Missing You

To: (Your name)

I'm living in a lie.

I tell you you're the most amazing person I've ever met.

I tell you I love you with all my heart.

I tell you that you are the one.

But that's not true, not really. I've been lying to you, hurting you. You gave me your heart but I didn't give you mine. I can't. Maybe if we had met earlier, I could have fallen in love with you, given you my all, my everything. But now we can't, not anymore.

You are an amazing person, but not the most amazing one.

I love you with my head, not my heart.

I want you to be the one.

I should have realized it sooner. I gave you clothes that I liked, perfumes that I liked, took you on dates where I wanted to go, cooked dinner that I wanted to make.

You tried so hard, to be what I wanted you to be, who I wanted you to be.

I'm so sorry.

But, you aren't him, and he isn't you.

I tried to make you into him, because he is the most amazing person I've ever met, because he's the one I love with my heart, not my head. Because he is, the one.

I was trying to see him in you.

I gave you clothes in his favourite colors.

I gave you perfumes that resembled the ones he used to wear.

I took you to places where he would take me.

I made you dishes that he loved.

Whenever I hug you, I close my eyes and just imagine that you, are him.

Whenever I kiss you I can only see him in front of me.

Whenever we make love it's his name I whisper, out loud. Quietly, so that you can't hear it.

I miss him.

I'm sorry that we didn't get to meet first, because I'm quite sure that could have made a big difference.

- Phil

To: Dan

I've been deceiving myself.

I've been deceiving her.

She loves me, so much. But I just. can't.

I gave you my heart, a long time ago. And you still have it.

I want you to keep holding on to it. It has always belong to you. Since the moment we met,

It has been your's for the taking.

Whenever I missed your scent, I hugged her.

Whenever I missed your laugh, I teased her.

Whenever I missed you next to me, I cuddled up beside her.

I know I'm selfish, but what am I supposed to do?

I can't hug you, I can't see your laugh, I can't cuddle up beside you. So she's the next best thing. She's hurting because I can't let go of you. I try so hard, every single day. I have tried to love her more than I love you. But, every single time. I fail.

To think that, maybe if we hadn't met first. But, she and I.

Maybe it could have been different?

Who knows?

So therefore, I now. give up.

I can't live without you.

So I hope that you don't get too angry with me.

And just maybe you might be able to forgive me for joining you too early.

Your's only, Phil.

- Isa Sophie Ring