Okay so evil Rent Kiley henchmen leaders Captain Falcon and Pichu were just gaurding the time capsules frum da gud gais and it was extremleh insatiably boring so Captain Falcon thought of something to do.
"Ey Pichu wanna go to an alleyway in New York City n knock over sum boxes or something" said Captain Falcon.
"ok" said Sonic (actually it was Pichu but okay)
So den they went to da New Yark Citi professional alleyway to go knock over boxes or something until suddenly they encountered
Matt Berninger (da legendary baritone frum da baritone rock band The National)
"Ey Matt d'y'know where we can find sum boxes 'round dsi shit town" said Falcurn.
"What the fuck is a box. Also y'better git outta dis city now before I baritone up the place yo'" said Mart as he assembled his team of significant American presidents. It was:
*Bill Clinton
*Barack Obama
*Obummer
*Obomber
*Bomberman
*Bormer
*Barock
*Brock from Pokemon
*Bill Clinton
*Baroque
*Borack?
*Boring Rock
*Barack Ebola
*Obama Bin Laden
*Barick
*Bye Rick
*Bill Clinton
*President Keager Johnny Sanae Boatswain Wattanstein
*The president
Captarn gasped. "THE PRESIDENT(s)" he yelled in disbelief. Pichu hasn't said anything yet because he's a Pokemon and those fuckers can't speak English for sum reason. "Hey, ntohing we can't handle" he tought out loud as he assembled his own team of uber-cool to oppose Matt. It consisted of:
*Francis
*E-102 Gamma
*The Beatles
*Shulk
*B.D. Joe
"HAHAHA, NOW TO DO HOSPITAL STUFF" said President Wattanstein as he prepared his menacing medicine attack.
"I hate hosptials. EOUH" said Frunsic as he picked up Gamma and den thrw hm at Kugrwnut but it missed and so Gamma almost exploded and died but then the overly excited black guy B.D. Joe frum Crazy Taxi came in and saved him by making him fall in the backseat of his taxi.
"WATCH IT, PAUL" said Bill Clinton in a voice similar to wun u da gais from Crazy Taxi to Paul McCartney frum da Beatls. Paul, however, would have none of that shit, and so he pulled out his bass and then smacked Billr accrros da faec and he died and then excploded.
"YEAH, WE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN" said B.D. Jeorl as he started up his Taxi and ran over some of da presidnets. "AHM REALLY FEELAN IT" said Shulp as he found some chronicles so he could be liek Shulp. Den Gammer got outta da taxi car and shot one of da prezes and he died.
"And doctors and lawyers and... what the hell is this?" said Francois as he picked up da taxi while Bdr was still ninit n threw it at Captnna Fundlcna who falcun bpandch'd it into space, not reallyizing that Bead Joke was still in the car.
"Stop fucking killan eveyun aon da good gai taem y'shoe" said Carpet to Frontseat as he then fluclorn porneudn'd Freckle into spaec to be with his best friend, B.D. Joe. "Oh yeah and what a shoe team lol; you're fired Pichu" he den said to his best friend Picture as he then flowcarn pyuanch'd Pinch into spa3c to be with those other two guys. "CHAAAAUUUUUU, PEECHUH" said Pantry as he exited the stage.
Then Gamma picked up the Beatles and threw it at one uf da presidents but it missed again because these idiots have terrible fucking aim and so all da beatlrs dad except for John Lennon because he was the actual lead singer of Fleetwood Mac.
"Well the government shut down, but atleast I get a day off." said Obama as he danced away.
"YOU WIN THIS TIME, SUPER-PRESIDENT" sayd Garma as he flew away for no reason. Shallrp then decided to finish off the rest of the presidents with ASS RUSH n so Matt Bearnigger was singled out (though he still had Brock and Keagerstein on his side so that's all gud y'know?)
"HUAH, HE'S NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THISSSSSSSS" sayd Maett in a similar fashion to Eggman from Sonic Adventure as he got equipped with his baritone microphone and his baritone rock band da Nation-all to sing a very baritone song for da peoplez!11!1
But then suddenly B.D. Joe's car came back from outer space and everyone on Captain Falcon's team who left was in there and so it parked on Brock's face because nobody cares about him because he's a jelly-filled donut.
"EYY QUIT UR PONDERIN'" said Brock in a similr fashun to wun uff da citizen gais from Crazy Taxi as he sorta died I guess, I mean being exposed to exhaust flumes could cause serious colateral damage and severe headaches, no?
Then Captain Flaonc took the box for Mario Kart 8 and smacked Matt Beardginger across the face with it and Mort then fell to the ground and was defeated. Kuglwattn was busy playing the game and he got really tired so he fell asleep. Then a go-kart actually from the game ran him over but then disappeared and was never seen again.
"YOU WIN THIS TIME, SUPER-PRESIDENT" said Matt as he ran away; he had a concert to perform at anyways. Den Gamma caem bac and wasn't scared andymore. "Eyy gais I just ran away becus I was scrad lol" he sayd as he rejoined da taem. Francis also caem back but then he was all liek "I hate small towns." and threw Pichu back in as a substitute for him and then rocketed away.
"Pichar I thought I fucking fired you y'stupid shit" Cpana said. However, he didn't actually fire him becasue the only one who can fire people is their mastermind foo' boss, Rent Kiley.
But then Shulp was all liek "Eyy fuck you guys rofl" and then ran away to form his own rival villianious shoe team. "QUICK AFTER HIM" commanded Falcon and so they ran after him.
Find out next time on whatever the hell this is.