Disclaimer: Those who own Stargate Atlantis and all who sails in it,
Author: alastria7
Title: Sarah's Little Problem
Genre: General
Characters: Weir and 'Captain Sarah Davies'
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Others own Stargate Atlantis not me. No money earned.
Summary: Half an hour in the life of one Sarah Davies, a 28 year-
old captain in the US Air Force in Atlantis, under the
leadership of a certain Dr Elizabeth Weir.
Sarah's Little Problem
Oh, for crying out loud! Let me sleep, why don't you? That's three times already this week - it's getting way beyond a joke; not that it was ever one to begin with. I mean, I know the Wraith are practically knocking at our door and we have to shave those extra minutes off our evacuation procedure, but do have to do this now? At 23:45 hours?
We're not all night birds, you know. Some of us quite like to be tucked up and snoring by 22.30 hours. OK, so a person protests. Fat lot of good that is; all we get is, "It's got to be perfected. It could save lives. It's for your own good."
Yeah, yeah, yada, yada.
But 23:45 hours? I mean, come on, couldn't this happen earlier? No, of course it couldn't. Silly me. And that damned claxon needs turning off before I shoot the bloody thing off the wall myself, or murder somebody – which kind of defeats the object of trying to save lives in the first place, really.
Where the hell's my other shoe? I swear I used to have a pair of the things. I can just see me, hopping up the corridor, "ole One Shoe, coming through!" Well I'm certainly not going to be out of here in the one minute that's allowed: "One minute to clear your room after the claxon sounds and present to corridor." Well, they've had that – I need to pee. I got a little evacuation procedure all of my own to work through first, before I leave, or how am I supposed to keep still while they do the section headcount?
Somebody! That claxon, please! What's with Weir, anyway, coming up with torture like this? That woman needs feeding to the fishes. Bloody sadist. I'd like to give her a piece of my mind. Yeah, right. Like that's going to go well for my Air Force career. And I already know what I'd get back. "Own good, yada, yada."
OK, so that's the call of nature out of the way, now where's... ah, there you are – how can one little shoe get so lost in such a small room? Now that's got to be more than a minute. Not my personal best although, on the bright side', I guess this won't be my last chance to get it right!
I should sue them for misrepresentation. Gate travel: travel to an exciting new world', why don't you. New galaxy to explore.' Who knew the sadist in charge wouldn't let me sleep when I got here? I feel like standing outside her room tomorrow night and bashing a drum, loudly. See how she likes it. And do I get a lie-in tomorrow, for the stealing of this hour? No-o. Of course not. Perish the thought!
OK, there's less personnel out here than I expected to see. I guess most of them made the one-minute thing. Good for them! Still, there are other stragglers around to keep me company, on our way to getting yelled at for being late.
Oh great. McKay. Just my luck. Of all the corridors in all of Atlantis, you happen to walk along mine.
"Davies."
Well, at least he remembers my name. I'll bare my teeth at him. With any luck he'll think it's a smile. "McKay. Not your part of the city."
"Uh, no. I was visiting'."
He's got that vague look again. Hold your tongue, Sarah; he wouldn't tell you who his little assignation was with if you asked him. But then, I could never resist a challenge. "Oh, who?"
"Who was I...? Oh, no one. No one at all."
Do I really have to state that you can't go visiting No One, because they wouldn't exist? How the hell did he get this job? I'm pretty sure it should have been the brightest and the best' that made their way here. But it's probably not wise to ruffle McKay's feathers; he's wacky enough on a good day.
OK, so it looks like we're going to have to wait to use the transporters coz there's no others nearby. Clever these Ancients, huh? Not so much. You'd think the transporters would be larger than this, but I don't suppose they had Weir's timetables for city-wide evacuation in mind when they invented them. Bloody broom cupboards! There's still around two dozen ahead of us. And I'm trying not to make eye contact with McKay while we wait; the poor dear is so shy of woman he goes off on some elaborate tangent and bores the hell out of us all if he catches us looking.
So, waiting, with McKay, in silence. Fascinating. You know, I really need to get out more – just maybe not in the middle of the damned night. Oh, oh. McKay's activated his brain again – he's doing that annoying little wave of his finger in the air while he's thinking stuff.
"Uh, Davies, I just remembered. That report - I don't seem to have had..."
"Done. You have it." What's he looking at his hands for?
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't see it here anywhere."
Wise guy. "On your desk, Doc. I put it there before my last end of shift, before I hit the canteen for a round of chess and a bagel."
"My mistake. Sorry."
Whoa! McKay apologises? I didn't know he knew how that worked! Ah, the transporter's clear; time to play Narnia. In we go, me and McKay, the last two, all cozied up and late on our fast-track to the main area – way to go! I've got to get me one of these when I get back home, back to Earth. Now, how weird is that?
Phew, here at last. Out of breath but present and almost correct. Eeew, Weir's not a happy camper; her eyebrows are meeting in the middle! I think we're all here now, and yeah, McKay and I would be the last to arrive. Lucky me, I would have to find Weir in charge of this section.
"Disappointing."
She's not kidding, I could still be asleep.
"You'll have to improve on this time..."
I bet I know what's coming next.
"Your lives could depend on it one day."
Heard it!
"So I'm going to keep ordering these little evening 'adventures' of ours, until we get it right."
We? Was she late, too? Oooh, look at the stern face - she's scary.
"I just don't understand what's going wrong here."
She doesn't understand? And they say she's a diplomat and no one's fool? Then I guess if she wants to know, I'll give it to her. Over here, Weir-E. See me. Hear me roar.
"Davies?"
And they say the hand in the air thing is over-rated. "Dr Weir. You want to know what's going wrong?" Oooh, the Hard Stare. Save it, Weir-E, I'm not intimidated by you. One of the few, probably. "The one minute to leave the rooms...?"
"What about it?"
"It's not enough. It's just not enough time, Ma'am."
"And what is it that you can't grasp about, basically, running for your life?"
Oh, she's good. "Needing to answer the call of nature first."
"I see. I'm getting a rather disturbing picture, Davies, of your shrivelled corpse, sitting on a toilet, after a Wraith has taken his fill of you."
And I'm getting another – of a puddle in the corridor, but hey... "Good point, Ma'am. But the main hold-up was at the transporters. They're just too small for that volume of traffic." That has the inmates muttering their agreement. "We were standing, waiting, when we could have been fleeing." Ha, got her frowning with that one.
"It's still the most efficient way. It'd take you much longer to run here, Captain. And if you'd made it to the transporter sooner, you'd have been here sooner."
Sheesh. You just can't argue with this woman! "Yes, Ma'am." OK, let's say I get here a little earlier next time? What about the ones that'd be going in the transporters after me, huh? They're still going to be late! And here I'd be, waiting for them – Weir would still be getting mad, and I'd be peeing on the floor!
No deal.
It's not that I'd like to see Weir eaten by a Wraith, but sometimes the thought alone is quite pleasing.
"All right everyone, back to your rooms. I won't tell you when the next drill's going to be but I want better results next time, is that understood?"
For heaven's sake woman, go to bed – get off our backs.
"Dismissed."
That's more like it. I can see my pillows. I can see my little old sheet, turned down from when I fled the bed, to the sound of those bloody claxons. I can see my tired little body climbing into the warmth and flaking out for the count, until morning.
"Davies? A word?"
Oh, crap. I hadn't exactly imagined a girly chat at this hour. What's the old crow want now? I guess I pissed her off! Oooh, she's drawing me aside so I guess I'll be getting it in the neck for what she probably sees as insubordination. But it's my bladder. I know it well, and I know its limitations.
"Sarah, we need a Section Leader, to take over from me on this section, and I think you're perfect for the job."
You clever bitch! I take my hat off to your leadership skills, damn you. You're putting me in charge so I can't bloody well be late! It's an innovation! I hate you, you're brilliant! "Me, Doctor?"
"I can't think of anyone better qualified to chivvy the stragglers along and knock this section into shape."
Cool. Controlled. She's winning, and she knows it.
"And the good news is that you'll have prior knowledge of when these drills will be. Plenty of time for you to answer the call of nature first, before you leave."
Game, set and match. I have to hand it to her, she's a bloody good leader, the best I ever served under. "I'll do my best, Ma'am."
"No."
"No?"
"You'll do better than that, Captain. Goodnight."
Gotta love her - got the victor's rosette all over her as she walks away. The bitch. One of the best. And, hey, I can go find my cozy little bed now, so every cloud...', and all that.
Welcome to Atlantis!!
God, I love this job!
End
alastria7