Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Law and Order: SVU characters. They ALL belong to Dick Wolf.

Brian-

I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. Don't blame yourself. I would have gone even if you had been here. I'm sorry that I couldn't call. He told me he was watching me. By the time you read this, I'll already be dead. I died after killing him. Before I died, I called the home phone and left a message to tell you where I was. Please move on and meet someone. You have my blessing.

All my love,

Liv

Everything was frozen as I read the letter on our kitchen table. I ran to the home phone as fast as I could, but it didn't seem fast enough. I pressed the button for the answering machine.

"No new messages,"

I felt a flutter of hope make its way through my body, only to be squashed by reality. I had no idea where she was. I opened up my cell and searched through my contact list.

"Nick, I need you to track Liv's phone, NOW," I said through the tears I hadn't noticed were streaming down my face. I heard complete silence on the other end for only a second, but it was a second too long. A second we were wasting on the phone chit-chatting instead of finding Liv.

"Is it Lewis?" He said with a shaky voice.

"I-I think so. She left a note," I stuttered.

"Yeah, I'm on it. Come down to the precinct." His voice seemed stronger now that he felt he was doing something to help find her. No. I couldn't leave. What if she called? She said she was going to tell me where she was. I couldn't leave her when she needed me most.

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'? You don't care enough about Liv to help us find her?!" Nick was furious at me.

"She… She said she was gonna call before…" I stopped, unable to bear the heavy burden of the words.

"Before what?" He practically shouted at me.

"B-before she killed herself." Silence on the other end. Suddenly, I became conscious of the steady stream of tears rolling down my face, which only made me cry harder. I mentally kicked myself. Get it together! I heard some mumbling on the other line, and I realized Nick was filling in the rest of the squad on what was going on. The mumbling stopped.

"Got it!" His voice became clear again.

"She's at 369 Madison Street. Apartment 2F. We're sending SWAT now." Worried triumph filled his voice.

"Okay. I'm going." I was going to be there. I was going to find the one thing on Earth that made life worth living.

"No, you can't. She's with a psychopath who will do whatever it takes to win against her. Sending you in the state of mind that you're in would be sending you on a suicide mission." He spoke with authority, like he was always in charge.

"Yeah? Try and stop me." I hung up the phone.