Of Mall Santas and Elves
By Cybra
To bizarro: Thank you for all of the lovely drawings you have drawn for me. And thanks for the great e-mail conversations you've let me have with you.
Disclaimer: The drawing this is based on belongs to bizarro. The series this is from belongs to Tom Warburton. I own nothing but the words on the page.
Chad hated his part-time job.
Not only did he have to dress up in that stupid red suit with that stupid hat but he also had to have the indignity of having a pillow stuffed up his shirt, an itchy fake beard, and small children sitting on his lap for pictures and telling him what they wanted for Christmas. It was definitely not worth minimum wage.
'If anybody I knew saw me wearing this—' Chad thought grumpily.
His thoughts were cut off by hysterical laughter. Horrifyingly familiar hysterical laughter.
'No. Oh, please no.'
He squeezed his eyes shut. If he did not see the boy in hysterics, then the boy was not there. Rather childish logic but it seemed to fit the situation nicely.
"Oh…dude!" managed to emerge from the laughter.
Seeing that his tormentor was not going to miraculously vanish, Chad moaned and opened his eyes.
His friend Kenny—who might not be his friend much longer at this rate—was doubled over, clutching his stomach. "The pain…!"
A quick glance showed no children or parents in sight, so Chad growled, "Shut up."
"A mall Santa! No wonder you wouldn't tell me where you worked!" Kenny gasped.
"Will you shut it?" Chad hissed, blushing horribly under the beard.
"Can I be your special helper, Santa?" Kenny teased.
Chad glared before grinning evilly. "Sure you can, little boy. Just dress like an elf."
To Chad's surprise, Kenny grinned back. "Be right back!"
The blond teen stared as his friend rushed into the costume shop.
'Weird. Guess he really likes jingle bell shoes.'
The mental image of Kenny in a Santa elf outfit made Chad snicker. At least he would not be alone in his humiliation.
A mother brought her little girl up to sit on "Santa's" lap.
Chad mentally sighed and forced what he hoped was a jolly look on his face. The well-rehearsed line came out with ease. "Ho ho ho! And what would you like for Christmas, little girl?"
The little girl opened her mouth, froze, stared at something just over his shoulder, and screamed.
The girl's mother scooped her up and swiftly carried her away, cooing reassurances.
'Do I really want to know?' Chad turned.
There stood Kenny, wearing a long black wig, pointed ears, green leggings, a green tunic, and brown shoes. A quiver filled with fake arrows matched the fake bow and arrow in his hand.
Chad opened and closed his mouth a few times before he scowled. "When I said, 'dress like an elf,' this really isn't what I had in mind."
Kenny cheekily drew back the arrow, a demented smile on his face. "Well, you should've been more specific."