Sanford's Grandma

A/N: Lol, I had a sudden image of Snake's Grandma…

It was a pretty normal day for the Gangreen Gang. They were just hanging around Townsville, in the alleyways when…

…an old wrinkled, mean-looking lady with a cane in a pink dress got off the bus in Townsville. The bus left in a cloud of smoke and dust, leaving her coughing.

"Stupid bus driver and stupid city!" she waved her cane in the air.

Putting the cane in front of her, taking a few steps, she slowly made her way along the alleyway and walked right up to the gang.

"Sanford? Sanford, is that you?" the lady peered at Snake, lifting her round-rimmed glasses and squinting.

"Grandma? Whats are yous doing heres?" Snake practically shouted at her. The rest stared at him in shock.

"Heh, I'll recognize that nasty lisp of yours anywhere. You're coming home with me, sonnyboy!" Grandma Ingleberry dragged Snake by the ear.

"Sonnyboy?" the gang snickered. Arturo was in hysterics.

Snake looked to Ace for help. "But Grandma, the guys need my help, right Ace?" Snake pleaded.

"Nah, we'll do fine without you. Go on home with Granny, sonnyboy," Ace said, the rest bursting into laughter.

"Listen boy, I'm gonna be staying in Townsville for some time now, and I expect you to take care of me like you father did. Or how he should have instead of running off after that green-skinned woman," Grandma said.

"My mother?" Snake asked.

"Yes, useless woman that she is," Grandma grumbled. "Oh, and some guests will be coming to visit me," she said, expecting some interest on Snake's part.

He dutifully asked, "Who?"

"Oh, just the nicest little girls, the Powerpuff girls I think they were."

"WHAT?" Snake almost dropped the plate he was washing.

"Careful boy, that's fine china you're handling!" she barked. Snake rolled his eyes, yeah right, like he didn't know she bought the plates from Walmart. "Sweet nibblets, boy, it's just a few girls, you act like you've never been around girls before," Grandma narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "unless…boy, do you have a girlfriend?" she interrogated Snake.

"N-no, n-n-nevers."

"What, not even once? Good heavens, are you GAY?" Grandma shouted, spittle flying out of her mouth. "Those boys you hang out with must be your gay partners, especially that Ace-boy! I'm going to- Snake? You okay boy?" she stopped mid-way. Snake had paled and was making choking noises. She smacked him with her cane and said, "Now I'll make sure you get a date with one of them girls, just see that I do."

Getting smacked with the cane, Snake could finally breathe again but his head was still spinning. THE POWERPUFF GIRLS! VISITING HIS GRANDMA! HIS GRANDMA SETTING HIM UP FOR A DATE! WITH ONE OF THE AFORE-MENTIONED POWERPUFF GIRLS, OF ALL PEOPLE! Snake felt like crawling up in a ball and dying.

"Now don't just stand there! Set the table, bake the cookies, and get dressed! These are valuable life-skills boy, and be thankful I'm here to teach you, unlike that irresponsible mother of yours. You need to look smart to get a date!" she gave orders like a drill-sergeant. Snake hurried to carry out her orders to avoid another smack from her cane.

The doorbell rang. "They're here!" Grandma hurried to the door while Snake scooted to his room.

"Hi Mrs Ingleberry!" the three girls chorused.

"Why, it's the Powerpuff Girls! Come in, come in." Grandma welcomed them. "Call me Grandma, everyone calls me that."

"Okay, hi Grandma!" Bubbles said, giggling. "The professor wants you to enjoy these cookies he baked."

"Oh, he's your father?"

"Mm-hmm," they said, nodding.

"What about your mother?" Grandma's voice carried all the way to his room, Snake cringed at the way his Grandma shoved her nose in people's affairs.

"Umm, we don't have a mother," Blossom clarified.

"Goodness, your professor needs to get married soon! Take my word for it, girls. A single person is a lonely person."

Buttercup took a bite out of the cookies that Snake baked (hehe!). "Wow, these cookies are good!" she said.

"Yes, my grandson baked them. I'm glad you liked it, because I need your help, girls. My grandson is quite lonely, and would one of you girls go on a date with him?"

"What's his name?"

"Sanford."

"Oh, okay. We'll think about it."

"Why didn't you come out from your room? Oh well never mind you're going on a date. Meet her at the mall on Saturday." Grandma was so happy with her success that she hummed and looked less mean for once.

Snake ran out as soon as she got a little distracted.

"Hey guyss," he said as soon as he stepped in the alley.

"What took yous so long?" Ace complained.

"Unless it was your Granny keeping you away from us." More laughter.

"Not funny, guyss."

At the Powerpuff home…

"Why don't you go, Buttercup?" Blossom said.

"What? Why me?" she moaned.

"You never go out on dates, remember what Grandma said, a single person is a lonely person," Bubbles reminded Buttercup.

"They're fun, trust me," Blossom reassured. "Now, we need to get you dressed up."

At the mall, a dressed up Buttercup waited. "Stupid date, I don't even know how he looks like!" she fumed.

Snake spotted a lone Powerpuff girl sitting at one of the secluded booths. Lovers' booths where they can kiss without interruption. Snake thought it more likely that she chose the seat so that she could hide from others, in case her date was embarrassing, not because she wanted to make out with him. "Shit, it'ss Buttercup! And she lookss mad!" Snake cursed.

Buttercup finally looked up and saw Snake. "Get lost, Snake. Can't you see I'm on a date here?"

"Actuallyss, I'm your date. I'm Ssanford, Sanford Ingleberry." Snake looked nervously at Buttercup as he sat across her.

"WHAT? HOLY S-!" Snake kissed her on the lips to stop her from cursing. "Mmh?" Buttercup was stunned. Snake licked her lips, sucking a little on her bottom lip, and gently pushing his tongue a little farther into her mouth.

Buttercup could not believe what was happening here, she was kissing SNAKE of all people. But he was such a good kisser and Buttercup enjoyed the way he worked his tongue, Buttercup was dizzy and light-headed that she didn't care anymore. "Mmmmmhhh…" she opened her mouth wider, letting Snake's slender forked tongue explore the crevices of her mouth. Snake ran his tongue lightly over the roof of her mouth, tickling her. Their tongues touched, Buttercup playfully rubbed her tongue against his until he moaned, hissed and grabbed the back of her head, so that their kiss deepened. His hands slithered up to caress her shoulders.

Pulling apart, they were still face to face with each other. "Ughhh, Snake?" Buttercup panted, her lips sensitive to his breath blowing on her slightly swollen lips.

Snake sighed, "You tasste like butterssotch milksshake, hmm, my favorite." Too bad the table was between them, or he'd like to maneuver her in a more comfortable position. Lying down, preferably. Dirty thoughts filled his brain and he shivered. How was it possible that BUTTERCUP could be such a turn-on?

She kissed him again with fervor, the butterscotch milkshake she ordered ignored. He responded with increased intensity, almost desperately clinging on to her. "You won't tell Ace about this, will you?" she asked. Buttercup ran her tongue along his neck and he shuddered violently.

"Y-yesss, I mean no." Snake let out a heavy sigh, God, she was killing him!

"Good." Buttercup gave a little kiss on his neck and smiled.

Right, so I was thinking of an idea for a story so original, nobody wrote it before. So I came up with this. And ugh, negative reviews make me want to never continue a story. So if you hate a story and want it discontinued, just tell me, k? No need for flames. Same applies to all my other stories too.