kit
B-Makeup, knives, laser gun, sewing kit
C-Crash into the car in front of you!
Duke: Hmm…let's just go over the answers in my head! C isn't right and never will be right, and B is just stupid. So it has to be A! HEY, I THINK I DID IT!
Final Question: If Seto Kaiba crosses in front of you, what should you do?
A-Run him over
B-Get out of your car and beat him up
C-Crash into the car in front of you!
Duke: Now this question I kinda like!
Instuctor: Okay, children! Are we finished! GREAT! Bring up those tests!
Duke: Great…now I have to drive!
After getting a good night's sleep, eating a hearty breakfast, and getting hot and steamy in the shower, Duke is finally ready to take that driving test!
Duke and his instructor enter the car, which has a lovely yellow STUDENT DRIVER sign posted on the top.
Duke: Ahem…okay, ma'am. Whenever you're ready…
Instructor: Okay! First, lock you doors and buckle up!
Duke: (Locks door, snaps in buckle) Great! I think I got this!
Instructor: Now back this sucker up and hit the highway!
Duke: The highway! Already!
Instructor: Do what I say, boy, or I'll fail you!
Duke: (Gulps) Okay…
After taking nearly an hour to pull out of the parking lot, Duke is now on the highway, heading for a place to practice parallel parking and the 3-point turn!
Insructor: STOP! STOP THE CAR!
Duke: (Slams on brakes) What! What happened! Did I hit something!
Instructor: Pull in over there. (Points to random parking lot)
Duke:….Oh….kay…(Pulls in lot)
Instuctor: Great! Now, drive over between those little cones.
Duke: (Drives over between the little cones)
Instructor: There you are! Parallel park this thing!
Duke: (Gulps) Um…okay….
Duke pulls hesitantly over to the cones, stopping on the side of them and putting the car into reverse.
Suddenly, his foot slips and he slams on the gas, flying the car backwards and into the dumpster behind them that appeared out of no where.
Duke: &&O)()&$#$$(&((#$(&!
Instructor: Watch you language, boy! Now park!
Duke: (Backs up. Pulls in. Backs up. Pulls in. Backs up. Pulls in.)
Instructor: What in heaven's name are you doing?
Duke: I just wanna make sure I'm even with the cones…
Instructor: Just pull the dang car in, sweetheart, we don't have 3 hours!
Duke: (Backs up. Pulls in.)
Instructor: See! That was great! Now, go over there so we can do the 3-point!
Duke drives the car over to a vacant little area. After checking accurately for any random dumpsters, he prepares for the turn.
Duke: (Backs up. Turns slightly left. Pulls in. Continues turning left.)
Instructor: Come on, darling, I have a life, you know!
After getting overly nervous, Duke slams down on the gas again, slamming into another random dumpster.
Duke: (&(&$#$#$&#$$#$&!
Instructor: Language!
Duke: (Sighs)
Instructor: Just turn a little more to the left, and you got it.
Duke: (turns left, makes it out of space.)
Duke: Hey! I did it!
Instructor: That's great honey! You pass! Now drive us back to the station, and I'll register you for a license!
Duke: Phew! I'm glad that's over with!
Excited, Duke backs up too quickly, slamming into yet another, random dumpster.
Duke: $#$&$#(($&($#!
Well! Whatcha think of that? I had myself cracking up!
R&R!
GK09