April had noticed that Mark's mood had changed after seeing his ex-fiancée earlier in the day. The pair had gone to Heathrow and boarded their flight back to New York. Usually, Mark would do the gentlemanly thing and take the aisle seat, but this time he had asked April if she minded if he sat by the window. "Of course not, Darling," she had said.
They had been flying for almost two hours when she decided she had had enough of the silent treatment. "Mark, seeing Hyacinth really did a number on you. Talk to me about it. Please."
Mark stopped looking out the window and took his partner's hand in his. "It's not what you think, Luv. Seeing Hyacinth isn't what sent me into the doldrums. I'm over her. That's why I enjoyed twisting the knife telling her it was our anniversary. But seeing her did remind me of the lowest point of my life. After I saw her with that guy, I was devastated. I was embarrassed that I had even considered taking her back, but I loved her so much that I didn't think I could love anyone else or anything else. I was in so much emotional pain…" He fell silent for so long that April decided to say something, but before she could, he cleared his throat. "I seriously considered taking my own life."
April was shocked. "What? Why?"
"Because I had all these dreams of what my life with Hyacinth would be. We'd start our married life in a flat, 'ave a baby, move into a house, 'ave more children. We'd be so 'appy. When I realized how deceitful she had been, I walked out of that pub and went to the BT Tower. It was still under construction and I slipped into the site and climbed up close to the top with the intention of throwing myself down to the ground."
April tightened her grip on her partner's hand. "Good God! How did no one see you?"
"Work was finished for the day, the place was deserted. As I climbed, I kept thinking that I would never see those dreams come true and that thought was killing me. I remember crying as I went higher because I knew I was at the end of my life."
"Just a moment, Darling." She signaled for a stewardess and when one came, she ordered double scotches for both of them. She handed one to Mark and took the other. "Sorry, Darling, but I thought you could use a drink."
"Thank you, April."
"Well, it's obvious you didn't throw yourself off the building, so what happened?"
"Like I said, I was crying when I got up high enough and I stopped to rest. I wanted to get myself back under control and I know this sounds crazy, but I didn't want my body found with tears on my face. Anyway, as I was sitting there, the full moon started to rise and it was so beautiful, I found myself enthralled. As I watched, a sense of peace came over me and I began to remember that I had other dreams. Things like making a difference in the world and making it a safer place. I sat there for almost three hours just looking at the moon. After that, I climbed down, went home to bed and got up the next day with a new attitude."
April leaned against him and he put his arm around her shoulders. The alcohol was making both of them sleepy. As she settled against him she said, "I'm surprised that you got accepted by UNCLE with that in your background."
"It's not in my background. They don't know. Nobody knew. I have never spoken of this before to anyone. You're the only one who knows how close I came to the abyss."
She placed a hand on his face and pulled it close to kiss his cheek. "I am so honored, Mark, that you trust me enough to tell me this and I will take your secret to my grave."
He adjusted his position and touched his chin to the top of her head. "I know, Luv. Let's get some sleep."