"It's obvious! My culture is better because I'm the real China!"
"Really? You don't even have fortune cookies!"
"There's a very good reason for that!"
"Grrr!"
"Rrrrr!"
Yao and Mei stared each other down for a moment, and in no time were fighting each other. The fight went down to the floor and saw the two holding each other and rolling around.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Alfred ran over and managed to separate the two. "What is going on here? I don't need another Arthur and Francis!"
"We're fighting about which of us is the better China!" Yao huffed and crossed his arms. "It shouldn't even be a debate. Everyone knows I'm the one and only, real China."
"Okay, well, there's only one way to solve this issue."
"Going to war? Try me, Yao." Mei growled some more.
"That's not what I mean. What we need to do… is have you two play a six-game chess match."
"How will that—"
"Stop questioning me! You don't question things for the way they are, Yao," Alfred interjected, poking Yao in the chest. "You cross me and I'll bankrupt you faster than you can say, 'Marx'."
"Chess, Alfred?" Mei tilted her head. "Wouldn't it make more sense to play xiangqi? It's our chess."
"… no?" He raised an eyebrow. "Do you agree, or not?"
"Will you bankrupt her faster than she can say, 'pig'?" Yao wondered.
"You're avoiding my question."
"And you're avoiding mine!"
"Objection!"
Yao stared, dumbfounded and bewildered.
"Okay!" Alfred clapped his hands. "It's on! Mei, I'll be your second."
"My second?"
"To help you prepare your openings and tactics and strategies and all."
"H-huh, what? How's that fair?" Yao protested.
"Dude, you get a second, too."
He grinned. "Then I pick Ivan! Ivan is better than you in chess, anyways!"
"Debatable." Alfred shrugged. "But not really. (I'm better.) Either way, this is about which of you two is stronger, not about Ivan and me." He turned to Mei. "So, let's go?"
Mei nodded, smiling warmly. "Let's."
I'm excited! I hope you are, too!