Homage
Summary: Come and listen to a story about a man named …, uh, sorry. Wrong show. This challenge reminded me of yet another classic TV show for some reason. Grissom's thoughts in the lab one day.
A/N: Improv Challenge Entry. First and last lines are provided, with 1,000 words to fill in the rest.. Kudos to Ann and Burked for their beta services.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I was not drunk when I wrote this. I wasn't. Oh, and I'm still working on my take-over of CBS, so the rights to CSI aren't mine yet.

Something was growing in the break room fridge again. Catherine was grinning salaciously as she talked on her cell. Hodges was cackling like a constipated hyena. Greg was bouncing around the DNA lab with a geisha-dressed mop. Grissom was nodding contently.

It was good to have things back to normal.

Well, what passed for normal with the blended, somewhat dysfunctional family over which he was the architect. At the time, he thought Catherine had resumed her coke addiction, but she'd been right. The team had gelled into a family of sorts, but it took nearly losing it for Grissom to realize that fact.

Nick, upset that his promotion had been taken from him, had gone to Honolulu to investigate a job opening there. It had been a rough week, waiting to hear whether the bikini-wearing hula dancers would appeal to him more than their own glitzy showgirls. A well-timed surfing accident served to remind Nick that he was better suited for the desert.

Then there was Sara. They'd completely lost track of her as she toured the Grand Canyon on her extended vacation. It had been a harrowing time, wondering if she'd fallen off a burro, or got trapped in a ghost town.

Things had looked so rough, he'd even cancelled his plans to return to Kings Island, and it took a lot for him to break a date with a roller coaster. But tonight, tonight was the night they would be back, and Grissom wanted things to be perfect. That was the only reason he was kneeling in front of the fridge trying to find the offending package. Shifting aside some containers, he grinned when his name was spoken.

"I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle."

"Original, Grissom. You didn't leave another experiment in there, did you?"

He twisted his head to give her a smile. The vacation must have agreed with her; he couldn't remember the last time she seemed in such a good mood.

"Our legal system is based on the presumption that a man is innocent until proven guilty," he pointed out.

"I never imagined you as the innocent type."

"You better get out of here," Grissom warned as he started to get up.

"Why?" Sara asked, looking completely confused.

"I don't want you to starve."

"Huh?"

"Well, you stopped eating meat after you saw a decomposing pig. This is a decomposing avocado. If you stop eating veggies, you'll starve."

"Very funny. How long did you leave that in there?"

"From its condition, I'd say this culinary crime was committed ages ago. And I didn't do it."

"Uh, huh," Sara said, grinning at him as she went to get some coffee.

"For all I know, you left this in here before you went on vacation."

"Not me. I have an alibi. I hate avocados."

"How can you be from California and hate avocados?" Grissom asked in feigned horror.

"Maybe because people in California want to put avocados in everything? Trust me," she said gravely, "avocado ice cream sundaes are not good."

"That only establishes that you didn't intend to eat the produce in question. That's no proof you didn't plant it, no pun intended."

"If you lift prints from that, I'll be very impressed. Grossed out, but impressed," she said, staring at the liquefying pulp inside a luckily sealed plastic bag.

"I think this is one mystery that can remain unsolved," Grissom said, holding the bag away from him as he walked to the trash. "We have an entire cleaning staff. Why don't they do this?"

"I think the fact you threatened to have Alice fired for dusting your office might have something to do with it."

"She was scaring Tiger," Grissom said aghast. "Do you know how long it took to get his bristles back down? I swear, he hid for so long that I thought he disappeared."

"Maybe Ecklie can talk her into it," Sara said wickedly. "All the cleaning staff likes him."

"Ecklie, Ecklie, Ecklie! That's all I ever hear. How great he is at doing his paperwork. How he doesn't lose requisition forms."

Deciding it was time to make an exit, Sara slipped out of the break room to visit Greg in the DNA lab. On the way, a running Warrick spun her around in a quick hug before grabbing a flying football tossed by an equally grinning Nick, who also hugged her.

She gave them a disgusted look as she brushed coffee off her jacket. "Don't play ball in the lab!"

"Considering a new career as hallway monitor?"

"I'll have you know I was the best safety monitor at Clinton Avenue Elementary School," she said with exaggerated importance when Grissom caught up to her. She gave him an inquisitive look as he smiled hesitantly.

"I have an interesting case for you. Well, actually, you're going to help me with one of my cases. It's an odd serial crime."

"Serial? Rapist, murderer?"

"Doll-napping."

"You cannot be serious."

"Very," he intoned heavily. "Someone is breaking into antique shops, private residents, museums all over the country. The only thing they're taking are Kitty Karry-All dolls. The first robbery in Vegas happened last night."

"Billie the Kid rides again?" With a grin, she wandered into Greg's domain, where a bear hug and kiss on the cheek awaited her.

"Come here and hear. You are about to have an auditory experience that will be unrivaled," he told her as he placed a CD in his boom box. "This is my band. I'm the singer. We've cut a demo. What do you think?"

"Greg, you should have waited until your voice stopped changing before trying to make a record," Grissom said, frowning as he made his way down the halls. Everyone else got to hug Sara, but not him. No, he had to be holding a rotting avocado.

Partway to his office, he stopped when a commotion broke out. Cries of "Look out!" were followed by Catherine's bellow of "My nose! My nose!"

"What's going on?" Grissom asked as he approached a milling crowd of techs.

"Nick's in the locker room hiding from Catherine," Archie replied.

The End