I decided to post a one-shot, after my very long absence of the site... Not that I'm not writing anything, I'm just not posting anything. I wrote this back at the beginning of June, when I just got my new laptop, got all hyped up and wrote about 30K that month. I just wanted to leave something behind before I go on vacation at the end of the week (and possibly write lots more), and this is it. I could rant and rave about a lot of things right now, but I'll leave it at this (for the moment).

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Naruto. This is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.

Declarations of Love



Dear bastard, the first letter started, I hate you. Love, your idiot.

And that, dear people, is how the love/hate relationship between one Uzumaki Naruto and one Uchiha Sasuke began. Not that either of them were aware of it, but there were plenty of signs that pointed out to other people (read: their stalker friends) that they had a different kind of relationship than anyone else in their group.

Naruto received his first letter from Sasuke just one day after he'd sent his own. Dear idiot, it read, I hate you too. Love, your bastard.

Though this might be more of a declaration of hate to most people, their close friends understood that this was their way of saying 'I love you' – though even they admitted it was kind of retarded. Even so, they still set up blind dates for the two, leaving them to wonder who the hell had gone and replaced the other, because, you know, since when did Sasuke give up his life-long goal of killing Itachi just to be with some blond idiot? And since when did Naruto declare he loved Sasuke more than he loved ramen? There was more than enough to talk about in their next letter, but unfortunately, neither of them was used to using a lot of words so they kept it small.

Dear bastard, I don't think I've seen this side of you before. It actually scares me. Can't you just go back to being the bastard you were before? Love, your idiot. PS. If I mean more to you than your brother, does that mean you'll kill me too?

Dear idiot. One: I have no idea what you're talking about. Two: I am and always will be a bastard. Period. Love, your bastard. PS. Itachi means more to me you currently. Maybe that'll change when he's dead, but not before that. Though the thought that you like me more than your ramen slightly freaks me out. Does that mean you'd eat me if you had no other choice but to revert to cannibalism?

Okay, so the responses were (slightly) disappointing to the newly formed fan club to get Naruto and Sasuke together, but they weren't giving up just yet, nor were they planning to anytime soon.

Soon enough, both Naruto and Sasuke found themselves in awkward positions they couldn't even remember getting into. It resulted in much stuttering, blushing and embarrassment. And still, there was no confession.

Dear idiot, I'm getting tired of this. I like to spar with you because you are a fair opponent to me, but lately that doesn't seem to be what you're focused on. Until you get your mind of the gutter (which might take a while, because it's you), I'll spar with someone else in the mean time. Love, your bastard.

Dear bastard, what the heck do you mean? My mind does not need out-of-the-gutter taking, obviously that's you. I know I'm the idiot here, but I swear that does accidents that have been happening are not my fault. It's almost like someone set them up… Love, your idiot. PS. So now that we got that solved, we can spar, right?

To everyone else, it seemed as if they didn't take the hint. At all. Maybe it was because they were boys, and boys were usually oblivious to that kind of thing, at least, that was what the girls thought. The boys themselves… Just as clueless as ever. So they decided it was time for desperate measures.They set up everything they needed in their rooms, and all they had to do now was wait until the two boys came home and see what their reactions were.

Dear bastard, if I didn't know any better, I could actually swear you were hitting on me, but since it's you I can't really believe it, even if all the evidence points towards it. Is there something you want to tell me? Love, your idiot. PS. I promise I won't be freaked out if you say you are.

Dear idiot, you are the only one that can make your namesake proud. You are an idiot. I don't feel like that towards you, despite what your evidence says. In fact, I doubt I'll ever feel that way. Why are you being so confusing? Why can't anything involving you ever be easy? Love, your bastard.

The fan club silently cheered, they were finally making progress! Both boys were confused, not just about themselves, but also about each other, about their feelings and about what they were supposed to do. It wouldn't take long anymore until they had to admit their feelings for each other, they just knew it.

They smirked at each other, knowing that their next plan had to work. It wasn't that brilliant, but they just had no other options left, and this needed to be done with. Operation get Naruto and Sasuke together would finally start.

Dear idiot, you are impossible. You didn't seem to have done anything, but why are you still running through my mind like that? You are obnoxious, loud, and annoying, but why do you fascinate me like this? Maybe you were right after all… (Is that a bad thing?) Maybe I do have a thing for you, no matter how odd it sounds. Love, your bastard.

Dear bastard, you telling me I'm right is quite the honor, I can assure you of that. However, the reason for it surprised me, I didn't expect you would actually tell me you liked me like that. To be honest, I have to say I kind of like you like that too. I didn't want to tell you, for the same reason you probably didn't want to tell me. Just so you know, I still think you're mean and cold-hearted, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. Love, your idiot.

The group high fived and grinned at each other. Whatever it was that had convinced the two to admit they liked each other, at least they had done their job and gotten the two together. When they heard some knocking on the door, Sakura rushed to the door and opened it, smiling at the two boys. "Hey guys," she said, "come in." She stepped aside to let them in. They all tried not to grin when they entered the living room, but failed miserably.

"Is something funny?" Naruto asked as he raised his eyebrows and glanced around the room.

"No, no, not at all," Sakura quickly said and ushered them to the centre of the room. "You said you had something to tell us, right? Well, now's your chance!"

Uncomfortable, the two glanced around for a bit until Naruto cleared his throat and everyone paid attention again. "Uh, well," he started, and Sasuke shook his head in exasperation. "There's something important that me and Sasuke have to tell you," he said, clearly nervous. Sakura almost felt sorry for him. "Well," he started again, "me and Sasuke, we're kind of… together. Like in a relationship." He fell silent, then, very sudden, everyone started cheering, and they glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. "Did I say something weird?" Naruto asked, but Sasuke just shrugged. And that, my dear people, is how this story ends: happily ever after. Well, hopefully, anyway.