Disclaimer – I own none of the characters nor places mentioned in this Fanfiction. They all belong to the wonderful JK Rowling.
Summary – Hermione is getting married but not everything is as it seems. Will dreams become reality? Or is this just cold feet?
A/N – It's been so long since I've been able to produce any kind of writing! My other laptop has been lost for awhile now and all of my writing was on there. But I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things, so just bear with me.
Warning – Very mild sexual content.
It seemed like the entire world stopped the day Hermione Granger was to become a Weasley.
Twenty six year old Hermione Jean Granger stood alone in Fred's old room, staring at her reflection in the large mirror. She was undeniably beautiful with her bronze hair cascading in tighter-than-normal ringlets over her shoulders and nearly halfway down her back. Her dress was a stark white strapless princess dress. The corset top was just enough to show off what she was always hiding beneath her black teaching robes, the bottom of the dress billowing at the hips, down to her feet and into a three foot train. While she admitted it was quite beautiful, she had always felt like the dress belonged in a fairy tale and her life was far from it.
Hermione hitched up the fluffy dress, tulle bunching under her fingers, and sighed as the white shoes Molly had gifted her came into view. Molly had worn them at her own wedding and her teary eyed speech had ceased any argument from the bride-to-be. They were magicked to fit Hermione's feet but they still felt...off. She finally met her reflection's eyes; red and puffy, they spoke volumes. Thankfully the charm she had placed on her face while doing her makeup held through the tears rolling down her contoured cheeks.
The footsteps outside the bedroom shocked her back to reality and she quickly wiped the moisture from her face, using her hand to fan her eyes in hopes of drying them. It was useless – the tears kept coming. She kept her back to the door as it quietly opened and closed again. She heard the person slowly walk towards her and she held her breath, trying to contain the rush of emotions as she assumed it was her father coming to tell her it was time. When a hand gently touched her bare arm, all the air from her lungs released in a giant sob. It was the most familiar feeling; the rush of adrenaline that raced through her blood any time he touched her.
"Hermione."
A chill ran down her spine when his voice reached her ears. She hadn't realized he was that close; one step and her back would surely mold perfectly against his front as it had numerous times before. He had told her once it was perhaps his favorite position to take her in. The memory jarred her and her breath hitched, air suddenly difficult to come back.
'It isn't a memory,' she chided herself. 'It was just a dream!'
"I thought you weren't coming," she managed to whisper, remembering he told her just the other day in the Great Hall that he would not be able to attend.
A long sigh came from behind her. "I was not going to," he said, choosing his words carefully. "However, I need to keep appearances."
"It does not explain why you're up here," she replied with more vibrato than she truly felt.
There was a long and tense pause, a million different reasons racing through her mind.
"I dreamt of you."
That single sentence was her undoing. She could no longer run from the truth. It all started to come back to her. It had to be real. The nights she'd forgotten to take her potion the dreams she had were all too tangible.
"I felt you," she breathed out. "In my dreams..."
She trailed off, not knowing how to tell him what was racing through her mind. She heard him take in a shaking breath. She wanted so badly to meet his opal eyes, knowing they had to be as watery as hers. The thought of Severus Snape in tears was both unbelievable and heart-wrenching at the same time. His hand tightened on her arm and his forehead came to rest upon the top of her bare shoulder, his inky hair brushing against her cheek as it fell forward.
"I have been awaiting this day for what feels like an entire lifetime," he whispered, his voice deeper than she'd ever heard it. "I was beginning to think it would never happen."
The floodgates opened as she heard him mutter a spell. They could both see the memories returning in a rush, some slowing just long enough for Hermione to catch a glimpse of Lily's wedding to James or hearing a teenage Remus telling her his deepest secrets; they had once been best friends, she realized. Her knees buckled as she witnessed herself speaking to a much younger Snape, his long-fingered hands threading into her mane of hair when he leaned down for a slow kiss.
Severus couldn't contain the sob that left him and it broke the connection. Hermione's knees buckled and her hand shot out to steady herself on the ragged dresser beside her. The memories, however, didn't stop. She was in a room with Lily, listening with a heavy heart as she told her James was taking her and baby Harry to a safe house. She barely heard Lily ask her to be secret keeper before she was blinded with pain as Voldemort tortured her for information. Green light took over her vision.
Suddenly she saw a mid-twenties Severus Snape on the floor before her, completely lifeless. She heard her own scream as the vision changed. Time changed again and she was back in the same situation, with Severus barreling into the room, this time brandishing a sword and it was Voldemort's screams that filled her ears as it connected with Nagini. Again there was green light.
"What happened?" Hermione gasped out as she came back to the present.
"You told me of the Horcuxes. I worked with the Order to destroy them while still being able to infiltrate the Death Eaters. I was Voldemort's right hand man but you played the biggest part in his downfall."
"I used to have dreams of another life," she admitted. "One where Lily and James were dead. One where Harry was raised by terrible people and we had to fight a different version of Voldemort every year."
Severus' hands gripped her arms tighter in comfort. "I know. I still have them as well. My Obliviate didn't work as well as the others. Dumbledore believed it was because I've always been so gifted at Legilemency."
"Does he know?" she asked. She felt him nod. "How?"
"Remember," he said softly.
"He was the one who Obliviated everyone," she quickly replied, surprising herself.
The memory came back quickly. She had been stretched out, bare from head to toe, resting her back against Severus' equally naked front. He was quietly brushing her hair, something they both enjoyed. Tears ran from her eyes, knowing what she had to do would be devastating to all involved. She knew with every passing day she was toying with time but she had chosen to be selfish for a few extra months. She told herself it was only to be sure that everything would be alright, but the truth was that she wasn't ready to give Severus up. On the day she overheard him asking Lily to go ring shopping with him, she knew it was time.
"Severus," she said, his hands stilling in her hair at her tone, "I have to go."
It had taken him a long time to compose a response, but she had mercifully waited. "I do not want you to leave," he finally managed. "I do not want my life without you."
"Oh, Severus," she sighed, leaning into him as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, his face burying into her hair. "We knew this day would come. We talked about this a decade ago when I first came here."
"Danger is still lurking around the corner," he retorted.
She giggled through the tears that began to fall. "I don't want to be without you either."
"Then don't go." He had known begging was not attractive, but losing her was simply not an option. "You're doing no harm here."
"I can feel it," she admitted. "I feel out of place here now. I feel it in my bones, Sev. I can't stay here any longer. I've been ignoring it for a long while now. I don't belong here."
"You belong with me," he said thickly. "I feel that in my bones. Tell me you don't feel it."
"I can't," she whispered, turning her head to kiss his bicep.
"I love you," he breathed into her hair. "Please, my heart, don't go."
Hermione's breath hitched. They'd been calling each other 'my heart' for years and she knew he meant it, just as she did. She wondered if she would live through having to tell him goodbye.
"I love you, my heart," she managed between sobs.
He held her for hours, unashamedly crying with her until she finally quieted and wiggled herself free. She stared into his dark eyes, memorizing every part of him that she could. She dressed, as did he, without another word. Without thought, Severus grabbed her and pulled her into a crushing hug.
"I will never love another, Hermione. I will wait for you."
They had said it to each other a million times, but as the reality of it settled on her, she knew what needed to be done. She had pushed him back and forced herself to keep her composure. "No you will not." She continued quickly before he could interrupt. "Everyone who knows of my existence will be Obliviated. You'll think that someone named Harmony came and helped you but died at the end. You will have no recollection of me, Severus. It's better this way. You will eventually love another and I will go back to my time and surely I'll end up marrying Ron Weasley if things are still similar to my time before."
"You plan to erase my memories and marry another?" he asked incredulously. "How long have you planned this?"
The anger in his face nearly made her back down. But it was the best option. "I don't want this, Severus. I want to marry you." He blinked a few times, trying to keep back the emotion rising up in his chest. Hermione could no longer keep up the facade. "But I also know that I will eventually marry someone out of obligation and he's a very nice man, Severus. I don't belong with you anymore. I never really did. It's time. Dumbledore will be waiting for you."
Her lips were on his so fast he barely had time to react. It seemed that the moment he pressed back, she was turning away. He wanted to fight for her but the damage was done. Her words trumped his arguments and he was left standing there in the doorway, his mouth slightly agape with the words he was dying to tell her. He wanted to tell her that time could be damned. That he would go back with her. That he would not – could not – love another the way he loved her.
The room shifted back to present day.
"How long have you known?" Hermione asked.
"About a month ago I had the same dream of you I've had a hundred times and I finally broke down and went to Dumbledore. It took a lot of convincing but he confessed everything. I will never forget the first day I saw you walk into the Great Hall. I had to work very hard not to call you Harmony. You reminded me so much of her and slowly I began having dreams where you were Harmony. But in my adjusted memories I was not in a relationship with her. That was purely you in my dreams about the time you became of age."
"That would have been awkward had I been a child," she said with a laugh, not able to help it.
Severus chuckled. "I concur, my heart."
They both froze, a mutual pang to their chests causing them to pull away from one another. Severus recovered quickly and reached for her, grasping her hand and tugging her toward him. Hermione took a deep breath and finally turned to meet his eyes. She barely contained a sob as she stared into his eyes. It felt like she was seeing him for the first time all over. His hand gently caressed her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes hadn't been there before, but she found herself not really caring about the age on his face.
"I started really remembering things once you left Hogwarts," he continued. "I oddly missed you. I thought perhaps I was going insane but the dreams started coming on stronger and clearer. By the time you took your apprenticeship, I was certain that something happened long ago but it still wasn't completely clear until last month."
"I took potions nearly every night after I started my seventh year. I thought perhaps I just had a vivid dreaming life." They both smiled. "During my seventh year it became very scary. I began dreaming about our life together. It was mixed in with a different time frame as well. You were still my teacher but life was so different. It was terrifying. I felt much closer to Ron and Harry than they could every really understand because those dreams about nearly dying together felt so real."
"I had those dreams as well. I killed Dumbledore." She watched the hurt flicker in his eyes and gripped his hand. "Luckily the old bat is alive and well." She grinned as he rolled his eyes. "I feel like after I dreamt of a large battle at Hogwarts, different dreams started."
Hermione's bright eyes widened. "Same here! We finished the battle and next thing I knew I was back in time with you. You were so welcoming."
"I was not," he said with a sharp laugh. "You had to paralyze me and explain what was happening."
Severus watched as the memory came back to her. She giggled and it was the most beautiful sound in the world to him. On nights when he would drink a little too much by himself, he swore he could hear her laugh just before he passed out in his bed. He would never tell her about the two months he drank himself to sleep just to hear her. His eyes slid shut as her hand reached up to push his hair from his face. She looked at him the same way she had all those years ago. She looked no different to him but, knowing he had never been attractive in the first place, he must look like some old creep. He was nearly twenty years her senior now. However, the way she looked at him washed away all insecurities.
"Why now?" she asked, more to herself than him.
"Do you know what today is?" His mouth turned into a half grin. After a few minutes he caved. "Today was the day you left."
"I'm so sorry," she said instantly, tears coming back in full force. "I didn't want to leave you."
Severus took in a long breath. "I was going to ask you to marry me."
"I know," she replied softly. "I couldn't marry you when I knew I would have to leave."
"I would have waited an eternity for you. It did not matter to me."
"That's why I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine you wasting your life waiting for me to remember who you were."
"I did," he pointed out. With that, he took a step back and instantly felt empty without touching her. Her face fell and she tried to follow him but he lifted a hand to stop her. "I'm happy for you, Hermione. Ron seems like a decent man. You told me this is how it would be."
"I waited," Hermione blurted out. "I waited until he told me if we didn't marry we would break up. I didn't want to marry him. I didn't know what else to do, Severus. Harry and Ginny are so happy and have baby James. I was hoping marrying him would fill this void I've felt my entire life."
Severus stayed silent, not knowing what to say.
"Looking at you now, I know what I've waited for my whole life," she said with such emotion that he couldn't look away from her. She laughed lightly. "It sounds so cliché, doesn't it?" He smiled, not able to help it, and nodded. "I feel like I'm in some Muggle romance movie."
"I do as well. But at the end of the day, you're marrying another man."
A small smile appeared on her face, confusing him. He furrowed his brow as Hermione took the hand he had held out to stop her between both her hands and placed it against her face. She closed her eyes as his thumb unconsciously stroked her cheek.
"I broke it off."
Shock was an understated emotion. "What?" he finally managed, feeling twenty-five all over again.
"I put on the dress," she explained, "and felt horrible. Ron, being Ron, came to the door to get a peak at me and received quite the shock when I told him to come in. He wasn't in it either. He was having second thoughts and wanted reassurance. I obviously did not absolve them."
"You were crying when I came," he reminded her. "I thought they were happy tears."
She couldn't help but laugh. "I honestly was thinking about how bad I felt that Molly went through all this trouble. She gave me these hideous shoes and I still haven't told my family. Honestly, I was feeling terrible that I didn't want to marry him. I felt like I was letting so many people down by us calling it off. Ron is probably telling everyone now."
"I don't know what to say," he admitted.
So many feelings rushed into her at once and she nearly doubled over as the full realization of the entire situation came down on her.
Hermione was near hyperventilation but managed a single sentence - "Please...help me remember."
There was no turning back but neither one of them seemed to have a single hesitation as their lips met in the most familiar way. There had never been fireworks, nor were there any now, but my goodness did she feel like she had finally come home again. Severus' hands shook as they made their way into Hermione's hair, barely containing the moan rising up in him as she pressed against him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his middle, her head leaning back to give him better access to her mouth.
It felt like no time had passed between them as their tongues met in perfect sync. She fisted his black overcoat, her knees turning into jelly as they reacquainted themselves. Severus forced himself to break the kiss, feeling light headed and dizzy. Their foreheads met instantly and they both laughed.
"I have missed you," he murmured, gently kissing her nose, something she had always loved. "There's always been a part of me searching for you. I never..." He trailed off, not knowing how much he wanted to divulge to her just yet.
Hermione couldn't help but chuckle. "I missed you, too. A few days ago I would have never imagined you talking like this."
"I couldn't either," he replied with a laugh. "But here we are, love."
"What were you going to say?" she asked, curiosity getting the best of her.
Severus pulled back to look her in the eyes, but not putting any space between them. Even with the heels, she was a full head shorter than he was. He steeled himself, taking a moment to kiss her forehead, trying to get his thoughts together.
"I never saw anyone else. I went out with two different women but it never went past a first meeting. I can't even call them dates because it felt so off."
Hermione's eyes were saucers. "You never...you never slept with anyone?"
He shook his head. "No. I thought perhaps something was wrong with me, to be honest."
She surprised him by laughing. "Severus, I've only ever kissed Ron." The shock on his face made her laugh harder. "I wondered if I was a lesbian for awhile but women do nothing for me. I lied and told him I wanted to wait until marriage. But sometimes I would have dreams of you and I, and I would..."
"Go ahead," he encouraged when she trailed off.
"I would find my own release when I would wake up from certain dreams. Some days it was difficult to meet your eye in the hallways or at dinner."
"Oh, Hermione," he sighed, kissing her briefly. "I was in the exact situation."
A swell of emotions overtook her as memories continued to flicker in and out as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. She couldn't stop the next words that came out of her mouth even if she wanted to.
"I love you."
"And I love you," he replied instantly.
They both look mildly surprised but it felt so right that they didn't question it. Severus pressed her closer, loving the feel of her head against his chest and her hair tickling his nose as he breathed her in.
"What are you thinking about?" Hermione asked after an immeasurable amount of time.
"If it would be terrible of me to ask for your hand in marriage whilst you are in a wedding dress."
Hermione snorted. "Probably."
"I believe I'll wait then," he said decidedly.
"Not too long," she insisted.
Severus smiled and kissed her hair. "I won't," he promised. "I've waited far too long for that."
Hermione tightened her hold on him and closed her eyes. She knew in the next few hours she was going to have to mend the bridges that were surely on fire from her and Ron splitting up. It would look bad if Severus came into the picture so quickly but she honestly couldn't find a single part of herself that cared enough to keep their love quiet for long. She would have to be careful how she broached the subject with her family and friends, but as his scent filled her sinuses, she knew it would be so worth it. They had waited long enough and she knew without a single doubt that the only place she truly belonged was in his arms. But this time she was not planning on going anywhere.
A/N – Please remember to review! One word or a million, I appreciate any and all feedback! Thanks so much for reading and have a great day!