From Mudblood to Malfoy

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. Not even the plot ideas since I morphed every one I've read into one.

A/N: This is a parody of Hermione-turned-pureblood-to-Malfoy. I know this is over the top, kinda the point. Also, not betaed for the same reason. I've read enough of these type stories that it's made me cry (well, very nearly) and they were quite scary.

Hermione ran into Ron's room. "Oh no," she moaned to the boys and Ginny (who was there for no real reason except she is always Hermione's best girl friend). "The Grangers aren't my real parents!!"

"What?" The other three said at the same time. They just think like that together. All friends are so in synch. Everyone knows that.

"Apparently, I'm adopted and my real parents are pureblooded Wizards who put me up for adoption because they were Death Eaters and yet were still scared of Voldemort!" She said all this in one breath. "I am to met my real parents in a week, right before school starts. The Grangers, who have always loved me, insisted, upon this. I don't know why really, but they did and I do everything right and proper." Hermione sat on the bed and looked miserable. She didn't ever pout (but she is in this story, so deal with it!) but all this brand new life change was rather unsettling.

A Week Later
Hermione left the Burrow by the Floo network and went to meet her parents. They were very nice and loved her very much. She didn't question why they never looked for her even though they had been the ones to hand her over to the Grangers, a Mudblood family they had saved from Voldemort's terror. All that mattered was she now had another set of parents, which explained all her amazing magical abilities. She noticed why she never looked like her "parents" too. She was almost an exact replica of her mother, even down to the color of her eyes.

The Next Day
On the train back to school, she told the other three and Neville and Luna (who were always around, no matter how much they weren't needed) what her parents had told her. She told them how nice the Stevens had been to her, giving her all sorts of money and presents to make up for lost years. She told the other kids that she had instantly called them "Mum" and "Dad." Her hair had changed too, since it was only bushy to disguise her true parentage. Now she looked like a movie star, right down to her manicured nails.

It also turned out she was bethrothed to Draco Malfoy, the same Malfoy that had made the past seven years (who cares if her seventh year was just starting out so it was technically only six years, LoL) of her life miserable by slinging "Mudblood" insults at her. Bemoaning her life, she was not looking forward to the next year at Hogwarts.

Since they were bethrothed from birth, Dumbledore made them both Head Boy and Head Girl. It only seemed right since they would have to marry right after the big graduation (which doesn't normally happen but it does in America and the author is American!) party. They shared a private suite, complete with bathroom and beds that were side by side.

Over the next few hours, their hatred turned into love and by the time graduated rolled around, they were inseperable. Draco would now hit any Slytherin who called his girl a "Mudblood" and Hermione would hex anyone that insulted Draco, including her best friends. Love was obviously more important than friendship. Duh.

As the wedding came and went, the Malfoys went on an expensive honeymoon in Italy where they both lost their virginity to each other. Everyone keeps their virginity for their one true love and even though had lived together for nearly a year, they had never given into temptation. (duh, I mean really people!) Just ten months later, they had a baby girl named Harriet Ronalda Stevens Granger Malfoy, called Harrie by everyone. Draco had given up his evil family ways after he had fallen for Hermione and she had stopped being a know-it-all.

And they both lived happily ever after. He was her Dracy-pooh and she was his Hermy-bear. They had a lot of slick brown-haired, silver-eyed kids that were extremely intelligent and snobbish.

the end.