A/N: So I heard the lair in the live-action KP 2019 movie only has one bed, ho ho ho.
Two's a Crowd
"What are you doing?"
Drakken didn't even bother to lift his head off the pillow or even open his eyes. "It's called 'trying to sleep', Shego."
"Yeah, no, I don't think so."
His entire body hit the cold, hard floor in about two seconds flat. His temper woke up, and he stood and turned to scream obscenities in response to what he considered an unwarranted attack. Shego's fiery eyes made him rethink that decision and all words died in his throat.
"This is my bed," she told him firmly. "You want a bed, go get one yourself."
His nails dug into the palms of his hands in absolute fury. "I think you're forgetting who's the boss here."
She rolled her eyes. "And you're forgetting that I was the one doing all the legwork for your stupid plans all year. Be a little more grateful."
Of course she was right. When he didn't have a comeback, she crawled into the very spot he had been in just moments before. "Thanks for warming it up for me," she smirked while readjusting the sheets and pillow to her satisfaction.
"But...ah..." Drakken looked around their lair as if a lost puppy. "Where am I supposed to-"
"You're the mastermind, doc, you figure it out." She turned so her back faced him.
He gave her an angry pout that she didn't see. "Shego!"
She raised an arm up, green flame engulfing her hand. Drakken grumbled and whined but he kept his words to himself. He crossed his arms and left the vicinity of the bed. The only thing in sight that even resembled something worth sleeping on was the chair ('throne', he corrected himself with slight amusement) that Shego lounged in to file her nails. It looked a little small for him, but 'beggars can't be choosers', as they say.
He curled up in it the best he could. After about ten minutes of shifting about in various uncomfortable positions, he admitted defeat. "Shego, this chair is killing me!"
"If you don't shut up, I'll be the one killing you."
He hissed a frustrated breath through his teeth. "Can't you have a heart for just one night? I just got out of prison and-"
"Yeah well, you didn't hire me for my heart," she snapped at him. "And I'm the one who broke you out of prison, remember? I don't need a recap."
This was a night he wasn't going to win, Drakken finally realized. Both Shego and this blasted chair were equally against him. Begrudgingly, he opted for the floor. It was just as cold and hard as it had been when Shego had thrown him onto it. He wrapped his arms around himself and curled up on his side, glaring into the darkness of the lair.
He must have fallen asleep at some point because otherwise he wouldn't have jerked awake. Something had flown across the room and hit him in the back. "What the-"
"Get in the bed."
The decisively authoritative command issued to him was met with confusion. She sighed loudly. "I said get in the bed," she repeated through clenched teeth.
This was such an unexpected gesture, Drakken thought at first he must either be dreaming or was being tricked. Still, he did as he was told and got up off of the floor. His back and joints ached, and he grimaced as he made his way to the bed. In what little light that was available in the lair, he could see the Shego had scooted over to the side, her back still to him.
"You're making too much noise over there and keeping me awake," she said in an annoyed tone. "So just get in bed and shut up already."
"So you're...sharing the bed with me?" He couldn't resist a tired smirk.
She glared at him over her shoulder. "You know, you could always sleep outside."
"No no, I'm good, I'm good," he said hastily. Drakken carefully got into the bed, the mattress creaking as he did so. He sighed in relief as he got himself comfortable. "Thank you."
She scoffed. "Whatever. I'm only allowing this because you're noisy when you're uncomfortable. Plus it's cold in here and you're the warmest thing in the room."
"This place didn't come with a heater?"
"Must've quit working."
"...and you're just now telling me?"
"Wow, some genius you are. It's obviously cold in here."
"I must have been distracted by how filthy this place is." He grunted when he felt her elbow suddenly greet his side. "Okay, fine, I'll take a look at it tomorrow." He rubbed his sore ribs. "Though honestly if you were this cold, you should've just let me stay in bed in the first place."
"I think I told you to shut up earlier, hmm?"
"Right," he said under his breath.
There was a minute of silence. "I guess it's not terrible having you back," Shego told him.
Drakken couldn't help but allow a small smile. "And it's not terrible to be back."
The next morning, Drakken woke up to feel that Shego had completely scooted over onto his side of the bed, her face buried between his shoulder blades while the rest of her was pressed up against him. No doubt it was an effort to keep warm. She would probably be completely infuriated once she realized what she had done in her sleep and then blame on it him. The thought rather amused him if he had to be honest.
The heater could stay broken a little longer.
Nope, he thought, it wasn't terrible to be back at all.