A/N This started out as a oneshot then turned into something totally different. Hope you enjoy. I might take a while to update!

Eponine Thenardier, was the kind of girl who didn't believe in much.

It's hard to believe in much when you've lived a life as she had.

One would think that would be her reasoning for becoming the critical, hardheaded young woman she had become over the years.

They would be wrong.

She used to have dreams, and she used to take the time to listen to others dreams as well. She used to enjoy the summer sun against her skin instead of bundling up even when the weather did not call for it. That was before the barricade. Before she had lost them. Before she had lost, him.

Eponine pulled her thin shawl around her shoulders. The new republic had failed and so, leaving her to her devices she had to go back to working the streets as she had before the barricade. She knew she would never live as well as Cossete lives, with Marius. The Marius that she used to love. The Marius that survived the barricade when he shouldn't have. The Marius who left his brothers behind. The Marius that was not there to protect reckless, Enjolras. Her, Enjolras. As he had promised he would.

Eponine had cut Marius out of her life after the barricade. Claiming she needed time alone, the truth was that she couldn't bear to look into his eyes. Because if she did so she knew she would only see a reflection of the past. The past that had been filled with promise of a new future.

Some new future this is.

Walking down the streets that are still filled with young children and beggars, each desperate for something in their own way. The only thing Eponine saw was the Cafe that lay ahead of her. The only thing she heard, the dull clicking of her old boots against the stone paved street. She pushed open the damp, old door without any trouble and stepped into the Cafe that held so many memories, good and bad both. She let out a whimper as she glanced around and a few curious faces glanced in her direction, for it sounded as though she was in physical pain. Holding up a fist to her mouth and biting down on her knuckles she forced herself past the front room and went quickly to the back room, not meeting any of the eyes of curious onlookers. Today was the day she had forced herself to come to the cafe. Thinking she would have enough strength to hold herself together. After all, it was a year today since the barricade..

Eponine, stepped the final step towards the back room. Almost afraid of what she would find. Had anyone entered the room since the barricade had failed and the young schoolboys had been slaughtered among one of their favorite places? Had the room been rebuilt, to shut out the painful memories of the favorite customers that would come no more? Would she see a room that held nothing of what it used to? No. What she found was much worse. Stepping into the old back room she realized nothing had changed. The tables were all set in the same way they had back when the room held meetings that called for a better tomorrow. The chairs were paired off in front of her and if the past had been just that easy to forget, Eponine would swear it was about to be filled with the group of hopeful schoolboys. The silence in her ears filled with hallucinated laughter and the voices of the boys who had no idea their death was waiting for them, right around the corner. And Gavroche. Always believing in anything the boys had to say. As she pushed herself away from the doorframe she hadn't realized she had been leaning against, she took a brave step towards the chair in the corner.

"Grantaire." She whispered, her voice breaking at the sound of his name.

"You drunkin, fool."

The chair sat alone, in the corner of the room. It wasn't hard to remember who sat there. Grantaire, with all his snide comments and nicknames for Enjolras.

At the thought of his name, Eponine sat down in the chair in which Grantaire used to observe the meetings in. Claiming he had no faith in the cause, when everyone knew deep down that he was just as dedicated as any of them.

She glanced to the three chairs that were pulled up in a corner, in a triangle like manner. "Courf, 'Roche." The nicknames burned her mouth like poison, poison that caused her to feel alive in a strange way.

"Feuilly, Boussete, Bahorel, Joly. You boy's been behaving yourself?" She smiled into the silence then swallowed, as her eyes filled with tears. "Ferre? You better be taking care of my boy." She addressed Combeferre in the direction of the table where he and Enjolras used to stand together, but she did not dare glance upon it yet.

Eponine closed her eyes, afraid of what she would see when she opened them. When she finally worked up the courage to do so, she opened them and looked upon the table.

He used to stand up there, Enjolras so strong and confident in their cause. He would speak words that sounded as beautiful as Jehan's finest poetry. It was easy to believe in the cause when he was the leader.

From the moment she saw him, Eponine knew she would regret believing in something later on, but when she heard him speak of the new world, it was the hardest thing she had ever done to try not to fall in love with him.

She rose from her feet, pushing away from Grantaire's favorite spot that still smelt a tad of alcohol. And for the first time, Eponine didn't resent the smell. She welcomed it.

Taking the first shaky steps towards the table where he stood so many times, she let her eyes fill and then pour over with tears. When she reached the table, she couldn't stop the tears from coming. They flowed without stop down her cheeks and then onto her chest. Reaching her hand up to touch the air where he had been a year ago. Giving the men the last speech they would ever hear from their noble leader. When air was all her thin hand could feel she recoiled it back then grasped both hands to her dirt covered skirt. Suddenly filled with the realization that he was not there. And he never would be again, Eponine tightened her grasp on the thin material skirt and let out a throat cracking scream. She didn't mind if the people in the cafe heard her, or if they saw who it was. For when they did, they would simply turn their backs on her and walk away.

She kicked the leg of the table and then pressed her back against the wooden wall, not taking her eyes off the spot where he would have been speaking today if it weren't for the barricade. The bloody barricade that had taken her sweet boys away from her.

"You-" Her body rocked back and forth as she sobbed without control. "You promised me you would live!" She shouted, her head hurting from yelling so loud.

Silence filled her ears and she leaned her head back against the wall in defeat. "You swore to me that you would live." She whispered, shaking her head back and forth. "And I was stupid, and I believed you." Glancing up at the abandoned spot on the table she could only look at it for a moment before closing her eyes. If he was still here, Enjolras would have taken her in his arms without a thought and held her close. Whispering comforting words in her ears until she was calmed.

She sat in silence for a moment. Mustering the courage to speak once more to the empty room.

"Enjolras-" Two tears slid down her cheeks as she spoke his name. "Enjolras, I miss you so much. I miss you everyday. It's hard to do the stuff we used to do without you." She paused for a moment. "Normal things, they're hard without you. Because everywhere I look, there's a memory of you there." Covering her mouth, she began to cry. "I can't- Enjolras, sometimes I can't even remember what your voice sounds like. Do you know how scary that is?" Sobs had taken over her body once more and she hugged her knees to her chest. "I used to be able to imagine you telling me goodnight. And I love you. But now.. I can't even do that, because I can't remember what you sound like."

She sat there for a while, as if waiting for a response that she knew would never come. Then pushed herself away from the wall and stepped into the middle of the room, smiling sadly to herself she spun once around in a circle. Not bothering to wipe away the tears that stained her face now, for she was certain there would be more to come.

"You remember when you danced with me here?" She asked, looking around she felt more tears escape her eyes. "I do. I remember it because we were the only ones here, and that was the night you told me you loved me." She smiled like a young girl and spun again then began to clumsily waltz with the memory of her Enjolras. "I told you not to, because this was no time to be in love. No time to fall for someone. Because if one of us died and the other lived.." She paused then laughed at herself. "Well look what's become of the one of us who survived." She reached the palm of her hand up to her cheeks and wiped away her tears for the first time since she had arrived and laughed dryly once more. "You would've wiped those away for me. Because you were a gentlemen, Enjolras."

She stayed at the cafe for nearly an hour after that, talking to her friends who were not there and saying the goodbyes she had held in for so long. However, she could not bring herself to say goodbye to one. When standing in the doorway, she looked over the room once more. "I'll see you later, Enjolras." She whispered. Knowing it was a lie but not minding.

As she began to walk to the front of the cafe from the back room, she could feel nearly every set of eyes trained on her and her dirty, tear streaked self. She had nearly reached the door when a voice spoke up, "Are you, Eponine Thenardier?"

She turned to the sound of her name and scowled slightly. "Who's asking?"

A rather plump woman nodded in her direction, "I am."

Eponine nodded only once, "Yes. I'm she, what did you need?"

The woman smiled slightly and began digging through her many drawers. "It's around here somewhere. Ah, here it is." Eponine's eyes grew wide and her body stiffened as she saw that the older woman was holding out a sealed cream envelope.

"Who is this from?" Eponine asked cautiously.

The woman reached out farther to place the envelope in Eponine's hand. "Young boy, one of them that died at the barricade. There's more where this one came from. But, I'm only allowed to give you one at a time dear."

Eponine covered her mouth and tears threatened to fall from her eyes once more. "What was the boy's name?"

Smiling slightly, the plump woman took Eponine's hand in her own and folded her fingers over the envelope. "Enjolras."

Eponine pulled her hand away from the woman and took the envelope in both her hands, she walked to the corner of the musian and with shaking hands, opened the envelope. It took a moment for it to see the words through her tears but once she could, she immediately recognized Enjolras' elaborate scrawl.

Eponine,

I hate writing this. I really do. But It needs to be done. The truth is, the time is almost here. It's almost time for the barricades. The people will rise. I can feel it, but on the off chance that they don't- I have left behind letters for you. Letters that are going to get you through. Because, like you said; We're both better versions of ourselves when we're together.

And this way, we can be together even if we're in separate worlds. Because I swear, even if I die. I'll make sure you live.

The first letter is just to get you started. Take a deep breath. Relax, Eponine. It's all ok. If I know you, and I'm pretty sure I do. You've been worrying far to much. Probably over thinking everything. Do me a favor, this week try and look on the memories with fondness. Not pain. I'll help you with the first memory. The flowers. Do you remember the flowers? I do. I brought you home flowers and you put them in the middle of one of our thickest books. What was it called? Pressing flowers? Why would you kill perfectly good flowers? That still doesn't make any sense to me. There you are. Go home, and find the flowers. Throw them out if you must to move on. They're flat anyways! So that's it. The first letter. The others will most likely be longer, but this one was hard for me to write. I'm not going to lie, because I can't lie to you. It's impossible. Don't roll your eyes. You're rolling your eyes aren't you? Well deal with it. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm your angel now, watching over you as you read this. How ironic right? How could someone like me become a angel? Maybe that's not what I'll become. Maybe I'll just be allowed to watch over you. It's gonna be hard though, to not be able to touch your cheek, kiss your lips and tell you goodnight. But it's gonna be ok. For both of us, I promise. Just.. Promise me you'll keep reading these. Because as hard as it is for you to read them, it's even harder for me to write them. So excuse the occasional smudges on the pages. Yes, they are my tears. If the guys find this letter before you do, I swear I'll never hear the end of it. Grantaire will have proof that his Apollo is human. So please, please keep these safe.

I love you Eponine. And I promise to look over you. Wether you're reading this, or I'm still with you on earth. I'll take care of you.

All my love my dear Eponine,

~E

Eponine closed the letter, and placed a hand against her forehead. "Enjolras." She whispered. "Enjolras, thank you." Her voice broke only slightly and she walked to the door of the musian shakily.

"I suppose I'll see you tomorrow dear?" The plump woman called after her and Eponine only nodded her head in response. Unable to find words. She walked out to the street, clutching the letter in her hand. Afraid it would disappear if she didn't hold it tight enough.

The sun had begun to set and as she walked back to her house, she continued to hold the letter tightly in her hand. She passed Marius, and saw that his eyes were dead set on the Cafe Musian, just as she must have looked, hours ago. The only thing she managed to say as he passed was, "It's gonna be ok." The first words she had spoken to Marius since the barricade, and they were shared words. Just as much for herself as they were for him. She wasn't sure if they were true, but at the moment. She felt like they were the most truthful they had been since the barricade.

TBC