BLOODLINES
By Nettie
Mac and Harm sat in his office going over the finer points of their performances in the Doyle Case which had concluded that morning with a win to Mac. Harm conceded Mac had made some excellent defence arguments but insisted his was a stronger case and except for an overly sympathetic jury he would have won. He had said it all in good humour and delivered it with one of his brightest smiles. Mac accepted his comments with all the seriousness they deserved by poking her tongue out at him.
They both laughed heartily, enjoying the resurrection of the closeness in their relationship. It had been a long time since they had felt so comfortable in each other's presence. For all their wishful thinking about being with each other, life seemed to continually get in the way. Paraguay had nearly destroyed their relationship and these last few weeks were the first signs all was not lost.
General Cresswell had noticed the change in rapport between his two officers and took the opportunity to separate them. He summoned Mac to his office and informed her she was going to the Seahawk on investigation. Mac took it in her stride, going away was nothing new and she had spent so much time on the Seahawk it felt like a second home. She said goodbye and left for home to collect her things.
The first thing Harm knew of something going wrong was when he arrived home after visiting the gym. It was a short message on his home phone, left not ten minutes earlier, that sent his heart racing and his world crumbling. He played it three times:
Harm, it's Mac. Just calling to ask you to follow up on Corporal Rockwell's statement for …no…no…Arghhh…the helos out of control. The distinctive sounds of the helo crashing came from the answering machine, then people screaming drowned out her voice and the line went dead.
Harm dived on the phone and called Mac's cell. The first time he got through and left a frantic message. Mac, are you alright? Call me. Please call me. Mac? The second time he called he was told the phone was out of range or switched off and could leave no message. He dialled the General's direct line and had to leave a message with his service. General, Commander Rabb, desperately seeking information in regards to Colonel MacKenzie and possible helo crash this afternoon. Please call me ASAP.
Harm dialled a range of numbers at a frenetic pace and left messages everywhere. He managed to get through to Sturgis and Bud but neither had received word of the crash and were distressed by the news he relayed. All three returned to JAG Headquarters and were met by the General who had been contacted through official channels.
They sat silently in the General's office as he explained that the helo carrying Mac and seven others had crashed into the side of the Seahawk. There were two confirmed fatalities and three survivors who had been retrieved from the ocean with moderate to severe injuries.
"And Mac?" asked Harm, his heart in his mouth.
"As yet the Colonel's status has not been confirmed," the General said plainly.
"Permission to go to …" Harm began.
"Permission denied," the General interjected.
"But sir…" he protested.
"Commander Rabb, the Seahawk is not in a position to accept any inward flights. As an aviator, you should know better than anyone else the sort of damage a helo crash can cause to the running of a ship. They will dispatch but not accept flights for the next 24 hours at least. There is nothing you can do either here or there, so I suggest you all go home and I will inform you of any developments."
Sturgis and Bud could see the logic in the General's suggestion but Harm was reluctant. He could not accept he was helpless. Bud offered to drive him home but he refused. Sturgis was more insistent but got the same result. Finally, after some stern words from the General and a further promise to call with any information, Harm drove himself.
He had been sitting in his apartment for nearly thirty minutes dialling Mac's home and cell phones alternatively. He left repeated messages on her home phone but still couldn't do so on her cell. It was nearly 2000 when Jen knocked on his door startling him. He jumped up and threw the door open.
"Oh Jen, it's you."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, sir," said Jen sadly.
"No, Jen, I didn't mean it that way," Harm said ushering her in. He then proceeded to inform her of the events of the evening and instantly she understood his mood.
"Well, sir, it's not the Colonel but I have something in my apartment to cheer you up," she grinned.
"What is it?" he questioned bluntly.
"Just you wait there and I'll get it," Jen replied, heading out the door.
Harm could hear the opening and closing of doors and other muffled sounds but he wasn't in any mood for guessing games, so he sat and waited.
Before long Jen reappeared at his door and said brightly, "Sir, hopefully this will help."
She stood aside and Sergei walked in. "Hello brother," he said.
Harm jumped up from his chair and embraced his younger sibling.
"Sergei, how are you? What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming? How long are you here for?" he questioned.
"Whoa brother, one question at a time!" Sergei smiled, holding his hands up.
"Sorry, I'm just so glad to see you," Harm apologised.
"Jennifer told me about the Colonel, I am sorry. I'm sure she'll be okay," he said, patting his brother's arm.
"Yeah," he sighed unconvinced.
Jennifer took the opportunity to leave the men alone. "Goodnight sir, if you hear anything about the Colonel please let me know. Goodnight Sergei, see you tomorrow."
"Jen, thank you, this has certainly cheered me up. Night," replied Harm.
"Goodnight Jennifer, sleep well," added Sergei, smiling broadly.
The men sat and chatted a while before the phone rang. It was the General to say that all eight helo passengers had been accounted for and, although not officially confirmed, he believed that Mac was still amongst the living, though her injuries were not yet ascertained. The news brought relief to Harm; he had been longing to hear those words.
"Brother, I'm glad the news looks good for you, for your Colonel," Sergei said. "She is a wonderful woman."
"That she is, little brother, that she is."
When the relief at Mac's survival sunk in, Harm actually took the time to notice his brother's demeanour. He looked tired and lethargic. "Sergei, you look exhausted. Let me make up the sofa."
"I'm not that tired, Harm. I'm just …" Sergei looked at him sadly.
"You're just what?" he prompted.
"I'm sorry to do this to you now, especially when I know you are so worried about your Colonel but…" he began, his hands twisting in his lap.
"Don't worry about anything else, what's wrong?" he prompted once more.
Sergei looked at Harm and then dropped his head.
"Sergei, speak to me," Harm pleaded.
"Brother, to answer your questions from earlier, I have been a little unwell lately. I am here for medical tests. I didn't tell you because it has all happened very quickly and I don't know how long I will need to stay," he sighed.
"What are they looking for?" Harm asked, moving forward in his chair.
"The initial diagnosis was ambiguous but the doctor in Chechnya thought a full medical work up and treatment here would be more advantageous to my long term health," he reported.
"Sergei, what do they think is wrong?" Harm asked once more, not liking the way this conversation was going.
"They say I have leukaemia, brother."
And for the second time that day Harm felt his world crumbling.
The next few days past in a blur of phone calls, messages and tests. Harm was relieved, after a trying day at the hospital with Sergei, to find several messages on his home and cell phones from Mac.
Harm, I hope you've heard that all is okay with me. Call me.
Harm, just letting you know I'm doing okay. Call me.
Harm, having trouble locating you. Please call me.
He smiled to himself, the General had told him about twenty four hours after the accident that Mac had been found floating in the ocean about 150m from the Seahawk. She had minor injuries and was suffering from exposure. She had been quite shaken by the experience but, all things considered, was doing well.
He had wanted to fly to the Seahawk there and then but knew he could do more for Sergei than he could for Mac. He reluctantly told the General that he thought Bud should go in his place because there were more pressing concerns at home he had to deal with. This news came as a surprise to both the General and Sturgis who had been present at the time. They both believed the Commander would have swum out to the Seahawk on his own if it meant getting to Mac.
"What's up, buddy?" asked Sturgis as they departed the General's office. Harm continued to walk on. Sturgis grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"Harm, what is it?" Sturgis was insistent.
Quietly, Harm explained to Sturgis the situation with Sergei and made him promise to keep it to himself. Sergei was not a US citizen and that could have implications in getting the best possible treatment, Harm was busy trying to make some arrangements and didn't want it compromised. Sturgis promised.
Unbeknown to the pair, Jennifer had overheard part of the exchange. She went into the General, feigned illness and was sent home early. She used her key to get into the Commander's apartment and found Sergei asleep on the bed. Quietly, she sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him to wake up. Jen softly stroked his hair and then held his hand. Sergei began to stir and smiled when he saw her there. "Ah, my beautiful Jennifer, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?"
"I came to see you. I overhead your brother say you were sick. Are you alright? Why didn't you tell me?" she questioned, as tears filled her eyes.
Sergei sat up and hugged her tightly. "I was going to tell you, I just couldn't find the right words."
Sergei and Jennifer had developed a rather keen interest in each other during one of his visits about eight months ago. They had kept in contact via the phone and emails and had made time for each other on his two other trips to the US in the interim. They had not told Harm, at the time, as they didn't feel there was anything to tell.
"Tell me now," she asked gently.
And he did.
When Harm arrived home his first point of call was to Jen's apartment. She was sitting on the sofa watching television.
"How are you feeling, Petty Officer?" he asked from her doorway.
"Okay, sir," she replied, without breaking her gaze from the screen.
"Petty Officer?"
"I'm alright, sir," she said, looking at him but was unconvincing.
"You sure? You don't seem yourself," he said, moving into her apartment.
"I'm sure, I'm just a little …I don't know," she sighed, turning her attention back to the screen.
Harm sat beside her. "A little what?"
"A little sad, a little scared," she whispered, dropping her head.
"Of what?" Harm had not been expecting her response.
"About your brother having leukaemia," she admitted.
"How…how did you find out?" he asked.
"It doesn't matter," she replied. "Is Sergei going to be alright?" she looked up at him with pleading eyes.
"I'm going to do everything I can to help him."
It was Thursday morning and Harm was spending the day at the hospital awaiting the results of his blood tests. The hospital had confirmed that Sergei had leukaemia and now it was Harm's turn to wait and see if he was a match to be a bone marrow donor. Jennifer was at work and took a call for Harm in his absence. It was a very bad line but through the static she could make out some of the words. It was Mac.
"Petty Officer, it's Colonel MacKenzie, I've been trying to get hold of Commander Rabb and had no result. I was hoping this would work," Mac said.
Due to the poor quality of the line, all Jen managed to catch clearly was the "Colonel", "Commander Rabb", "result" and "hoping."
"Colonel, the Commander is still at the hospital waiting for the test results from Oncology. They should be back sometime today but we are keeping our fingers crossed for some positive results."
The Colonel had heard most of it crystal clear before the line dropped out. She was shattered.
Mac went to find Bud to ask him about Harm but he was in a meeting with the XO. She interrupted and in hushed whispers asked him about Harm, he said he knew nothing and so she asked him to conclude the loose ends in her case and he agreed. Mac made her goodbyes to the Captain; he again sought reassurance that she had no long term effects from the accident and then made the necessary arrangements for her departure.
Mac commenced the long trip back heavy of heart and lacking in spirit. She had not yet got over her own near death experience and now she faced dealing with Harm's battle. Her thoughts were hazy and incomplete but as the plane made its way back to mainland USA she mentally made a list of the regrets she would have in her life if her time had of come. The list was shorter than she thought it would be but the first few regrets were intrinsically linked.
Harm, meanwhile, was at home oblivious to the fact that Mac was making her way back to him. He sent her a few text messages after Sergei had gone to bed for the night and settled back on the sofa feeling rather despondent. The test results had not been available that day due to a pathology foul up and so the painful waiting continued. Jen opened his apartment door quietly and asked how Sergei was.
"Coping better than I am with the delay," Harm answered, fatigue etched on his face.
"Won't be long, sir. Hang in there," Jennifer encouraged.
"I will, Jen, I don't have much choice," he smiled wistfully.
"The Colonel called today and I told her you were waiting for your results," she reported, pleased she could contribute something to ease his load.
"You did what?" Harm said, getting to his feet.
"I told her… you…" she stammered.
"She doesn't know anything about Sergei. I couldn't even get hold of her to see how she was after her accident, let alone dump this on her, for God's sake, Jennifer," he exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, sir, I thought I was doing the right thing. She had said something about you and results and…" Jennifer apologised.
"Said something? What do you mean?" he probed.
"It was a really bad line, sir, and I couldn't make out all that she said," she admitted.
"Was Mac clear that it is Sergei who is ill and not me?" he asked, his eyes widening at the thought Mac only had half the story.
"I don't know, sir," she admitted quietly.
"So, on top of her nearly dying on Monday, she could now be thinking that I am?" he said, shaking his head.
"Sir, I'm sorry. I just…, sir, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?" she offered nervously.
"I think you should go," Harm said, moving towards the door.
"Sir, please?"
"Petty Officer, just go."
Harm again attempted to contact Mac but it was to no avail. Nearing midnight he tried her cell phone again on the off chance it was back on and in range. He heard the ringing in the receiver and also thought he heard ringing close by. He jumped up and opened the door and Mac threw her arms around his neck.
"Harm, oh I am so glad to see you," she sobbed into his chest.
"Mac, are you okay?" he asked lifting her chin.
On impulse she pulled his head towards her and kissed him passionately. If the week had taught her anything it was that life was short and she should make the most of opportunities presented to her – this was such an opportunity. To her immense relief Harm responded accordingly. When she finally broke away, he gently stroked her face.
"Mac, hi there, I think I need to explain," he soothed.
"No, you don't. I know it's Sergei who's ill and I'm so sorry but I am also very glad that it's not you." She hugged him again.
"How do you know?" he asked as he rested his forehead on hers.
"A friend called."
"A friend?"
"Yes, a friend." She took his hand and led him to Jen's apartment and knocked.
Jen opened the door and it was obvious to both she had been crying.
"Jennifer, are you okay?" Mac asked sympathetically.
"Yes, ma'am, again, I just need to say how very, very sorry I am to you, to both of you," she apologised.
"Jennifer, as we have already discussed it's okay," Mac consoled her. "Your heart was in the right place and …"
"Yeah, but again my mouth gets me into trouble," she sighed.
"It's okay, Jen, really it is. Now, get some sleep."
Harm and Mac made their way back to his apartment and she sat down next to him on the sofa. He tenderly touched the thin laceration that crossed her cheek, a legacy of the crash.
"Harm, it doesn't hurt. I was bit shaken and a bit wet but I am okay, truly," she said.
"I don't know what I would do if …" he began.
"Don't go there. I'm here, I'm okay. Now, how are you?" she asked, her hand rubbing along his forearm.
"Much better now that you're here," he smiled.
"How are you about Sergei?" she asked, holding onto his arm.
"That is a different matter. I guess I'm okay. I don't have a choice," he admitted, leaning back on the sofa.
"When do you find out the results?" she asked, turning more to face him.
"Hopefully in the morning," he replied, stifling a yawn.
"What are the chances of you being compatible?" she questioned.
"As we never had a definitive DNA test the chance of us being compatible by blood are no greater than two complete strangers but there's always hope," he said, smiling wearily at her.
"Are you going to be alright if you're not a match?" she asked, knowing he wouldn't be.
"Don't know."
Mac leant back on the sofa, emotionally and physically exhausted.
"Can I get you anything?" he asked as he entwined his fingers through hers.
"No, I just need to sleep," Mac said struggling to her feet.
"Where do you think you're going?" Harm said pulling her back down to him.
"I need to go home and sleep. It's well after midnight and I'm exhausted," she admitted, yawning.
"That's right, you're exhausted and not in any state to drive," he reminded her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"What do you suggest, Commander?" she smiled, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Sleep here, take the sofa," he offered.
"That's very generous of you but with Sergei asleep in your bed and me here, where do you plan on sleeping?" she asked, not wanting to move from where she was.
"I'll take the armchair," he suggested.
"You won't be comfortable," she told him as he disentangled himself and headed to the closet.
"I'll cope. Let me get some blankets and pillows," he said.
Harm opened the closet and pulled out required bedding. When he made his way back to Mac, she was already asleep. He placed the pillow on the sofa and gently eased her down. He grabbed the blanket and spread it out on top of her. Unable to resist, he bent down and kissed her forehead. Mac opened her eyes. "Goodnight Harm," she whispered.
"Oh, I didn't mean to wake you, I just…" he began.
"It's okay." She closed her eyes and sleep came quickly, even if it was brief.
It had just gone 0200 when Mac awoke to the sound of Harm tossing and turning in the chair. Try as he may he couldn't get comfortable. She eased herself up on one elbow and called him.
"Harm."
"Why are you awake, Mac? Something wrong? Are you alright?" he questioned, sitting up.
"I'm fine but are you? You're tossing and turning over there," she commented.
"Sorry, you were right about it being uncomfortable. I didn't mean to wake you," he apologised tugging on a blanket.
"That's alright but could you come over here for a minute?" she asked.
Harm jumped up. "What is it?"
"Come lie here with me. You'll find it more comfortable." She smiled, patting the sofa beside her.
"Oh, uh, are you sure?"
"Yeah."
After much movement and redistribution of bedding, Harm slipped onto the sofa and Mac lay down in front of him, his arm around her waist securing her. Sleep then came quickly for the pair and a night of blissful slumber ensued. Mac awoke to the sound of someone moving in the apartment. She opened her eyes and made out Sergei moving to the door.
"Good morning, Sergei," she said in barely a whisper.
"Morning, Colonel," he said moving towards her and sitting on the coffee table.
"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked.
"I'm doing well, Colonel and how are you after your accident?" he answered.
"A few bumps and scratches and a huge fright but I'm good," she smiled, feeling very well at this moment.
"I'm so glad. I think my brother has enough to worry about with me at the moment," he admitted.
"You know if there's anything …" she began.
"I'll let you know," he answered before pausing. "Actually, there is one thing you can do for me."
"Anything, just name it," Mac replied.
"Look after Harm."
"You've got it," Mac said as she looked at Harm sleeping soundly beside her. She raised her hand and caressed Harm's cheek.
"I'm going to go and leave you two too it," Sergei said, laughing quietly.
"Where are you going to at this time on a Friday morning? It's 0537," she asked, surprised.
"I'm having a breakfast coffee with a friend. I'll be gone for about an hour and a half, so if you want to make use of the bed, you …" he explained.
"Sergei!" Mac protested.
"I just meant it would be more comfortable and…" he began to explain.
"It's okay, Sergei. Go get your coffee. Anyway, who's your friend? Someone special?" she asked, noting the smile in his eyes.
"Ah, no, maybe yes. She's just a friend at this stage and I think I need all the friends I can get," he answered.
"Well, go and have fun," she said.
"I will," he whispered.
Sergei quietly closed the door but did catch Mac's last comment.
"Say hi to Jennifer for me." How did she know? he thought to himself as he crossed the hallway.
Mac adjusted herself on the sofa very carefully. Sergei's offer of the bed sounded good but the cramped sofa with Harm in such close proximity was much better. She pulled the blanket up and gently rolled into Harm, placing her head on his chest and an arm around his waist, she wasn't wasting any more opportunities. The new sleeping arrangement and the nearness of Mac was enough to wake him. He leant forward and kissed her head without thinking. There had been so many nights he had dreamt about sleeping with her that waking up with her in his arms seemed perfectly normal. The kiss was an expression of that normality.
"Hi there, Harm," she said, looking up into his blue eyes.
"Hi yourself, did you sleep well?" he asked, sleepily.
"Yeah, I did, you? she asked, nestling further down.
"Better here than in the armchair," he admitted.
"I told you so," she laughed, and poked her tongue out.
He went to tickle her and she squealed.
"Shhh, Mac!" he whispered.
"Shhh?"
"I just don't want to wake Sergei. He needs his rest," he explained.
"That's very noble of you but Sergei's not here," Mac answered.
"He's not. Where is he?" Harm asked concerned, trying to sit up.
"Whoa!" said Mac, pushing him back. "He's gone for coffee with a friend."
"A friend? What friend?" he questioned.
"Harm relax, Sergei is fine. He's a big boy and he can go out for coffee without a chaperone," she said, in his defence.
"But he's sick," he protested.
"He's not gone far and he's with a friend. Now, relax okay," she soothed, patting his chest.
"But…" he began to protest.
"Harm, I…" Mac started but then stopped.
"What?" he questioned.
"Can we talk about something else for a minute?" she asked quietly.
"Sure, what is it?" he asked, noting the concern in her eyes.
"You haven't mentioned that kiss in the doorway yesterday," she started.
"Neither have you." He brushed the hair from her forehead.
"I thought my actions spoke volumes," she said, a smile playing on her lips.
"Maybe you need to turn it up a bit," he grinned.
Mac took the hint and kissed him again, long and passionately.
"Hear it that time?" she asked.
"Loud and clear, ma'am." He leant down and kissed her. In a shifting of bodies and an attempt to find a comfortable position, Mac fell from the sofa and hit her head on the corner of the coffee table.
"Oh Mac, are you okay?" Harm said looking over the side of the sofa.
"Yeah, no real damage," she said rubbing the back of her head. "Sergei was right though."
"About what?" he asked.
"He said we would be more comfortable if we shifted to the bed," she explained, sitting up.
"When did he say that?" Harm asked.
"This morning on his way out," she answered.
"And he said what exactly?" he probed.
"That we should make use of the bed, it would be more comfortable," she replied grinning.
"He didn't, did he?" Harm shook his head.
"He knows what he is talking about. It would have been more comfortable than this."
Harm helped Mac back onto the sofa. "So," he said unsure of how to proceed.
"So," she echoed.
After a short pause, Mac decided to push matters along.
"Well, Harm, Sergei will be back in 56 minutes. If there is anything you want to do with me in the interim, I'd suggest you get started."
Harm was stunned. After all the missed chances in their nine year relationship, after guarded words and leading questions, Mac had stated things plain and simply. He didn't need to be prompted further. He took her in his arms and made love to her there and then on the sofa.
As they were both laying there trying to catch their breath, Harm heard Mac say, "Well, that's one off the list."
"Huh?" he asked seeking clarification.
"Oh, I said one off the list," she replied.
"And what list would that be?" he asked, confused.
"After the accident I was pretty shell shocked, I mean I honestly thought I was going to die. That night on the Seahawk I found it hard to sleep as my mind was racing with thoughts about my life and what I had and hadn't achieved. On the way back to you last night I made a list of the regrets I would have had if I had died because I hadn't taken the opportunities presented," she explained.
"And this was on your list?" he asked, pride filling his heart.
"Yep," she nodded.
"Was it number one on your list?" he asked hopefully.
"No, it was number two," Mac said seriously.
"Oh," replied Harm somewhat disappointed. "So, can I ask you what number 1 was?"
"This!" She kissed him again and then held his face in her hands, "Harmon Rabb, I love you."
"I love you too, Sarah." He kissed her back. "You know something – that would have been number one on my list too."