MY LIFE
Wordcount: ~370
Rating: T
Author: zankkabella
Warnings: bad english (if you find any errors, please, tell me and
I'll correct them), angst, blood, yaoi, boy x boy
Disclaimer: do not own them...never will...but it wold be fun to...
Authors note: this is a fanfic i wrote late at night once...couldn't get it posted before...
How can a human go trough so much pain and misery that it feels
like everything will fall apart at any second and fight with his own
thoughts just to survive an other day and not take suecide? How can a
human survive that feeling for 20 years?
I dont know how long I can fight to live anymore. Fight to see you smile at me, your smile that
makes me feel better for a while. Until the walls fall and I face
reality and its pain again in fear. Fear to not be able to see you,
your honey brown hair, your pouty lips, your perfectly shaped body,
your angelic voice. The whole of you. You, my dear Uruha.
Reita lay on his bed, facing the celing. His cheeks stained with the rests of the
many tears he had cried. Everything was like hell. Nothing helped
anymore. Not even depression pills. The only thing that helped a
little was to see his long time crush, childhood friend and band mate,
Uruha. But when he hadn't been able to see him for a couple of days he
had lost his hope for a while and torn up. It was then he had started
cutting himself. It haddn't been to deep wounds in the begining but as
he got used to the pain it had caused him to black out right after for
a while because of the blood loss and throbing pain.
Several times had Aoi come to hang out with him and found him almost lifeless on the
floor. Crying in the middle of a crimson coloured puddle of his own
blood as a strain of blood creeped down his arm. After the second time
Aoi hadd more or less moved in with him so he could watch over him
and, hopefully, not find him dead.
Reita gazed at his left arm and looked at his carefully wrapped above and under the bandage he could still see the scars from cuts he had made those painfull
days. He slowly laid back down and drew a deep breath as he could feel
his body slowly relax enough for him to get some sleep. Dreamless or
nightmares. There haddn't been an other option in years.