"Curiosities of the Lawless"
A Harry Potter Fanfiction
by Delphia
characters and original concept © J.K. Rowling
No infringement intended, no money made; these are not my characters.
One spectacle Slytherins love to see is Gryffindors losing. Those Slytherins who are more concerned with their image refrain from the cliched rubbing of their hands together with malicious glee, but the rest still do it, only it's where everyone else can't see. The Slytherin motto is sinister: to look it, act it, and be it.
The looks on the Gryffindors' faces when they've been beaten are quite pleasing, especially when it's from our doing. They're always so sure they're going to win, if only their Golden Boy leads them on their blessed way. Their faith in him never fails to astound.
It's not because we're Slytherins that we see his faults; it's because we're human. Just like he is. A boy with an idiotically confused look permanently etched onto his face could hardly be the saviour of the world they think him to be. Confusion is not the force of good that the world will soon need. Any dolt can see that, but then, the Gryffindors are a doltish lot.
Evil doesn't make a Slytherin think like that; brains do. Of course, Slytherin House has had its share of inherent evil pass through, but that's not a reason to categorize the rest of its members as the same. It's just that we're open to possibilities. We don't blindly jump into things, we don't blunder around forever trying to make a decision, and we aren't obsessed with practically reasoning everything out. The uncertainty of our next actions makes our house intimidating.
The mixture of options is good if you're the one who has it. Otherwise, most people will fixate on one characteristic they don't agree with. Like "cunning". Trust the school's own Sorting Hat to use the most unsavory adjectives possible when describing the least popular house. Cunning is hardly a bad trait to possess.
A true Slytherin can get what he or she wants just by persuading people to see things from his or her point of view. It can come in handy, any of us will tell you. Even the dumbest kids in the school can be used to your advantage. Need the opposing team's Seeker to be out of commission for a bit? Not a problem.
"Crabbe, Goyle, do you know why you're failing Potions?"
Two identical shakes of the head. "Well, it's all because of that idiot Harry Potter. If Professor Snape wasn't so busy reprimanding Potter for his stupidity, he would have time to help you two pass."
Two identical looks of slowly dawning realization. "Well, what are you waiting for? Doesn't Potter need to be punished?"
Two identical sounds of knuckles cracking.
And it's that easy.
Need a little more time to study for the insanely difficult Transfiguration final? Last year, we picked an unfortunate first-year to confiscate a Time-Turner from McGonagall's office. Older Slytherins use it all the time. Besides, if we can't manipulate time, what can we do?
Some of the younger Slytherins are still concerned with doing everything truthfully. They do things like showing that they're smarter than certain Gryffindors by getting good marks. Well, bullocks to that, the rest of us say. If you want to prove that you're smarter than someone, our way is to pull something underhanded and tricky to mess up their marks. If it's something that they don't see coming, the only thing they'll feel afterwards is stupidity and shame.
Rounding up a group of Slytherins to go Hufflepuff Hunting is one of the most amusing activities used to pass the time. Again, the looks on their faces! The little bugger knows you're not going to be nice, he knows he's going to get pushed around, and he knows the hexes are going to be coming his way. Yet he doesn't run! A Hufflepuff usually gets frozen in the moment, and that's what makes them such easy prey. It's quite amusing to see what you can end up with: an ickle first year with green skin and leeks sprouting out of his ears is sure to startle old Pomfrey.
We lie, cheat, and steal, but only when impunity is a sure thing. We play dirty whether we need to or not, because where's the excitement in clean game? We harass little children for the fun of it. We can talk our way out of anything we get into. We do what we want, and there isn't anybody stopping us.
Slytherins don't just do things when they can see what's in it for them. Actually, well, we probably do. But who's to say we shouldn't have a bit of underhanded fun along the way?